eventually we will just start writing in hieroglyphs again

August 28, 2014 12:21 PM

classic first lines of novels... written in emoji [slslate]
posted by St. Peepsburg (34 comments total)

I got three, I suppose that is a warning, if one were needed, not to bother with emojis. Can anyone explain how an aubergine represents loins? Or a poo with eyes is Ish-?
posted by biffa at 12:29 PM on August 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I guess Mr Wickman assumes that Internet has no memory, otherwise he could at least have mentioned that he got the idea from this project (Library of Congress acquired a copy last year).
posted by effbot at 12:33 PM on August 28, 2014

I got all the ones that I actually knew; there are lots of novels out there that I've read that I don't actually know the first lines of, is my takeaway here.
posted by Shepherd at 12:38 PM on August 28, 2014

Yeah I was hoping for FISH+MAIL = Ishmael.

All I got was the old man and the sea, and Tolstoy.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:42 PM on August 28, 2014

biffa: think about the shape of the eggplant/aubergine.

I can't figure out the poo/Ish one either.
posted by curious nu at 12:44 PM on August 28, 2014

Ah, that Philip Jose Farmer classic, "The Wind Whales of Shitmail".
posted by Earthtopus at 12:46 PM on August 28, 2014 [17 favorites]

Suddenly cave paintings could be the most complex and meaningful literature ever.

Whoa.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:47 PM on August 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Although presumably this was what they were going for. ish.
posted by Earthtopus at 12:48 PM on August 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

"ish" is slang for "shit"
posted by sparklemotion at 12:48 PM on August 28, 2014

I got #1, #2, #4, #7, #8, #9, #10, and #12. I especially loved the Hundred Years of Solitude one.
posted by matildaben at 12:54 PM on August 28, 2014

ish = shit

I am officially Out of Touch with Kids These Days.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:55 PM on August 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I always thought of "ish" as part of "ish ta," which is the harsher or cruder form of "uff da!" known from Minnesota Scandinavian-American dialect (or "Scandahoovian" if you will). My Norwegian-Slovak-Minnesotan wife informs me of the difference between "uff da!" and "ish ta!" thusly:

"Uff da!" is when the farmer's gum falls out of his mouth and lands in the manure pile. "Ish ta!" is when he puts it back in his mouth.
posted by jonp72 at 1:05 PM on August 28, 2014

Legit confused old man here, but... how are emoji different than reg'lar ol' smileys?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:07 PM on August 28, 2014

This seems like a good place to recommend Xu Bing's Book from the Ground.
posted by DaDaDaDave at 1:07 PM on August 28, 2014

think about the shape of the eggplant/aubergine.

I've thought about it and either they have different shaped loins or different shaped aubergines where the quiz setter lives.
posted by biffa at 1:11 PM on August 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

> how are emoji different than reg'lar ol' smileys?

Smilies with a GUI.
posted by jfuller at 1:17 PM on August 28, 2014

I for one enjoyed this a lot. I think I did pretty good, I missed the ones I hadn't read but I was mad at myself for missing the Hundred Years Of Solitude one.
posted by bleep at 1:29 PM on August 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

but I was mad at myself for missing the Hundred Years Of Solitude one

Go easy on yourself, I hear it is very difficult in the original Spanish emoji.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:33 PM on August 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

😔🏃👞👎⛅️☔️
posted by bleep at 1:35 PM on August 28, 2014

Also seen in the children's fave, "It's a book"
posted by clvrmnky at 2:35 PM on August 28, 2014

"It was the best of times, it was the...blurst of times"?!
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:44 PM on August 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Loved this! Got most of the ones I've read and a few I haven't, which left me pleasantly surprised by how much general literature knowledge I've managed to absorb through osmosis. The Hundred Years of Solitude one was brilliant, and I'm sad I didn't figure it out on my own. I'm feeling all inspired to come up with other clever emoji puzzles and unleash them on my unsuspecting friends.
posted by Diagonalize at 2:46 PM on August 28, 2014

But they're not even applying consistent rules for translating into emojis. Some of them are actually an attempt to represent the words, others are trying for the general idea of the sentence, and others involve strange boggle-eyed piles of poo.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 3:21 PM on August 28, 2014

💝1️⃣👀
posted by Pre-Taped Call In Show at 3:25 PM on August 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Do you suppose they were trying to throw us off track by including short stories in their list of "11 Novels?" Or is that too much pedantry?
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:00 PM on August 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

"It was the best of times, it was the...blurst of times"?!

"Arr, I've got some customers. Call me back, Ishmael."
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 4:38 PM on August 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ish is slang for shit. See Kanye "It's obvi we the ish".
posted by FirstMateKate at 5:49 PM on August 28, 2014

Some of them are actually an attempt to represent the words, others are trying for the general idea of the sentence, and others involve strange boggle-eyed piles of poo.

Metafilter: some of them are actually...
posted by ambrosen at 5:57 PM on August 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I also got the books I've read, except 100 Years of Solitude. I think the opening line of that book isn't as famous QUA opening line as, say, Anna Karena's.
posted by subdee at 9:37 PM on August 28, 2014

too lazy to look up the unicode symbols but:

[squared ng] [squared cool] [left black arrow] [flexed biceps] [milky way] [see-no-evil monkey] [black sun with rays]
posted by subdee at 10:07 PM on August 28, 2014

I just realised I still haven't read Gravity's Rainbow. I think I've missed the window though. (I did read V. as a teen - I remember it being pretty rough going.)
posted by turbid dahlia at 1:36 AM on August 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have been waiting for this my whole life and didn't even know until now.
posted by angusiguess at 6:02 AM on August 29, 2014

ALSO HOW GOOD IS THE PHONETIC PUNNING ON #12!
posted by angusiguess at 6:04 AM on August 29, 2014

Whatever you guys, this had me squealing with joy.
posted by galvanized unicorn at 11:06 AM on August 29, 2014 [1 favorite]