Secretary of the Nerds
December 12, 2014 4:04 PM Subscribe
Ashton B. Carter, President Obama's new nominee for secretary of defence has the kind of epic nerd biography that makes you look twice:
"At Yale I ended up pursuing two entirely different majors – physics and medieval history. There was no relationship between them in my mind except that both fascinated me. I liked dusty archives, learning to decipher manuscripts in medieval script, and learning all the languages necessary to read the primary and secondary historical literature, especially Latin. I wrote a senior thesis on the use of Latin by contemporary monastic writers to describe the vibrant world of 12th century Flanders in which they lived. I also enjoyed English legal history and the foundations of the Common Law as established in the 11th through 13th centuries. I also did a lot of work on the hagiography of Saint Denis, patron saint of the French monarchy during its formative period in the 9th century.
"Physics was entirely different: clean and modern, logical and mathematical. I was lucky enough to be asked by a professor to assist him on an experiment in elementary particle physics at the then-new Fermilab outside of Chicago, home of the world’s largest particle accelerator. I would fly back and forth from New Haven to Chicago, feeling very serious and very important. We were involved in the search for the quark, a sub-atomic particle then only theorized. I eventually wrote my senior thesis, which was later published, on the “charmed quark.”
"At Yale I ended up pursuing two entirely different majors – physics and medieval history. There was no relationship between them in my mind except that both fascinated me. I liked dusty archives, learning to decipher manuscripts in medieval script, and learning all the languages necessary to read the primary and secondary historical literature, especially Latin. I wrote a senior thesis on the use of Latin by contemporary monastic writers to describe the vibrant world of 12th century Flanders in which they lived. I also enjoyed English legal history and the foundations of the Common Law as established in the 11th through 13th centuries. I also did a lot of work on the hagiography of Saint Denis, patron saint of the French monarchy during its formative period in the 9th century.
"Physics was entirely different: clean and modern, logical and mathematical. I was lucky enough to be asked by a professor to assist him on an experiment in elementary particle physics at the then-new Fermilab outside of Chicago, home of the world’s largest particle accelerator. I would fly back and forth from New Haven to Chicago, feeling very serious and very important. We were involved in the search for the quark, a sub-atomic particle then only theorized. I eventually wrote my senior thesis, which was later published, on the “charmed quark.”
Dude, where's my drone?
posted by Drinky Die at 4:25 PM on December 12, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by Drinky Die at 4:25 PM on December 12, 2014 [11 favorites]
I'm sorry, it's shallow, I know, but I keep reading this as "da fence."
posted by nevercalm at 4:25 PM on December 12, 2014
posted by nevercalm at 4:25 PM on December 12, 2014
Wait. I've seen this movie.
posted by spitbull at 4:35 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by spitbull at 4:35 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think the plan for the military is to bore people to death.
posted by 724A at 4:38 PM on December 12, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by 724A at 4:38 PM on December 12, 2014 [5 favorites]
God, he sounds like a fucking Blackford Oakes character.
posted by batfish at 4:49 PM on December 12, 2014
posted by batfish at 4:49 PM on December 12, 2014
Jealousy induced nerd rage is surging through my body.
posted by vorpal bunny at 5:00 PM on December 12, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by vorpal bunny at 5:00 PM on December 12, 2014 [5 favorites]
So this is what I was supposed to do with the MA in medieval history! Wish they'd told me before the great medieval history boom of the 90s failed to pan out.
(Would have failed the physics, though.)
posted by immlass at 5:03 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
(Would have failed the physics, though.)
posted by immlass at 5:03 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
This guy actually seems like kind of a hero. For example, Wikipedia says he "was instrumental in removing all nuclear weapons from the territories of Ukraine, Kazakhstan, and Belarus." Non-proliferation has been his most frequent role at Defense, which is a priority I can't argue with. The academic stuff is impressive, too.
Still, a Secretary of Defense would have to do a lot of unlikely stuff for me to trust them.
posted by grobstein at 5:40 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
Still, a Secretary of Defense would have to do a lot of unlikely stuff for me to trust them.
posted by grobstein at 5:40 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
Yeah, I'm sure Ukraine doesn't miss their nukes at all.
posted by Drinky Die at 5:42 PM on December 12, 2014 [12 favorites]
posted by Drinky Die at 5:42 PM on December 12, 2014 [12 favorites]
No, they do not since the last weapons were removed in 96'...TO RUSSIA! Then there is the whole Chernobyl thing.
Sam Nunn is a bit of a hero of mine.
IMO, would have made a great sec/def.
Denis...very cool and nerdy.
Great post.
posted by clavdivs at 6:08 PM on December 12, 2014
Sam Nunn is a bit of a hero of mine.
IMO, would have made a great sec/def.
Denis...very cool and nerdy.
Great post.
posted by clavdivs at 6:08 PM on December 12, 2014
His account of his career reminds me of a criticism of Tim Geithner's account of his own career, that I read in a review of Geithner's autobiography ... and I think.the critique applies here: basically that people like this love to describe their career paths in kind of naive, aww shucks terms, conveniently failing to mention the role of privilege and connections and giving the impression of everything just happening to fall into place for them.
posted by jayder at 6:12 PM on December 12, 2014 [25 favorites]
posted by jayder at 6:12 PM on December 12, 2014 [25 favorites]
Hes done a lot to prevent nuclear weapons being used over the past 25 years or so. Like, total commitment to them never being used, anywhere, on anyone. I happen to strongly agree with this stance but I wonder if that's not already a full time job. Interesting man though, we will see if he can bring some stability to the ideas of the Defense Dept.
posted by fshgrl at 6:12 PM on December 12, 2014
posted by fshgrl at 6:12 PM on December 12, 2014
My family and I have no desire to return to Washington any time soon. I have too many intellectual projects underway, not to mention two child rearing projects underway.Like most upper-class civil servants, this guy sees everything in life through the prism of projects and personal accomplishment. Which is fine, I suppose, but it makes his statements characterizing his accomplishments as fortunate come off as disingenuous. It's hard not to feel exasperated when you read statements like, "Fortunately, I was rescued from this dilemma by the awarding of a Rhodes scholarship." Yes, right, I'm sure that Rhodes scholarship just fell out of the sky.
posted by anewnadir at 6:14 PM on December 12, 2014 [11 favorites]
Yeah. The mayor of my city was a Rhodes scholar and has no power.
Sometimes, sky falls on you.
posted by clavdivs at 6:28 PM on December 12, 2014
Sometimes, sky falls on you.
posted by clavdivs at 6:28 PM on December 12, 2014
Cheney, Rumsfeld, Panetta, Gates, Weinberger, Carlucci.
This Cabinet position begs for someone who is intelligent but who also has humility. I say we dig up and reconstitute Mr. Rogers*, much as I hate to disturb his peace.
*I call for this often though.
I hope if he is confirmed that it is a wise appointment/confirmation. I don't want an idiot of course but I am equally scared of smart people and ambitious people in that position and I'm most scared of smart ambitious people.
posted by vapidave at 7:19 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
This Cabinet position begs for someone who is intelligent but who also has humility. I say we dig up and reconstitute Mr. Rogers*, much as I hate to disturb his peace.
*I call for this often though.
I hope if he is confirmed that it is a wise appointment/confirmation. I don't want an idiot of course but I am equally scared of smart people and ambitious people in that position and I'm most scared of smart ambitious people.
posted by vapidave at 7:19 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
This man, the nominee for Secretary of Defense of the United States of America, he is just like me. I was such a nerd in college. This man, the nominee for the executive office of the Department of Defense, charged with coordinating all agencies and functions of the government concerned directly with national security and the United States Armed Forces, knows what it's like to be torn between two areas of study, and has his fair share of quirks - or should I say, quarks!
posted by gorbweaver at 7:45 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by gorbweaver at 7:45 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
Wikipedia says he "was instrumental in removing all nuclear weapons from the territories of Ukraine, Kazakhstan, and Belarus."
So, short-sighted and unimaginative. Knows a ton about history, but very little about how it applies to nation states and their interactions. Tends to get caught flat-footed.
Swell.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:02 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
So, short-sighted and unimaginative. Knows a ton about history, but very little about how it applies to nation states and their interactions. Tends to get caught flat-footed.
Swell.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:02 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm going to guess he knows the difference between a glaive-guisarme and an ear-spoon.
posted by SPrintF at 9:14 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 9:14 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
Mustn't forget the Quarks.
posted by clavdivs at 9:20 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 9:20 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
Finally! A real Whiz Kid in charge of the DoD!
I can't wait to see how his undergraduate education in medieval history informs his decisions to bomb brown people in faraway lands.
posted by Dipped Pretzels at 10:27 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
I can't wait to see how his undergraduate education in medieval history informs his decisions to bomb brown people in faraway lands.
posted by Dipped Pretzels at 10:27 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
Nice profile, but I doubt he's going to be confirmed. Next year, it's almost certain that the Republicans will refuse to appoint anyone to any cabinet position in the next two years no matter how critical it is.
posted by happyroach at 10:32 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by happyroach at 10:32 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
As bonus, go to the DOD website and click
Today in DOD.
posted by clavdivs at 10:48 PM on December 12, 2014
Today in DOD.
posted by clavdivs at 10:48 PM on December 12, 2014
I can't wait to see how his undergraduate education in medieval history informs his decisions to bomb brown people in faraway lands.
posted by Dipped Pretzels
History doesn't work that way.
posted by clavdivs at 11:11 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
Well, this appointment pretty much confirms the hypothesis concerning Barack Hussein Obama's agenda being primarily to establish a New World Caliphate.
Ashton B. Carter, engaging in simultaneous academic explorations into physics and medieval history, would be researching medieval physics, thus, the scientists of the medieval times. Who were these revered academics, translating ancient Latin and Greek texts while the Western Europeans were getting drunk and throwing their ur-KFC chicken bones onto the dirt floors of their pathetic shacks?
Why, Muslims!
posted by kozad at 11:16 PM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
Ashton B. Carter, engaging in simultaneous academic explorations into physics and medieval history, would be researching medieval physics, thus, the scientists of the medieval times. Who were these revered academics, translating ancient Latin and Greek texts while the Western Europeans were getting drunk and throwing their ur-KFC chicken bones onto the dirt floors of their pathetic shacks?
Why, Muslims!
posted by kozad at 11:16 PM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
You phrased your question wrong. Even in a historical frame of reference. He cannot bomb people now, he doesn't have that power.
Also you project, you assume his historical research will equate to bombing. Since you don't post much I'll assume it is outrage filter like the poster with the chicken bone analogy.
I love metafilter because all views can be expressed, even if its wrong.
Personally, I would worry if he got angry on to much Turkish coffee thus affecting his precious bodily fluids.
posted by clavdivs at 11:25 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
Also you project, you assume his historical research will equate to bombing. Since you don't post much I'll assume it is outrage filter like the poster with the chicken bone analogy.
I love metafilter because all views can be expressed, even if its wrong.
Personally, I would worry if he got angry on to much Turkish coffee thus affecting his precious bodily fluids.
posted by clavdivs at 11:25 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
So, short-sighted and unimaginative. Knows a ton about history, but very little about how it applies to nation states and their interactions. Tends to get caught flat-footed.
This is a frankly snide, ridiculous and ignorant assertion - based on a level of knowledge literally no one in the world at the time possessed.
The miracle you are living through of a relatively stable Soviet collapse has blinded you, completely it seems, to the myriad ways it could have gone terribly, terribly, terribly wrong (and may still, but that's another discussion).
posted by smoke at 12:13 AM on December 13, 2014 [9 favorites]
This is a frankly snide, ridiculous and ignorant assertion - based on a level of knowledge literally no one in the world at the time possessed.
The miracle you are living through of a relatively stable Soviet collapse has blinded you, completely it seems, to the myriad ways it could have gone terribly, terribly, terribly wrong (and may still, but that's another discussion).
posted by smoke at 12:13 AM on December 13, 2014 [9 favorites]
This is also the guy who called Edward Snowden a "cyber Pearl Harbor", you know, don't get blinded by the nerd credentials or anything. It's clear what he's here for, and it's not to rock the boat.
posted by naju at 1:48 AM on December 13, 2014 [8 favorites]
posted by naju at 1:48 AM on December 13, 2014 [8 favorites]
"My family and I have no desire to return to Washington any time soon. I have too many intellectual projects underway, not to mention two child rearing projects underway."
anewnadir: Like most upper-class civil servants, this guy sees everything in life through the prism of projects and personal accomplishment.
Or maybe it was a throw away joke line that tells us very little about him, even viewed through the internet's uncanny ability to allow all of us to determine someone's entire personality and motivation from a single sentence. Well done for floating it on a fascinating and unsubstantiated generalisation too.
posted by biffa at 1:55 AM on December 13, 2014 [10 favorites]
anewnadir: Like most upper-class civil servants, this guy sees everything in life through the prism of projects and personal accomplishment.
Or maybe it was a throw away joke line that tells us very little about him, even viewed through the internet's uncanny ability to allow all of us to determine someone's entire personality and motivation from a single sentence. Well done for floating it on a fascinating and unsubstantiated generalisation too.
posted by biffa at 1:55 AM on December 13, 2014 [10 favorites]
A different view: "The Military-Industrial Complex Gets Its Man"
posted by CincyBlues at 5:33 AM on December 13, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by CincyBlues at 5:33 AM on December 13, 2014 [5 favorites]
I now have "rock the boat, rock the boat baby" in head.
See, Ashton is following orders to bash snowdon because he is a xx agent, yes.
posted by clavdivs at 8:02 AM on December 13, 2014
See, Ashton is following orders to bash snowdon because he is a xx agent, yes.
posted by clavdivs at 8:02 AM on December 13, 2014
Perhaps one starts at the bottom and ends up at the TOP.
posted by clavdivs at 12:45 PM on December 13, 2014
posted by clavdivs at 12:45 PM on December 13, 2014
Or maybe it was a throw away joke line that tells us very little about him, even viewed through the internet's uncanny ability to allow all of us to determine someone's entire personality and motivation from a single sentence. Well done for floating it on a fascinating and unsubstantiated generalisation too.Okay, here are some more sentences for you:
"I was lucky enough to be asked by a professor to assist him on an experiment in elementary particle physics at the then-new Fermilab outside of Chicago, home of the world’s largest particle accelerator."
"My family and I have no desire to return to Washington any time soon. I have too many intellectual projects underway, not to mention two child rearing projects underway."
I'm not criticizing this guy's personality, which seems perfectly suited to the position he's chosen to occupy (or been chosen to occupy, as he would likely put it). I am criticizing his writing style, which conveys a false modesty.
posted by anewnadir at 4:52 PM on December 13, 2014
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That is all.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:23 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]