Squirrels? That's where I'm a Viking!
March 3, 2015 2:16 PM Subscribe
Common knowledge about squirrels is that they are basically furry rats. Yes, they are adorable in an amnesiac sort of way, what with their inability to remember where they buried their nuts, but the modern squirrel is not typically considered a manifestation of anything monstrous. Interestingly, much like Coca-Cola and Pop Rocks, if you combine Viking aesthetics with squirrels, you produce a malevolent little rodent called Ratatoskr (“Drill Tooth” in Old Norse) that spends his days spreading malicious gossip and trying to start a fight between the eagle at the top of the World Tree Yggdrasil and the angry Wyrm beneath called Níðhöggr, generally with phrases like, “Did you hear what he said about your mother?”
I'm betting that the author has never had them in their attic.
Or garage, or bird feeder, or tomato garden, or....
posted by gimonca at 2:21 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
Or garage, or bird feeder, or tomato garden, or....
posted by gimonca at 2:21 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
I have never been more proud to carry the Viking gene.
This is the best, and I love that some Native American tribes had similar traditions. Let's face it: the squirrel nation are canny basta --- I probably should install some curtains.
posted by julen at 2:23 PM on March 3, 2015
This is the best, and I love that some Native American tribes had similar traditions. Let's face it: the squirrel nation are canny basta --- I probably should install some curtains.
posted by julen at 2:23 PM on March 3, 2015
They taste good, though. Bit gamey, but nice.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:39 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:39 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
I nailed a bird feeder to the side of my shed. We positioned it so that we'd be able to see the birds using it from our dining room table. The feeder looked like a small house. Well, the squirrels found out about it and went to town on the feeder, eating all the seeds and a good chunk of the feeder as well, making the house look like something out of the walking dead. It's still nailed to the shed, but now it only serves as a reminder of my folly.
Even still, I don't really mind the squirrels. Even my wife, who gets angry when they dig up her bulbs, has a favourable impression of them on the whole. This may be because they are so much better than the raccoons, who find a way into our garbage no matter what we do and have really loud fights in the backyard.
I have family friends who are in the process of domesticating / being domesticated by their local squirrels. They used to leave nuts out for them and would watch from the window as they came to eat. I think now they are at the point where the squirrels are eating from their hands. They also bake cookies for the squirrels, which apparently are very appreciated as well.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:41 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
Even still, I don't really mind the squirrels. Even my wife, who gets angry when they dig up her bulbs, has a favourable impression of them on the whole. This may be because they are so much better than the raccoons, who find a way into our garbage no matter what we do and have really loud fights in the backyard.
I have family friends who are in the process of domesticating / being domesticated by their local squirrels. They used to leave nuts out for them and would watch from the window as they came to eat. I think now they are at the point where the squirrels are eating from their hands. They also bake cookies for the squirrels, which apparently are very appreciated as well.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:41 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
Whenever I get annoyed with squirrels or other wildlife for getting into bird feeders and trash, I think about how I would feel if I had to live outdoors in the winter and find my own food.
I'd be in my trash cans too.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 2:51 PM on March 3, 2015 [9 favorites]
I'd be in my trash cans too.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 2:51 PM on March 3, 2015 [9 favorites]
Vikings? That's when I'm a squirrel!
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:57 PM on March 3, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:57 PM on March 3, 2015 [6 favorites]
In the part about Meeko, the squirrel from the myths of several Native American tribes, the entry quotes William Long:
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:24 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
When you have listened to Meeko’s scolding for a season, and have seen him going from nest to nest after innocent fledglings; or creeping into the den of his big cousin, the beautiful gray squirrel... [emph. mine]But this raises the question, what kind of squirrel is Meeko, if he's smaller than the gray squirrel? As a resident of the eastern half of the US, the gray squirrel is the one I'm familiar with, and is my mental default image when I think "squirrel." The only other type I'm familiar with in the wild is the black squirrel, which I've seen in northerly parts of the eastern US and parts of Canada, but the internet tells me that's just a variation within the same species as the gray squirrel, and in any case they appear to be about the same size as the gray squirrels I see elsewhere. So what kind of squirrel is Meeko?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:24 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
But this raises the question, what kind of squirrel is Meeko, if he's smaller than the gray squirrel?
I'm guessing he's a red squirrel.
posted by junco at 3:28 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'm guessing he's a red squirrel.
posted by junco at 3:28 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
Squirrels are affable dicks. They're nuisances, they're occasionally destructive-- but they're so goddamn charming. I can't tell you the number of times some member of my family has called the rest of us to the window to watch a squirrel. And I've never been disappointed unless the squirrel had left before I got there.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:44 PM on March 3, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:44 PM on March 3, 2015 [5 favorites]
In mosk's video, a mother and son hunt squirrels in the woods... with shotguns. Talk about overkill.
posted by rustcrumb at 3:52 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by rustcrumb at 3:52 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
My old workplace had a giant old squirrel that was not impressed with people in the least. He had one white eye with a visible scar over it like some Secret of NIMH shit. He would pop up out of the trash can next to the door when you walked out just to chill out on the rim and slowly gnaw on whatever sunflower seed or human femur he had found while holding your gaze as you walked past. With the white eye. We called him Goro.
posted by SharkParty at 3:57 PM on March 3, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by SharkParty at 3:57 PM on March 3, 2015 [8 favorites]
A rat will scratch you. A squirrel will cut you up.
posted by srboisvert at 4:01 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by srboisvert at 4:01 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
Even my wife, who gets angry when they dig up her bulbs, has a favourable impression of them on the whole.
Part of the springtime entertainment at House the Original involved observing the results of Gardening by Squirrel. They moved a number of perennials around the yard, occasionally burying them in really bizarre locations. ("How did that get in the middle of the lawn?!") This would have been annoying if I were a serious gardener, but I was generally amused by the whole thing.
posted by thomas j wise at 4:05 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
Part of the springtime entertainment at House the Original involved observing the results of Gardening by Squirrel. They moved a number of perennials around the yard, occasionally burying them in really bizarre locations. ("How did that get in the middle of the lawn?!") This would have been annoying if I were a serious gardener, but I was generally amused by the whole thing.
posted by thomas j wise at 4:05 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
Ratatosk to my Planescape peeps.
posted by triage_lazarus at 4:30 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by triage_lazarus at 4:30 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
My college was host to a population of giant, obese squirrels who didn't give a shit about anyone or anything. They liked to perch in the big tree in the middle of the quad and throw nuts at anyone who dared walk by.
A friend told me she once saw a squirrel run by with something in its mouth, and when she got closer she saw it was the severed head of another squirrel.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:32 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
A friend told me she once saw a squirrel run by with something in its mouth, and when she got closer she saw it was the severed head of another squirrel.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:32 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
rustcrumb: "In mosk's video, a mother and son hunt squirrels in the woods... with shotguns. Talk about overkill."
Pretty typical to hunt squirrels with a small shotgun like a .410.
posted by Mitheral at 4:33 PM on March 3, 2015
Pretty typical to hunt squirrels with a small shotgun like a .410.
posted by Mitheral at 4:33 PM on March 3, 2015
I love squirrels! One of my favorite things is to have a squirrel sitting on my shoulders, eating a nut...these guys are smart, friendly, playful, and such wonderful little companions. When we first rescued a baby who'd fallen from his nest, it was a learning process to find out how to keep him alive, but since then, we've managed to share our time with a couple of others, and they really are amazing little creatures. Here's a video I made of our first baby squirrel (Zippy). (More squirrel fun on my youtube page)
posted by newfers at 4:35 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by newfers at 4:35 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
Neil Price (among others) has talked about the idea of a circumpolar world in his amazing book The Viking Way. One of its main ideas is that we've neglected the ways in which Norse mythology has major parallels with the Saami, Siberian tribes, Inuit tribes, etc. (And of course the parallel of poles that run between the worlds.)
posted by Hypatia at 4:38 PM on March 3, 2015
posted by Hypatia at 4:38 PM on March 3, 2015
If my dog is a viking then he must HATE malicious gossip.
posted by montaigneisright at 4:41 PM on March 3, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by montaigneisright at 4:41 PM on March 3, 2015 [5 favorites]
Picture of a squirrel hanging out on the remains of my bird feeder.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 4:50 PM on March 3, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 4:50 PM on March 3, 2015 [11 favorites]
On college I helped with a comedy horror short about satanic squirrels. It was inspired by a true story (reported in the newspaper, even). Those fuckers are EVIL.
posted by infinitewindow at 5:00 PM on March 3, 2015
posted by infinitewindow at 5:00 PM on March 3, 2015
My mother used to have a bird feeder out in the backyard.... then she surrendered to reality, and admitted it was --- at least according to THEM --- a squirrel feeder.
Her favorite tree-rat was the one who, when the feeder was empty (or at least empty of his personal favorite noms) would come sit on the windowsill, and bang empty peanut shells on the glass until someone came out to refill 'his' feeder.
posted by easily confused at 6:28 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
Her favorite tree-rat was the one who, when the feeder was empty (or at least empty of his personal favorite noms) would come sit on the windowsill, and bang empty peanut shells on the glass until someone came out to refill 'his' feeder.
posted by easily confused at 6:28 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
The squirrels will not allow me to have rosemary or thyme. I've no idea why.
But there is one that will come up to the window whenever my daughter is over and scratch on it until she feeds him.
I think I'll just keeping buying herbs.
posted by bh at 8:05 PM on March 3, 2015
But there is one that will come up to the window whenever my daughter is over and scratch on it until she feeds him.
I think I'll just keeping buying herbs.
posted by bh at 8:05 PM on March 3, 2015
I used to live in Madison WI. The grey squirrels there are as big as cats and have no fear. The ones on the UW campus regularly sorted through people's backpacks for snacks. I lived in an apartment that was part of an old house and had a great porch where my front door was located. One day I was taking out the garbage to the cans around the back of the building. So I walk out the front door and out the front door up a tree is this big ass squirrel screeching at me. So I yelled back at him to shut up. I walked around the back, when I came back it was still there. So I stood under the tree and yelled at it. It started to come down the tree, ran down to the side walk and screeched up at me. I stepped toward it and it ran to another tree and up, and started going off at me again. So I stood under the tree and harassed it some more. Because I am an idiot. Squirrel turns around and pees at me! I jumped back just in time. Don't mess with squirrel.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 8:15 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 8:15 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]
Squirrels are awesome. They're so awesome they even have threesomes. A LOT.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:12 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:12 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is there a way that Ratatoskr could be worked into a comic, movie or TV series teaming up Thor and Squirrel Girl? Otherwise, I'm thinking Marvel may be leaving some money on the table there.
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 1:38 AM on March 4, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 1:38 AM on March 4, 2015 [3 favorites]
Yes, they are adorable in an amnesiac sort of way, what with their inability to remember where they buried their nuts...
If you had ever experienced this inability, I doubt that the word adorable would appear in your conversation about it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:50 AM on March 4, 2015
If you had ever experienced this inability, I doubt that the word adorable would appear in your conversation about it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:50 AM on March 4, 2015
I forgot to mention that they used to try to give birth control to squirrels in my area. They set out traps under every tree. It was incredibly depressing to walk by a screaming squirrel being operated on, and I was so thrilled when I'd walk by the traps and see the squirrels rushing in, grabbing a nut and making it out of the trap uncaught.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:47 AM on March 4, 2015
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:47 AM on March 4, 2015
We've got a cottontail rabbit living in the bramble in the backyard and a fat squirrel living in front. My wife has named them Captain Jack and Ianto. I going to lobby to change the squirrel's name to Ragnar Lothbrok.
posted by Ber at 6:25 AM on March 4, 2015
posted by Ber at 6:25 AM on March 4, 2015
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I'm betting that the author has never had them in their attic.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 2:19 PM on March 3, 2015 [8 favorites]