FAT LADY SALAD: A traditional holiday side dish from Franklin County, Vermont
1 cup (8 oz) cottage cheese
1 8 oz can crushed pineapple
1 8 oz tub Cool Whip (Cool Whip Lite is also acceptable)
1 pkg JELL-O (or Royal) gelatin dessert powder preferably in raspberry or cherry flavor, but really, it depends on your color scheme
Fat Lady Salad is best made the night before your large family dinner.
Thaw Cool Whip. Ideally the frozen whipped topping should be placed in refridgerator the night before preparation, but you have probably forgotten to do this. Curse. Blame whoever you feel was supposed to remind you to take the Cool Whip out of the freezer last night (hint: it is probably your father/husband). Leave it on the counter for three or four hours, but not too long or it will get soupy.
Drain crushed pineapple into a juice glass. Allow your youngest child to drink the pineapple juice. They will drink half and forget about the glass. You will find it this evening when trying to lay the silverware out for tomorrow's dinner.
Combine cottage cheese, crushed pineapple, and gelatin dessert powder in a large bowl. Mix well.
Fret that it looks really, really red. Does it always look that red? Were we supposed to use more pineapple?
Fold the by-now-mostly thawed Cool Whip into the very red cottage cheese mix. Continue to fold until well mixed and free of red streaks, but be cautious not to overfold and deflate the Cool Whip entirely. The final product should be roughly the color of strawberry frosting.
Fat Lady Salad may be served in that crystal bowl from your wedding that you only use for the large holiday family dinner. Make sure your eldest daughter is very careful with the bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and store overnight in the fridge (or the garage if it isn't too cold out).
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