WarKitteh

August 9, 2014 10:30 PM

How to Use Your Cat to Hack Your Neighbor’s Wi-Fi.
posted by homunculus (57 comments total)

I'm not quite following the premise: Wouldn't it have been easier to just toss this device up onto his car's dashboard and tootle around the neighborhood a bit? Or, hell, stash it in his shirt pocket and go out and get a bit of fresh air?

Is this one of those things I'd need to have a cat to understand?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:53 PM on August 9, 2014

I believe the presentation was meant to be humorous, but at the same time point out that the technology needed to perform such a task can now be shrunk down to cat-collar size.
posted by JoeZydeco at 11:00 PM on August 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

From the article, 4 paragraphs in:

Despite the title of his DefCon talk—”How To Weaponize Your Pets”–Bransfield admits WarKitteh doesn’t represent a substantial security threat. Rather, it’s the sort of goofy hack designed to entertain the con’s hacker audience.
posted by sbutler at 11:00 PM on August 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

8 Ways to Prepare Your Pets for War
posted by homunculus at 11:08 PM on August 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

OMG, I finally have a use for my cats!
posted by sfkiddo at 11:19 PM on August 9, 2014 [5 favorites]

Also, best product name evah!
posted by sfkiddo at 11:21 PM on August 9, 2014

RICK

RICK


I FOUND US SO MUCH FREE WIFI RICK


LIKE HALF THE NEIGHBORHOOD. WIDE OPEN.


ALSO FOUR PEOPLE HAVE CALLED THEIR NETWORKS "PRETTY FLY FOR A WIFI"
posted by louche mustachio at 11:23 PM on August 9, 2014 [108 favorites]

Wardriving is so last millennium, Greg_Ace. Cats are where it's at now!
posted by Hermione Granger at 11:23 PM on August 9, 2014

also this reminds me of the time my dad took me wardriving like maybe 10 years ago and we started in our little suburban neighborhood where it's mostly old white people and the selection of unprotected wifi network names included: The Ghetto, Dickweed, Pimpjuice, and Fuck You This Is My Wifi Bitch. my dad and I were very, very pleased with our findings.
posted by Hermione Granger at 11:25 PM on August 9, 2014 [24 favorites]

My next cat will be named Surveillance Van 2.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 11:33 PM on August 9, 2014 [14 favorites]

According to the last visit to the vet, my cat's name should be It Hurts When IP.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:39 PM on August 9, 2014 [21 favorites]

Every article should include the quote

“That cat still owes me a phone.”

posted by blueberry at 11:41 PM on August 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

ALSO FOUR PEOPLE HAVE CALLED THEIR NETWORKS "PRETTY FLY FOR A WIFI"

It's interesting (and a bit creepy) that there's one in my neighborhood named that. (I just looked.) Where's it from?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:47 PM on August 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

I don't know, so I'm gonna say Reddit.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:52 PM on August 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

Wouldn't it have been easier to just

ha ha only serious is an ingrained bit of hacker culture, Greg.
posted by dhartung at 11:52 PM on August 9, 2014 [3 favorites]

ALSO FOUR PEOPLE HAVE CALLED THEIR NETWORKS "PRETTY FLY FOR A WIFI"

It's interesting (and a bit creepy) that there's one in my neighborhood named that. (I just looked.) Where's it from?

Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 11:55 PM on August 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

_WIRELESS NETWORK CONNECTIONS_
________________________________
Show available networks
------------------------

TheRedDot

LETMEOUTLETMEINLETMEOUTLETMEIN

Iknockeryourrouteronthefloor

PetMeDontTouchMe

IP in your shoes

ThinkOutsideTheBox

I watch you fuck and you don't care
posted by louche mustachio at 11:58 PM on August 9, 2014 [18 favorites]

I watch you fuck and you don't care

Previously.
posted by homunculus at 12:22 AM on August 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

In the 1980s, hackers used a technique called “wardialing,” cycling through numbers with their modems to find unprotected computers far across the internet.

Uhh, really, WiRED?
posted by unmake at 12:58 AM on August 10, 2014 [5 favorites]

There's a Pretty Fly for a Wifi here too. As well as multiple WEP access points. And open access points from the city and internet ISPs that work so badly(maybe 0.0001 megabit if you can stay connected) that they serve as advertising only.
posted by Yowser at 1:17 AM on August 10, 2014

My cat has his own laptop. I think he built it out of parts in my garage (and probably from neighbours' garages as well). I can't tell what's on it because he boots TAILS, swallowing the boot drive on shutdown and hacking it up again when he wants to use Tor.

He saw me open an Incognito tab in Chrome once. He looked...disappointed, I guess.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:23 AM on August 10, 2014 [13 favorites]

Yeah you all think it is funny till kitteh maxes out your credit breaks up with your lover and converts your net worth into tuna.
posted by vrakatar at 1:23 AM on August 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh, and for those that want to play along at home, the free Windows program is inSSIDer Home 3.1.2.1 or earlier version.
posted by Yowser at 1:24 AM on August 10, 2014

My neck of the woods also has the Mean Girls version:"CantJustAskPeopleWhyTheyreWiFi"
posted by Yowser at 1:27 AM on August 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

what's wrong with that line?

the word "internet".
posted by cj_ at 1:28 AM on August 10, 2014

Wouldn't it have been easier to just toss this device up onto his car's dashboard and tootle around the neighborhood a bit? Or, hell, stash it in his shirt pocket and go out and get a bit of fresh air?

Cats go places people can't. Like if I wandered into my neighbour's back yard and sat on their windowsill there would be questions, but my cat does it all the time. Depending on your neighbourhood's layout, a cat might be able to get a lot closer to other people's houses then you or your car.

Plus, as a cat owner, it's kind of fun to think about where my cat goes and what it sees along the way. This is an extension of that I think. I'd totally put a collar like this on one of my cats at least once.
posted by shelleycat at 1:44 AM on August 10, 2014 [5 favorites]

How to Use Your Cat to Hack Your Neighbor’s Wi-Fi Make Your Tech Hack Go Viral
posted by iotic at 1:49 AM on August 10, 2014

Yet another reason to trap all the garden and sandbox shitting bastards that come into one's yard.
posted by Mitheral at 2:02 AM on August 10, 2014

I lived in an apartment that had a fire escape outside the kitchen window, which I left open.
My cat would hop outside and I thought that was great: my cat could enjoy the outdoors without any of the normal city outdoor perils.
Until she started returning home with prizes in her mouth: folded bills, jewelry, and big hunks of raw fish.
I realized she was ascending the fire escape, entering my upstairs neighbors apartments and stealing whatever she could get her mouth around.

My cat was a cat burglar.

I wedged a screen in the window and kept my mouth shut.
posted by Pudhoho at 2:18 AM on August 10, 2014 [29 favorites]

If you hack your cat, and your cat hacks your neighbor, and your neighbor is reading this thread, that's one Metafilter Point, yes it is.
posted by mannequito at 3:04 AM on August 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

If you hack your cat you are supernatural which is impossible and your cat has hacked you.
posted by Pudhoho at 3:15 AM on August 10, 2014

My cat just hacked.... something.




On the rug, of course.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:48 AM on August 10, 2014 [13 favorites]

He killed a mouse, whose carcass he thoughtfully brought home to his octogenarian owner, Nancy.

That's a most impressive cat.

When mine used to go outside they'd return with half-dead birds and drop them at my feet.

My cats are idiots.
posted by kinetic at 5:01 AM on August 10, 2014

I live in a troubled urban community, and the most creative router name is ILOVEMYWIFI.

In Park Slope, I remember hearing that some router was named ANALLUBEFORU or some such thing and people being upset.

In sum, come to beautiful Upper Darby/West Philadelphia, where people are not stupidly creative about their routers and also the cats are safest inside.
posted by angrycat at 5:07 AM on August 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

Best name that I can detect from my house is Bill Wi the Science Fi. I like that we're not the only nerds in our neighbourhood.
posted by arcticseal at 5:46 AM on August 10, 2014 [8 favorites]

I'd say the POTS is Heirloom Internet.
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:03 AM on August 10, 2014

Why is it that when this guy puts a tiny warwalking setup on the cat, the cat is okay with it, but when I make a labradoodle a Tron outfit, rather than fighting for the users with his identity disc, he just rips it off and chews up expensive EL wire?
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:05 AM on August 10, 2014 [10 favorites]

Beefheart fan in da hood: Nice Streams For Crow
posted by Devonian at 6:07 AM on August 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

The Internet: Being wardialed since the mid-80s.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:31 AM on August 10, 2014

I believe this is why the Ministry of Housinge invested in all those Cat Detector Vans.
posted by briank at 6:49 AM on August 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

when I make a labradoodle a Tron outfit, rather than fighting for the users with his identity disc, he just rips it off and chews up expensive EL wire?

Should have made the outfit red. Dogs respond to a Master Control Program.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:01 AM on August 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

Proof that cats can do just about anything except give a shit about you when they don't need something.
posted by tommasz at 7:55 AM on August 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

Not true. My dad had a stomach bug recently that kept him in bed for a few days, and his cat who normally spends the whole day outside insisted on being inside curled up on the bed with him while he was recuperating.
posted by homunculus at 9:54 AM on August 10, 2014 [7 favorites]

No fun router names in my boring neighbourhood. Lots of "Bell7775" (Bell = one of the big Canadian ISPs) and one "HP-Print-91-Photosmart". I used to have a neighbour with "Wifi when you can take the train" which I thought was clever. I called ours skynet.
posted by quaking fajita at 10:28 AM on August 10, 2014

Yes, when cats stay closely by very ill loved ones it's called Guarding The Potential Food.
posted by elizardbits at 10:29 AM on August 10, 2014 [6 favorites]

Our wifi network is "funiculas foras", which my husband tells me translates to something like "wireless tubes".
posted by Night_owl at 11:19 AM on August 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

Ours has been "SatelliteOfLove" for as long as we've had wi-fi.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:01 PM on August 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

The CIA tried to use a trained cat to spy on the KGB during the Cold War
posted by humanfont at 1:22 PM on August 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

Best name that I can detect from my house is Bill Wi the Science Fi. I like that we're not the only nerds in our neighbourhood.

We're down the street from 'Abraham Linksys.'
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:27 PM on August 10, 2014 [7 favorites]

While waiting for a train at Canterbury West, UK, it would always amuse me to open up the wifi connect and see "FUCK OFF MY WIRELESS" as an option
posted by iotic at 1:36 PM on August 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

Is this one of those things I'd need to have a cat to understand?
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:53 AM on August 10

Look at it less an exercise of practicality. There's a certain poetry in weaponizing your pet.
posted by four panels at 2:47 PM on August 10, 2014

There are some good cat-cam videos on Youtube! There's even a parody. A friend bought one, and we were mesmerized by what her cat did all day (which was, really, just normal cat stuff).
posted by pony707 at 4:26 PM on August 10, 2014 [2 favorites]

The collection of wifi names in my old neighborhood included one called "BestCatInTheWorld" and we considered that to be entirely too untrue a name since our cat was clearly the best, so when our house got a new wireless router we named it "ButOurCatIsBetter". I don't know if that house saw us on their list cause they never changed their name or retaliated or anything, but it was kinda comforting to know that for a year or so there was a lovely little passive-aggressive wifi cat bragging fight going on for anyone who cared to scan the neighborhood to see.
posted by Spatch at 8:17 PM on August 10, 2014 [5 favorites]

When mine used to go outside they'd return with half-dead birds and drop them at my feet.
My cats are idiots.

They're not idiots; in fact, they think you are the idiot who doesn't know how to hunt and has to be brought half-dead prey to learn on. (A lot of cat behaviour can be explained by the fact that they see you as an incompetent kitten.)
posted by snakeling at 1:05 AM on August 11, 2014 [4 favorites]

I like to mix passive-aggressiveness with a hint of paranoia into my wifi names: parking_patrol, Neighborhoodwatch, thoughtpolice1, wearthebluedressitlooksbetter etc. That's because I live in a neighborhood with plenty of old people who are always trying to be up in my business.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 6:48 AM on August 11, 2014

We're down the street from 'Abraham Linksys.'

Hey, there's one of those in my building.

My neighborhood favorite, though, is probably "I Can Hear You Having Sex". Or "A Dolphin Humping A Unicorn". Or "shedoesntevengohere". It's really hard to decide.
posted by palomar at 8:46 AM on August 11, 2014

Our neighbors are very boring. We're the most exotically-named, at HouseofIPA. (Although the last time I had to re-login to something, I kept banging my head against what's-my-damn-password-again. "Honey! I thought the wifi password was HopsMafiaFTW but it's not. RuiningBeerForEveryoneElse doesn't work either. Help!")
posted by Lexica at 9:13 PM on August 12, 2014 [1 favorite]