Generate a random annoyed footballer.
June 25, 2014 10:04 AM   Subscribe

Karim Benzema is ticked off because you stretched out his favourite t-shirt. FIFA filmed every footballer present at the 2014 FIFA World Cup folding their arms and looking moody, to be used in VFX. Now, thanks to Josh Cluderay, you can find out why they look so pissed.
posted by running order squabble fest (40 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
 
These have been the highlight of my World Cup thus far. It's wonderful, painful, rapid-fire awkwardness before every kickoff.
posted by Harms at 10:10 AM on June 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


Glad I'm not the only one ^

Is folding one's arms a pretty universal gesture or is does it predominate in certain cultures? I can't tell if it's just me but it seems like some players do it differently. Is arm folding simply an awkward-looking gesture? Ack.
posted by sibboleth at 10:11 AM on June 25, 2014


This is best thing.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:14 AM on June 25, 2014


Aurelien Chedjou is pissed off because you didn't do the washing-up.


What was most lovely about this one is that Aurelien Chedjou didn't look so much pissed but disappointed in me. I felt horrible.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:15 AM on June 25, 2014 [13 favorites]


I've found the winner: Arjen Robben is in a huff because you laughed at his new hairstyle.
posted by elizardbits at 10:18 AM on June 25, 2014 [5 favorites]


Maya Yoshida is annoyed because you keep playing made-up words in Scrabble.

Look, they're NOT made up, they're just not in the official dictionary yet. You KNOW it's a word, give me the points dude.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:21 AM on June 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Giorgio Chiellini is pissed...

Oh I think I know what he's on about.
posted by 2bucksplus at 10:22 AM on June 25, 2014 [12 favorites]


It seems all sports do this now. (I first noticed it in baseball, but I'd bet it came from the NFL.) I don't know why.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:23 AM on June 25, 2014


I love this arm-fold - great last minute head turn.
And check out this maverick.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 10:32 AM on June 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


And check out this maverick.

Woah.
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:43 AM on June 25, 2014


I really want someone to lay on the SFX to turn a few of these at random into "looked directly at the Ark" style demises. Sprinkle them in before the games, but never reference them. So Alexi will be all like "Lahm is the key player hear because.."meanwhile Lahm's face is exploding in blood on screen.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:50 AM on June 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


After commenting on the goofiness of the turn/arm-crossing thing, I was told it was because before, they'd just have players stand still but they couldn't and it looked goofy, so it was better to have them do something. (Although it this doesn't stop the goofy part.)

To which I replied "Why can't they just use a still photo?"

But now the games would not be the same without these.
posted by darksong at 10:52 AM on June 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


God its fucking awful. Are they supposed to look mean and tough or something? It just looks crap.
posted by marienbad at 10:59 AM on June 25, 2014


Kyle Beckerman is not happy because you're playing your music too loud.

I find that hard to believe.
posted by headnsouth at 11:02 AM on June 25, 2014 [5 favorites]


Andrea Pirlo is cross because you ruined the finale of Game of Thrones.

Is it wrong that I feel worse at the mere suggestion I might do this to Pirlo than I do for actually doing it to the wife?
posted by garius at 11:09 AM on June 25, 2014 [5 favorites]


Welp, the one nice thing about being forced to use Explorer at work is that it de-syncs the animations here so every time I click "next one" it hops to the beginning again for a split second and makes them look like they're powering down.
posted by psoas at 11:16 AM on June 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


I never knew there were so many ways to fold one's arms. I like Guillermo Ochoa's approach (don't know how to link, sorry).
posted by Partario at 11:19 AM on June 25, 2014


Thankfully I've only tuned in to the matches at the last second or so before they started, so I've never had to endure watching 22 of these before every game...

Or is it possible that the only English-language broadcasters using these segments are the American ones?
posted by ardgedee at 11:21 AM on June 25, 2014


Christian Atsu is not speaking to you because you said his new hat didn't suit him.

But it covers his perky mohawk! :(
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 11:27 AM on June 25, 2014


I think we killed it. Well, us or FIFA's lawyers.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 11:33 AM on June 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


I saw a hilarious spoof of these little bumpers, a video short with the US men's team. Probably on Reddit, and now I can't find it and I'm mad and I don't want to spoil the punchline by describing it too closely. Ring any bells?
posted by Nelson at 11:56 AM on June 25, 2014


By far the best of these intros is Benoît Assou-Ekotto's; where everyone else tries to either look fierce or bored, he's got a giant goofy grin on his face. I wish I could find a clip of it.

(Assou-Ekotto's on record as not playing by the rules of this sort of thing.)
posted by asterix at 12:14 PM on June 25, 2014


I saw a hilarious spoof of these little bumpers, a video short with the US men's team. Probably on Reddit, and now I can't find it and I'm mad and I don't want to spoil the punchline by describing it too closely. Ring any bells?

This one from Jimmy Kimmel?
posted by inigo2 at 12:32 PM on June 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


It's probably not this East/West college bowl lineup by Key and Peele. But.
posted by running order squabble fest at 12:43 PM on June 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Are they truly tapping into the database of all players, or just certain ones?

Because I really want to find out why Diego Forlan isn't speaking to me.
posted by spinifex23 at 1:11 PM on June 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


These are incredible.

Lionel Messi is ticked off because you haven't introduced him to your friends yet.

listen, uh.... you'll meet them soon, I promise, I'm just a complicated person and I'm waiting for the right time...
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:13 PM on June 25, 2014


One of my favourite moments of the World Cup so far was hearing someone in a crowded pub yell "Who the hell thought this was a good idea?" as these introductions played out.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:30 PM on June 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


That's the one inigo2, thank you!
posted by Nelson at 1:32 PM on June 25, 2014


That said...these are better than the intros in American football where instead of just using a photograph they run video of the players staring into the camera. It gets into uncanny valley territory when they blink.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:32 PM on June 25, 2014


Vedran Corluka or former Menudo member?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:13 PM on June 25, 2014


Because I really want to find out why Diego Forlan isn't speaking to me.


Oh, I think you know why.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:16 PM on June 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


They're all the same pic...
posted by persona au gratin at 3:20 PM on June 25, 2014


I think that if you don't let the GIF play out it doesn't refresh. Either that or Neymar has many names, and is absolutely furious.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:22 PM on June 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Works now. Carry on.
posted by persona au gratin at 3:23 PM on June 25, 2014


Ochoa for those of you who would wanna see his approach to folding his arms.
posted by lizarrd at 3:43 PM on June 25, 2014


Antoine Griezmann is mad because you took three chips when he only offered you one.

Look they were stuck together.

They do this for F1 now too. It pleases me greatly to imagine how pissed off Raikkonen was that day.
posted by billiebee at 3:44 PM on June 25, 2014


No fucking way is Tim Cahill going to fold his arms for you.
posted by Jimbob at 4:48 PM on June 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


I got mad at Forlan for leaving hair in the shower drain. That's why.

*random World Cup soccer fan crossing arms and glaring at the camera*
posted by spinifex23 at 6:56 PM on June 25, 2014


These funny or die gifs are the best... Scroll down for the crossing arms one.... It's special.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 8:07 PM on June 25, 2014


These funny or die gifs are the best... Scroll down for the crossing arms one.... It's special.

That's from the Jimmy Kimmel sketch linked above.
Also, not all of these are from this world cup. When did Funny Or Die turn into buzzfeed?
posted by inigo2 at 5:11 AM on June 26, 2014


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