Put on a little makeup (makeup), make sure they get your good side
October 28, 2015 8:27 AM Subscribe
Put Your Makeup On So They'll Like You (slMedium)
I don't think I've ever worn full-face makeup, save for the times my more competent friends gave me makeovers (the 'charity case' thing she mentions is real!), so I've never gotten the mega-change every-door-opened effect that she talks about here (I am also a plain-to-ugly chubby woman, so that probably matters too) but holy crap I just throw on some eyeliner and eyebrow pencil and people treat me noticeably better. Not just strangers, but friends and coworkers. It's alarming how much better you're treated for being slightly more attractive/appearing to conform to feminine social norms.
The upside to this, though, is that if people think I look sick, I probably am actually sick.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 8:40 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
The upside to this, though, is that if people think I look sick, I probably am actually sick.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 8:40 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I wear makeup because I'm chronically ill and the appearance lift of makeup allows me to pass as normal. I know what she's talking about in terms of the difference between makeup and no makeup from discussions with other women, but I can't imagine going out other than to exercise without makeup. (And yes, that means in the triple-digit heat in the summers.) Good for her for being ready and able to deal with the world without armoring up in paint.
posted by immlass at 8:50 AM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by immlass at 8:50 AM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
I've never worn make-up and honestly the prospect of being treated better if I did makes me want to double-down on my "fuck you, you're not the boss of me" stance.
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:56 AM on October 28, 2015 [51 favorites]
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:56 AM on October 28, 2015 [51 favorites]
My mother, retired for several years, still won't leave the house without her "face" on, even in places where she knows no one or wouldn't be expected to look nice, like the grocery store. I was like this for a few years when I was looking for a steady, full-time job and dating regularly. It's probably not a coincidence that I was pretty insecure at that point. I've since settled into a full-time job and longterm partner and my days of heavy makeup dropped significantly. I'm very lucky to be in a place in my life where I don't feel like I have to be at maximum attractiveness to achieve my next milestones. It's extremely freeing, but I'm always a little worried that I'll have to switch back into Makeupface mode if my relationship or employment status changes.
posted by almostmanda at 8:59 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by almostmanda at 8:59 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I only ever wear minimal make up - a swipe of mascara, some bronzer and some blush which I rub off by lunchtime.....
I always thought make-up was just kind of stupid and annoying, something I wasn't very good at and probably would have tried harder at if it wasn't all so damn expensive!
Then I had my makeup professionally done for my wedding and, wow, I was gob smacked at how GOOD I looked. Yes, it looked like me, but my face was accented and highlighted in all the right places.
It made me realize why people like the Kardashians have an entourage of personal makeup artists following them around all day. To be honest, if I had the money - maybe even I'D be tempted to get one!
Make-up is stupid and expensive and demanded by society - but heck, and sorry if this isn't the right thing to say, I think it does make us look better!!
posted by JenThePro at 9:01 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I always thought make-up was just kind of stupid and annoying, something I wasn't very good at and probably would have tried harder at if it wasn't all so damn expensive!
Then I had my makeup professionally done for my wedding and, wow, I was gob smacked at how GOOD I looked. Yes, it looked like me, but my face was accented and highlighted in all the right places.
It made me realize why people like the Kardashians have an entourage of personal makeup artists following them around all day. To be honest, if I had the money - maybe even I'D be tempted to get one!
Make-up is stupid and expensive and demanded by society - but heck, and sorry if this isn't the right thing to say, I think it does make us look better!!
posted by JenThePro at 9:01 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
My mother is a make-up lady; she is 63 and still won't leave the house without something on her face. I used to watch and be mystified by this lengthy daily process throughout my childhood. In high school, I obvs did Goth make up but even then I was pretty shit at it. I stopped wearing make up for, well, most of my adulthood. I just started up again for my current office job (I always looked "tired" or "sick" when I started here), but I can't be bothered to freshen up during the day.
I also became a subscriber for a vegan beauty box, which is super interesting to get in the post but man, I need make-up tutorials myself because the most recent edition had a gold leaf makeup stick and I am like, WTF do I do with this????
posted by Kitteh at 9:06 AM on October 28, 2015
I also became a subscriber for a vegan beauty box, which is super interesting to get in the post but man, I need make-up tutorials myself because the most recent edition had a gold leaf makeup stick and I am like, WTF do I do with this????
posted by Kitteh at 9:06 AM on October 28, 2015
Obligatory Amy Schumer: "Girl, You Don't Need Makeup"
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:10 AM on October 28, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:10 AM on October 28, 2015 [16 favorites]
Most of the time I don't wear makeup. When I do, it's pretty minimal - eyeliner (top and bottom), sometimes eyeshadow, lipstick. If I'm feeling super-fancy, mascara. I don't bother with concealer though my skin is very uneven (rosacea will do that to you)
And then it vanishes off my face after about an hour (even the 24 hour guaranteed stuff).
Anyway, I wear it, I don't wear it, doesn't matter - no one ever says anything to me one way or the other.
posted by Lucinda at 9:10 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
And then it vanishes off my face after about an hour (even the 24 hour guaranteed stuff).
Anyway, I wear it, I don't wear it, doesn't matter - no one ever says anything to me one way or the other.
posted by Lucinda at 9:10 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
At first glance it wasn't clear which half of the photo was with or without makeup. Aha, left side is without. Next thought: hmm, she's attractive without...but is it because it looks like she has makeup on even when she doesn't? #irony
posted by gottabefunky at 9:14 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by gottabefunky at 9:14 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
In that case, the average male person gets to wake up in the morning with the face that they are going to leave their houses with, but I, and other women, have to spend hours putting on our faces, before being acceptable. The face we wake up with, isn’t good enough to show the world, not without makeup.
This is timely because 2 seconds before I opened Metafilter just now I was sitting here thinking how unbearably silly I would feel wearing makeup. Everyone would be able to see it! They'd think "Who does she think she even is??" But then I have never had makeup done that made me look subtly better and not just like one of those terrible apps that puts eyeshadow and blush on your photo. I also think I'm skating by on being young and still having okay skin and having been blessed with defined eyebrows and eyelashes. But a huge part of why I resist it is the sentiment above, which is absolutely true. Every time I think about maybe looking into this makeup thing, because it really does help some people and makes them feel and look good, I come back to this idea and I viscerally can't stomach being a part of it.
posted by bleep at 9:23 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
This is timely because 2 seconds before I opened Metafilter just now I was sitting here thinking how unbearably silly I would feel wearing makeup. Everyone would be able to see it! They'd think "Who does she think she even is??" But then I have never had makeup done that made me look subtly better and not just like one of those terrible apps that puts eyeshadow and blush on your photo. I also think I'm skating by on being young and still having okay skin and having been blessed with defined eyebrows and eyelashes. But a huge part of why I resist it is the sentiment above, which is absolutely true. Every time I think about maybe looking into this makeup thing, because it really does help some people and makes them feel and look good, I come back to this idea and I viscerally can't stomach being a part of it.
posted by bleep at 9:23 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I basically gave up bothering with makeup over the past 5-6 years after wearing it less and less in the years before, and it made no difference to my life at all. I wore a full face of makeup once last year and no one even noticed. I've also successfully interviewed for several professional jobs in that time, all without makeup of any sort. I don't know what makes me so lucky, maybe because I don't live in the USA, maybe because my eyebrows and lashes are naturally black, maybe because I have a PhD and am getting jobs in academia (which I realise gives me all kinds of privilege), maybe because I'm 40 so no one expects much from me anymore anyway. Whatever the cause, I like it. It's a pity that I can't somehow distill this whatever it is (probably privilege now I think about it) that lets me do whatever I want and hand it out to anyone else that wants some.
posted by shelleycat at 9:27 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by shelleycat at 9:27 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
I've been watching makeup tutorials on YouTube for a couple of weeks now (they're fucking hypnotic, man) trying to find something that will walk me through how to apply a very pale face for Halloween in the way you would explain as much to a kindergartner, as opposed to an adult with a full complement of makeup and makeup tools, and it's been a truly amazing thing to discover -- like, I am just consistently flat-out amazed by these women's wizardry. Watching them bring out these giant bags and boxes of colors and powders and creams and glitter, it all feels very alchemical. The practice of makeup application has always been completely opaque to me as a non-makeup wearer from a long line of non-makeup wearers and the joyful creativity on display has been a hell of a thing to discover, not to mention delightfully corrosive toward some of my extant tentacles of internalized misogyny. My favorite artist to watch so far is Mykie at Glam&Gore. She's like a sprightly, sparkly nerd magician.
Just in terms of 'normal' face-painting, I wish more dudes did it and I wish it wasn't scandalous or unusual for women to refrain from doing it. My heart shatters whenever I hear a woman talk about how she wouldn't dare leave the house without makeup on -- not in a "everyone is equally beautiful no matter what!" hippy-dippy bullshit way, but because we live in a world that teaches women that the way they look is generally unacceptable. Don't put TOO much effort into your appearance, because that makes you vain, but make sure you put at least SOME, so that we know you still care. To that end, I REALLY wish theoretically progressive men would stopasking for cookies talking about how they actually (gasp!) prefer women who don't wear makeup at all because most of the time, they honestly don't: What most men interpret as a woman wearing "no makeup at all" is actually just a woman wearing a full face of quote-unquote natural-looking makeup. Sorry dudes!
In any case, it really is super fun as someone who only ever goes without: People never stop telling me I look sick and/or tired. EVER. Every day, at least one person will say it, from strangers to people who've known me for years. To be fair, I am indeed consistently exhausted in that bone-deep, spiritual kind of way, but I've also never worn makeup, so I'm not sure what wakeful, energized-looking version of me they're comparing the tired, sick-looking version to because they're both the same.
posted by divined by radio at 9:27 AM on October 28, 2015 [34 favorites]
Just in terms of 'normal' face-painting, I wish more dudes did it and I wish it wasn't scandalous or unusual for women to refrain from doing it. My heart shatters whenever I hear a woman talk about how she wouldn't dare leave the house without makeup on -- not in a "everyone is equally beautiful no matter what!" hippy-dippy bullshit way, but because we live in a world that teaches women that the way they look is generally unacceptable. Don't put TOO much effort into your appearance, because that makes you vain, but make sure you put at least SOME, so that we know you still care. To that end, I REALLY wish theoretically progressive men would stop
In any case, it really is super fun as someone who only ever goes without: People never stop telling me I look sick and/or tired. EVER. Every day, at least one person will say it, from strangers to people who've known me for years. To be fair, I am indeed consistently exhausted in that bone-deep, spiritual kind of way, but I've also never worn makeup, so I'm not sure what wakeful, energized-looking version of me they're comparing the tired, sick-looking version to because they're both the same.
posted by divined by radio at 9:27 AM on October 28, 2015 [34 favorites]
I have been obsessed by makeup since I was really young. I remember locking the bathroom door when I was about 8 and playing with my Mums' makeup bag - I especially loved red lipstick - and then frantically scrubbing it off when I got called for dinner. My Mum didn't allow me to wear any until I was about 14, and then only some eyeshadow on special occasions - definitely not foundation - but I remember sneaking mascara into my schoolbag and putting it on it the locker rooms. (Then teenage acne struck and the makeup became more of a cover up but one that I was really good at.) I was a goth from about age 16 and I spent hours putting on my white face and intricate eyeliner and eyeshadow combinations, and when I was having an early mid-life crisis about 28 I quit my (serious, helping) job to train as a makeup artist and was the manager of a Clinique counter for a while. I was the one to do my friends makeup always, the one who strangers would stop in toilets on nights out and as how I got my makeup so perfect. And now I still wear full makeup everyday - foundation, concealer, powder, blusher, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick - but I put it on in about ten minutes. Going out I can spend half an hour doing it really precisely, longer if I have time and I feel like it.
All of which is just to say that not everyone wears makeup because that's how women are "supposed" to look. Some of us just love it - the shiny arrays of lipstick casings at the makeup counter, the joy of getting a new product home and playing with it for the first time, the textures, the time spent being creative and experimenting with colours and textures - it's not just about the finished face. Yes I feel better with it on, but I feel better when I wash my hair too. (Though I'm actually rubbish at doing my hair and I could care less about my nails). Women shouldn't be falsely set up where we can only be made-up or intelligent - it's not an either/or scenario. Don't do anything you don't want to do, and fair play to women who care as much about makeup as I do about nail art (ie not at all) but those of us who love makeup shouldn't have to show our feminist badge to be taken seriously, either. I loved colouring-in as a tiny kid and I still do, it's just that now I get to use my face as a palette.
posted by billiebee at 9:28 AM on October 28, 2015 [50 favorites]
All of which is just to say that not everyone wears makeup because that's how women are "supposed" to look. Some of us just love it - the shiny arrays of lipstick casings at the makeup counter, the joy of getting a new product home and playing with it for the first time, the textures, the time spent being creative and experimenting with colours and textures - it's not just about the finished face. Yes I feel better with it on, but I feel better when I wash my hair too. (Though I'm actually rubbish at doing my hair and I could care less about my nails). Women shouldn't be falsely set up where we can only be made-up or intelligent - it's not an either/or scenario. Don't do anything you don't want to do, and fair play to women who care as much about makeup as I do about nail art (ie not at all) but those of us who love makeup shouldn't have to show our feminist badge to be taken seriously, either. I loved colouring-in as a tiny kid and I still do, it's just that now I get to use my face as a palette.
posted by billiebee at 9:28 AM on October 28, 2015 [50 favorites]
I am just consistently flat-out amazed by these women's wizardry.
Right?! One thing consistently missing from these "I wore makeup" pieces is just how much *fun* it can be.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 9:30 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
Right?! One thing consistently missing from these "I wore makeup" pieces is just how much *fun* it can be.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 9:30 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I honestly feel this way and I know other women do too-- makeup for me is soothing and comforting. If people think watching makeup videos is hypnotic, try putting it on. At least for me. Many times in my life I have been alone, the only one taking care of myself. That is one way I did it. I still do, and it still relaxes me.
posted by oflinkey at 9:32 AM on October 28, 2015 [19 favorites]
posted by oflinkey at 9:32 AM on October 28, 2015 [19 favorites]
Yeah, and part of it is whether you've naturally got good-enough-looking skin; I've got an easy complexion that doesn't tend to get splotchy and I don't get many zits, so I can get away without really dealing with foundations. (I mean it's not PERFECT, but it's good enough.) Whereas some women I know have really uneven skin, or get many zits or other marks, and they feel like the "natural foundation" skills are really mandatory because it makes such a big difference.
Now that I'm getting older I'm starting to feel like lipstick is probably approaching mandatory when I want to look professional, because my lips are more pale than they used to be and it looks a bit "unfinished" when I want to look professional. The one thing that really does make a difference on my face is eyeliner (makes my eyes really pop without looking like Tammy Faye Bakker), but unfortunately I'm not coordinated enough to apply that myself so sucks to be my unlined eyes.
I was so relieved when I moved back to the midwest from the East Coast, because it's very normal here for people to go to the store without makeup and you don't really hear people talk about "putting on their face" to go run errands. To go to work or to go out, sure, people do. But for running around town, there's a lot of bare faces and I'm glad that makeup is so much more optional here. (Putting on make-up to go to the gym makes people look at you funny, that just seems weird.) Because I like it! It's fun and it can make you feel pretty and it can be a life-saver for people with skin conditions they're self-conscious about! But it's a lot less fun when it's mandatory, then it rapidly becomes patriarchal oppression rather than female self-expression.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:36 AM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
Now that I'm getting older I'm starting to feel like lipstick is probably approaching mandatory when I want to look professional, because my lips are more pale than they used to be and it looks a bit "unfinished" when I want to look professional. The one thing that really does make a difference on my face is eyeliner (makes my eyes really pop without looking like Tammy Faye Bakker), but unfortunately I'm not coordinated enough to apply that myself so sucks to be my unlined eyes.
I was so relieved when I moved back to the midwest from the East Coast, because it's very normal here for people to go to the store without makeup and you don't really hear people talk about "putting on their face" to go run errands. To go to work or to go out, sure, people do. But for running around town, there's a lot of bare faces and I'm glad that makeup is so much more optional here. (Putting on make-up to go to the gym makes people look at you funny, that just seems weird.) Because I like it! It's fun and it can make you feel pretty and it can be a life-saver for people with skin conditions they're self-conscious about! But it's a lot less fun when it's mandatory, then it rapidly becomes patriarchal oppression rather than female self-expression.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:36 AM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
I'm not for a nanosecond going to say that the expectations and judgments placed on women regarding makeup are okay. They're obviously not and we, as a society, have a lot to answer for on that count.
But you do kinda have to admire the ability and artistry some people have to shape and reshape their own visage. Wizardry, indeed.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:36 AM on October 28, 2015
But you do kinda have to admire the ability and artistry some people have to shape and reshape their own visage. Wizardry, indeed.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:36 AM on October 28, 2015
like, I am just consistently flat-out amazed by these women's wizardry.
I've watched a few of those videos too and have tried to wear makeup a few times, mostly to be "more professional at work" and every time I'm amazed at what an art form it is. There are some very talented people out there as well as a ton of skill involved in learning how to do it properly - it IS art. Purely speaking and apart from the many other social considerations: but of course it's been belittled into something of lesser value because it's something women do.
posted by barchan at 9:37 AM on October 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
I've watched a few of those videos too and have tried to wear makeup a few times, mostly to be "more professional at work" and every time I'm amazed at what an art form it is. There are some very talented people out there as well as a ton of skill involved in learning how to do it properly - it IS art. Purely speaking and apart from the many other social considerations: but of course it's been belittled into something of lesser value because it's something women do.
posted by barchan at 9:37 AM on October 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
Don't put TOO much effort into your appearance, because that makes you vain, but make sure you put at least SOME, so that we know you still care.
I think this is the part that's a problem. I don't have a problem with makeup per se, I even wear it myself sometimes (or did in the past at least). And I agree that it's fun in many situations. It's this idea that there's a set way it must be that's a problem, particularly when it's so often aspirational, i.e. whatever you actually do isn't good enough. I'm glad that I get treated the same no matter what I wear on my face and (for the most part) on my body and believe that everyone deserves the same. Even if I'm just imagining it which is always a possibility.
posted by shelleycat at 9:42 AM on October 28, 2015
I think this is the part that's a problem. I don't have a problem with makeup per se, I even wear it myself sometimes (or did in the past at least). And I agree that it's fun in many situations. It's this idea that there's a set way it must be that's a problem, particularly when it's so often aspirational, i.e. whatever you actually do isn't good enough. I'm glad that I get treated the same no matter what I wear on my face and (for the most part) on my body and believe that everyone deserves the same. Even if I'm just imagining it which is always a possibility.
posted by shelleycat at 9:42 AM on October 28, 2015
I hail from New Jersey- so makeup was a Thing always. I didn't when I had the gift of youth (this was for about 20 seconds in my 20's). Sometimes my skin agrees we are going out into the world, and doesn't look like a minefield exploded. Sometimes it does not and I do some BB cream and powder ,lipstick.
I think the thing that the young ins keep wrestling with is the ritual of performing gender. I can be found in fat girl man pants and hoodies most of the time , but can do full grown up when it's useful. It's a tool- and other ladies have referred to it as armor, which it is. If you aren't into it-or don't have to - DON"T.
The theme I keep hearing from pieces like this is that there is some unfairness, that you should be treated the exact same as if you hadn't defied the norms. That is not the way rebellion works kid.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 9:42 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think the thing that the young ins keep wrestling with is the ritual of performing gender. I can be found in fat girl man pants and hoodies most of the time , but can do full grown up when it's useful. It's a tool- and other ladies have referred to it as armor, which it is. If you aren't into it-or don't have to - DON"T.
The theme I keep hearing from pieces like this is that there is some unfairness, that you should be treated the exact same as if you hadn't defied the norms. That is not the way rebellion works kid.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 9:42 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
My approach to makeup has changed quite a bit in the last few months. I had surgery and was out of the office for 3 weeks, and even though I was working for a part of that time, I was frequently in pajamas and unshowered so, of course, no makeup.
However.
I have blonde hair, blonde eyebrows, pale skin, blue eyes, pale lips. Without *any* makeup, I look dead. Period. Not cute. Dead.
About a dozen years ago I had eyeliner tattooed (not uncommon in SF, I don't know about elsewhere). It's a very thin line and I wear eyeliner over it, but it does allow me to have eyes when I awaken.
I get my eyebrows dyed about once a month so that I'll have *some* definition in my face.
When I wear minimal makeup, it comprises: light powder, very light blush, eyeliner, mascara. I don't do this on the weekends unless I'm going to be hanging out with people who are talking directly to me, i.e., not if I'm going to the grocery store but yes if I'm going to hang out at my local bar and watch a game. When I wear full face makeup, I add light foundation and eyeshadow. I always wear something on my lips, but usually it's fairly light in color.
It really honestly does not take me hours to do this. The difference in the amount of time it takes between minimal and full face makeup is something like 90 seconds. Maybe I should mention that I always wear moisturizer with SPF, of course I do, I would have had skin cancer a million times over if I didn't.
I do not feel like anyone is making me do this. No one at the office apparently noticed when I switched from full face to minimal after my surgery. I'm so incredibly not oppressed by my makeup.
I don't feel like any woman should have to do anything for societal approval that she doesn't otherwise want to do. But woe to the person who assumes that *all* women are oppressed by their makeup, because I'm not.
posted by janey47 at 9:49 AM on October 28, 2015
However.
I have blonde hair, blonde eyebrows, pale skin, blue eyes, pale lips. Without *any* makeup, I look dead. Period. Not cute. Dead.
About a dozen years ago I had eyeliner tattooed (not uncommon in SF, I don't know about elsewhere). It's a very thin line and I wear eyeliner over it, but it does allow me to have eyes when I awaken.
I get my eyebrows dyed about once a month so that I'll have *some* definition in my face.
When I wear minimal makeup, it comprises: light powder, very light blush, eyeliner, mascara. I don't do this on the weekends unless I'm going to be hanging out with people who are talking directly to me, i.e., not if I'm going to the grocery store but yes if I'm going to hang out at my local bar and watch a game. When I wear full face makeup, I add light foundation and eyeshadow. I always wear something on my lips, but usually it's fairly light in color.
It really honestly does not take me hours to do this. The difference in the amount of time it takes between minimal and full face makeup is something like 90 seconds. Maybe I should mention that I always wear moisturizer with SPF, of course I do, I would have had skin cancer a million times over if I didn't.
I do not feel like anyone is making me do this. No one at the office apparently noticed when I switched from full face to minimal after my surgery. I'm so incredibly not oppressed by my makeup.
I don't feel like any woman should have to do anything for societal approval that she doesn't otherwise want to do. But woe to the person who assumes that *all* women are oppressed by their makeup, because I'm not.
posted by janey47 at 9:49 AM on October 28, 2015
Also adding: I have rosacea on my face... not always but sometimes. Not sure what triggers it. I'd be happy to wear some concealer if it were more "accepted" in mainstream business-world America.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 9:57 AM on October 28, 2015
posted by jeff-o-matic at 9:57 AM on October 28, 2015
Right?! One thing consistently missing from these "I wore makeup" pieces is just how much *fun* it can be.
I don't feel like any woman should have to do anything for societal approval that she doesn't otherwise want to do. But woe to the person who assumes that *all* women are oppressed by their makeup, because I'm not.
I think that was exacerbated by the last paragraph:
But more importantly, to lead the example for young girls to do the same, in the hopes that one day they can enter the world with the faces they wake up with, instead of the ones that they are forced by society to put on.
It should be 'enter the world with the faces they want to' versus 'the faces they wake up with'. Although that gets into the whole exactly how much out wants are shaped by society, false conciousness etc etc.
posted by zabuni at 9:59 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I don't feel like any woman should have to do anything for societal approval that she doesn't otherwise want to do. But woe to the person who assumes that *all* women are oppressed by their makeup, because I'm not.
I think that was exacerbated by the last paragraph:
But more importantly, to lead the example for young girls to do the same, in the hopes that one day they can enter the world with the faces they wake up with, instead of the ones that they are forced by society to put on.
It should be 'enter the world with the faces they want to' versus 'the faces they wake up with'. Although that gets into the whole exactly how much out wants are shaped by society, false conciousness etc etc.
posted by zabuni at 9:59 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I have bad makeup-fu, and I always have. For basic day-to-day all I do is some foundation and concealer (Ah, the joys of adult acne) and a tinted lip balm. If it's a special occasion maybe I'll add some eyeshadow. Any attempt I've ever made at doing anything else, it just looks extremely clumsy, and I have accepted that I personally will never master the skill set that will make it look like a subtle enhancement rather than "huh, I've got stuff on my face". And I am comfortable with that. It's possible that I've been dinged on a job interview or two because I didn't have flawless makeup, but I've done okay; and for the guys who would consider this a dealbreaker, I don't give a shit.
The only headaches came when I was a teenager, because I also was similarly apathetic towards makeup then - and my mother was always trying to drag me back in the house before going to school to plead "just a little blush or something! Please!" and it bugged me. Wasn't I good enough without it, from my own mother?...
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:02 AM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
The only headaches came when I was a teenager, because I also was similarly apathetic towards makeup then - and my mother was always trying to drag me back in the house before going to school to plead "just a little blush or something! Please!" and it bugged me. Wasn't I good enough without it, from my own mother?...
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:02 AM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Mod note: Just as a general note, guys' opinions on how women look with or without makeup and whether they find which attractive and yadda yadda yadda is a pretty predictable and done avenue that we don't need to go down yet again in this thread.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:05 AM on October 28, 2015 [46 favorites]
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:05 AM on October 28, 2015 [46 favorites]
Wizardry is right. I subscribed to that beauty box because I wanted to try and at least figure out to how wear nice make-up as I just always bought drugstore stuff for cheap. Any online tutorials you awesome make-up mavens of MeFi recommend?
posted by Kitteh at 10:10 AM on October 28, 2015
posted by Kitteh at 10:10 AM on October 28, 2015
I unreservedly LOVE makeup. I really want a MAKEUP EFF YEAH article that isn't tortured into an apology for wearing makeup.
posted by asockpuppet at 10:12 AM on October 28, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by asockpuppet at 10:12 AM on October 28, 2015 [16 favorites]
Any online tutorials you awesome make-up mavens of MeFi recommend?
Sharon Farrell (Sharon the Makeup Artist)
posted by asockpuppet at 10:15 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
Sharon Farrell (Sharon the Makeup Artist)
posted by asockpuppet at 10:15 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I have rosacea and hormonal acne and thinning eyebrows (not to mention a noticeably droopy right eyelid), and I still don't wear make-up. I don't *want* to be considered physically beautiful or attractive, and if bare faces with splotchy skin were suddenly en vogue I'd probably start wearing make-up to look porcelain.
I do wish that "I don't care to be admired for my looks" was considered as viable a life choice for women as it is for men, but I have no beef with women and men who want to wear make-up for whatever effect they desire.
posted by muddgirl at 10:17 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I do wish that "I don't care to be admired for my looks" was considered as viable a life choice for women as it is for men, but I have no beef with women and men who want to wear make-up for whatever effect they desire.
posted by muddgirl at 10:17 AM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Kitteh, Lisa Eldridge is the gold standard.
posted by oflinkey at 10:21 AM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by oflinkey at 10:21 AM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
"I unreservedly LOVE makeup. I really want a MAKEUP EFF YEAH article that isn't tortured into an apology for wearing makeup."
This is why some people drive BMWs, use a Mac, or go to Europe on a vacation. Nothing wrong with ANY of that.
---
But truly, my opinion doesn't mean crap.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 10:21 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is why some people drive BMWs, use a Mac, or go to Europe on a vacation. Nothing wrong with ANY of that.
---
But truly, my opinion doesn't mean crap.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 10:21 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I was a teenager in the 80s (in New Jersey also) so I wore A LOT of makeup once my mom begrudgingly let me. it was definitely partly due to bad self-esteem, and I did have problem skin but it was also OMG soooo fun!!!
I no longer wear makeup regularly (old, living in SF bay area, working at home in tech, why would I?) except eyebrow color, because I am blonde with very sparse light eyebrows. I have nice eyes and the brows really make them pop. its the only thing I WILL NOT leave the house without.
so yeah, optional makeup is fun: to buy, to play with, to apply. its art & performance & dressup but I would hate to feel like I had to, especially every day. no woman should feel that she 'needs' makeup to leave the house or be deemed sufficient to whatever the day puts before her.
posted by supermedusa at 10:22 AM on October 28, 2015
I no longer wear makeup regularly (old, living in SF bay area, working at home in tech, why would I?) except eyebrow color, because I am blonde with very sparse light eyebrows. I have nice eyes and the brows really make them pop. its the only thing I WILL NOT leave the house without.
so yeah, optional makeup is fun: to buy, to play with, to apply. its art & performance & dressup but I would hate to feel like I had to, especially every day. no woman should feel that she 'needs' makeup to leave the house or be deemed sufficient to whatever the day puts before her.
posted by supermedusa at 10:22 AM on October 28, 2015
Also, there are tons of makeup tutorials on Youtube for men who want to start wearing natural-looking make-up. I like Wayne Goss as he's both a man and a make-up artist. For example: How to Cover Acne covers pretty dark blotching with a very natural-looking end result.
posted by muddgirl at 10:24 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by muddgirl at 10:24 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I've been noticing a TV trope lately of showing powerful women taking their makeup off in a vulnerable scared time. Gillian Anderson in The Fall, Viola Davis in How To Get Away With Murder, and a bit with Kerry Washington in Scandal, etc. It is makeup and hair as armour, as courage, as mask, as camouflage. But what is underneath is vulnerable, not sexy, weak underbelly. It's an intimate scene. Intrusive maybe.
"prefer no-makeup on women" pfft get the memo, my face is not customized for the whims of random men
posted by sadmadglad at 10:30 AM on October 28, 2015 [13 favorites]
"prefer no-makeup on women" pfft get the memo, my face is not customized for the whims of random men
posted by sadmadglad at 10:30 AM on October 28, 2015 [13 favorites]
The someone with a girlfriend in the pro make up artist biz, the industry term for someone with great makeup on is "Beat Face". Which leads us to one of my favorite phrases, "Beat Face Honeys", which are girls who wear serious makeup all the time.
posted by sideshow at 10:31 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by sideshow at 10:31 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
I have noticed that men are more tractable the more you perform conventional female. It amuses the hell out of me, as an Old.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 10:34 AM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 10:34 AM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
One of my sociology classes in college assigned the following exercise: for one day, go out into the world, having used all the beauty/grooming products you own. See what you can see. The next day: go out into the world, having used nothing except soap, water, and toothpaste. See what you can see.*
A year later, I was a TA for the same class; when I read through my students' responses, I noticed that the closer someone was to the Beauty Ideal™, the less of a change there was in others' responses to them when product-less. Those who were less conventionally attractive noticed a huge spike in how much better they were treated. It was unsettling.
It was a revelation to many women and men just how much they relied on those products to construct a persona — and also how much they unconsciously treated others better and rewarded them for looking a certain way. The point of the exercise wasn't that makeup/beauty products were necessarily bad: but that you're making a deliberate choice about the degree to which you conform to society's expectations and beauty standards; and also that we judge others by a standard which we might not care to live up to.
*The results are here, for the curious.
posted by culfinglin at 10:36 AM on October 28, 2015 [14 favorites]
A year later, I was a TA for the same class; when I read through my students' responses, I noticed that the closer someone was to the Beauty Ideal™, the less of a change there was in others' responses to them when product-less. Those who were less conventionally attractive noticed a huge spike in how much better they were treated. It was unsettling.
It was a revelation to many women and men just how much they relied on those products to construct a persona — and also how much they unconsciously treated others better and rewarded them for looking a certain way. The point of the exercise wasn't that makeup/beauty products were necessarily bad: but that you're making a deliberate choice about the degree to which you conform to society's expectations and beauty standards; and also that we judge others by a standard which we might not care to live up to.
*The results are here, for the curious.
posted by culfinglin at 10:36 AM on October 28, 2015 [14 favorites]
sadmadglad there is also a scene in Skyfall where Bond surprise visits M at her home, as she is taking off her makeup. its got a similar vulnerability vibe.
posted by supermedusa at 10:37 AM on October 28, 2015
posted by supermedusa at 10:37 AM on October 28, 2015
I've been noticing a TV trope lately of showing powerful women taking their makeup off in a vulnerable scared time. [...] It is makeup and hair as armour, as courage, as mask, as camouflage. But what is underneath is vulnerable, not sexy, weak underbelly. It's an intimate scene.
Or the final scene of Dangerous Liasons.
Interestingly, one of the comments on that link claims that this last scene was Glenn Close's idea. But it makes for a really interesting mirror of the first scenes, which show her and John Malkovich being dressed and coiffed and made-up in their finery. And by some unbelievable coincidence, I first went to see DL the very same week my theater history class had covered the French Restoration period, in which a lot of the plays had a heavy focus on presenting artifice and mannerisms and how they affected society; I was in the theater with a classmate and we both sort of looked at each other in the theater and said "holy crap, this is from class!" Which really drove home the impact of that last scene.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:37 AM on October 28, 2015
Or the final scene of Dangerous Liasons.
Interestingly, one of the comments on that link claims that this last scene was Glenn Close's idea. But it makes for a really interesting mirror of the first scenes, which show her and John Malkovich being dressed and coiffed and made-up in their finery. And by some unbelievable coincidence, I first went to see DL the very same week my theater history class had covered the French Restoration period, in which a lot of the plays had a heavy focus on presenting artifice and mannerisms and how they affected society; I was in the theater with a classmate and we both sort of looked at each other in the theater and said "holy crap, this is from class!" Which really drove home the impact of that last scene.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:37 AM on October 28, 2015
I wear what seems others may consider a lot of makeup, every day. BB cream, undereye concealer, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, bronzer, highlighter, blush, powder. All of those in pretty small amounts. It takes me exactly 11 minutes every morning. I very much enjoy it and one of my favorite parts of being female is that there are socially condoned ways of drawing on your face, which is something I enjoyed doing with a magic marker when I was three.
The article made me feel very ugly, because no one reacts to my makeupface the way she claims they reacted to hers. They react to my makeupface the way they react to her normalface. I wonder what would happen if I left the house without makeupface--screams of horror?
posted by millipede at 10:46 AM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
The article made me feel very ugly, because no one reacts to my makeupface the way she claims they reacted to hers. They react to my makeupface the way they react to her normalface. I wonder what would happen if I left the house without makeupface--screams of horror?
posted by millipede at 10:46 AM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
She is a Young. Therefore her expectations of the way the world actually works hinge on how it all revolves around her. I regularly leave the house without makeup. No one really gives a crap or is looking at me unless they are someone I interact with for business or social reasons.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 10:57 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 10:57 AM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I also live in Portlandia, where people wear fairy wings to ride to the store for milk, so that may be a mitigating factor.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 10:59 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 10:59 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Wearing glasses (in my case, unusual-looking glasses) has pretty much gotten me out of having to wear eyeshadow, because you can't see eyeshadow that well behind glasses anyway.
I haven't bothered with the other stuff in a long time.
In high school I would do full-face base, powder, blush, shadow, liner, mascara (but always hated lipstick), because I was required to by 80s Law. People hardly noticed when I stopped, though. So I just...kept stopping. It was tedious to put on, touch up, take off. Expensive to buy. And seemed to contribute to my breakouts.
Last time I wore full-face was my wedding, because of pictures with the flash washing you out (and no glasses). It hasn't seemed to make a difference in how I'm treated, other than my kid telling me I look "weird" if I wear eyeliner.
posted by emjaybee at 11:00 AM on October 28, 2015
I haven't bothered with the other stuff in a long time.
In high school I would do full-face base, powder, blush, shadow, liner, mascara (but always hated lipstick), because I was required to by 80s Law. People hardly noticed when I stopped, though. So I just...kept stopping. It was tedious to put on, touch up, take off. Expensive to buy. And seemed to contribute to my breakouts.
Last time I wore full-face was my wedding, because of pictures with the flash washing you out (and no glasses). It hasn't seemed to make a difference in how I'm treated, other than my kid telling me I look "weird" if I wear eyeliner.
posted by emjaybee at 11:00 AM on October 28, 2015
My mom was always getting my sister and me makeup and putting it in our Christmas stockings as a "hint,", and we were insulted and uninterested.
Fun story: once upon a time I was invited to the White House to be an Average Citizen onstage when a big initiative was being rolled out because I had written a letter to the President about the issue involved. When I excitedly called and told my mother the news, and to watch for me on TV, all she said was "Do yourself a favor and wear a little makeup." Ouch!!!
P.S. I still don't wear makeup.
posted by Otter_Handler at 11:07 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Fun story: once upon a time I was invited to the White House to be an Average Citizen onstage when a big initiative was being rolled out because I had written a letter to the President about the issue involved. When I excitedly called and told my mother the news, and to watch for me on TV, all she said was "Do yourself a favor and wear a little makeup." Ouch!!!
P.S. I still don't wear makeup.
posted by Otter_Handler at 11:07 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
emjaybee: "Expensive to buy. "
I have actually found Birchbox is PERFECT for my makeup needs ... for $10 a month they send me sample sizes of much nicer makeup than I would buy for myself, and sometimes I use up ALMOST HALF THE SAMPLE SIZE before it expires. When I buy regular makeup, 90% of it is still in the package when I have to throw it away for age and grossness. So this actually works out really well for me!
(In a typical month, I get a moisturizer -- which I go through like whoa, I have very dry skin -- a shampoo and conditioner combo, a body wash type thing, a skin product like a mask or something, and a makeup sample.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:17 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
I have actually found Birchbox is PERFECT for my makeup needs ... for $10 a month they send me sample sizes of much nicer makeup than I would buy for myself, and sometimes I use up ALMOST HALF THE SAMPLE SIZE before it expires. When I buy regular makeup, 90% of it is still in the package when I have to throw it away for age and grossness. So this actually works out really well for me!
(In a typical month, I get a moisturizer -- which I go through like whoa, I have very dry skin -- a shampoo and conditioner combo, a body wash type thing, a skin product like a mask or something, and a makeup sample.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:17 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
I go through phases of wearing makeup and not wearing makeup, and I definitely notice better treatment when I'm in a makeup wearing phase vs bare face. Especially because I'm pretty pale with light eyes and blonde eyebrows and lashes... if I don't fill in my eyebrows and darken them up just a little bit, they're basically invisible.
The thing is, I can't tell if I'm treated a little bit better when I'm wearing makeup because people perceive me as more attractive that way, or because I'm exuding more confidence while wearing my face-armor. It sort of goes hand in hand with dressing a little bit more nicely, and not being able to tell if favorable reactions are due to the way I look or the way I'm carrying myself with more confidence.
posted by palomar at 11:18 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
The thing is, I can't tell if I'm treated a little bit better when I'm wearing makeup because people perceive me as more attractive that way, or because I'm exuding more confidence while wearing my face-armor. It sort of goes hand in hand with dressing a little bit more nicely, and not being able to tell if favorable reactions are due to the way I look or the way I'm carrying myself with more confidence.
posted by palomar at 11:18 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
I love makeup, but do struggle with feeling a bit anxious (at least at first) if I go out without any on at all, even just to the store or something. I'm 39, you'd think I would have that figured out by now but I guess not; I feel very vulnerable without it. But I am very practiced at applying it and can do my everyday face in like 6 minutes or so.
On special occasions, when I take a good long time to apply makeup, my boyfriend always exclaims, "Man, I'm so glad I don't have to do all that to get ready." But what I have been unable to convey to him is that like some others here, I enjoy sitting down at my makeup table and taking the time to do a really good, precise job of applying my makeup. I like experimenting with heavier eyeshadows than I would wear daily, or going super glam with my eyeliner technique.
Last week I was working a professional conference hosted by the company I work for. I was speaking to a fellow staffer as we were taking tickets for one of the evening events, and she shared that another staff person warned her she'd better put on makeup or she'd get "in trouble" with the VP in charge of the conference. Now, I've never heard such a thing but I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.
posted by misskaz at 11:21 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
On special occasions, when I take a good long time to apply makeup, my boyfriend always exclaims, "Man, I'm so glad I don't have to do all that to get ready." But what I have been unable to convey to him is that like some others here, I enjoy sitting down at my makeup table and taking the time to do a really good, precise job of applying my makeup. I like experimenting with heavier eyeshadows than I would wear daily, or going super glam with my eyeliner technique.
Last week I was working a professional conference hosted by the company I work for. I was speaking to a fellow staffer as we were taking tickets for one of the evening events, and she shared that another staff person warned her she'd better put on makeup or she'd get "in trouble" with the VP in charge of the conference. Now, I've never heard such a thing but I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.
posted by misskaz at 11:21 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yo Eyebrows, I'm a let you get Birchbox but Ipsy gives you more and bigger makeup and fewer dumb lifestyle items.
(I get both)
posted by asockpuppet at 11:26 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
(I get both)
posted by asockpuppet at 11:26 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Many times in my life I have been alone, the only one taking care of myself. That is one way I did it. I still do, and it still relaxes me.
I too feel like this about the make up ritual. I like the little brushes sweeping across my face. I don't spend a ton of time on it and if pressed can do it in five minutes, but I often drag the process out and correct flaws that aren't really there or add flourishes (you wouldn't be able to tell, I'm a boring middle aged woman; I'm not doing smokey eyes or anything).
This is literally the only real time that is private and mine and thoroughly and selfishly and shallowly About Me all day. Everything else is for my family, my job, our pets etc etc.
It seems so trivial and shallow to write 'I like little paintbrushes sweeping across my face' but I do like little paintbrushes sweeping across my face. A lot of the products are lightly perfumed, and it's after I've showered and gotten dressed, and it's as together as I'm going to feel all day.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 11:32 AM on October 28, 2015 [17 favorites]
I too feel like this about the make up ritual. I like the little brushes sweeping across my face. I don't spend a ton of time on it and if pressed can do it in five minutes, but I often drag the process out and correct flaws that aren't really there or add flourishes (you wouldn't be able to tell, I'm a boring middle aged woman; I'm not doing smokey eyes or anything).
This is literally the only real time that is private and mine and thoroughly and selfishly and shallowly About Me all day. Everything else is for my family, my job, our pets etc etc.
It seems so trivial and shallow to write 'I like little paintbrushes sweeping across my face' but I do like little paintbrushes sweeping across my face. A lot of the products are lightly perfumed, and it's after I've showered and gotten dressed, and it's as together as I'm going to feel all day.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 11:32 AM on October 28, 2015 [17 favorites]
Oh, also importantly: I am often gloriously alone when I do this. Otherwise, I'm alone only when I pee, pretty much.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 11:34 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by A Terrible Llama at 11:34 AM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I can't tell if I'm treated a little bit better when I'm wearing makeup because people perceive me as more attractive that way, or because I'm exuding more confidence while wearing my face-armor.
This is true. When I feel I've done a good job on my makeup/outfit/whatever I often bust through the door when I get home and shout to my boyfriend how awesome I am. I honestly like that feeling of slamming open a door and announcing my greatness much more than any praise anyone else could give (and yes I do this for non-physical accomplishments too).
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:37 AM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
This is true. When I feel I've done a good job on my makeup/outfit/whatever I often bust through the door when I get home and shout to my boyfriend how awesome I am. I honestly like that feeling of slamming open a door and announcing my greatness much more than any praise anyone else could give (and yes I do this for non-physical accomplishments too).
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:37 AM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
I'm in and around academia, so no makeup is very much normalized in my usual milieu. It's sort of bizzaro-world because in a lot of disciplines (esp. STEM), a woman wearing noticeable makeup is perceived as not as serious and not as competent.
My makeup feelings are complicated. It's not inherently bad, it's just pigment, but it's very tightly wound up in performances of gender that can be oppressive.
posted by soren_lorensen at 11:52 AM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
My makeup feelings are complicated. It's not inherently bad, it's just pigment, but it's very tightly wound up in performances of gender that can be oppressive.
posted by soren_lorensen at 11:52 AM on October 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
I am blessed with nice skin and enough of whatever maps to the beauty standard that I don't feel like I have to wear makeup to feel attractive, but when I make the time to do it right...wow...the world opens up in ways that catch me off guard. The world becomes more simultaneously more exciting and extremely more dangerous. I've had men approach me for sex and both men and women verbally abuse me saying that I'm a freak/disgusting/"really a man"/tranny, etc. The weird thing is how volatile the world becomes when I wear makeup. Positive or negative it seems to be a powerful catalyst for unpredictable reactions from people in my case. Because of that I mostly stick to mascara these days and haven't touched my brushes in almost a year, which bums me out because I enjoy the beautiful look I can achieve with makeup, I just can't handle the way society responds.
posted by Annika Cicada at 11:54 AM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by Annika Cicada at 11:54 AM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
My friend Chantal constantly remarks that it is amazing how much make-up she puts on just to look like she isn't wearing any. I usually use: a bit of foundation, pressed powder, clear mascara, black eyeliner (I haven't figured out how to utilizie eyeshadow to an effect that isn't ghastly and sunken), and some pinkish lippy.
posted by Kitteh at 11:55 AM on October 28, 2015
posted by Kitteh at 11:55 AM on October 28, 2015
The last time I put on lipstick, I was newly divorced and 42. I thought I might try some and threw it in my labcoat pocket on the way out the door to work. Work started at 5AM so after breakfast I ducked into the staff bathroom, and put the lipstick on by feel, I had lost some weight and pushing up my reading glasses for the reveal, I shrieked involuntarily, because looking at me from the mirror was my middle aged Dad in drag. I couldn't get the lipstick off fast enough, by that time I was laughing hard, and silently.
posted by Oyéah at 11:58 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Oyéah at 11:58 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
This is so, so regional, too. I lived most of my life in Los Angeles but recently moved to the Pacific Northwest and actually did a double take when I saw a grown woman who was blonde with blonde eyelashes, without mascara, at work. Literally I had never seen an adult woman with blonde eyelashes before in my life. I actually kinda thought it was something people grew out of at puberty.
posted by town of cats at 11:59 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by town of cats at 11:59 AM on October 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
The thing about makeup is that it always seems like such a good idea.
I see, say, a Buzzfeed post about elaborate eyeshadow art, and decide that yes, this will be the day that I finally learn how to master eye makeup. I go to Boots and become entranced by the eyeshadow compacts and mascara and eyeliner, and I buy some.
Then I get it home and it just feels like I've bought an obligation. I can't put on eyeliner without my blink reflex going crazy, and I have no skill in blending eyeshadow. I don't have the skill to draw on my face in a socially acceptable way (unless crazy toddler scribble becomes a fashion), and eventually I decide I'm better off drawing on paper and I put the makeup in a drawer.
Six months later, the cycle starts again, except maybe it starts with lipstick this time. And I think I can just use the mascara I bought six months ago with it... but apparently it's teeming with germs after six months, so if I want longer eyelashes and not an eye infection, I have to buy more. Maybe I could look up some tutorials on how to apply makeup more efficiently, but they always seem aimed at people who have a steady hand and the willingness to buy products I didn't know existed (what's lip primer? Why do you need to buy a special primer for your lips? This is a scam, right?), so they're a no-go.
And it all seems like such a lot of effort for something I have no talent for, a lot of effort to achieve a natural look I prefer to achieve by not putting on any makeup at all, a lot of effort that also costs a lot of money I shouldn't have to spend, a lot of effort to potentially be treated a little better by others while treating myself worse by getting frustrated at my own lack of skill... I mean, I don't begrudge anyone putting on makeup if they want, but for me? I like my face as it is, with my soap-and-water beauty regime. No-one tells me that I look tired or ill as I am. I've very occasionally been treated as though I'm ungirly for having no love for makeup, but as I've never bonded over a love for makeup I don't care. And after writing all that about my experience with makeup, I think I just might have put an end to the six-monthly makeup buying crisis.
posted by Rissa at 12:02 PM on October 28, 2015 [10 favorites]
I see, say, a Buzzfeed post about elaborate eyeshadow art, and decide that yes, this will be the day that I finally learn how to master eye makeup. I go to Boots and become entranced by the eyeshadow compacts and mascara and eyeliner, and I buy some.
Then I get it home and it just feels like I've bought an obligation. I can't put on eyeliner without my blink reflex going crazy, and I have no skill in blending eyeshadow. I don't have the skill to draw on my face in a socially acceptable way (unless crazy toddler scribble becomes a fashion), and eventually I decide I'm better off drawing on paper and I put the makeup in a drawer.
Six months later, the cycle starts again, except maybe it starts with lipstick this time. And I think I can just use the mascara I bought six months ago with it... but apparently it's teeming with germs after six months, so if I want longer eyelashes and not an eye infection, I have to buy more. Maybe I could look up some tutorials on how to apply makeup more efficiently, but they always seem aimed at people who have a steady hand and the willingness to buy products I didn't know existed (what's lip primer? Why do you need to buy a special primer for your lips? This is a scam, right?), so they're a no-go.
And it all seems like such a lot of effort for something I have no talent for, a lot of effort to achieve a natural look I prefer to achieve by not putting on any makeup at all, a lot of effort that also costs a lot of money I shouldn't have to spend, a lot of effort to potentially be treated a little better by others while treating myself worse by getting frustrated at my own lack of skill... I mean, I don't begrudge anyone putting on makeup if they want, but for me? I like my face as it is, with my soap-and-water beauty regime. No-one tells me that I look tired or ill as I am. I've very occasionally been treated as though I'm ungirly for having no love for makeup, but as I've never bonded over a love for makeup I don't care. And after writing all that about my experience with makeup, I think I just might have put an end to the six-monthly makeup buying crisis.
posted by Rissa at 12:02 PM on October 28, 2015 [10 favorites]
I shrieked involuntarily, because looking at me from the mirror was my middle aged Dad in drag. I couldn't get the lipstick off fast enough, by that time I was laughing hard, and silently.
Which is the same reason why I can't wear makeup in public...Please don't make comments like this.
posted by Annika Cicada at 12:12 PM on October 28, 2015 [29 favorites]
Which is the same reason why I can't wear makeup in public...Please don't make comments like this.
posted by Annika Cicada at 12:12 PM on October 28, 2015 [29 favorites]
I'm in and around academia, so no makeup is very much normalized in my usual milieu. It's sort of bizzaro-world because in a lot of disciplines (esp. STEM), a woman wearing noticeable makeup is perceived as not as serious and not as competent.
I work in STEM and academia and the women around me wear various amounts of makeup from none to a lot and no one seems to care. Same as when I worked in industry and in business and in a factory. I can't help wondering how much all this makeup hangup is US based since gender norms in general there seem so overt and strict there based on what gets shown to us outside.
posted by shelleycat at 12:26 PM on October 28, 2015
I work in STEM and academia and the women around me wear various amounts of makeup from none to a lot and no one seems to care. Same as when I worked in industry and in business and in a factory. I can't help wondering how much all this makeup hangup is US based since gender norms in general there seem so overt and strict there based on what gets shown to us outside.
posted by shelleycat at 12:26 PM on October 28, 2015
I really like wearing makeup, I like that I can make my face look basically the same whether I just slept comfortably for 12 hours or tossed and turned all night and am also sick, I like trying different colors of eyeshadow and new products. But it does take time and a lot of money, as the article author says. I think it would be awesome if wearing makeup were both completely optional and 0% gendered, because until that is true, there will always be a part of me that isn't doing it just for fun, but because of societal expectations to do so. There will always be a part of me that is paranoid that other people are making judgments and assumptions about me for not doing it "exactly right," like that time I politely declined a free mascara sample at bluemercury because I hate the way mascara feels on my eye parts and another customer randomly entered the conversation and started trying to suggest stuff to me, because she just couldn't possibly imagine how I wouldn't want to wear any kind of mascara at all. It was super bizarre, but I just wonder how many people I encounter are thinking but not saying it.
posted by capricorn at 12:32 PM on October 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by capricorn at 12:32 PM on October 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
A couple years ago, I decided to do a month-long experiment where I wore makeup every day and made an effort to dress "nicer." The results weren't incredibly dramatic - it wasn't as though people started waving me to the fronts of lines or anything - but it was noticeable enough to disconcert me a bit. Just a little change in the atmosphere: more smiles, more hellos, more you-look-nice-todays. I know, you're probably thinking "Well, what's wrong with that? Sounds nice." At first it was. But it slowly dawned on me that I was being looked at, in a way I hadn't been before. Or perhaps people had always been looking at me, but only now found me worthy of notice or approval. Either way, I found it invasive and uncomfortable and I hated constantly being reminded that other people were looking. I preferred being invisible.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2015 [17 favorites]
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2015 [17 favorites]
and a little moment of enjoyable self-care and private time it gives me every morning
This! I could put on my makeup in three minutes, but if I only have three minutes, I'll often just skip it entirely. I usually spend 15-30 minutes sitting at my vanity, listening to podcasts or the radio, and playing around with makeup. I like having lots of options, and I like trying new techniques. I use a lot of different products on a daily basis, and I spend a significant amount of time & money on my makeup hobby. Every aspect of it - shopping for products, learning about them, applying makeup, removing makeup - is fun and relaxing for me.
That said, I hate that makeup is seen as mandatory for [many] women and unacceptable for [most] men. It makes me sad that so many women dislike makeup but feel they need use it anyway (and certainly agree that for that many women in many situations, makeup is more or less obligatory).
(As for youtube tutorials, I'm going to second Lisa Eldrige, especially her basics videos. She's a little more prescriptive than I'd like, and tends to assume that everyone wears makeup to look "better" in a very conventional way, but her technique is great and I love her voice. She also just wrote a really neat book on the history of makeup. )
posted by insectosaurus at 12:48 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
This! I could put on my makeup in three minutes, but if I only have three minutes, I'll often just skip it entirely. I usually spend 15-30 minutes sitting at my vanity, listening to podcasts or the radio, and playing around with makeup. I like having lots of options, and I like trying new techniques. I use a lot of different products on a daily basis, and I spend a significant amount of time & money on my makeup hobby. Every aspect of it - shopping for products, learning about them, applying makeup, removing makeup - is fun and relaxing for me.
That said, I hate that makeup is seen as mandatory for [many] women and unacceptable for [most] men. It makes me sad that so many women dislike makeup but feel they need use it anyway (and certainly agree that for that many women in many situations, makeup is more or less obligatory).
(As for youtube tutorials, I'm going to second Lisa Eldrige, especially her basics videos. She's a little more prescriptive than I'd like, and tends to assume that everyone wears makeup to look "better" in a very conventional way, but her technique is great and I love her voice. She also just wrote a really neat book on the history of makeup. )
posted by insectosaurus at 12:48 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
When I go places, I don't look at people, don't try to start conversations. I have no personal stake in how other people behave. It is pleasant to be around pleasant people. I asume they are pleasant by nature, regardless of whether I make an effort to "look nice." I went over to another state at my birthday to watch my grandson over a long event, and to see my daughter. I was talking about what I was taking over there to wear, regular clothes and maybe one nice outfit for my birthday. My friend said that I should dress as nicely as possible for the whole time. This was like a huge WHUT? moment. That kind of thing would never cross my mind. So, I did it, I guess it makes others feel better about you, and shows respect in some way. I have always bought clothing to blend in, like camouflage, comfortable social camouflage.
With regard to Dad, he was 6'5" and spent most of his adult life doing a John Wayne, cowboy hat included. I look a lot like him. I am socially reclusive, wearing anything more than eyeliner and comfortable innocuous clothing, invites more than I want to deal with. I don't fall on "The Spectrum."
Having to wear corporate makeup, or any makeup at all for work is just same old patriarchal drill, having to look like you buy into the importance of appeal, gives a green light for harrassment, and diminishes the importance of the real work people are paid to accomplish. I have had more than a couple of locals in public places start small talk and complain or coach about smiling, as if I have to pretend to value being hit on in a public place. Utah/male privilege, it is strange to say the very least.
posted by Oyéah at 1:07 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
With regard to Dad, he was 6'5" and spent most of his adult life doing a John Wayne, cowboy hat included. I look a lot like him. I am socially reclusive, wearing anything more than eyeliner and comfortable innocuous clothing, invites more than I want to deal with. I don't fall on "The Spectrum."
Having to wear corporate makeup, or any makeup at all for work is just same old patriarchal drill, having to look like you buy into the importance of appeal, gives a green light for harrassment, and diminishes the importance of the real work people are paid to accomplish. I have had more than a couple of locals in public places start small talk and complain or coach about smiling, as if I have to pretend to value being hit on in a public place. Utah/male privilege, it is strange to say the very least.
posted by Oyéah at 1:07 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
One of the things I find interesting is that nobody seems to consider the possible health effects of cosmetics. These products contain hundreds of ingredients, many of which may be toxic, and there is little to no regulatory oversight in making sure that these ingredients are safe. I am not aware of any long-term studies done on cosmetics safety, especially when combined together (as they often are). Skin is porous, and the chemicals we put on it may be traveling further than we think within our systems.
"FDA does not have the legal authority to approve cosmetic products and ingredients (other than color additives) before they go on the market. We also do not have a list of tests required for any particular cosmetic product or ingredient. "
If women want to apply makeup because it is fun or they enjoy it, have at it! But to me, the fact that we are expected to plaster our faces with possible carcinogens in order to be considered socially acceptable or attractive makes it all the more galling.
posted by Feyala at 1:12 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
"FDA does not have the legal authority to approve cosmetic products and ingredients (other than color additives) before they go on the market. We also do not have a list of tests required for any particular cosmetic product or ingredient. "
If women want to apply makeup because it is fun or they enjoy it, have at it! But to me, the fact that we are expected to plaster our faces with possible carcinogens in order to be considered socially acceptable or attractive makes it all the more galling.
posted by Feyala at 1:12 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Her comments on how her friends were trying out makeup when she was younger and then how much longer it took her to try makeup made me realize for the first time that the tropes of girls "blossoming" over summer vacation, or women who are "late bloomers" are total gross bullshit.
I was a late bloomer, in fact. I didn't even figure out how to have non-greasy hair until my mid-20s. But I didn't just become pretty one day - I put forth a lot of work figuring out how to put on makeup and then find the skincare and concealers and foundations that didn't make me break out further, find the mascara that didn't flake and look ridiculous, find the eye shadow that doesn't smudge, the lipsticks and glosses that don't smudge and look good with my eye shadow, the eyeliner that would let me do a perfect winged eye (jk, no such eyeliner exists and no human is capable of doing a winged eye). Same for skin care, eyebrow threading, hair care and maintenance and styling, sun protection, same for learning how to diet in a sustainable way to keep my weight at an acceptable level while not starving to death while exercising enough to be in shape but not enough to look strong - all of that effort I put in to learn how to be attractive, and I'm still considered a "late bloomer" like I just woke up pretty one day. I don't wake up pretty any day.
Women aren't supposed to talk about how much work this is. I think brilliant public feminists like Amy Schumer are doing good work in highlighting that, yes, most of those women you tell they don't need makeup are already wearing makeup. But there's another aspect to this, and I think it's shame - I don't talk about how much effort it is to look attractive because I'm still not as attractive as I should be to justify all that time and effort, just enough to be pretty enough to not have doors slammed in my face.
I think admitting to how much work this is is embarrassing to women because the male fantasy of beauty is almost always a completely passive one - the girl who's just naturally becoming a beautiful woman, the librarian who's beautiful behind her glasses, and of course the girl who eats all she wants and never gets acne or gains weight. "High-maintenance" women - that is, women who take longer to get ready in the morning/night than men do, or women who eat salads instead of cheeseburgers (or lately, who are evil paleo bitches who ONLY eat cheeseburgers or other weird diets and dare to talk about how they're dieting) - well, men who are attracted to high-maintenance women are considered to be just as shallow as men who admit they're attracted to women who've had obvious cosmetic surgery.
The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced there's no such thing as late bloomers - we're just women who give in to the pressure of a daily makeup routine later than other women.
posted by susoka at 1:37 PM on October 28, 2015 [37 favorites]
I was a late bloomer, in fact. I didn't even figure out how to have non-greasy hair until my mid-20s. But I didn't just become pretty one day - I put forth a lot of work figuring out how to put on makeup and then find the skincare and concealers and foundations that didn't make me break out further, find the mascara that didn't flake and look ridiculous, find the eye shadow that doesn't smudge, the lipsticks and glosses that don't smudge and look good with my eye shadow, the eyeliner that would let me do a perfect winged eye (jk, no such eyeliner exists and no human is capable of doing a winged eye). Same for skin care, eyebrow threading, hair care and maintenance and styling, sun protection, same for learning how to diet in a sustainable way to keep my weight at an acceptable level while not starving to death while exercising enough to be in shape but not enough to look strong - all of that effort I put in to learn how to be attractive, and I'm still considered a "late bloomer" like I just woke up pretty one day. I don't wake up pretty any day.
Women aren't supposed to talk about how much work this is. I think brilliant public feminists like Amy Schumer are doing good work in highlighting that, yes, most of those women you tell they don't need makeup are already wearing makeup. But there's another aspect to this, and I think it's shame - I don't talk about how much effort it is to look attractive because I'm still not as attractive as I should be to justify all that time and effort, just enough to be pretty enough to not have doors slammed in my face.
I think admitting to how much work this is is embarrassing to women because the male fantasy of beauty is almost always a completely passive one - the girl who's just naturally becoming a beautiful woman, the librarian who's beautiful behind her glasses, and of course the girl who eats all she wants and never gets acne or gains weight. "High-maintenance" women - that is, women who take longer to get ready in the morning/night than men do, or women who eat salads instead of cheeseburgers (or lately, who are evil paleo bitches who ONLY eat cheeseburgers or other weird diets and dare to talk about how they're dieting) - well, men who are attracted to high-maintenance women are considered to be just as shallow as men who admit they're attracted to women who've had obvious cosmetic surgery.
The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced there's no such thing as late bloomers - we're just women who give in to the pressure of a daily makeup routine later than other women.
posted by susoka at 1:37 PM on October 28, 2015 [37 favorites]
I work in STEM and academia and the women around me wear various amounts of makeup from none to a lot and no one seems to care.
I think that's the same for me, although as one of the non-wearers of make-up, I can't speak for the women who do. I do appreciate working somewhere I can dress casually and wear no make-up, for sure.
My favorite make-up memory is from high school, when I was kinda Goth, and wore blush around my eyes for a few months, to look as sickly as possible.
In my earlier 20s I figured out the more makeup I wore out to a bar or party, the more I got hit on by random guys. I was usually in a relationship then and didn't want the attention so make-up slid over from "fun" to "not worth it."
As I aged, my interest in spending time on my looks or fiddling with myself in front of a mirror really diminished, such that by age 30 I was no make-up, hair in a ponytail, jeans and a t-shirt everyday person.
I like to polish my toe nails, and do spend a little time on my hair. I also pluck my eyebrows and have my hairdresser dye them when she does my hair, but I can't imagine I'll find make-up fun or worth even 5 minutes of my time ever again.
posted by Squeak Attack at 2:12 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think that's the same for me, although as one of the non-wearers of make-up, I can't speak for the women who do. I do appreciate working somewhere I can dress casually and wear no make-up, for sure.
My favorite make-up memory is from high school, when I was kinda Goth, and wore blush around my eyes for a few months, to look as sickly as possible.
In my earlier 20s I figured out the more makeup I wore out to a bar or party, the more I got hit on by random guys. I was usually in a relationship then and didn't want the attention so make-up slid over from "fun" to "not worth it."
As I aged, my interest in spending time on my looks or fiddling with myself in front of a mirror really diminished, such that by age 30 I was no make-up, hair in a ponytail, jeans and a t-shirt everyday person.
I like to polish my toe nails, and do spend a little time on my hair. I also pluck my eyebrows and have my hairdresser dye them when she does my hair, but I can't imagine I'll find make-up fun or worth even 5 minutes of my time ever again.
posted by Squeak Attack at 2:12 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm thinking that Oyeah means the Gender Spectrum in this context, not the Autism Spectrum, stoneweaver?
posted by Annika Cicada at 2:17 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by Annika Cicada at 2:17 PM on October 28, 2015
My first piece of makeup was some mascara I shoplifted from a department store as a young teenager. As I was leaving, I knocked over a stand of lipsticks. Stopping to help the sales assistant pick up the lipsticks, she told me I'd have a surprise waiting for me when I got home. As I later learned, it's just a nice phrase to say to someone helpful but I thought she meant the police would be waiting to arrest me.
Anyway, I got home and found out my father had died that day. The house was a mess of people, silences and my siblings and I walking around in a daze. Every now and again my brain would shut off from grief and I would try the mascara. Minutes later, the tears would come again and black drips would stain my face.
Two main things I remember from that day are my mother telling me that my father had died and my mother yelling at me to wash my face.
As such, I have never been much of a makeup person.
posted by Thella at 2:32 PM on October 28, 2015 [12 favorites]
Anyway, I got home and found out my father had died that day. The house was a mess of people, silences and my siblings and I walking around in a daze. Every now and again my brain would shut off from grief and I would try the mascara. Minutes later, the tears would come again and black drips would stain my face.
Two main things I remember from that day are my mother telling me that my father had died and my mother yelling at me to wash my face.
As such, I have never been much of a makeup person.
posted by Thella at 2:32 PM on October 28, 2015 [12 favorites]
I probably wear the most makeup among all my female relatives and friends, and I don't even wear foundation (thanks, Retin A). In my case it is absolutely has to do with self-esteem--as a teenager I was overweight, and as an adult I have pretty lacklustre skin. I don't care if other people find me attractive and I haven't been able to tell if I get treated differently with or without makeup, but I was just bummed by how I looked next to these makeup-free women in photos. It doesn't take much for me to feel better about my face--defined eyebrows and concealer improves things considerably--but as I got into makeup more, it became another source of self-knowledge. Knowing how far I should extend my brows and eyeliner, which colours look good and which don't, finally understanding my skin undertones etc have been extremely satisfactory. I have more tolerance of my facial imperfections and asymmetry because I know that in a pinch, I can forget about those by playing up my best features.
I suppose I'm extremely fortunate in that I've never received an unsolicited opinion about my makeup. Either no-one in my circle cares, or are too polite to say so, in which case, bless them! I did have a gratifying experience once when I was asked about the products I was wearing by a stranger I recognized instantly as a fellow makeup enthusiast. She was excited, I was excited, and we spent a good 15 minutes getting each other worked up about makeup.
One of the things I find interesting is that nobody seems to consider the possible health effects of cosmetics. These products contain hundreds of ingredients, many of which may be toxic, and there is little to no regulatory oversight in making sure that these ingredients are safe.
It is one risk among many that I face on a regular basis, and I'm pretty comfortable with it the way I'm comfortable with consuming red meat, taking hormonal contraceptives, and passing through those stupid x-ray body screeners at airports several times a year. There are definitely more "natural" cosmetic options these days that are based on botanical oils and extracts, but in my experience, they work best on those with normal or dry skins.
My favorite make-up memory is from high school, when I was kinda Goth, and wore blush around my eyes for a few months, to look as sickly as possible.
This is currently trending in Japan! I've heard it described as "hangover makeup" and it was popularized by Igari Shinobu. Ugh, I love it so much but I'm too old and my undereye area is too puffy for me to pull this off successfully.
posted by peripathetic at 2:54 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
I suppose I'm extremely fortunate in that I've never received an unsolicited opinion about my makeup. Either no-one in my circle cares, or are too polite to say so, in which case, bless them! I did have a gratifying experience once when I was asked about the products I was wearing by a stranger I recognized instantly as a fellow makeup enthusiast. She was excited, I was excited, and we spent a good 15 minutes getting each other worked up about makeup.
One of the things I find interesting is that nobody seems to consider the possible health effects of cosmetics. These products contain hundreds of ingredients, many of which may be toxic, and there is little to no regulatory oversight in making sure that these ingredients are safe.
It is one risk among many that I face on a regular basis, and I'm pretty comfortable with it the way I'm comfortable with consuming red meat, taking hormonal contraceptives, and passing through those stupid x-ray body screeners at airports several times a year. There are definitely more "natural" cosmetic options these days that are based on botanical oils and extracts, but in my experience, they work best on those with normal or dry skins.
My favorite make-up memory is from high school, when I was kinda Goth, and wore blush around my eyes for a few months, to look as sickly as possible.
This is currently trending in Japan! I've heard it described as "hangover makeup" and it was popularized by Igari Shinobu. Ugh, I love it so much but I'm too old and my undereye area is too puffy for me to pull this off successfully.
posted by peripathetic at 2:54 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is currently trending in Japan!
I had no idea my 80s teen self was so fashion forward!
posted by Squeak Attack at 3:03 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I had no idea my 80s teen self was so fashion forward!
posted by Squeak Attack at 3:03 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I also crave a version of this article written by someone who LOVES makeup and enjoys it. I was a very long time no-makeup wearer. My ex said he wished I would wear makeup and how much prettier I'd be with it, and I was like NOPE and purposely didn't. Then at 35, I thought it might be nice to look like I was sometimes well rested. Then last year, I was out of work, and spent a lot of time watching tutorials and trying things. Then suddenly things clicked and I got how to do it. It's my most favorite hobby, and I like the ability to make my face look different and to reinvent myself whenever and however I'm feeling that day. It's how I am brave enough to take on hard days some days. Today I am a goth supervillain with bright green on my inner corners.
None of this takes away from the fact that the whole idea of makeup as a requirement or not depending on jobs is awful. But it's really frustrating to realize that no matter what, as a woman, you either aren't wearing enough makeup and aren't looking appropriate, or are wearing too much makeup and aren't authentic enough, or are fake (see: memes of women in before and afters with the note "this is why you take her swimming on the first date"). Even this article, which I really enjoyed parts of, made me feel like I was somehow wronging women everywhere by embracing my love of lipstick and glitter.
posted by Nimmie Amee at 3:07 PM on October 28, 2015 [27 favorites]
None of this takes away from the fact that the whole idea of makeup as a requirement or not depending on jobs is awful. But it's really frustrating to realize that no matter what, as a woman, you either aren't wearing enough makeup and aren't looking appropriate, or are wearing too much makeup and aren't authentic enough, or are fake (see: memes of women in before and afters with the note "this is why you take her swimming on the first date"). Even this article, which I really enjoyed parts of, made me feel like I was somehow wronging women everywhere by embracing my love of lipstick and glitter.
posted by Nimmie Amee at 3:07 PM on October 28, 2015 [27 favorites]
Good thread! Could someone link to something good about basics of makeup application? Something that gets things right, in your estimation? Thanks!
posted by persona au gratin at 3:19 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by persona au gratin at 3:19 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Just saw the Lisa Eldrige above. I will check it out.
posted by persona au gratin at 3:28 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by persona au gratin at 3:28 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I like colour, though it's been a while since I've messed around with it too much. I've got my palette set, and my routine is down to 3 minutes, I like that. I also have rosacea, and other little things that come with age. (A lot of women who are stridently anti-makeup for political reasons are young, I've noticed. To that, I say, watch your chrono-privilege, ladies.) Also, I'm looking for work. And, I'm single, and interested in maybe meeting someone, or even just in thinking of myself as an attractive person. I could do without the double standard, sure, but I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with wanting to look attractive, whatever society makes that mean to people. Grooming and beautification aren't things Revlon made up, people (and monkeys) have been doing it for ages, and wanting to enjoy the positive regard of others (and self) isn't a crime, it's a fairly common condition.
Basically, I'm not going to begrudge myself whatever armour I need to get by. (I'm not unable to leave the house without, but I'd rather not, with the exception of times makeup gets in the way somehow or other [e.g. exams].)
jeff-o-matic and persona au gratin, you can get tips at Sephora.
(jeff-o-matic - the key to natural and effective coverage is a high-pigment concealer, matched very well to your skin tone, that's moisturizing enough to not look chalky or flaky, blended well. (Using fingertips is fine, imo, it warms the high-pigment stuff up enough to spread it around thinly and evenly, with some practice.) Lots of dudes do it.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:48 PM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
Basically, I'm not going to begrudge myself whatever armour I need to get by. (I'm not unable to leave the house without, but I'd rather not, with the exception of times makeup gets in the way somehow or other [e.g. exams].)
jeff-o-matic and persona au gratin, you can get tips at Sephora.
(jeff-o-matic - the key to natural and effective coverage is a high-pigment concealer, matched very well to your skin tone, that's moisturizing enough to not look chalky or flaky, blended well. (Using fingertips is fine, imo, it warms the high-pigment stuff up enough to spread it around thinly and evenly, with some practice.) Lots of dudes do it.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:48 PM on October 28, 2015 [7 favorites]
BTW- for folks with rosacea- I get it too sometimes, and have found that some overnight coconut oil can help a ton.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 3:53 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 3:53 PM on October 28, 2015
I also crave a version of this article written by someone who LOVES makeup and enjoys it.
Check virtually any beauty site on the internets?
posted by Squeak Attack at 3:53 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Check virtually any beauty site on the internets?
posted by Squeak Attack at 3:53 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Maybe I should reframe this: I would like to see a version of this article posted on a non-beauty site given the weight of the articles like this one.
posted by Nimmie Amee at 3:57 PM on October 28, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by Nimmie Amee at 3:57 PM on October 28, 2015 [13 favorites]
Sephora has vegan friendly make-up, IIRC. Maybe I should treat myself to having make-up done. At least they can show me how to do it better!
posted by Kitteh at 4:11 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by Kitteh at 4:11 PM on October 28, 2015
My two tips for getting your makeup done at a beauty counter:
1) pick someone whose own makeup you like. If someone has a really strong, made-up look there's a good chance she'll do something similar for you, likewise if they're understated.
2) be specific about what you want. "Just make me look different/natural etc" is really vague. My "natural" and yours may be wildly different. So "How can I best define my eyes/I'd like my skin to look matte or dewy/I'd like to learn how to contour my cheekbones etc" is more helpful.
And never feel pressured to buy. Ask them to write down what they used and say you want to wear it for an hour or two in different lights before you decide. (And if you're being nice ask them to write their name so you can ask for them specifically if you do go back. Commission isn't always as good as you'd think - it was 1-2% when I worked the counter - but spending an hour with someone only for your colleague to get the sale is painful.) Unless you fall in love with something immediately in which case have fun with your new plaything!
posted by billiebee at 4:36 PM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
1) pick someone whose own makeup you like. If someone has a really strong, made-up look there's a good chance she'll do something similar for you, likewise if they're understated.
2) be specific about what you want. "Just make me look different/natural etc" is really vague. My "natural" and yours may be wildly different. So "How can I best define my eyes/I'd like my skin to look matte or dewy/I'd like to learn how to contour my cheekbones etc" is more helpful.
And never feel pressured to buy. Ask them to write down what they used and say you want to wear it for an hour or two in different lights before you decide. (And if you're being nice ask them to write their name so you can ask for them specifically if you do go back. Commission isn't always as good as you'd think - it was 1-2% when I worked the counter - but spending an hour with someone only for your colleague to get the sale is painful.) Unless you fall in love with something immediately in which case have fun with your new plaything!
posted by billiebee at 4:36 PM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
It never even occurs to me to put on makeup, and I get shirty thinking about how much extra stuff women "have to" buy when we make so much less than men on average.
posted by thebrokedown at 4:53 PM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by thebrokedown at 4:53 PM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
As someone who's had a delayed skin reaction to products applied during a beauty counter makeover I strongly advise waiting to buy or double-checking the return policy as a general principle.
I had to teach myself how to makeup competently in my mind/late twenties, and I've more or less gotten the hang of "natural but better" in both everyday and full face forms, but I can't seem to find a more visible makeup look that doesn't make me feel like a clown* -- I can more or less convince myself to leave the house wearing lightly tinted balm or a very light tint of eyeshadow that's not a near match to my skin color, but that's as far as it goes. I even chose my new glasses frames in part because I thought they would look better with dramatic makeup than my previous wireframe ones if I felt like experimenting, but I got dark red ones without thinking about red glasses + red lipstick being a potential issue... ah well. They are pretty sweet glasses, so I don't mind that much.
*This does not mean that I think other women with dramatic makeup look like clowns. Unless you're deliberately trying for that, natch.
posted by bettafish at 4:58 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I had to teach myself how to makeup competently in my mind/late twenties, and I've more or less gotten the hang of "natural but better" in both everyday and full face forms, but I can't seem to find a more visible makeup look that doesn't make me feel like a clown* -- I can more or less convince myself to leave the house wearing lightly tinted balm or a very light tint of eyeshadow that's not a near match to my skin color, but that's as far as it goes. I even chose my new glasses frames in part because I thought they would look better with dramatic makeup than my previous wireframe ones if I felt like experimenting, but I got dark red ones without thinking about red glasses + red lipstick being a potential issue... ah well. They are pretty sweet glasses, so I don't mind that much.
*This does not mean that I think other women with dramatic makeup look like clowns. Unless you're deliberately trying for that, natch.
posted by bettafish at 4:58 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Assume a woman who lives in Toronto. She sometimes wears make-up and sometimes doesn't. She's totally ok with that. When she wears make up its light, some foundation-like product or tinted moisturizer, blush, eyeliner and mascara. In theory, lipstick or tinted lip balm, in practice she often forgets to put that on before leaving the house. She never refreshes any of this after leaving the house.
Now let's assume further that she's not particularly good at this make-up thing and kind of sucks at figuring out what colour of anything to use. But she wouldn't mind help figuring that out. Youtube tutorials aren't going to be useful unless there happens to be one with her own colouring, since what good is it to be told what someone who looks completely different wears.
Finally, assume she would like to learn how to achieve a nicely finished of the elusive and ironically named "natural look." She's occasionally had make-up done at places like Sephora/Mac/Body Shop, but the people who work there don't actually seem to be knowledgable about colouring, but more knowledgeable about products and formulas (pick up an eye shadow pallete, but this one here, that one there, etc. without enough knowledge to figure out what would suit her specifically and improvise to make it happen). So the looks all end up way over-done. Also, her face feels goopy with way too much gunk.
So, where does this hypothetical woman go to get someone who actually has knowledge of colouring and such and a good eye for such things (and has a light hand rather than a palette knife) to tell her what colours and products to use for a nice bright/clean/even complexioned natural look? Again, our hypothetical person lives in Toronto. And umm...she'd rather have this free, obviously, but might consider a non-outrageous fee.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:09 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Now let's assume further that she's not particularly good at this make-up thing and kind of sucks at figuring out what colour of anything to use. But she wouldn't mind help figuring that out. Youtube tutorials aren't going to be useful unless there happens to be one with her own colouring, since what good is it to be told what someone who looks completely different wears.
Finally, assume she would like to learn how to achieve a nicely finished of the elusive and ironically named "natural look." She's occasionally had make-up done at places like Sephora/Mac/Body Shop, but the people who work there don't actually seem to be knowledgable about colouring, but more knowledgeable about products and formulas (pick up an eye shadow pallete, but this one here, that one there, etc. without enough knowledge to figure out what would suit her specifically and improvise to make it happen). So the looks all end up way over-done. Also, her face feels goopy with way too much gunk.
So, where does this hypothetical woman go to get someone who actually has knowledge of colouring and such and a good eye for such things (and has a light hand rather than a palette knife) to tell her what colours and products to use for a nice bright/clean/even complexioned natural look? Again, our hypothetical person lives in Toronto. And umm...she'd rather have this free, obviously, but might consider a non-outrageous fee.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:09 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think admitting to how much work this is is embarrassing to women because the male fantasy of beauty is almost always a completely passive one - the girl who's just naturally becoming a beautiful woman, the librarian who's beautiful behind her glasses, and of course the girl who eats all she wants and never gets acne or gains weight. "High-maintenance" women - that is, women who take longer to get ready in the morning/night than men do, or women who eat salads instead of cheeseburgers (or lately, who are evil paleo bitches who ONLY eat cheeseburgers or other weird diets and dare to talk about how they're dieting) - well, men who are attracted to high-maintenance women are considered to be just as shallow as men who admit they're attracted to women who've had obvious cosmetic surgery.
Some people above were commenting about how feelings about makeup vary region to region, but this reminds me that it's cultural/racial too. This is one of those times I'm glad to be black instead of white because we don't really have things like "bedhead" and "wash 'n go" as part of our vocabulary. So many black men are well aware of how much time, energy and money black women put into our appearance, because a lot of them do the same thing.
posted by girlmightlive at 5:23 PM on October 28, 2015 [24 favorites]
Some people above were commenting about how feelings about makeup vary region to region, but this reminds me that it's cultural/racial too. This is one of those times I'm glad to be black instead of white because we don't really have things like "bedhead" and "wash 'n go" as part of our vocabulary. So many black men are well aware of how much time, energy and money black women put into our appearance, because a lot of them do the same thing.
posted by girlmightlive at 5:23 PM on October 28, 2015 [24 favorites]
IOIHAP So a lot of people on beauty counters get their training on the job, and that training focuses on selling All The Things. Really, in your hypothetical case, the person wants an actual makeup artist who has trained in applying makeup itself - skin tones, face shapes, colouring, etc. It's worth paying for a private lesson (especially since they'll come to your house). Free would be nice but like any professional they work for money for bills and that. What you could do is contact a local beauty academy and ask for a referral to a recent graduate. When people are starting out they're cheaper and happy to get the experience. Another option (which may or may not fill your hypothetical heart with horror) is to volunteer to be a "model" for a photographer and makeup artist who are building up their portfolios, as usually the three give their time for free as they each get a photo for their book, in exchange for a lesson.
posted by billiebee at 5:28 PM on October 28, 2015
posted by billiebee at 5:28 PM on October 28, 2015
I noticed that the closer someone was to the Beauty Ideal™, the less of a change there was in others' responses to them when product-less. Those who were less conventionally attractive noticed a huge spike in how much better they were treated.
And that's why I started wearing makeup.
Yay?
posted by pemberkins at 5:38 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
And that's why I started wearing makeup.
Yay?
posted by pemberkins at 5:38 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Thanks, Billiebee...would such a trained person be willing/knowledgable about a minimalist approach? I worry that professionals are doing weddings and other formal/glamour events mostly and might steamroll into that by default and the next thing I ...er...a hypothetical woman...know she has smokey eyes and feel like somebody her in paste and then punched her in the eye. What are the magical keywords to avoid such an experience?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:46 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:46 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
What are the magical keywords to avoid such an experience?
Daytime neutral.
posted by asockpuppet at 6:17 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Daytime neutral.
posted by asockpuppet at 6:17 PM on October 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Learning how to do a natural "no makeup look" is part of any makeup artist training that I know of. But the best thing to do is to bring pictures of looks you like so you can show what you're after. Hunting for looks you like is also a good way of figuring out what you...I mean she...is really into as you'll see a pattern emerging.
posted by billiebee at 6:18 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by billiebee at 6:18 PM on October 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I've been trying to downsize my makeup collection over the past few months. Turns out I'm mostly a fan of just smoky eyes and red lipstick, despite having had a billion eyeshadows and more lipstick than I was comfortable with. I didn't really get into makeup until I was 23, and when I did, I wanted to buy all the colors I thought would look great on me, and I did just that, and it was awesome. (I have many colorful selfies that will never see the light of day.)
It's only just occurred to me figuring out what makeup and skincare works for me was self-care, of sorts -- I wasn't doing so well at the time and things like exercise and makeup were reminders that I could still take care of myself, even if only in the smallest of ways. I don't like that it took me buying so much product to figure that out, but I got a lot of practice in, at least.
So now I've settled into a routine: eyebrows, mascara, concealer/powder, bronzer, blush, lipstick -- takes me about 5 minutes. And it feels less like something that I have to do, and more like deciding on a piece of clothing or an accessory. I still love checking out new makeup, reading reviews, etc, but it's more like a spectator sport to me now, instead of something I feel I can only participate in via conspicuous consumption.
posted by supermassive at 7:28 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
It's only just occurred to me figuring out what makeup and skincare works for me was self-care, of sorts -- I wasn't doing so well at the time and things like exercise and makeup were reminders that I could still take care of myself, even if only in the smallest of ways. I don't like that it took me buying so much product to figure that out, but I got a lot of practice in, at least.
So now I've settled into a routine: eyebrows, mascara, concealer/powder, bronzer, blush, lipstick -- takes me about 5 minutes. And it feels less like something that I have to do, and more like deciding on a piece of clothing or an accessory. I still love checking out new makeup, reading reviews, etc, but it's more like a spectator sport to me now, instead of something I feel I can only participate in via conspicuous consumption.
posted by supermassive at 7:28 PM on October 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
One of my sociology classes in college assigned the following exercise: for one day, go out into the world, having used all the beauty/grooming products you own. See what you can see. The next day: go out into the world, having used nothing except soap, water, and toothpaste. See what you can see.*
My entire morning grooming regimen is soap (and shampoo), water, toothpaste, and deodorant, so I find this article and these comments fascinating. It's a view into another world that I haven't even really experienced vicariously, since I've mostly dated women who did not use makeup, and I don't remember my mother ever wearing it either.
It does seem like magic in its power to transform how someone looks, and the skill it takes to do it well is impressive.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:47 PM on October 28, 2015
My entire morning grooming regimen is soap (and shampoo), water, toothpaste, and deodorant, so I find this article and these comments fascinating. It's a view into another world that I haven't even really experienced vicariously, since I've mostly dated women who did not use makeup, and I don't remember my mother ever wearing it either.
It does seem like magic in its power to transform how someone looks, and the skill it takes to do it well is impressive.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:47 PM on October 28, 2015
I once spent an interminable ten minutes explaining to my partner that actually, it is completely conceivable that a woman would take an hour to get ready. He's used to my ability to roll out of bed and be out the door in under 20 minutes, even when I had waist length hair. I had to point out that there are ways in which I am treated less kindly (by LOTS of people) because I am transgressing a social feminine structure by not wearing makeup, by not 'doing' my hair*, by wearing men's clothes sometimes and having an all-black boring wardrobe as standard (not goth, just like black). People dismiss me in a lot of ways, or ignore me, or feel validated by denigrating me, because I'm not a Real Girl, I'm a Wrong Girl, so obviously I don't have the right kind of feelings, the right kind of mind.
I work in academia, I write, I sometimes wear skirts and dresses. But my own daughter didn't recognise me when I went Full Fancy Face for my sister's wedding, and people can't recognise me in those photos a lot of the time. But my friends know when I'm sad, or sick, and it's easier to read my face. It's a face that has pimples, random black hairs (that I do pluck), occasional bouts of eczema on my forehead, eyebrows, and now eyelid. I have scars, I am lop-sided and slightly jowly. But it's my face. Makeup, even just the old slick of powder + eyeliner + lip gloss I used to do, isn't the same.
*even waist length it was ponytail/bun/braids, not straightened or dyed or curled or blow-dried, and I shaved bald for a while, it's currently blue and about an inch long so I'm still not performing it right (particularly for a 30-something mama)
posted by geek anachronism at 8:19 PM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I work in academia, I write, I sometimes wear skirts and dresses. But my own daughter didn't recognise me when I went Full Fancy Face for my sister's wedding, and people can't recognise me in those photos a lot of the time. But my friends know when I'm sad, or sick, and it's easier to read my face. It's a face that has pimples, random black hairs (that I do pluck), occasional bouts of eczema on my forehead, eyebrows, and now eyelid. I have scars, I am lop-sided and slightly jowly. But it's my face. Makeup, even just the old slick of powder + eyeliner + lip gloss I used to do, isn't the same.
*even waist length it was ponytail/bun/braids, not straightened or dyed or curled or blow-dried, and I shaved bald for a while, it's currently blue and about an inch long so I'm still not performing it right (particularly for a 30-something mama)
posted by geek anachronism at 8:19 PM on October 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I identify with the points in the article about what kind of/the amounts of attention you get with Makeup Face vs. No Makeup Face, and I appreciated hearing the writer talk about it. I'm not certain it's 100% just that, since I do tend to feel differently about myself on days when I do want to wear makeup. When I don't, I'm typically having a shitty day, and I will hear the "Are you okay?" and "You look tired." In my own experience, I cannot tell if it's my attitude or the lack of makeup people are reacting to.
That said, I also love my makeup routine. That's when I sip hot, hot coffee and listen to funny podcasts in my slippers and robe. I love all the beautiful pots and bottles, and basically playing and "designing." I love everything about it, and nothing about it is oppressive or depressing to me. It presses all the same buttons for me as looking at beautiful art, watching a beautiful movie, seeing beautiful design anywhere. I love that someone's job is to make the packaging as lovely as possible, and the many different motifs, from minimalist to retro. I recently got a package in the mail from Too Faced and it came in a pink box that looked like something from a bakery in a Wes Anderson movie. Yes. If I have a point, other than to gush about what makeup means to me and that it's quite different from the writer's perspective, it's that I get very confused when I am asked who my makeup is for. It's very, very much for myself.
posted by moons in june at 8:42 PM on October 28, 2015 [13 favorites]
That said, I also love my makeup routine. That's when I sip hot, hot coffee and listen to funny podcasts in my slippers and robe. I love all the beautiful pots and bottles, and basically playing and "designing." I love everything about it, and nothing about it is oppressive or depressing to me. It presses all the same buttons for me as looking at beautiful art, watching a beautiful movie, seeing beautiful design anywhere. I love that someone's job is to make the packaging as lovely as possible, and the many different motifs, from minimalist to retro. I recently got a package in the mail from Too Faced and it came in a pink box that looked like something from a bakery in a Wes Anderson movie. Yes. If I have a point, other than to gush about what makeup means to me and that it's quite different from the writer's perspective, it's that I get very confused when I am asked who my makeup is for. It's very, very much for myself.
posted by moons in june at 8:42 PM on October 28, 2015 [13 favorites]
Before I transitioned, I talked a bit about wearing making to work while male-presenting. (Which was, oh my god, over a year ago already.) My experience lined up surprisingly well with the article and a lot of the comments here, even though no one who saw me knew what was actually different: people complimented me when I wore it, and pointed out that something was amiss the first day I didn't.
Starting just a few months after I wrote that comment, for the seven months I was living full-time as my true self (outside of work, anyway) but before I started on hormones, makeup was critical to my survival. I literally couldn't bring myself to step out the door without a full face, even to take the trash down the hall or walk the dog. Horrible compromises involving Clown Pink stubble cover-up, an obsession with drawing attention to my eyes (away from my chin, my neck, my shoulders), the constant fear and double-checking: it was more than a tedious ritual dominating my life; it chained me to the bathroom counter, hunched over, looking deep into the mirror.
But I still loved it. It was worth it, because it was the only way I could feel like myself. I put in the time to learn, to get good, to get fast (or to accept that I would run late on hard days), because being able to wear makeup was a privilege, and when I was done, I felt amazing. I felt whole.
Things are easier now. My face is a different shape, to the point where old pictures of me look more like an older relative than my younger self. My facial hair has been largely beat into submission. My skin is smoother and less oily. Sitting down to do my makeup in the morning, I feel centered. I'm free to decide what I want to look like today. Some stuff is still mandatory; I still need foundation to cover at least my neck, chin, and above my lip (ugh, razor burn). And I have to use a dab of blush to cover the light shade of blue from the remnants of my mustache. Other than that, the core elements of my routine haven't changed all that much from my experimental gender-bending last year.
The biggest difference is that I'm finally free to decide how much or how little I want to make myself up. Bold eyes, shiny lips, deep blush, flesh tones and no eyeliner for a natural look, improvise toward something that plays off my the colors in my dress. I'm in control of my face. At last. I'm not thinking about anyone's expectations or judgments or what it means for me as a feminist or a trans woman. I'm just following my whims and my aesthetic. I'm feeling empowered, and feeling like myself.
posted by WCWedin at 12:46 PM on October 29, 2015 [16 favorites]
Starting just a few months after I wrote that comment, for the seven months I was living full-time as my true self (outside of work, anyway) but before I started on hormones, makeup was critical to my survival. I literally couldn't bring myself to step out the door without a full face, even to take the trash down the hall or walk the dog. Horrible compromises involving Clown Pink stubble cover-up, an obsession with drawing attention to my eyes (away from my chin, my neck, my shoulders), the constant fear and double-checking: it was more than a tedious ritual dominating my life; it chained me to the bathroom counter, hunched over, looking deep into the mirror.
But I still loved it. It was worth it, because it was the only way I could feel like myself. I put in the time to learn, to get good, to get fast (or to accept that I would run late on hard days), because being able to wear makeup was a privilege, and when I was done, I felt amazing. I felt whole.
Things are easier now. My face is a different shape, to the point where old pictures of me look more like an older relative than my younger self. My facial hair has been largely beat into submission. My skin is smoother and less oily. Sitting down to do my makeup in the morning, I feel centered. I'm free to decide what I want to look like today. Some stuff is still mandatory; I still need foundation to cover at least my neck, chin, and above my lip (ugh, razor burn). And I have to use a dab of blush to cover the light shade of blue from the remnants of my mustache. Other than that, the core elements of my routine haven't changed all that much from my experimental gender-bending last year.
The biggest difference is that I'm finally free to decide how much or how little I want to make myself up. Bold eyes, shiny lips, deep blush, flesh tones and no eyeliner for a natural look, improvise toward something that plays off my the colors in my dress. I'm in control of my face. At last. I'm not thinking about anyone's expectations or judgments or what it means for me as a feminist or a trans woman. I'm just following my whims and my aesthetic. I'm feeling empowered, and feeling like myself.
posted by WCWedin at 12:46 PM on October 29, 2015 [16 favorites]
/me nods a lot and a lot and a lot. And more. And more.
Hugs WCWedin.
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:53 PM on October 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Hugs WCWedin.
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:53 PM on October 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
I have blonde hair, blonde eyebrows, pale skin, blue eyes, pale lips. Without *any* makeup, I look dead. Period. Not cute. Dead.
...
I'm so incredibly not oppressed by my makeup.
I guess these two statements don't really compute to me. I can't deny the possibility that a living person could literally look like a corpse. But I can't accept that the color you've described, which is not common but not uncommon, would somehow objectively and automatically make a woman (but not a man, since they don't wear make up and I've never heard of some trope of dead looking blond men) look dead. It only makes sense in the context of a setting where such a thing as mascara and other cosmetics not only exist but are used on a regular basis by the vast majority of women with your coloring (and, I guess, in a context where most of us don't come into contact with actual corpses on any regular basis).
You personally may not be oppressed by make up, but there to me it seems pretty clear that make up is playing an oppressive role in your life - by making your natural coloring remind other people more of (stylized/sanitized/Hollywood) corpses than of the millions of other very much alive people running around out there, alive, with your coloring.
posted by Salamandrous at 3:04 PM on October 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
...
I'm so incredibly not oppressed by my makeup.
I guess these two statements don't really compute to me. I can't deny the possibility that a living person could literally look like a corpse. But I can't accept that the color you've described, which is not common but not uncommon, would somehow objectively and automatically make a woman (but not a man, since they don't wear make up and I've never heard of some trope of dead looking blond men) look dead. It only makes sense in the context of a setting where such a thing as mascara and other cosmetics not only exist but are used on a regular basis by the vast majority of women with your coloring (and, I guess, in a context where most of us don't come into contact with actual corpses on any regular basis).
You personally may not be oppressed by make up, but there to me it seems pretty clear that make up is playing an oppressive role in your life - by making your natural coloring remind other people more of (stylized/sanitized/Hollywood) corpses than of the millions of other very much alive people running around out there, alive, with your coloring.
posted by Salamandrous at 3:04 PM on October 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
Salamandrous, why are you trying to talk someone out of feeling the way they feel?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:35 AM on October 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:35 AM on October 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
You know that sometimes people exaggerate for effect? If someone says they look "dead" without makeup it doesn't mean they look like an actual literal corpse and need someone to explain that there are alive people with the same colouring. Similarly when I say I look like "shit" I don't mean I look like a literal pile of brown fecal matter leading to someone explaining at length the difference between a person with my colouring and poo.
posted by billiebee at 5:30 AM on October 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by billiebee at 5:30 AM on October 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
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posted by eriko at 8:32 AM on October 28, 2015 [15 favorites]