Gentle people with flowers in their hair

August 5, 2014 6:49 PM

Flower Beards. Fuck Yeah Flower Beards! Street Test: "I’m getting a lot more eye contact than I usually do." Will It Beard?
posted by We had a deal, Kyle (45 comments total)

(Note there is more Will It Beard behind the teeny-tiny "next" chevron at the bottom of the page.)
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 6:49 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

So... not only do these kids need to stay off my lawn, they also need to get out of my flower garden.
posted by desjardins at 6:54 PM on August 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

This bothers me a lot, not because of how twee it is but because it looks like plants have taken root in his face, which is horrifying. Like, that's what happens when you're a mouldering corpse but not before then.

If there were some way to mitigate this effect, it would be totally chill for this to become a trend. Flowers are nice.
posted by vogon_poet at 6:54 PM on August 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

I can see this being a look for Milk or Mathu Andersen.
posted by en forme de poire at 6:58 PM on August 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

This is what happens when your druid rolls a 18 in wisdom, but a 3 in charisma.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:58 PM on August 5, 2014 [32 favorites]

Awww, Lil' Otesánek's growin' up!
posted by mannequito at 7:12 PM on August 5, 2014 [5 favorites]

I prefer the bluebirds of healing myself.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:18 PM on August 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm with vogon_poet: I have an instant revulsion to these photos, they remind me of the second episode in season one of Hannibal, where the victims have mushrooms growing out of them (wiki page).

OTOH, the flowers are lovely and I admire the professional arragement.... cognitive dissonance ahoy
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:18 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

This does not need to be a thing.

As opposed to, this needs to not be a thing, cuz get your freak on, whatever
posted by wallabear at 7:23 PM on August 5, 2014

I don't think this is a real thing.
posted by clockzero at 7:24 PM on August 5, 2014

This guy has the right idea.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:25 PM on August 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

eeeeeeeee he looks like Mr Twit!
posted by phunniemee at 7:31 PM on August 5, 2014

Two cultural things I don't get: zombies and messing around with beards.
posted by harrietthespy at 7:39 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

FUCK NO flower beards.

I really want to like these, and I appreciate the artistry, but there's just something terrifying about them.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:03 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Nope. Nope. Nope.
posted by clvrmnky at 8:04 PM on August 5, 2014

Someone at work emailed a link to a flower beard article to all the bearded men in my office (me included) and suggested a flower beard contest. She was met with both resounding silence and vociferous "NO"s.
posted by zompus at 8:07 PM on August 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Obligatory Bill Murray
posted by drivelmeister at 8:08 PM on August 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

I am unashamed to be totally down with the flower beards (and I am not really a fan of beards in general). Hilarious, but also just works for me; if you're going to grow the face fur then yes, decorate it, why not? It doesn't look freaky to me - the flowers & greenery work fine - I dunno, aesthetically it's all fine to me. It's a little silly, sure, but not repellent or weird or twee.

Will It Beard? is beyond awesome. BEYOND. That Tumblr alone is worth the price of admission. Check out the beard + Mr. Potato Head /+ bubbles /+ monkeys /+ pocky /+ bows /+ flame /+ toothpicks.

This post made my night (and I shared it on Facebook in the hopes it inspires one of my epically bearded friends to stage some beard + stuff shots).
posted by flex at 8:21 PM on August 5, 2014 [8 favorites]

But I thought it was hipster molting season? Is this a new stage in their life-cycle?
posted by BungaDunga at 8:22 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

"But how can I look even more twee and ridiculous?" He asked himself, then found his gaze settling on his organic garden with hand-curated flowers grown from old-growth vintage seeds. Yes, that would do nicely.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 8:37 PM on August 5, 2014 [9 favorites]

The guys in my office are so susceptible to pressure that they all started growing beards within days of one another, they all cuffed their jeans at the same time, they all are doing that ice bucket challenge this weekend and shared their videos with one another.

I just have to figure out which one of them I can convince to start doing this.
posted by xingcat at 8:44 PM on August 5, 2014 [10 favorites]

Will It Beard? is beyond awesome. BEYOND.

Word. It's great.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:53 PM on August 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Spider Beards. Fuck Yeah Spider Beards! Street Test: "Oh my god what is on your face!?" What Is Wrong With You?
posted by ryoshu at 8:56 PM on August 5, 2014 [7 favorites]

Yes, but why stop with flowers? O beards, for that matter. Just transform your body into vegetable matter. It'll get you Buzzfeed hits...
posted by theweasel at 9:00 PM on August 5, 2014

Didn't we just have Peak Beard? Or is this the frantic decadent phase of the dying Pogonic Empire?
posted by Segundus at 9:02 PM on August 5, 2014

I think they're really missing out by not including ear grass to complete the look.
posted by kinnakeet at 9:05 PM on August 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

I legitimately know people who are dating people who have worn flower beards at events, and okay, sure, my lawn is now in your beard, just keep it out of the drinks.

HOWEVER THE MR POTATO BEARD IS AMAZING
posted by jetlagaddict at 9:21 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Someone could put flowers in my beard but only if she was cute and sweet, and even then there would have to be dinner involved.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:57 PM on August 5, 2014

I think Bill Murray and Michael Stipe are converging.

On topic: Okay, flex has swayed me: these beards rock.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 10:05 PM on August 5, 2014

I thought this would be like that scene in Lady Chatterley's Lover, but it wasn't.
posted by betweenthebars at 10:10 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Will it beard? Pshaw. MeFi's own eamondaly did Things My Beard Can Lift in 2009, culminating with a small, nonplussed child!

Stuff that flower in your beard.
posted by me3dia at 10:16 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Mod note: One comment deleted; we don't really do the "physical violence I'd like to inflict" sort of thing here.
posted by taz (staff) at 11:20 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I had beads braided into my epic beard a couple of weekends ago. Was camping and one of the women there said "oh, I need to braid beads into your beard" and I said "okay".

Wore 'em for 2 days, but they didn't survive the second night's sleepytime.

Shame, too, because I went to see The Polyphonic Spree that next evening, and it would have been great to have beads braided into my beard for that.
posted by hippybear at 11:45 PM on August 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I prefer flowers near beards.
posted by BinGregory at 12:02 AM on August 6, 2014

It's like punk never happened.
posted by Decani at 12:06 AM on August 6, 2014 [4 favorites]

So people think cordyceps is cool now?
posted by Pyrogenesis at 12:58 AM on August 6, 2014

I just wish I could grow a beard that was sufficiently robust that it would support a flower arrangement.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:26 AM on August 6, 2014

I had beads braided into my epic beard a couple of weekends ago.

Too excellent, I also want this.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:21 AM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

These guys ain't got nothing on my man Giuseppe.
posted by jammy at 5:38 AM on August 6, 2014

I only have a moustache. Will the flowers still work? What if they tickle my nose? Plz halp OK THKS BYE.
posted by math at 5:55 AM on August 6, 2014

Whatever. The pretzel-seller at my home renaissance fair has been doing this since *way* before it was cool.
posted by sourcequench at 6:09 AM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

That first guy in that first link has English ivy in his beard.

I know! And no flowers at all! OK, I guess the last photo could be considered flowers, but let's be a bit more botanically precise, shall we?

Besides, if he's not careful, he'll end up with an ivy drip.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:12 AM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Arcimboldo? I was thinking of Hibiscus.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:25 AM on August 6, 2014

With all those shirts buttoned to the very top, he sure looks a lot like the guy from The Bridge.
posted by hypersloth at 7:57 AM on August 6, 2014

When this popped up a week or so ago on my FB feed, all I could think of was how it would be great to take a picture of a dude with a flower beard and a dude with a bee beard making out.
posted by klangklangston at 8:53 AM on August 6, 2014 [9 favorites]