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March 5, 2014 2:40 PM   Subscribe

The Future has arrived.
posted by Fizz (56 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
IT'S CRUEL TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE
posted by The Whelk at 2:42 PM on March 5 [36 favorites]


It's a damned shame they couldn't afford enough TD time to make the dynamics of the people riding the skateboard look like people were actually riding the skateboard. Heck, they could have just shot people skateboarding on a green screen and comped them in and gotten better results than some of the animation that's so wooden it'd make Joe Veitch (warning, autoplay edgy music) blush.
posted by straw at 2:44 PM on March 5


I knew it was you, Fizz. You broke my heart.
posted by Saxon Kane at 2:44 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


Related.

With my favourite quote:
Billy Zane, concludes: "Dude, I can't believe you actually did this."
posted by Fizz at 2:44 PM on March 5


Tony Hawk apologizes for the hoverboard joke...
posted by blaneyphoto at 2:46 PM on March 5


Oh god, not here too...
posted by stenseng at 2:49 PM on March 5


My only surprise is that it took this long to get here.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 2:52 PM on March 5 [4 favorites]


I am disappointed by the lack of technobabble.
posted by tybeet at 2:55 PM on March 5 [2 favorites]


Last I heard Mattel engineers have this mostly figured out, they just can't get it to lose momentum over water.
posted by ckape at 2:56 PM on March 5 [12 favorites]


I saw this linked a bunch and was looking forward to some pretty sweet effects. Too bad. The riders' harnesses are so obvious and why did they make them rise 2 feet off the ground? Not only extremely unrealistic (given the theoretical power requirements for any kind of lift) but it would be terrible for actual riding.

Srsly, they got all those stars and totally phoned in the rest. I'm mad.
posted by wemayfreeze at 2:57 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


YOUR JACKET IS NOW DRY
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 3:05 PM on March 5 [6 favorites]


Holy Fuck, a working DeLorean!
posted by biffa at 3:05 PM on March 5 [29 favorites]


This blew up my facebook feed yesterday, and everyone was drooling over it and how we live in the future now and how finally something from back to the future happened and still waiting for their flying cars etc, and I tell you: not once did I comment on anybody's thing and say THAT'S NOT HOW PHYSICS WORKS, YOU DOLTS even though I was totally saying it in my head a bunch.

I deserve a goddamned medal.
posted by phunniemee at 3:06 PM on March 5 [23 favorites]


Is it ever officially explained, perhaps in a novelization, exactly why hoverboards don't work on water?
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:07 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


This is real my cousin rode one he said they really fly.
posted by ColdChef at 3:09 PM on March 5 [5 favorites]


At 3:07 the dude is propelling the board by kicking the air. Never mind the board--just sell the shoes.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:10 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


The only explanation I was able to think of for how anyone could possibly think this is real is that it says it's real and they just believe anything anybody ever says always no matter what.
posted by aubilenon at 3:10 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


To be fair, there are ongoing efforts at the highest levels.
posted by Beardman at 3:11 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


Okay, on the basis of that Tony Hawk apology video, I need to amend my statement. It isn't the animation, it's the acting. Yeesh.
posted by straw at 3:11 PM on March 5


Maybe they were just pretending to believe it and I'm a second-order chump
posted by aubilenon at 3:11 PM on March 5


This is real my cousin rode one he said they really fly.

I heard they had to cover it up because it killed a kid

pass it on
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 3:11 PM on March 5 [7 favorites]


Where can I buy one?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:12 PM on March 5


Maybe they were just pretending to believe it and I'm a second-order chump
posted by aubilenon at 5:11 PM on March 5


The really depressing fact is that this is the most optimistic interpretation of the whole situation.
posted by nanojath at 3:13 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


Trigger warning in case you are currently enrolled in the MIT Physics Graduate program.
posted by perhapses at 3:15 PM on March 5 [10 favorites]


Is it ever officially explained, perhaps in a novelization, exactly why hoverboards don't work on water?

Because they keep running into Jesus.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 3:18 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


The only explanation I was able to think of for how anyone could possibly think this is real is that it says it's real and they just believe anything anybody ever says always no matter what.

Not necessarily. People tend to be selective about their delusions. It adds authenticity.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:18 PM on March 5


You know who's starting to show their age? Moby and Tony Hawk.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:18 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


It is a little more believable than the Segway hoax was in its day.
posted by perhapses at 3:21 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


Sadly, it was one of the slow motion shots of Tony Hawk that gave away the harness. They didn't get the fabric wash right on his left shoulder, and you can see the bunching where the harness is giving the most "lift" to him being suspended above the ground.

Still an amusing prank, though. Would be a very effective tool to highlight how easy it is to fool people by manipulating media.
posted by daq at 3:22 PM on March 5


They missed the boat by not having Rob Ford ride one of these.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:22 PM on March 5 [4 favorites]


I heard they were released in $farAwayState but were recalled when some kid got hurt.
posted by borkencode at 3:24 PM on March 5


Heavy.
posted by dirigibleman at 3:27 PM on March 5 [2 favorites]


Is it ever officially explained, perhaps in a novelization, exactly why hoverboards don't work on water?

They can hover, you just can't give them any momentum, because there's nothing to kick off of, that's why you need POWAH!
posted by Navelgazer at 3:30 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


Sadly, it was one of the slow motion shots of Tony Hawk that gave away the harness.

So you didn't notice SchoolBoy Q had a chestburster at 2:30?
posted by cashman at 3:30 PM on March 5


Metafilter's Own
posted by heathkit at 3:32 PM on March 5


Not to mention in some shots the hoverboards have shadows underneath them and in others not, even though it's all shot at the same time.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 4:03 PM on March 5


They can hover, you just can't give them any momentum, because there's nothing to kick off of, that's why you need POWAH!

D'oh! Of course you're right! I had completely forgotten how that played out in the movie. (In my defense, part two is easily the most forgettable movie from the trilogy.)
posted by Atom Eyes at 4:04 PM on March 5


It fooled me because I don't actually care about skateboards and wouldn't buy one of these. Not really much to lose from the delusion, eh?
posted by LogicalDash at 4:11 PM on March 5


In my defense, I was pretty confused what exactly they'd invented, because I figured a hoverboard would work like a hovercraft and stay very close to the ground all the time, whereas this seems like some kind of limited antigravity because magnets. If you can do the antigrav, why a board?
posted by LogicalDash at 4:13 PM on March 5


How would anyone think this could possibly be real?

Congratulations on posting it to Metafilter mere minutes before Funny or Die dropped the whole stupid pretense and fessed up to a poorly constructed hoax. Christopher Lloyd's apology video is apparently their official statement, an embarrassing attempt to salvage some sort of humor out of a poorly conceived idea.

Metafilter's own waxpancake was early in unravelling the hoax, naming one of the actors in the video. This custom webfont containing the HUVr logo next to the Funny or Die logo was a nice find by Zac Coffman, too.
posted by Nelson at 4:41 PM on March 5


They can hover, you just can't give them any momentum, because there's nothing to kick off of, that's why you need POWAH!

Not exactly. Sure, it would be more difficult to push yourself, but you would get some pushback from kicking the water, as Marty does in the movie.

The question is: Why does the hoverboard lose momentum over water? You'd think it would be nearly frictionless and would just coast all the way across.
posted by cmoj at 5:02 PM on March 5


The question is: Why does the hoverboard lose momentum over water? You'd think it would be nearly frictionless and would just coast all the way across.

Presumably an upright human creates a bit of drag
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:07 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


They do work, they just don't show you the phone-booth sized power supply it's tethered to just offscreen.
posted by sourwookie at 5:11 PM on March 5


I don't see why anyone would need to apologize for this, or feel ashamed in any way.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 5:20 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


Now we just need to figure out a way to be able to send a fax into any home at anytime.
posted by dry white toast at 5:39 PM on March 5


At 3:07 the dude is propelling the board by kicking the air.

As they do in the film, IIRC.
If I were designing a hoverboard, I would absolutely make the propulsion system intuitive to potential customers (i.e., existing skateboarders). A series of sensors along the side to detect your foot's motion as you "kick," which then triggers a burst of forward power.
posted by LEGO Damashii at 5:56 PM on March 5


Power Laces! All right!
posted by XhaustedProphet at 6:15 PM on March 5


They missed the boat by not having Rob Ford ride one of these.

Rob Ford is a ride.
posted by sneebler at 6:49 PM on March 5


It's my understanding that Rob Ford gets plenty of rides at home.
posted by wabbittwax at 8:36 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


TOM HIDDLESTON APOLOGIZES: "I'M NOT REALLY A NORSE DEITY"
posted by straight at 9:29 PM on March 5 [2 favorites]


I hate it when they hit that phase of doggedly insisting " it is TOO real!" long after it's hit the stupidly obvious stage... But at the end of the day I'll tolerate anything that gives Christopher Lloyd a paycheck.
posted by nanojath at 7:27 AM on March 6 [1 favorite]


Presumably an upright human creates a bit of drag

Not nearly enough. You don't slow to a stop within 20 feet if you sit up on a bicycle. Or, for that matter, a skateboard on flat ground.
posted by cmoj at 8:05 AM on March 6


I'm very happy to see this. Somehow, I thought Lloyd was dead. I am happy to see that is a great exaggeration.
posted by Goofyy at 8:12 AM on March 6


I'm curious what the intended end game was here. The apology video was funny enough, but they had a lot of big names in the first video for seemingly no point. Maybe this was supposed to stay low key until December (the "destination time" on the website)?
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 10:39 AM on March 6


Pfft. What, no flying car? No rocket pack?
posted by Smedleyman at 5:18 PM on March 6


@HUVRTech: Our billboard is up! Warning: photo includes QR Code.
posted by Nelson at 6:51 PM on March 7


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