The Narcissist as Sensitive Introvert
June 5, 2015 11:52 AM Subscribe
By this point, you're probably wondering if you're secretly a hypersensitive covert narcissist masquerading as a sensitive introvert. Without further ado, here are 23 items that will allow you to gain greater insight into your personality.
good article, nice to see something actually beyond meyer briggs fluffing nonsense.
posted by Ferreous at 12:04 PM on June 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Ferreous at 12:04 PM on June 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
An effective narcissist would score themselves low.
posted by Philipschall at 12:05 PM on June 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by Philipschall at 12:05 PM on June 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
15.___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.
How do I score this if I know exactly why?
I don't know. Maybe a 3? Neutral?
posted by the hot hot side of randy at 12:07 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I bet this test is really confusing for hypersensitive introverted narcissists.
posted by echocollate at 12:12 PM on June 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by echocollate at 12:12 PM on June 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
If they really cared about me they would have consulted me before the test and based the answers around my experiences.
posted by maxsparber at 12:17 PM on June 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by maxsparber at 12:17 PM on June 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
I thought everyone was a narcissist.
posted by ian1977 at 12:18 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ian1977 at 12:18 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
An effective narcissist would score themselves low.
Yeah, the thing I've taken away from every single incredibly self-absorbed non-stop drama llama is that they never think anything is their fault in the slightest. It's always someone out to get them.
There is no way I can see those people answering these questions in a legitimate way, even something mostly neutral like "I feel hurt when criticized", and their entire life has been one big blow-up after another following any criticism.
Kind of reminded of the estranged parent forum articles someone linked a few weeks ago on the blue.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:19 PM on June 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
Yeah, the thing I've taken away from every single incredibly self-absorbed non-stop drama llama is that they never think anything is their fault in the slightest. It's always someone out to get them.
There is no way I can see those people answering these questions in a legitimate way, even something mostly neutral like "I feel hurt when criticized", and their entire life has been one big blow-up after another following any criticism.
Kind of reminded of the estranged parent forum articles someone linked a few weeks ago on the blue.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:19 PM on June 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
What if I'm just so self-critical that I just instinctively answer the questions in the most self-disparaging way?
posted by Navelgazer at 12:20 PM on June 5, 2015 [20 favorites]
posted by Navelgazer at 12:20 PM on June 5, 2015 [20 favorites]
Hey, it's not my fault that everyone around me is a literal drooling moron. Close your mouth, you look ridiculous.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:21 PM on June 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by backseatpilot at 12:21 PM on June 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
15.___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.
How do I score this if I know exactly why?
However you want, sir...
<backs away slowly>
posted by rocket88 at 12:24 PM on June 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
How do I score this if I know exactly why?
However you want, sir...
<backs away slowly>
posted by rocket88 at 12:24 PM on June 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
An effective narcissist would score themselves low.
Yeah, the thing I've taken away from every single incredibly self-absorbed non-stop drama llama is that they never think anything is their fault in the slightest. It's always someone out to get them.
I think you may need to (re)read the article, then. It goes on at length about how there are two types of narcissists, and what you're talking about are the "overt" kind, while this test is about "covert" narcissists.
From the article:
In a recent study conducted on a group of 420 undergraduates, Jonathan Cheek and colleagues found that higher scorers on this "Maladaptive Covert Narcissism Scale" tended to also score higher on tests of entitlement, shame, and neuroticism, and tended to display lower levels of self esteem, extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. In contrast, maladaptive overt narcissism wasn't related to shame, self esteem, or neuroticism, even though overt narcissists reported feeling just as entitled as covert narcissists.
I think the point is that an "it's all about ME" attitude can lead to both super over-confidence or super persecution complex.
posted by Sangermaine at 12:24 PM on June 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
Yeah, the thing I've taken away from every single incredibly self-absorbed non-stop drama llama is that they never think anything is their fault in the slightest. It's always someone out to get them.
I think you may need to (re)read the article, then. It goes on at length about how there are two types of narcissists, and what you're talking about are the "overt" kind, while this test is about "covert" narcissists.
From the article:
In a recent study conducted on a group of 420 undergraduates, Jonathan Cheek and colleagues found that higher scorers on this "Maladaptive Covert Narcissism Scale" tended to also score higher on tests of entitlement, shame, and neuroticism, and tended to display lower levels of self esteem, extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. In contrast, maladaptive overt narcissism wasn't related to shame, self esteem, or neuroticism, even though overt narcissists reported feeling just as entitled as covert narcissists.
I think the point is that an "it's all about ME" attitude can lead to both super over-confidence or super persecution complex.
posted by Sangermaine at 12:24 PM on June 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
Fucking turtle deserves to be on its back.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 12:25 PM on June 5, 2015 [32 favorites]
posted by the phlegmatic king at 12:25 PM on June 5, 2015 [32 favorites]
Huh, I only got a 65, which is complete normal and therefore bullshit.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:27 PM on June 5, 2015
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:27 PM on June 5, 2015
I'm more comfortable with a delusional sense of self-regard mysekf.
posted by The Whelk at 12:30 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 12:30 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is great. Nothing worse than someone going on and on about how hurt/sensitive/depressed/special/uniquely damaged they are (I've been guilty of this many times*) with absolutely no awareness of the role they play in their misery. I've noticed geek/nerd/whatever culture has something similar with "being on the spectrum." Spectrum or just being an inconsiderate jerk? Which seems likelier?
*yay therapy for helping me to stop that shit.
posted by the lake is above, the water below at 12:33 PM on June 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
*yay therapy for helping me to stop that shit.
posted by the lake is above, the water below at 12:33 PM on June 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
here are 23 items that will allow you to gain greater insight into your personality. In a recent study conducted on a group of 420 undergraduates
The Pothead Illuminati are behind this, aren't they.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:33 PM on June 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
The Pothead Illuminati are behind this, aren't they.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:33 PM on June 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
I thought everyone was a narcissist.
Not me, I'm too cool to fall for that.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:34 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Not me, I'm too cool to fall for that.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:34 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm vaguely curious as to how my narcissistic mother would answer these questions. But not curious enough to actually ask her.
posted by Sophie1 at 12:35 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Sophie1 at 12:35 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Scientific American is apparently not scientific enough to code in something that adds up the score for their rinky internet quiz. What a bunch of narcissists.
posted by Squeak Attack at 12:36 PM on June 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Squeak Attack at 12:36 PM on June 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Tests that require me to score them myself prove conclusively that I am very lazy.
posted by Drinky Die at 12:37 PM on June 5, 2015 [26 favorites]
posted by Drinky Die at 12:37 PM on June 5, 2015 [26 favorites]
Does embarrassed = "feelings are hurt?"
What about ashamed?
posted by Auden at 12:39 PM on June 5, 2015
What about ashamed?
posted by Auden at 12:39 PM on June 5, 2015
Maybe I scored lower than I figured I would because my narcissism isn't as covert as I thought it was.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:39 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:39 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I scored 89 which I think is pretty accurate and appropriate.
posted by the hot hot side of randy at 12:45 PM on June 5, 2015
posted by the hot hot side of randy at 12:45 PM on June 5, 2015
One interesting point that was raised when this article was discussed last year on Reddit's /r/raisedbynarcissists group (for the children of pathologically narcissist parents):
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 12:47 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
I've seen these articles (or similar ones) before, and they did worry me a great deal at first. But looking closely at the items, they tend to focus on being overly-sensitive to criticism and black-and-white thinking -- characteristics that are common to both [Narcissists] and [Adult Children of Narcissists]. What is not strongly represented in the items (in my opinion) is empathy, and I believe lack of empathy to be the single most significant defining trait of an [Narcissist].So if you're concerned that the quiz is suggesting you've inherited your horrible parent's psycho problems, it may not be so bad.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 12:47 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
I've noticed geek/nerd/whatever culture has something similar with "being on the spectrum." Spectrum or just being an inconsiderate jerk?
If you took away the ressentiment and persecution complex, there wouldn't really be a lot left of geek culture other than certain tastes in genre art. But then, people who read romance novels or who watch action movies aren't exactly a subculture in the same way that geeks are.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 12:48 PM on June 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
If you took away the ressentiment and persecution complex, there wouldn't really be a lot left of geek culture other than certain tastes in genre art. But then, people who read romance novels or who watch action movies aren't exactly a subculture in the same way that geeks are.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 12:48 PM on June 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
I don't need a stupid quiz to tell me how great I am.
posted by johnnydummkopf at 12:48 PM on June 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by johnnydummkopf at 12:48 PM on June 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
the latest research suggests that there is also a large selfish segment of the population who say they are introverted and sensitive when they really just can't stand it that everyone doesn't recognize their brilliance.
This quote from the end of the article explains a lot of the behavior I see on the internet.
posted by colfax at 12:48 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
This quote from the end of the article explains a lot of the behavior I see on the internet.
posted by colfax at 12:48 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Narcissistic personality disorder is a serious diagnosis. It's not something to take lightly, and it's not something that any responsible practitioner would diagnose without serious consideration.
I'm not a big fan of trivializing real conditions like that with 'self' assessment tests on the internet. People suck at self assessments. But pretty much nobody is going to diagnose themselves, anyway. If the article gets traction, it might create an uptick in people dishing out armchair diagnoses of other people, though.
posted by ernielundquist at 12:50 PM on June 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
I'm not a big fan of trivializing real conditions like that with 'self' assessment tests on the internet. People suck at self assessments. But pretty much nobody is going to diagnose themselves, anyway. If the article gets traction, it might create an uptick in people dishing out armchair diagnoses of other people, though.
posted by ernielundquist at 12:50 PM on June 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
I'm not a narcissist, I'm a Galadrial. “And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!”
Also, I'm feeling quite put out that nobody seems to be despairing. What is with you people? Sure, all the love, admiration and sports cars are lovely, but are the bitter tears of mine enemies too much to ask for?
posted by dejah420 at 12:53 PM on June 5, 2015 [12 favorites]
Also, I'm feeling quite put out that nobody seems to be despairing. What is with you people? Sure, all the love, admiration and sports cars are lovely, but are the bitter tears of mine enemies too much to ask for?
posted by dejah420 at 12:53 PM on June 5, 2015 [12 favorites]
An effective narcissist would score themselves low.
My best friend, who is pretty amazing, once told my mother that her hero was Lady MacBeth. My mother thought this was very funny but also told me later "[Friend] really needs to stop saying that." When I passed this on my friend was like "Yeah, I know, because I realized Lady MacBeth would never say that."
She was also super disappointed when Maleficent got bad reviews because "it was going to be really formative for me."
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 12:55 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
My best friend, who is pretty amazing, once told my mother that her hero was Lady MacBeth. My mother thought this was very funny but also told me later "[Friend] really needs to stop saying that." When I passed this on my friend was like "Yeah, I know, because I realized Lady MacBeth would never say that."
She was also super disappointed when Maleficent got bad reviews because "it was going to be really formative for me."
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 12:55 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
If you took away the ressentiment and persecution complex, there wouldn't really be a lot left of geek culture other than certain tastes in genre art.
where do I sign up
posted by griphus at 1:04 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
where do I sign up
posted by griphus at 1:04 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, in probably what may be one of my favorite examples of cosmic irony, it's super hard to find a self-help book for narcissism if you're the narcissist.
posted by griphus at 1:15 PM on June 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by griphus at 1:15 PM on June 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
Now, do genuinely introverted people exist? Absolutely. Are there genuinely sensitive people? For sure. There are even many individuals who are both sensitive and introverted.
But the latest research suggests that there is also a large selfish segment of the population who say they are introverted and sensitive when they really just can't stand it that everyone doesn't recognize their brilliance.
The latest research suggests there are all kinds of people out there!
posted by Hoopo at 1:20 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
But the latest research suggests that there is also a large selfish segment of the population who say they are introverted and sensitive when they really just can't stand it that everyone doesn't recognize their brilliance.
The latest research suggests there are all kinds of people out there!
posted by Hoopo at 1:20 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Scientific Director of The Imagination Institute in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of [whatever]
Well, it sounds a bit overblown.
posted by nicolin at 1:34 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Well, it sounds a bit overblown.
posted by nicolin at 1:34 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
where do I sign up
Deep within your own soul?
posted by strangely stunted trees at 1:37 PM on June 5, 2015
Deep within your own soul?
posted by strangely stunted trees at 1:37 PM on June 5, 2015
And at the bottom of the page, two of the additional articles recommended for you, reader of "23 Signs You’re Secretly a Narcissist," are "The Surprising Problem of Too Much Talent" and "Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?"
posted by octobersurprise at 1:40 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by octobersurprise at 1:40 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
With blackjack! and hookers!
posted by echocollate at 1:44 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by echocollate at 1:44 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
If you took away the ressentiment and persecution complex, there wouldn't really be a lot left of geek culture other than certain tastes in genre art. But then, people who read romance novels or who watch action movies aren't exactly a subculture in the same way that geeks are.
What about like, ham radio operators, or people who build robots for fun? Definitely a subculture there even if you stripped out whatever persecution complex exists (which is probably less than gamers or SF fans or whatever).
posted by vogon_poet at 1:48 PM on June 5, 2015
What about like, ham radio operators, or people who build robots for fun? Definitely a subculture there even if you stripped out whatever persecution complex exists (which is probably less than gamers or SF fans or whatever).
posted by vogon_poet at 1:48 PM on June 5, 2015
If you aren't a narcissist, can we interest you in some psychopathy? Take Scientific American's "Are You A Psychopath" test to find out.
15.___ You start a conversation. Can you even finish it?posted by octobersurprise at 1:52 PM on June 5, 2015 [21 favorites]
16.___ You're talking a lot. Are you saying anything?
I'm more of a solipsist than a narcissist - it's not so much that I'm more important than you jerks, it's that you literally don't exist.
posted by Chrysostom at 2:03 PM on June 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Chrysostom at 2:03 PM on June 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Well I think there's something to be said about a post- enlightenment, capitalist world which incentivizes individualism to its extreme but logical conclusion of narcissism.
posted by polymodus at 2:09 PM on June 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by polymodus at 2:09 PM on June 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Well I think there's something to be said about a post- enlightenment, capitalist world which incentivizes individualism to its extreme but logical conclusion of narcissism.
Been there. Doin' that now.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:11 PM on June 5, 2015
Been there. Doin' that now.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:11 PM on June 5, 2015
How can a narcissist really diagnose themselves?
That's like asking a dog, "Who's a good boy?"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:21 PM on June 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
That's like asking a dog, "Who's a good boy?"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:21 PM on June 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
another person with navelgazer's problem here, though I would say that the compulsion to relentlessly self-disparage (a compulsion I have in spades) is itself deeply narcissistic.
Pretty much the only questions I marked low scores on were the ones about assigning blame to others; my typical approach to any situation wherein anything is going wrong is to identify a way to blame myself for the situation, and then start scouting out methods to punish myself for it.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:22 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Pretty much the only questions I marked low scores on were the ones about assigning blame to others; my typical approach to any situation wherein anything is going wrong is to identify a way to blame myself for the situation, and then start scouting out methods to punish myself for it.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:22 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
She was also super disappointed when Maleficent got bad reviews because "it was going to be really formative for me."
I really hope your friend went to see Maleficent anyway, because it was wackadoo bonkers in the best ways.
Also the main character was anything but a narcissist; she was pretty much a grump with a heart of gold.
posted by psoas at 3:47 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
I really hope your friend went to see Maleficent anyway, because it was wackadoo bonkers in the best ways.
Also the main character was anything but a narcissist; she was pretty much a grump with a heart of gold.
posted by psoas at 3:47 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
There's something almost recursive about the quiz, like scoring the descriptors as highly descriptive of oneself might actually involve a kind of narcissistic mistake about the relative descriptive-of-oneself-ness of the descriptors.
I say it's a self-deception test that captures black knights (and maybe the odd zen master) at the low end.
Anyway, I put the correct answer for all of them and those underappreciating fuckers at barnes and noble still wouldn't hire me.
posted by batfish at 6:44 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
I say it's a self-deception test that captures black knights (and maybe the odd zen master) at the low end.
Anyway, I put the correct answer for all of them and those underappreciating fuckers at barnes and noble still wouldn't hire me.
posted by batfish at 6:44 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Scientific American is apparently not scientific enough to code in something that adds up the score for their rinky internet quiz. What a bunch of narcissists.
It did for me. They must not be interested in recording your answers.
posted by ctmf at 8:37 PM on June 5, 2015
It did for me. They must not be interested in recording your answers.
posted by ctmf at 8:37 PM on June 5, 2015
Self-disgust is self-obsession honey, and I do as I please
posted by lmfsilva at 7:01 AM on June 6, 2015
posted by lmfsilva at 7:01 AM on June 6, 2015
Also, in probably what may be one of my favorite examples of cosmic irony, it's super hard to find a self-help book for narcissism if you're the narcissist.Is that because if you're looking for the book you don't need it?
Talking a narcissist out of narcissism would be like talking a crocodile out of biting.
posted by fullerine at 7:01 AM on June 6, 2015
i am 100% aware of my hilarrible narcissism which tbh i think makes it 100% okay.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:00 AM on June 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 10:00 AM on June 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
My cat scored 84.
posted by tickingclock at 1:56 PM on June 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
1. I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others.Yep.
8. I easily become wrapped up in my own interests and forget the existence of others.
15. I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.
19. My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.
20. I tend to become involved in relationships in which I alternately adore and despise the other person.
22. I resent others who have what I lack.
posted by tickingclock at 1:56 PM on June 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
finally a way to answer the question I've pondered for the last few years: am I actually an introvert, or is it just that I don't like the vast majority of people enough to enjoy spending a night out with them instead of staying home by myself and doing whatever the fuck I want
posted by kagredon at 8:47 PM on June 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by kagredon at 8:47 PM on June 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
someone asked me "hey liz do you want to make a new friend" the other day and i was just like, wow, the word "no" just seems like such a small and insignificant way to express the vast endless reservoir of horror and loathing and DO NOT WANT i felt at the very thought of having to get to know yet another human being
like ugh what a fucking ordeal, i might have to acknowledge someone's existence
posted by poffin boffin at 9:00 PM on June 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
like ugh what a fucking ordeal, i might have to acknowledge someone's existence
posted by poffin boffin at 9:00 PM on June 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Not enough of you are posting scores. I got a 68, which is in the average among college students, but I'm in my mid-30s now. I think if I had taken it back in college, I would have scored off the charts.
posted by ChuckRamone at 7:28 AM on June 8, 2015
posted by ChuckRamone at 7:28 AM on June 8, 2015
Me too probably but also back in college I would have TOTALLY LIED.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:37 AM on June 8, 2015
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:37 AM on June 8, 2015
someone asked me "hey liz do you want to make a new friend" the other day
Oh gods yes. My partner recently asked me after we went to a party, "So which of those people we met do you want to stay in contact with?" and I was like, I do not want to organize my social life like a game of five-card draw (keep this, discard that, shuffle shuffle)...can't we PLEEEZ just see who we run into again?
Sometimes I feel like I'm in an endless first date with the entire city of San Francisco and I really need to excuse myself from the table.
posted by psoas at 9:21 AM on June 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh gods yes. My partner recently asked me after we went to a party, "So which of those people we met do you want to stay in contact with?" and I was like, I do not want to organize my social life like a game of five-card draw (keep this, discard that, shuffle shuffle)...can't we PLEEEZ just see who we run into again?
Sometimes I feel like I'm in an endless first date with the entire city of San Francisco and I really need to excuse myself from the table.
posted by psoas at 9:21 AM on June 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is all very tough to process; pretty sure I grew up with narcissist parents and turned out one, I found this description pretty illuminating...
I think it's possible to be a "good at heart narcissist" who is self aware and insightful and not pure badness, but the term is totally loaded with that absolute "you are evil shit" connotation, somehow. I'm sure it's much more challenging for self-aware sociopaths (I gotta always find someone who is suffering more, and less than me to feel OK).
One has to figure out how to handle the narcissism in their relationships and dealings without falling into the other end, where you're constantly apologizing for everything and depressed. I've been "underconfident" for most of my life while still having an air of confidence, like "I should be running teh Google but I was lazy in college" and "I am worthless and don't deserve the sort of career that I ultimately want, and I don't know what I want because I'll never be happy because I'm an infinite well of darkness that sucks all happiness inward and hides and steals it away."
In fact I recently posted something about dialectical behavioral therapy and I think it might end up being an effective treatment for narcissism in addition to bipolar and borderline personality disorder, I told my parents the other day that I often feel like my narcissism is really a mechanism of staying out of the "you should shoot yourself" mindset that recurring suicidal depression (especially as a part of bipolar disorder) requires -- you must have this bolstered confidence that you can out-think your own brain but you're not the smartest person in the world but you're smarter than you give yourself credit for but you can't be too smug or too self-confidence or too apologetic, woez is is meez, etc
posted by aydeejones at 7:54 PM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think it's possible to be a "good at heart narcissist" who is self aware and insightful and not pure badness, but the term is totally loaded with that absolute "you are evil shit" connotation, somehow. I'm sure it's much more challenging for self-aware sociopaths (I gotta always find someone who is suffering more, and less than me to feel OK).
One has to figure out how to handle the narcissism in their relationships and dealings without falling into the other end, where you're constantly apologizing for everything and depressed. I've been "underconfident" for most of my life while still having an air of confidence, like "I should be running teh Google but I was lazy in college" and "I am worthless and don't deserve the sort of career that I ultimately want, and I don't know what I want because I'll never be happy because I'm an infinite well of darkness that sucks all happiness inward and hides and steals it away."
In fact I recently posted something about dialectical behavioral therapy and I think it might end up being an effective treatment for narcissism in addition to bipolar and borderline personality disorder, I told my parents the other day that I often feel like my narcissism is really a mechanism of staying out of the "you should shoot yourself" mindset that recurring suicidal depression (especially as a part of bipolar disorder) requires -- you must have this bolstered confidence that you can out-think your own brain but you're not the smartest person in the world but you're smarter than you give yourself credit for but you can't be too smug or too self-confidence or too apologetic, woez is is meez, etc
posted by aydeejones at 7:54 PM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
I bet narcissistic depression has its own special taint. It has to be special-er than regular depression! Like extra existential because you should be a unicorn gold dust star bug but you don't want to even clean up the dorito bags and coffee stains in your car more than twice a year
posted by aydeejones at 7:57 PM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by aydeejones at 7:57 PM on June 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
« Older Look, this matters. | Record Covers (Objects) Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
How do I score this if I know exactly why?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:57 AM on June 5, 2015 [20 favorites]