I love the smell of francs in the morning

December 13, 2013 11:28 AM

Have you dreamed of owning a money bin a la Scrooge McDuck? Your dreams can now become a reality.
posted by reenum (31 comments total)

Surprizingly for a bunch of people that live in Switzerland, these folks are the shittiest snow shovelers!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:33 AM on December 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

Swiss Golden Shower?
posted by Sintram at 11:35 AM on December 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

Treasure Bath!!!
posted by Mr.Me at 11:37 AM on December 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

What
posted by Melismata at 11:39 AM on December 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is terribly, cool, depressing, awesome.

The reality of adulthood (and logic) crashing into the fantasy of being an 80s child. Would it, could it work? To swim the dreaming swim of Scrooge McDuck?

Alas, my cerebral cortex tells me I would find nothing but cold, uncomfortable, unforgivingly hard discs of pain and disappointment.

However, this, from the Business Insider article: "Their idea? Giving everyone in the country an unconditional basic income of 2,500 francs ($2,800) a month." ... I don't even make that much.

No money pit for me.
posted by Debaser626 at 11:40 AM on December 13, 2013

The bottom of the ad for the bank vault assumes I would also be interested in purchasing a sports car or an island.

They are obviously unaware of my current bank balance.
posted by Kitteh at 11:42 AM on December 13, 2013

Given that the weight of the coins is given as 15 tons, it would probably be safer to float on top of the money, than to take a dip inside it.
posted by mittens at 11:43 AM on December 13, 2013

Really, how fun would it be to have a sports car on your private island? All you could do is go around in circles.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:43 AM on December 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

The bottom of the ad for the bank vault assumes I would also be interested in purchasing a sports car or an island.

They thought I'd like to hear about "the most expensive way to reach Machu Picchu."
posted by Iridic at 11:44 AM on December 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is gonna make the best episode of Bones.
posted by griphus at 11:45 AM on December 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'd just ruin the illusion by bringing it all to Coinstar when I wanted another Amazon gift card.
posted by xingcat at 11:45 AM on December 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

The Toys section of that website is really really throwing my sense of dimensional and financial scales. Are they very cheap large things or every expensive small things...
posted by jeribus at 11:45 AM on December 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

I love the "You May Also Be Interested In" at the bottom. It's their automated system telling you "Hey big spender, you are obviously an individual of taste and distinction. And what better to go along with your Swiss Bank Vault with Money then a $40,000,000 private island off the coast of the Phillipines? Imagine capping your evening by closing out your nightly money bath with a rubdown from one of the hundreds of indentured locals on staff."
posted by mediocre at 11:47 AM on December 13, 2013 [4 favorites]

It's all fun and games until five armies show up at your door to claim your hoard.
posted by Foosnark at 11:50 AM on December 13, 2013 [3 favorites]

Actually, reading thebillfold's examination of the quantities required for proper moneyswim, I'm wary to invest in this product. Thank you, jamesedition, but I will be taking my business elsewhere.
posted by mediocre at 11:56 AM on December 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

What about a DANGER: DIABOLIK style paper monkey fuck pile?
posted by The Whelk at 12:09 PM on December 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

Debaser626: However, this, from the Business Insider article: "Their idea? Giving everyone in the country an unconditional basic income of 2,500 francs ($2,800) a month." ... I don't even make that much.

From the Business Insider link

It is time to partly disconnect human labor and income. We are living in a time where machines do a lot of the manual labor — that is great — we should be celebrating.

And from an earlier interview with Daniel Straub, the source of the quote above, some elaboration on the idea:

The unconditional income in Switzerland means that a third of the GDP would be distributed unconditionally. But I don't count that as government expenditure because it is immediately distributed to the people who live in this society. It means less government power because each individual can decide how to spend the money.

For more information on the general idea: see the Wikipedia page on Basic Income, and from there, How a Basic Income Program Saved a Namibian Village.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:16 PM on December 13, 2013 [4 favorites]

Last time I was in Switzerland a plate of fast Chinese was $25 and a Venti Starbucks was $8. This was years ago.
posted by effugas at 12:21 PM on December 13, 2013

and they have a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle 23 for $5000.
posted by mr vino at 12:21 PM on December 13, 2013

Money is filthy. Might as well go lick your local strip mall.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:25 PM on December 13, 2013

Would it, could it work? To swim the dreaming swim of Scrooge McDuck?

This question, and many others, are answered in horrific fashion in Scientifically Accurate Duck Tales (NSF80s Nostalgia)
posted by FatherDagon at 12:36 PM on December 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

Money is filthy. Might as well go lick your local strip mall.

If only there was someway to launder it.
posted by The Whelk at 12:37 PM on December 13, 2013 [4 favorites]

To add to FatherDagon: Peter Griffin's observation that lots of money in a big pile is "not a liquid -- it's a great many pieces of solid mattah, that form a solid, floor-like surface AHHHH!"
posted by jason6 at 12:51 PM on December 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

- Alloy: Copper 92% / Aluminium 6% / Nickel 2%

Weak fucking sauce.
posted by R. Schlock at 12:51 PM on December 13, 2013

The dump truck dumping a load of jingle on that slab is actually more McDucklike than the decidedly wading-pool-sized moneybin. Scrooge and Flintheart Glomgold actually did once heap up their respective piles on an abandoned airfield to measure them and see whose was bigger. (N.b. there is no Freud in Duckburg.)
posted by jfuller at 12:54 PM on December 13, 2013

"IT'S NOT A LIQUID! IT'S A GREAT MANY PIECES OF SOLID MATTER THAT FORM A HARD FLOORLIKE SURFACE!"
posted by Rhaomi at 1:01 PM on December 13, 2013

You may also be interested in:
* Mega-yacht, only $29,616,250.
* Giga-yacht, sweet ride for $40,636,250.
* Your own hotel in France, $101,378,751.

Hmmm. Do these come with staff included? What about batteries?
posted by RedOrGreen at 1:06 PM on December 13, 2013

Money is filthy. Might as well go lick your local strip mall.

Don't knock it until you try it.

Actually, no, don't try it.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:55 PM on December 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

- Alloy: Copper 92% / Aluminium 6% / Nickel 2%

Weak fucking sauce.

Face value of 8,000,000 5c coins: 400,000franc = $449,000

15 tons of coins x 0.92 = 13.8 tons copper @ spot-price of $3.28/lb = $90,528

So many disappointed scrap metal dealers out there.

(sidenote: at 1.8g per coin, 15 tons does work out right in the math)
posted by AzraelBrown at 4:39 PM on December 13, 2013

An actual money swim

It doesn't grow on trees you know
posted by flabdablet at 8:29 PM on December 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

There first thing that came to mind was Woody Allen jumping naked into a vat of cold Roosevelt dimes.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 6:51 AM on December 14, 2013