Want the Best Thanksgiving Stuffing? Consider the Oyster
November 23, 2015 9:30 PM Subscribe
"Thus far we've discussed the history of adding oysters to stuffings. But historic precedent doesn't automatically equate with deliciousness. In the case of oyster stuffing, though, I'm telling you now that deliciousness is guaranteed." (Daniel Gritzer - Serious Eats)
Do whatever, just please warn your guests first.
posted by notyou at 10:07 PM on November 23, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by notyou at 10:07 PM on November 23, 2015 [10 favorites]
OK. I am in favor of this.
posted by feckless at 10:08 PM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by feckless at 10:08 PM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Smoked oysters from Anacortas!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 10:23 PM on November 23, 2015
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 10:23 PM on November 23, 2015
I hate oyster dressing so much that as a child I wrote a song about it for my brother and I to perform on Thanksgiving Eve and the family hasn't eaten it since.
posted by phunniemee at 10:41 PM on November 23, 2015 [18 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 10:41 PM on November 23, 2015 [18 favorites]
Grated Salsify works also.
posted by Jumpin Jack Flash at 10:48 PM on November 23, 2015
posted by Jumpin Jack Flash at 10:48 PM on November 23, 2015
I need oysters. Not necessarily in my Thanksgiving stuffing/dressing (which I'm not in charge of this year, anyway), but I need oysters. Also crabs, but we're not allowed to have dungeness crabs this year, unless we want to risk death, and some version of that prohibition also included bivalves, though it mentioned mussels and clams as being dangerous while saying scallops were ok but not saying anything about oysters, so I am left craving oysters and dungeness crab without having any reliable sense of whether I can eat them without dying.
posted by jaguar at 10:52 PM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by jaguar at 10:52 PM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also seriously one of the reasons I don't want to have children is that I don't want to subject them to a life without seafood, which seems to be one of the climate-change fates likely to happen soon, and I think we're pretty much there.
posted by jaguar at 10:54 PM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by jaguar at 10:54 PM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Oysters have inspired the finest poets: Ogden Nash, Roy Blount Jr. and, of course, Lewis Carroll.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:09 PM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:09 PM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
I had the pleasure of introducing my then 14-year-old nephew to oysters a couple years ago. Not oyster stuffing, but a nice plate of raw Pacific oysters. We'd bopped by the Farmer's Market here in L.A. to get escargots - which was what he'd asked to cook at our house that weekend - and I thought well, if he's cook enough to tackle snails, he's gourmand enough to eat an oyster. And he did! He had a bunch of questions for the countermen about whether one ought to chew (he got the idea somewhere that one shouldn't) and we sat down with a half dozen. I told him that a good oyster needs nothing but that he could certainly choose to douse his choice with lemon, or mignonette, or horseradish, or cocktail sauce. He chose lemon, picked it up, and ate his first oyster. Then he ate another. He said later, after he'd thought about it, "Aunt [goofyfoot], it was like I was part of the sea."
posted by goofyfoot at 11:35 PM on November 23, 2015 [40 favorites]
posted by goofyfoot at 11:35 PM on November 23, 2015 [40 favorites]
I'm telling you now that deliciousness is guaranteed.
I am here to tell you that deliciousness is in no way guaranteed. I love oysters. I love turkey stuffing. But I do not like oysters in my stuffing. I've tried it twice, and did not like it twice ... and it's pretty hard to make a stuffing that I don't like.
To each his own. I'll stick with sausage, bread, and sage.
posted by kanewai at 12:17 AM on November 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
I am here to tell you that deliciousness is in no way guaranteed. I love oysters. I love turkey stuffing. But I do not like oysters in my stuffing. I've tried it twice, and did not like it twice ... and it's pretty hard to make a stuffing that I don't like.
To each his own. I'll stick with sausage, bread, and sage.
posted by kanewai at 12:17 AM on November 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
I was reading along just fine.
Just so you know, I love oysters on the half shell. You know, freshly shucked. I like to drizzle them with lemon and tabasco, then dunk quickly in a shotglass of tequila. Totally delicious. After a dozen oysters, slam that shot of tequila. Then, we're ready for dinner.
And I'm quite willing to entertain the idea of having oysters in stuffing/dressing. Probably good.
But then I read (ITFA) a side-reference to sweet dressing.
Aw hell no.
Call that bread puddin.
And leave it off my plate this Thursday.
posted by yesster at 12:18 AM on November 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
Just so you know, I love oysters on the half shell. You know, freshly shucked. I like to drizzle them with lemon and tabasco, then dunk quickly in a shotglass of tequila. Totally delicious. After a dozen oysters, slam that shot of tequila. Then, we're ready for dinner.
And I'm quite willing to entertain the idea of having oysters in stuffing/dressing. Probably good.
But then I read (ITFA) a side-reference to sweet dressing.
Aw hell no.
Call that bread puddin.
And leave it off my plate this Thursday.
posted by yesster at 12:18 AM on November 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
Back when I was about to get married we did a number of expeditions to get the feel for places we might like to move to. We were in Chapel Hill on thanksgiving and everything was closed and we hadn't eaten all day and suddenly there was this creole place with all you can eat. The oyster stuffing was so good that my third plate was nothing but.
3 hours after that delicious meal, my anus revealed its secret desire to be a fog horn. My tummy would undulate for a minute and then my butt would warn ships away from the many reefs that surround Chapel Hill. 45 second blasts that defied anything I knew about my butt.
It was plenty noxious too. Fiance was scrabbling at the windows that wouldn't open and took to waving the door open and shut in her nightie until she attracted unwanted attention. She told them to ef off and locked the door and asked me if this happened often. This was a deal breaker for her if I said yes.
20 years later, I trade away my thanksgiving for extra weekends and take boy out somewhere good. Just a cheap soul-food place. He looks at the specials and decides on the chicken livers with rice and gravy and a side of greens and the oyster stuffing.
6 hours later I was shaken awake by a little boy who said his butt was "abnormal." I asked to see it and he said I was just going to tickle him and that what was wrong was inside of him. I remembered and opened some windows and we had the fartiest snuggle. Had to set up a fan.
We can eat them out of a tin with crackers or on the shell, but no stuffing for us.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 12:57 AM on November 24, 2015 [23 favorites]
3 hours after that delicious meal, my anus revealed its secret desire to be a fog horn. My tummy would undulate for a minute and then my butt would warn ships away from the many reefs that surround Chapel Hill. 45 second blasts that defied anything I knew about my butt.
It was plenty noxious too. Fiance was scrabbling at the windows that wouldn't open and took to waving the door open and shut in her nightie until she attracted unwanted attention. She told them to ef off and locked the door and asked me if this happened often. This was a deal breaker for her if I said yes.
20 years later, I trade away my thanksgiving for extra weekends and take boy out somewhere good. Just a cheap soul-food place. He looks at the specials and decides on the chicken livers with rice and gravy and a side of greens and the oyster stuffing.
6 hours later I was shaken awake by a little boy who said his butt was "abnormal." I asked to see it and he said I was just going to tickle him and that what was wrong was inside of him. I remembered and opened some windows and we had the fartiest snuggle. Had to set up a fan.
We can eat them out of a tin with crackers or on the shell, but no stuffing for us.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 12:57 AM on November 24, 2015 [23 favorites]
Stuffing is my favorite thing about Thanksgiving. I'm doing 2, maybe 3 different varieties this year, one of which will involve oysters. Stuffing with gravy is the perfect food, and takes me to a happy place.
posted by jbickers at 3:39 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by jbickers at 3:39 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
My Granny used to make a stuffing with bacon and breadcrumbs, and i think eggs? that i thought was delicious. I think it was something of a post war scrimping thing, but i thought it was the best. It has completely ruined me for almost every other stuffing I come across. Sausage and onions are just weird for me.
Saying that, I would try this stuffing...
posted by trif at 3:48 AM on November 24, 2015
Saying that, I would try this stuffing...
posted by trif at 3:48 AM on November 24, 2015
Forget the turkey - I just want this!
posted by oceanjesse at 4:08 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by oceanjesse at 4:08 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Leave out the sausage: try apples and onions and summer savoury (east coast herb similar to sage, but more delicate) along with your bread. It's wonderful.
posted by jb at 4:55 AM on November 24, 2015
posted by jb at 4:55 AM on November 24, 2015
No, no no no no. Do not shove sea boogers into any bird carcass I'm going to be anywhere near. Ugh.
posted by Foosnark at 6:33 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Foosnark at 6:33 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
When my nephew was five, me and dad used to take him to the piano bar down the road from my parents' house and we'd eat oysters. Little weirdo got at least a whole dozen to himself; now he's old enough that I don't feel guilty fighting him off from my share.
I guess I'll make this on Thursday.
posted by crush-onastick at 6:35 AM on November 24, 2015
I guess I'll make this on Thursday.
posted by crush-onastick at 6:35 AM on November 24, 2015
I remember the first stanza of the song, if anyone is interested. Before I start, note that I changed the word "dressing" to "stew" because "stew" has better syllabic and rhyming opportunity. I feel comfortable with this use of artistic license.
(Sing to the tune of Frosty the Snowman)
🎶I hate oyster
Oyyyster stew
It's made of gunk and it tastes like muck
And it looks like Elmer's Glue...🎶
This went on for three more stanzas, which I found again about 15 years ago on a set of notecards crammed in the back of a junk drawer, but have since, sadly, forgotten.
Several years ago when I had my first Thanksgiving away from home, my mom sent me a big word doc full of family recipes in case I wanted to use any of them. Instead of sending the family oyster dressing recipe, she just straight up copy and pasted Paula Dean's from the food network website. When I talked to her on the phone later, she said "well I know you always hated mine but Paula Dean's can't be that bad." I decided it would be best not to mention that no one else in the family seemed to be too upset about the oyster dressing's subsequent disappearance, I was just the only one brazen enough to say anything.
posted by phunniemee at 6:52 AM on November 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
(Sing to the tune of Frosty the Snowman)
🎶I hate oyster
Oyyyster stew
It's made of gunk and it tastes like muck
And it looks like Elmer's Glue...🎶
This went on for three more stanzas, which I found again about 15 years ago on a set of notecards crammed in the back of a junk drawer, but have since, sadly, forgotten.
Several years ago when I had my first Thanksgiving away from home, my mom sent me a big word doc full of family recipes in case I wanted to use any of them. Instead of sending the family oyster dressing recipe, she just straight up copy and pasted Paula Dean's from the food network website. When I talked to her on the phone later, she said "well I know you always hated mine but Paula Dean's can't be that bad." I decided it would be best not to mention that no one else in the family seemed to be too upset about the oyster dressing's subsequent disappearance, I was just the only one brazen enough to say anything.
posted by phunniemee at 6:52 AM on November 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
Re: Near a Thousand Tables: A History of Food, I don't eat cooked oysters, as they are one of the last foods we still eat in the same manner as our prehistoric forebears.
Some traditions are worth keeping.
posted by clvrmnky at 7:12 AM on November 24, 2015
Some traditions are worth keeping.
posted by clvrmnky at 7:12 AM on November 24, 2015
Years ago I went to visit my aunt for Turkey Day and she made oyster stuffing. It was frickin' weird.
The next year, we went back to my aunt's house for Turkey Day and she made oyster stuffing. It was pretty good.
A year later, we went back to my aunt's for Turkey Day and my wife and I asked her for her oyster stuffing recipe. We make it pretty much every year (with the exception of when her parents visit, because they are boring when it comes to food.)
The toughest part for me is that my aunt (who basically made up the recipe one year out of experimentation) uses a can of oyster stew in her stuffing, and I can't find any stores in the Twin Cities that sell canned oyster stew. I have taken to substituting clam chowder (the thin, watery kind) because at least it's a bivalve.
posted by caution live frogs at 7:15 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
The next year, we went back to my aunt's house for Turkey Day and she made oyster stuffing. It was pretty good.
A year later, we went back to my aunt's for Turkey Day and my wife and I asked her for her oyster stuffing recipe. We make it pretty much every year (with the exception of when her parents visit, because they are boring when it comes to food.)
The toughest part for me is that my aunt (who basically made up the recipe one year out of experimentation) uses a can of oyster stew in her stuffing, and I can't find any stores in the Twin Cities that sell canned oyster stew. I have taken to substituting clam chowder (the thin, watery kind) because at least it's a bivalve.
posted by caution live frogs at 7:15 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
There's nothing moister
Than an oyster
posted by kinnakeet at 7:24 AM on November 24, 2015 [5 favorites]
Than an oyster
posted by kinnakeet at 7:24 AM on November 24, 2015 [5 favorites]
Metafilter: The Fartiest Snuggle.
posted by dr_dank at 7:31 AM on November 24, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 7:31 AM on November 24, 2015 [6 favorites]
This, more than election-year politics, is quite likely the issue that divides families on Thanksgiving.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 9:12 AM on November 24, 2015
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 9:12 AM on November 24, 2015
My wife just asked me to text her the ingredient list for the oyster and cornbread stuffing. This is gonna be so good you guys
posted by Spatch at 10:37 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Spatch at 10:37 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
I made oyster stuffing last year (or was it the year before? Ha, time, it's totes hilares how you chop up my memories and squish my past into a disorganized mess not unlike turkey stuffing) and it wasn't bad but it was also very much *OYSTER* stuffing that never let you forget the *OYSTER* part and I found that while stuffing may be my favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner I prefer it in a supporting role, not wetly, fishily elbowing its way to center stage demanding my full focus and attention, and I'm afraid that's what oysters bring out in stuffing.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:59 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:59 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
Grandma always used to make a separate dish of oyster stuffing for herself and my youngest uncle every Thanksgiving. And at Christmas she would make them scalloped oysters. She always pronounced "oysters" as "oystures."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:05 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:05 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
She always pronounced "oysters" as "oystures."
Wait...how are we supposed to say it?
posted by mittens at 11:27 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
Wait...how are we supposed to say it?
posted by mittens at 11:27 AM on November 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
Ooh, what a coincidence, I was just salivating over this oyster pot pie recipe which the blogger recommends as a Thanksgiving dish.
posted by capricorn at 11:29 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by capricorn at 11:29 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
I thought oyster stuffing was for goose. I only know this from old sitcom episodes in which stuffing was a major plot point.
(Seriously)
(It was important)
posted by knuckle tattoos at 12:35 PM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
(Seriously)
(It was important)
posted by knuckle tattoos at 12:35 PM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
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