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maybe this could've gone in my last post
April 30, 2014 8:15 AM   Subscribe

Ever thought about making ramen in your hotel's coffee maker? Well, this lady cooks everything in her coffee maker (also available in svenska).

well, maybe not your hotel's coffee maker, at least
posted by and they trembled before her fury (35 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
I have a friend who is like this but with a waffle iron. I frequently see tweets like "waffle iron steak night!"

She is a MeFite if she would like to out herself.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:20 AM on April 30 [3 favorites]


...and I see that waffle iron steak has been done by this woman as well. Oh God! The posts are coming from INSIDE THE BLOG!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:22 AM on April 30 [6 favorites]


Is this how the fish ended up in the percolator?
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:23 AM on April 30 [12 favorites]


Sous-vide using a toilet and radio battery will be handy if I end up in jail.
posted by srboisvert at 8:24 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


I remember once AskMe helped someone make french toast in a toaster oven. That was a pretty good day.
posted by bondcliff at 8:25 AM on April 30


as a former housekeeper at a nice hotel - seriously, never use the in room coffee pots.
posted by nadawi at 8:26 AM on April 30 [3 favorites]


Let's take bacon as an example... 30 to 45 minutes or so with a coffee maker, but five to seven minutes with a stove. Sometimes people are like "Oh, you must be stupid... Don't you realize that it's much more efficient to cook with a stove!!!???" ... OF COURSE I know that. But that's not the point. This is one of my main interests! I know it's an unusual one, but some people like to dance, sing, paint or race with cars. I don't. I like to try and make different things edible with my coffee maker.

She's like the Ulrika Meinhof of...er...coffee-maker cooking. ("Everybody talks about the weather...we don't")

I love the idea that the alternative to racing cars is cooking in your coffee-maker.
posted by Frowner at 8:26 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


Do take note that she cooks a cat with the coffee maker. No joke.
posted by mgriffioen at 8:29 AM on April 30


mgriffioen, note the date on that post.
spoiler: april fools!
posted by and they trembled before her fury at 8:30 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


Do take note that she cooks a cat with the coffee maker. No joke.

On April 1st.
posted by bondcliff at 8:30 AM on April 30 [3 favorites]


The last instant ramen I've eaten, it was a 3-minute cup I cooked with the office's Nespresso machine. So... yeah?
posted by sukeban at 8:30 AM on April 30


as a former housekeeper at a nice hotel - seriously, never use the in room coffee pots.

I read an article where a cop said this too: people cook up some kind of meth in them, it seems.
posted by thelonius at 8:32 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


Do take note that she cooks a cat with the coffee maker. No joke.

It took me a while to be confident that this was a joke (although the photo where she is holding up the "dead" cat is pretty clearly posed, with a surprisingly compliant kitty). I think this is because I unconsciously associate 1. cooking lamb hearts; 2. "extreme" cooking; 3. Swedes (my family is Swedish-American with some degree of connection to Sweden remaining) with a certain kind of rough barbarism that might lead one to kill and eat a cat and think it funny. All these things are not actually accurate, but I was surprised by how ready I was to think she'd actually hurt one of her cats.
posted by Frowner at 8:34 AM on April 30 [2 favorites]


The Food Team at work did a couple of videos on cooking in your coffee maker.

My mother actually used to do this when I'd go visit her at work during summers when school was out. It was before the era when microwave ovens were cheap and ubiquitous, and a coffee maker is what we had available to us. Mostly we cooked ramen and hot dogs.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:34 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


No wonder hotel room coffee always tastes like chili!
posted by mazola at 8:37 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


mgriffioen, note the date on that post.
spoiler: april fools!


goddamnit.
posted by mgriffioen at 8:38 AM on April 30 [3 favorites]


Yes, and I once made chocolate cake in a mug in the microwave. It was disgusting.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:46 AM on April 30 [2 favorites]


I believe this is the same woman who do the cats wearing tights blog too.
posted by Iteki at 8:48 AM on April 30


This woman is absolutely insane. I love her.
posted by maudlin at 8:50 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


No wonder hotel room coffee always tastes like chili!

And cats.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:17 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


I like how you anti-in-room-coffee-maker crowd think getting a little hit of free meth is a bad thing, or something to be avoided.
posted by Keith Talent at 9:19 AM on April 30 [4 favorites]


Mann's Assumption keeps far away from the hotel coffeemaker, thanks.
posted by entropicamericana at 9:20 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


maybe this could've gone in my last post

What does this have to do with fainting Cambodian garment workers?

;-)
posted by Curious Artificer at 9:27 AM on April 30


Oops, sorry, the one before that one, obv. :P
posted by and they trembled before her fury at 9:29 AM on April 30


fwiw - it's not meth that is behind my suggestion - but, people do a lot of weird shit with things that aren't theirs and housekeeping often cares more that things look clean, not that they are clean - which can lead to someone washing a carafe that had pee in it with something like a bleach cleaner (not me, but i did see it) - that sort of shit happened all the time.
posted by nadawi at 9:36 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


So to be fair, if some sick fuck urinated in the carafe, and then housekeeping cleaned with a bleach based cleaner, it'd be clean and safe. I'd drink coffee from it, I'd let my kids drink from it.

That's what bleach based products are for.
posted by Keith Talent at 10:16 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


Is there one where she makes nitroglycerine with a coffee maker? Don't tell me it's impossible; I saw Tommy Lee Jones do it in Blown Away.
posted by ceribus peribus at 10:18 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


yeah - but one usually rinses the bleach off...
posted by nadawi at 10:19 AM on April 30


The last thing you should do with a hotel coffee maker is use it to make the provided coffee. They expect you to come back after that? Really?
posted by hwestiii at 11:19 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


How long till the coffee makers include the warning: "Not suggested for use in cooking lamb hearts or bacon wrapped chili crayfish with mango."
posted by ChuckRamone at 11:55 AM on April 30 [1 favorite]


As a student, many years ago, I regularly cooked Kraft Mac and Cheese in the coffee pot, well, but it was my coffee pot.
posted by Abinadab at 2:13 PM on April 30


Well, they're not much use for making coffee.
posted by sneebler at 5:44 PM on April 30


I am so glad I don't drink coffee.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:03 PM on April 30


Mr. Roquette used to boil eggs in a coffee maker. I found a hotel coffee maker to be pretty awesome as a cous-cousier. Instant cous-cous, dehydrated vegetables and beef jerky.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 9:41 PM on April 30


I read an article where a cop said this too: people cook up some kind of meth in them, it seems.

I heard a Frankenstein lives there.
-Ralph Wiggum
posted by hal_c_on at 11:35 PM on April 30


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