No means no.
January 15, 2014 5:10 PM   Subscribe

 
Talking dogs are a big hit at my house. Keep them coming.
posted by pashdown at 5:16 PM on January 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Basic obedience with a Siberian in public.

Me: Sit.
Husky: ABUSE! BETRAYAL! NO! REFUSE! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWOOOO
Concerned bystanders: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT POOR ANIMAL??????
posted by Wolfdog at 5:18 PM on January 15, 2014 [58 favorites]


That video sent this Bishop shuffling sadly off in the direction of his kennel so I had to turn it off.
posted by sparklemotion at 5:29 PM on January 15, 2014


Whenever I'm feeling particularly down, the many talking dogs of YouTube always help.
posted by fiercecupcake at 5:37 PM on January 15, 2014


sparklemotion: your link sent this user to google+ with no photo, prompting me to quote Blaze nooOOooss
posted by janey47 at 5:38 PM on January 15, 2014 [4 favorites]


I knew I choose poorly. Try this Dropbox Bishop
posted by sparklemotion at 5:42 PM on January 15, 2014 [8 favorites]


No. Flaaaaaaaged!




(not really)
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:42 PM on January 15, 2014 [3 favorites]


My pup is TOTALLY FINE with hanging out in her kennel when it's HER idea. When it's MY idea, though, she runs in a spiral towards her kennel door while shooting me her best mournful look over her shoulder. It's as if she found the loophole in the command "go to your cage" where it does not specify that she has to stay there, just go there, but then she sees my VERY SERIOUS FACE on her return trip and decides that I am not interested in loopholes. Between that nonsense and this video, my confusion about the difference between dogs and 3 year olds is at an all-time high.
posted by quiet coyote at 5:45 PM on January 15, 2014 [15 favorites]


sparklemotion, Dropbox Bishop does indeed look like a sad shuffler off to kenneldom. Awwww who's a puppy? You're a great big puppy!
posted by janey47 at 5:48 PM on January 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


also, puppybutt!
posted by supermedusa at 5:49 PM on January 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


I like how the guy holding the camera says, "It sounds like he's saying 'No!'" Yes, sir. Yes it does.
posted by brundlefly at 5:50 PM on January 15, 2014


I sent this to my mother yesterday thinking she might get a chuckle. She laughed until tears were streaming down her face. Apparently she has a similarly averse pup, but in her case the pup refuses walks. Once that harness is on, she hits the floor and will. not. budge.

The weird google + link made me aware that somehow Google stole, like, 3 random photos off my phone and put them on G+. I have never shared anything on G+. So, you know, thanks for that (and for eventual successful puppybutt!)
posted by like_a_friend at 6:03 PM on January 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


This is me when I'm drunk.
posted by naju at 6:06 PM on January 15, 2014 [6 favorites]


The dog needs to say No more clearly so subtitles wouldn't be needed.
posted by Colonel Panic at 6:08 PM on January 15, 2014 [8 favorites]


This is me when I'm asked to sit on another committee. Well, me on the inside; outside me has some vestage of professionalism.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:10 PM on January 15, 2014 [5 favorites]


This is me when I'm asked to sit on another committee. Well, me on the inside; outside me has some vestage of professionalism

except i think you would be a show poodle.
posted by Colonel Panic at 6:12 PM on January 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Also me when I'm drunk.

"Don't you want to go to bed instead of laying here on the floor watching TV?"
"NooOOOoo."
"You're watching the Spanish channel."
"NnooOOooo."
"You don't even speak Spanish"
"nooooo"
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 6:12 PM on January 15, 2014 [42 favorites]


I kept waiting for, "For the 50th time, Nnnnaaaooooooo, AND NOW I SHALL BITE YOUR FACE."


And this reminded me of what happened right outside my window at like 1 am last night, which sounded just like this...
posted by Huck500 at 6:21 PM on January 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


I misread that as "showing a puddle" and that was un-professional.
posted by Evilspork at 6:24 PM on January 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


This is hungover me.

"Fig, it's after 1. You need to get out of bed"
"NoooOOOo"

"Eat something, you'll feel better."
"NOOoooO"

Also, this got one of my pups howling.
posted by Fig at 6:26 PM on January 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


I was really thinking this would have been posted by HuronBob.
posted by Aizkolari at 6:32 PM on January 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


He's not saying "no", he's making cow noises. Which he does because he knows it's hilarious.
posted by bleep at 6:35 PM on January 15, 2014


Oh my goodness this reminds me of my Siberian who died a few years ago. He did an arooOoooOoo thing when he was excited or didn't want to do something like go to his kennel. He absolutely sounded like he was explaining his side of the story.

My current dog doesn't talk, but she sighs very expressively. You said it, sister.
posted by Molly Razor at 6:39 PM on January 15, 2014 [5 favorites]


This is the saddest dog ever! Alaska the Siamese Kitty was my favorite talking animal on YouTube, but her video seems to be gone. However it still exists in the form of this kitty watching it and being deeply moved, which actually I like better than the original.

Here is 8 seconds of bad phone camera footage of my boxer saying Mom on command. SO PROUD.

The parrot talks too, but I'm not sure that really counts.
posted by Lou Stuells at 6:42 PM on January 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


HE MAKES NOISES LIKE PEOPLE
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:43 PM on January 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


My current dog doesn't talk, but she sighs very expressively. You said it, sister.

My friend has a shibe (they are an amazing combination of incredibly smart and incredibly dumb and you can never tell which one they're going to be) that would do whole conversations with you. And then when she was down she'd lay down with a sadly disgusted "MWUF!" like she just knew you couldn't understand her because you were an idiot.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 6:45 PM on January 15, 2014 [14 favorites]


This is why I have cats.
posted by zardoz at 6:54 PM on January 15, 2014


Right because when you say "time for kennel!" to your cats they just jump in there.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 7:01 PM on January 15, 2014 [23 favorites]


Egg. Glub. Gleg!
posted by The otter lady at 7:04 PM on January 15, 2014 [17 favorites]


Alaska the Siamese Kitty was my favorite talking animal on YouTube, but her video seems to be gone

WHAT? I loved that one! "I know it's difficult, but you've got to try." Hmf. I knew my instinct to hoard all the talking-animal videos had an important evolutionary purpose.
posted by theatro at 7:15 PM on January 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


Husky imitating a baby's chatter (from the related videos YouTube.).

Or, AaaawwaaaWAAAAhWoohwooohWOOOOW.
posted by mistersquid at 7:45 PM on January 15, 2014 [4 favorites]


Siberians are ALWAYS like this, in my experience. My parents have one and whenever I'm visiting he just gets sooooo whiny and angsty if I'm not, like, rolling around in the carpet disregarding all the other humans with him. He just moans and moans and eventually shuffles off dejectedly and pouts in a corner.

I'm pretty sure he thinks we're "milk brothers" or something doggy like that
posted by Doleful Creature at 7:50 PM on January 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


The teacher we used to have for obedience training used to say "Oh those northern breeds!" in regards to our Samoyeds and the other huskies in the class.

Which, really, is dog racism.
posted by maryr at 7:52 PM on January 15, 2014 [7 favorites]


I have always always always wanted a Husky, and it will never happen as long as I live in the hellish south. Some day I will move somewhere where these awesome pups can happily abide and we will talk ALL DAY LONG.

NooooOOOOOOoooooo. Give me fooooOOOOOOOOdddzz naaaoooow!
posted by blurker at 8:22 PM on January 15, 2014


Apparently she has a similarly averse pup, but in her case the pup refuses walks. Once that harness is on, she hits the floor and will. not. budge.

I am not your mother but holy frijole this is the most annoying thing my dog does.

All my dog wants is to have a nice swim, and all I want to have is a nice walk. So usually I compromise by going for a nice walk and following that up with a nice swim for her, but she has decided she can break our little treaty and insist on the swim.

So now when I start heading away from the water she sits, and then if I do not immediately bow to her command she drops entirely onto the pavement and I'm stuck tugging at my dog on the pavement while strangers judge me.

asdfasdggasgkl;
posted by Quilford at 8:24 PM on January 15, 2014 [2 favorites]




I see "kennel" recommended all the time, here and elsewhere, as a solution for behavior that is problematic for the dog owner.

Dogs don't go into the kennel because it makes them feel safe, dogs go into the kennel because it preserves order in the pack to obey the alpha [you].

Yes, I hate this jokey thread and it's making me unhappy.

"She [Temple Grandin] says it is vital for dogs to play off-leash with other dogs, preferably in a wide-open area, not the urban dog park. Exercise is vital, and being cooped up in apartments can create disorders like acute separation anxiety."
posted by vapidave at 8:34 PM on January 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


So don't get a dog unless you live on a farm?
posted by maryr at 8:41 PM on January 15, 2014


Right because when you say "time for kennel!" to your cats they just jump in there.

Uh, no. I don't even pretend in the first place to have any control over them. They do their own thing, I just give them food and a roof. And they don't even need that half the time. Owning a dog is like a part-time job you have to pay for.
posted by zardoz at 8:48 PM on January 15, 2014 [2 favorites]


I have absolutely no doubt that the Husky is verbalizing the word No, to mean no.
posted by Brian B. at 9:19 PM on January 15, 2014


He doesn't want to go into the kennel because he's still wearing his harness. He thinks there's still a chance he can go back outside. Plus harnesses are uncomfortable in the kennel. Take the harness off!
posted by trip and a half at 9:42 PM on January 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


My other dog treats her crate like a teenager treats her bedroom. When her boxer brother is getting annoyingly bouncy or she's Just Had Enough of everyone being exhaustingly uncool, she heads in there for solace. You can almost hear a door slam and a stereo turn on.

Keeping a dog with you at all times can also create acute separation anxiety when you eventually have to do something non-dog-compatible. They do have to learn how to spend alone time. It's nice if they can do that without tearing down drywall.
posted by Lou Stuells at 9:58 PM on January 15, 2014 [8 favorites]


"So don't get a dog unless you live on a farm?"

I've had a lot of pets, in the city and in the country. I largely agree with the very well regarded Temple Grandin.
posted by vapidave at 10:05 PM on January 15, 2014


Alaska the Siamese Kitty was my favorite talking animal on YouTube, but her video seems to be gone

WHAT? I loved that one! "I know it's difficult, but you've got to try." Hmf. I knew my instinct to hoard all the talking-animal videos had an important evolutionary purpose.
posted


Actually, Alaska seems to be still around on Myspace.
posted by happyroach at 10:18 PM on January 15, 2014 [5 favorites]


The smiling happy fox video on that myspace page is the best. It's literally making SQUEE sounds when she rubs it's belleh. Now I have to go check and see if they've started adopting out those domesticated ones.
posted by mcrandello at 10:40 PM on January 15, 2014


I saw this yesterday and couldn't post it 'cuz I wasn't 24 hours from my last post... This is what huskies are like...

But, you know they have to be taught how to verbalize... My wife spent hours teaching attempting to teach our pup to say "Let's Go Blue"
posted by HuronBob at 2:33 AM on January 16, 2014


since human not understand No, waiting for Husky to say it other way so human "get it"
posted by wallstreet1929 at 3:21 AM on January 16, 2014


"Siberians are ALWAYS like this, in my experience. My parents have one and whenever I'm visiting he just gets sooooo whiny and angsty if I'm not, like, rolling around in the carpet disregarding all the other humans with him. He just moans and moans and eventually shuffles off dejectedly and pouts in a corner. "

I didn't know any of my kids were on MetaFilter... which one are you?
posted by HuronBob at 4:14 AM on January 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Siberians: the official dog of Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

(In the same way that Jack Russells are the official dog of ADHD, or Dachshunds are the official dog of OCD, Meleomania-type)
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:30 AM on January 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Yeah, my husky thinks of her kennel as her teenage girl room too. Whenever I do something she doesn't like... like vacuum, pull a kleenex (she thinks I might want to clean her ears), type (oh the typing OH HOW SHE HATES IT), or she's just plain grouchy and overtired, in she goes. I haven't confined her since she was a little puppy, but kennel is still there, covered with a sheet and a Lion King blanket to snuggle on... she likes it in there. It has never been a punishment.

Not all dogs hate their kennels, or see it as a place they are sent when they're bad.

If Temple Grandin had a husky, and let it out to play in an unfenced area she'd be likely to find her husky had gone all Call of the Wild on her ass and joined the wolf pack. They are notoriously undependable on the recall.

(Actually, I can trust my husky to play off-leash in an unfenced area *if* her playmates have dependable recall. Like many huskies, she herself has very selective hearing, and if there's a deer or rabbit or cool-sounding car, fagettaboutit.)
posted by RedEmma at 9:48 AM on January 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


So don't get a dog unless you live on a farm?

Don't get a socially-oriented dog that needs lots of daily outside time and stimulating physical activity if you live in an apartment, fo sho.

Stupidest, insanest, hard-to-handle dogs I have ever met were a paid of Australian Sheep Dogs kept in an apartment with nothing to herd. That husky in the video doesn't need a kennel, it needs a fucking sled and a pack and a harness. I'm going with the dog owner picked what they thought was a pretty dog and then failed to provide it with the kind of lifestyle it needs.

My friend loved her dogs. But she would have had happier, better adjusted apartment-dogs if they were something like Schipperkes.

And why should the damn Husky respect it's monkey when the monkey comes at it with that limp, supplicating tone of voice? I'd moo at you and show some teeth if you whined at me like that trying to get me to do what I didn't feel like.

Multi-axis fail. Almost fractally fail.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:05 AM on January 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


Do huskies calm as they get older? The samoyeds I grew up with were super energetic until around 2 or 3 years of age at which point they basically became rugs that needed to be walked twice a day. They were incredibly pack/people oriented - not to mention food oriented - and they had a fenced in back yard to play in, but I'd hardly argue that they are breed that needs much "stimulating physical activity" unless that means digging giant holes in your yard in the summer.

A sheep dog with nothing to herd is sad indeed. The aussies I've known have been the best sweetest dogs, but you had to be careful or they'd herd the baby.
posted by maryr at 11:04 AM on January 16, 2014


Nanuk (the actual dog) has mellowed now that he is 8. Before that, not so much.
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:42 AM on January 16, 2014


I crate my dogs when I'm gone during the day, but the Chihuahua's love the protected space when someone isn't there to be velcroed to and the Chorgi has to be in her crate so that she won't rupture a disk and paralyze herself.

And yeah, they all treat their crates as "my space - go away"
posted by drewbage1847 at 1:51 PM on January 16, 2014


When you try to get in my mom's Lab's crate to clean it he will try to crawl right in with you like you are the annoying guest but he will put up with you because he is A Good Dog and you are a guest in his home.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 2:53 PM on January 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


"Do huskies calm as they get older? "

Mine did. Lara is now 5.5 years old, in the past year or so she's become much more sedate and less "puppy".
posted by HuronBob at 3:14 PM on January 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Based on my experience, huskies do mellow with the amount of physical activity they need--like instead of two hours of walking/playing, they can get down to one, depending on the weather. However, they do need their pack (you! a buddy!) and they do need mental stimulation. A bored husky, no matter how old, will be a destructive husky. They are also deeply impacted by weather: hate rain, love snow, hate heat, love cold (as long as it isn't too blizzardy, though even that can be interesting for a while).

I shake my head hard at anyone who doesn't walk/run/hard play their husky every single day.

People who want compliant, easily trained dogs who follow you like a slave to your masterfulness should not get a husky. A husky is like a cat in temperament in some ways. So I don't see this video as anything out of the ordinary. My husky usually doesn't "talk" like that, she growls. It isn't an I'M GOING TO BITE YOU growl, it's a stop-bothering-me-you-suck growl that sometimes becomes a talky sort of moan.
posted by RedEmma at 4:20 PM on January 16, 2014


The disappointing thing about this thread is the number of mefites who do not understand that any mention of a dog or a cat requires a link to a photo of said dog or cat... what is WRONG with you people?
posted by HuronBob at 7:10 PM on January 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


My Boxer/Shepherd/Husky mix only knows how to say "Mom". He especially likes to go upstairs, climb under my covers, and yell "MOM MOM MOM!" until I come up and have a nap. Cracks me right the hell up.

I'm more used to my cats being vocal. I had a dollfaced Persian named Lulu who used to holler "Out", "No", "Now" and "Tuna" on the regular. She also surprised the hell out of us one afternoon when, upon hopping up on my freshly formally set dining room table and being told to get down, she wailed "I dun wanna!" in front of half a dozen people. My friend asked "Did she just say what I think she said?" She had never said that before, so I just sort of stood there, dumbfounded.

People who want compliant, easily trained dogs who follow you like a slave to your masterfulness should not get a husky.

Seriously. Even though my Rocky is only part Husky, the instinct to be independent and ornery is really strong with him. This makes it very hard if he manages to escape the yard, because his desire to run is SO strong, and his desire to pay me any mind in that case is non-existent. They CAN be trained, but it's a lot of work, because they are very willful critters who know that they are smarter than you are.

Ditto for Pit Bulls. Zoe is just as sweet as pie and as snuggly as a teddy bear, but she's also willful as hell, and does not just blindly obey. If she thinks you're a moron, she'll stare at you like you haven't enough sense to breathe without help.
posted by MissySedai at 8:02 PM on January 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


The aussies I've known. Better?
posted by maryr at 9:12 PM on January 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


HuronBob - Meet Cookie - my very expensive (medically speaking) pup. In this pic she's resting after a long day supervising my brewing operations.
posted by drewbage1847 at 11:00 PM on January 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


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