"I am not yet old enough to vote———"
December 5, 2015 6:52 PM Subscribe
Political candidates aren't technically allowed to coordinate with the Super PACs that support them. Which is why Ted Cruz quietly uploaded 16 hours of footage to an old, unused YouTube channel for his Super PACs to find. BuzzFeed found out, and Gawker decided to do him a favor and edit all their favorite, most awful moments from the footage into a single, glorious campaign advertisement: "One more hug." "I love you, Mom." "And hold for a second."
16 hours of Ted Cruz with daughters, loud droning sound in background please. Would also accept multiple slow zooms into father's face all chained together.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 7:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
If that wasn't the creepiest thing I've seen in a while. Ewww what are they are praying away? What's that creepy touch on the couch? Was that feathered lingerie on those little girls?
posted by Oyéah at 7:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Oyéah at 7:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Would also accept multiple slow zooms into father's face all chained together.
What's Ted Cruz's father's favorite song? Let's get Neil Cicierega on this.
posted by rorgy at 7:01 PM on December 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
What's Ted Cruz's father's favorite song? Let's get Neil Cicierega on this.
posted by rorgy at 7:01 PM on December 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Thankfully this sort of technical end-run around campaign laws is not the sort of thing the vigilant and forceful FEC will permit. Expect to see Ted Cruz facing severe civil and criminal penalties for this stunt.
Oh, no wait, that's only in my Imaginary World. Never mind.
posted by srt19170 at 7:06 PM on December 5, 2015 [70 favorites]
Oh, no wait, that's only in my Imaginary World. Never mind.
posted by srt19170 at 7:06 PM on December 5, 2015 [70 favorites]
Why is it so difficult for Ted Cruz to imitate a human being?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 7:08 PM on December 5, 2015 [63 favorites]
posted by Foci for Analysis at 7:08 PM on December 5, 2015 [63 favorites]
Found this via Jeb Lund, by the way, who coincidentally has an article out about Cruz in Rolling Stone:
Ted Cruz Isn't Crazy – He's Much Worse
posted by rorgy at 7:08 PM on December 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
Ted Cruz Isn't Crazy – He's Much Worse
posted by rorgy at 7:08 PM on December 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
On the other hand, anyone else can use this footage too. So that seems okay.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:08 PM on December 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 7:08 PM on December 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
(Why do they say “Hail, Satan!” at the end of grace, people will wonder…)
posted by Going To Maine at 7:09 PM on December 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 7:09 PM on December 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
I just love his old roommate, Craig.
posted by amber_dale at 7:11 PM on December 5, 2015 [26 favorites]
posted by amber_dale at 7:11 PM on December 5, 2015 [26 favorites]
Nope. He still doesn't pass the Turing Test.
Nice try though.
posted by kanewai at 7:14 PM on December 5, 2015 [37 favorites]
Nice try though.
posted by kanewai at 7:14 PM on December 5, 2015 [37 favorites]
Something that's been bugging me for awhile regarding Cruz and his PACs -- maybe somebody with more knowledge or investigative skills would care to look into this.
There was an AP story awhile back on SuperPACs, which included this bit:
More interesting was this Facebook post from a group called "Stop Art Scams", which mentions fraudulent checks written from (again) V3 231 LLC, incorporated this time in Florham Park, New Jersey. This is the same LLC that donated to Cruz's PAC, as noted here (Ctrl+F "florham"). Florham Park is also home to a major wireless company founded by another Cruz booster, and also involved with the V3 231 shell according to the NY Times.
It's all very shadowy, and may be totally coincidental, but it would be interesting if some of Cruz's shell company funders were also involved in some sort of art fraud on the side.
posted by Rhaomi at 7:26 PM on December 5, 2015 [44 favorites]
There was an AP story awhile back on SuperPACs, which included this bit:
[...] sometimes the named donors are nonprofits that collect money from anonymous sources. Other times, donors to super PACs are limited liability corporations or trusts that are difficult if not impossible to trace.The name intrigued me, so I googled it and came up with this listing for a New York LLC showing connections (at the bottom of the page) to some wealthy hoteliers in the area. Makes sense (though Cruz's dependence on New York elites is ironic).
A prime example is Stand for Principle, a super PAC helping Republican Texas Sen. Ted Cruz. Almost all of the $250,500 the super PAC raised in the first six months of the year came from "V3 231 LLC," a corporation made up of three other LLCs, according to federal court records reviewed by The Associated Press.
Identifying the people behind an LLC can take weeks or months of intensive investigation, because corporate registration records typically identify only a street address and contact for a registered agent, usually a lawyer.
More interesting was this Facebook post from a group called "Stop Art Scams", which mentions fraudulent checks written from (again) V3 231 LLC, incorporated this time in Florham Park, New Jersey. This is the same LLC that donated to Cruz's PAC, as noted here (Ctrl+F "florham"). Florham Park is also home to a major wireless company founded by another Cruz booster, and also involved with the V3 231 shell according to the NY Times.
It's all very shadowy, and may be totally coincidental, but it would be interesting if some of Cruz's shell company funders were also involved in some sort of art fraud on the side.
posted by Rhaomi at 7:26 PM on December 5, 2015 [44 favorites]
the thing you have to remember about Ted Cruz is that all of his speeches sound much better in the original Parseltongue.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:27 PM on December 5, 2015 [73 favorites]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:27 PM on December 5, 2015 [73 favorites]
I misheard the clip with the little girls - I thought he was saying "who wants a cigarette?"
"Boy," I thought, "his daughters are pretty young to be tobacco addicts."
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:30 PM on December 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
"Boy," I thought, "his daughters are pretty young to be tobacco addicts."
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:30 PM on December 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Always happy to get a tour around the sausage factory to see how the wieners get made.
posted by Room 101 at 7:32 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Room 101 at 7:32 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
I misheard the clip with the little girls - I thought he was saying "who wants a cigarette?"
"Boy," I thought, "his daughters are pretty young to be tobacco addicts."
I mean, to be fair, if Ted Cruz was my father, I'd be smoking more than just cigarettes...
posted by ourt at 7:34 PM on December 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
"Boy," I thought, "his daughters are pretty young to be tobacco addicts."
I mean, to be fair, if Ted Cruz was my father, I'd be smoking more than just cigarettes...
posted by ourt at 7:34 PM on December 5, 2015 [3 favorites]
Why is it so difficult for Ted Cruz to imitate a human being?
Ted Cruz is a hyperintelligent wannabe Machiavelli (sans the satire). He thinks he's smarter than everybody else on the planet, is clearly bright enough to know the difference between the lies he spouts and the real intent behind why he's saying those lies—power, power, power, and more power—and then has to go through these nonsense family sitdowns so he can look like the "real American" brand that he knows very, very well is essential to his convincing his base that a Princeton degree doesn't somehow make him a Communist.
Chillingly, when he talks about buying "rubbers" in a college bathroom, he comes across as pretty sincerely human. Given that his roommate Craig talks about how creepy women were by his cocky advances, we can assume that Cruz's overinflated ego extends to his belief that he deserves all women, and that he can sound genuine about buying a ton of condoms in college because, well.
(Note that here he says "college" rather than mentioning the name of his alma mater, which is the opposite of the standard Princeton/Harvard/Yale cliche. Cruz knows his audience.)
posted by rorgy at 7:41 PM on December 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
Ted Cruz is a hyperintelligent wannabe Machiavelli (sans the satire). He thinks he's smarter than everybody else on the planet, is clearly bright enough to know the difference between the lies he spouts and the real intent behind why he's saying those lies—power, power, power, and more power—and then has to go through these nonsense family sitdowns so he can look like the "real American" brand that he knows very, very well is essential to his convincing his base that a Princeton degree doesn't somehow make him a Communist.
Chillingly, when he talks about buying "rubbers" in a college bathroom, he comes across as pretty sincerely human. Given that his roommate Craig talks about how creepy women were by his cocky advances, we can assume that Cruz's overinflated ego extends to his belief that he deserves all women, and that he can sound genuine about buying a ton of condoms in college because, well.
(Note that here he says "college" rather than mentioning the name of his alma mater, which is the opposite of the standard Princeton/Harvard/Yale cliche. Cruz knows his audience.)
posted by rorgy at 7:41 PM on December 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
What a fucking piece of shit.
… for recording campaign footage and uploading it to the web? I understand the sentiment, but that particular expression of it seems apropos of nothing.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:42 PM on December 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
… for recording campaign footage and uploading it to the web? I understand the sentiment, but that particular expression of it seems apropos of nothing.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:42 PM on December 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
so you know how when you're playing dnd and you encounter a 8th level goblin cleric and youre like thats kind of bullshit and then the dm shows you a picture of ted cruz and you take 2d6 sanity damage despite it being from a different system and youre all fair enough and then ted comes out of the bathroom and you all pretend you dont hate that guy because teds mom lets him use his car even tho he really does not deserve it
because he is made of mushrooms
sweaty mushrooms
this is the truth you see while poised to roll to hit for slammerkin the nightlug and instead of rolling you punch ted square in his dewy gob and slammerkin goes up a level because the dm is a jerk but not a monster
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:44 PM on December 5, 2015 [73 favorites]
because he is made of mushrooms
sweaty mushrooms
this is the truth you see while poised to roll to hit for slammerkin the nightlug and instead of rolling you punch ted square in his dewy gob and slammerkin goes up a level because the dm is a jerk but not a monster
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:44 PM on December 5, 2015 [73 favorites]
Also, though I'm too broke to participate meaningfully in elections gambling, I am increasingly certain that Cruz is going to win Iowa on the strength of his support from evangelicals. Moreover, I am increasingly certain that once any of the not-Trumps distinguishes themselves from the pack by winning anything, all the not-Trump voters will flow to them, along with all of the establishment money.
NOTE: In December 2003, I was certain Howard Dean was poised to win Iowa and with it the Democratic Party nomination. At this point in December 2007, I thought that John Edwards was going to win Iowa (and maybe the nomination). Basically, I am posting this so that I can come back to it when, in months to come, I have concrete, undeniable, inescapable proof that no matter how confident I may be in my reasoning, I am complete crap at actually predicting how elections will go.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:47 PM on December 5, 2015 [12 favorites]
NOTE: In December 2003, I was certain Howard Dean was poised to win Iowa and with it the Democratic Party nomination. At this point in December 2007, I thought that John Edwards was going to win Iowa (and maybe the nomination). Basically, I am posting this so that I can come back to it when, in months to come, I have concrete, undeniable, inescapable proof that no matter how confident I may be in my reasoning, I am complete crap at actually predicting how elections will go.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:47 PM on December 5, 2015 [12 favorites]
Why is it so difficult for Ted Cruz to imitate a human being?
You're on set at the shoot, Ted. You look across the table at your wife and children, the hot lights beating down on you-
At my house?
The hot lights are beating down on you, and the producer is reading you the line-
Is it at my house?
It could be at your house, maybe it's a sound stage, doesn't matter. The producer is reading you the line, and he wants you to say it with feeling, but you can't. Why is that, Ted?
posted by Meatbomb at 7:55 PM on December 5, 2015 [94 favorites]
You're on set at the shoot, Ted. You look across the table at your wife and children, the hot lights beating down on you-
At my house?
The hot lights are beating down on you, and the producer is reading you the line-
Is it at my house?
It could be at your house, maybe it's a sound stage, doesn't matter. The producer is reading you the line, and he wants you to say it with feeling, but you can't. Why is that, Ted?
posted by Meatbomb at 7:55 PM on December 5, 2015 [94 favorites]
Yeah, this isn't "campaign footage", this is "Ted Cruz's family sitting awkwardly around as a camera person tells them to read lines into the camera for seemingly no reason," dumped to a little-known channel that they so clearly didn't think anybody would care about, they didn't bother to edit out the sheer cynicism underling the entire enterprise.
If this was campaign footage, it would've been polished down to a fault, with all the awkward bits (read: ALL of it) edited out. But I don't think Ted Cruz is wrong to think that nobody cares about this. Sure, I get a laugh out of it and I hope y'all do too, but nobody in his base cares that Cruz coaches his niece to say nice things about him to the youths.
posted by rorgy at 7:57 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
If this was campaign footage, it would've been polished down to a fault, with all the awkward bits (read: ALL of it) edited out. But I don't think Ted Cruz is wrong to think that nobody cares about this. Sure, I get a laugh out of it and I hope y'all do too, but nobody in his base cares that Cruz coaches his niece to say nice things about him to the youths.
posted by rorgy at 7:57 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
then has to go through these nonsense family sitdowns so he can look like the "real American" brand that he knows very, very well is essential to his convincing his base that a Princeton degree doesn't somehow make him a Communist.
Let’s be real here: every candidate is doing these sit-downs. It’s part of the game. This isn’t some secret thing that Cruz has dreamed up. If you think Clinton and Sanders aren’t banking a million of these, I don’t know what to say.
(Note that here he says “college” rather than mentioning the name of his alma mater, which is the opposite of the standard Princeton/Harvard/Yale cliche. Cruz knows his audience.)
I —what? I want a candidate to know their audience. I want a candidate who knows how to communicate. And while I certainly buy the notion of referring to “college” instead of Princeton to avoid alienating folks, it hardly seems like a deep tactical insight. (Indeed, I’d argue that mentioning any specific institution would be silly. Would a candidate who went to OSU would to make a point of it and alienate everyone who went to a different big 10 school? Christie’s been hurt by liking the Cowboys and not the NJ-football-team, for goodness sakes.)
This is generic B-Roll footage. It’s weird, awkward, and funny because the process of shooting B-Roll is weird and awkward. It’s campaign detritus that doesn’t rise to gaffe-level but rather exists on its own weird plane.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:58 PM on December 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
Let’s be real here: every candidate is doing these sit-downs. It’s part of the game. This isn’t some secret thing that Cruz has dreamed up. If you think Clinton and Sanders aren’t banking a million of these, I don’t know what to say.
(Note that here he says “college” rather than mentioning the name of his alma mater, which is the opposite of the standard Princeton/Harvard/Yale cliche. Cruz knows his audience.)
I —what? I want a candidate to know their audience. I want a candidate who knows how to communicate. And while I certainly buy the notion of referring to “college” instead of Princeton to avoid alienating folks, it hardly seems like a deep tactical insight. (Indeed, I’d argue that mentioning any specific institution would be silly. Would a candidate who went to OSU would to make a point of it and alienate everyone who went to a different big 10 school? Christie’s been hurt by liking the Cowboys and not the NJ-football-team, for goodness sakes.)
This is generic B-Roll footage. It’s weird, awkward, and funny because the process of shooting B-Roll is weird and awkward. It’s campaign detritus that doesn’t rise to gaffe-level but rather exists on its own weird plane.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:58 PM on December 5, 2015 [11 favorites]
"exists on its own weird plane" is a good description of Cruz, too
posted by special agent conrad uno at 8:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by special agent conrad uno at 8:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
It’s disingenuous to suggest that he wasn't trying to do an end-run around even the tiny regulations between campaigns and PACs with this move.
… I’m not suggesting that he wasn’t; I just found “what a sack of shit” to be a little devoid of context.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
… I’m not suggesting that he wasn’t; I just found “what a sack of shit” to be a little devoid of context.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
I find the fake prayer quite revealing. It shows just how insincere it is—you shouldn't pretend to pray if you supposedly believe in prayer. Otherwise you are just taking god's name in vain.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 8:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [33 favorites]
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 8:00 PM on December 5, 2015 [33 favorites]
They didn't try very hard to hide it, if they uploaded it to one of Cruz's channels, even an old one.
He is just so..doughy. Like the Other creatures in Coraline, that dissolve into doughy goo with button eyes. His smile has this weird sort of grimace to it. Romney had the same thing. What is it about them; is it that slavish devotion to money/power robs you of normal human emotions eventually? Are they screaming on the inside, or just deadened? When no one's around, do they sit in a dark room with no expression on their faces?
posted by emjaybee at 8:01 PM on December 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
He is just so..doughy. Like the Other creatures in Coraline, that dissolve into doughy goo with button eyes. His smile has this weird sort of grimace to it. Romney had the same thing. What is it about them; is it that slavish devotion to money/power robs you of normal human emotions eventually? Are they screaming on the inside, or just deadened? When no one's around, do they sit in a dark room with no expression on their faces?
posted by emjaybee at 8:01 PM on December 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
emjaybee: "They didn't try very hard to hide it, if they uploaded it to one of Cruz's channels, even an old one. "
That was the idea—so that the super PACs could easily find it. But hell, they could have put out a press release announcing, "Ted Cruz Campaign Releases 16 Hours of Awkard B-Roll," and that still probably wouldn't have counted as "co-ordination."
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 8:04 PM on December 5, 2015
That was the idea—so that the super PACs could easily find it. But hell, they could have put out a press release announcing, "Ted Cruz Campaign Releases 16 Hours of Awkard B-Roll," and that still probably wouldn't have counted as "co-ordination."
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 8:04 PM on December 5, 2015
What we know as "Ted Cruz" is just the part you can see. It's why he's sort of rubbery and not very well defined.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:21 PM on December 5, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:21 PM on December 5, 2015 [12 favorites]
I think if you started to pull a thread on his jacket he's slowly start unravelling like Mr. Oggie Boogie screaming MY BUGS MY BUUUUGS
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 PM on December 5, 2015 [25 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 PM on December 5, 2015 [25 favorites]
It seems pretty standard nowadays for candidates to get involved with their super PACs before committing to a Presidential run and then communicate through public channels after the no-coordinate firewall goes up. Jeb did it. Hillary did it. You can hate the players and/or the game but the candidates are all "getting chalk dust on their cleats" as a famous American once said.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:32 PM on December 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:32 PM on December 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
I feel like Romney was screaming on the inside, but inside Cruz it's just squirming black tentacles
posted by prize bull octorok at 8:37 PM on December 5, 2015 [41 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 8:37 PM on December 5, 2015 [41 favorites]
Is this where the upcoming late night show "Full Frontal" with Samantha Bee is getting their footage for their Ted Cruz videos?
posted by NoMich at 8:37 PM on December 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by NoMich at 8:37 PM on December 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Somebody in the produce section of Trader Joe's turned to me last week and said that I looked like Ted Cruz. It was such a randomly cruel thing to say that I didn't know how to respond and just sort of stood there stunned and upset while he wandered off.
posted by octothorpe at 8:39 PM on December 5, 2015 [58 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 8:39 PM on December 5, 2015 [58 favorites]
I really identifiy with the heavy-set younger goateed fella.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:43 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:43 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Frightening
posted by esto-again at 9:07 PM on December 5, 2015
posted by esto-again at 9:07 PM on December 5, 2015
Guys, he's not a ROBOT, he's just an early, discarded iteration of attempts to 3D print Count Chocula, accidentally given life by an eldrich horror lurking in the Everglades feeding on toxic waste and human souls. GET IT RIGHT.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:09 PM on December 5, 2015 [27 favorites]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:09 PM on December 5, 2015 [27 favorites]
"Somebody in the produce section of Trader Joe's turned to me last week and said that I looked like Ted Cruz."
Well, if that photo in your profile is you, that guy in the produce section was wrong...
honestly, for someone whose name begins with "Octo....", you're not as ultra-villain looking as I would have expected..nowhere near Cruz status...
posted by HuronBob at 9:12 PM on December 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Well, if that photo in your profile is you, that guy in the produce section was wrong...
honestly, for someone whose name begins with "Octo....", you're not as ultra-villain looking as I would have expected..nowhere near Cruz status...
posted by HuronBob at 9:12 PM on December 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
One funny part about this is knowing that, elsewhere on the web, people are saying all of these things about HRC with the same fervor. I mean, I don’t see it, but it’s a pretty established trope.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:13 PM on December 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 9:13 PM on December 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
Good job metafilter. A decent man is demonized along with his family for shits and giggles.
posted by shockingbluamp at 9:17 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by shockingbluamp at 9:17 PM on December 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Good job metafilter. A decent man is demonized along with his family for shits and giggles.
Man, don’t wrestle with a MetaFilter on this one. You will get flagged to hell and the community will like it.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:24 PM on December 5, 2015 [22 favorites]
Man, don’t wrestle with a MetaFilter on this one. You will get flagged to hell and the community will like it.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:24 PM on December 5, 2015 [22 favorites]
What decent man?
Also, metafilter didn't record and post this video.
posted by rdr at 9:25 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
Also, metafilter didn't record and post this video.
posted by rdr at 9:25 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
Good job metafilter. A decent man is demonized along with his family for shits and giggles.
Are...are you talking about Ted Cruz?
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:25 PM on December 5, 2015 [69 favorites]
Are...are you talking about Ted Cruz?
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:25 PM on December 5, 2015 [69 favorites]
I too, would be interested to know why shockingbluamp considers Cruz to be a decent man, if he’d care to say. Because it seems like a hard sell.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:26 PM on December 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 9:26 PM on December 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
Everyone Who Knows Ted Cruz Hates Him, Apparently. Like, REALLY Hates Him.
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:27 PM on December 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:27 PM on December 5, 2015 [10 favorites]
which is the opposite of the standard Princeton/Harvard/Yale cliche
There was a zinger a while back about Ted Cruz that noted this is the sort of grouping only a Princeton grad would make.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:42 PM on December 5, 2015 [18 favorites]
There was a zinger a while back about Ted Cruz that noted this is the sort of grouping only a Princeton grad would make.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:42 PM on December 5, 2015 [18 favorites]
Well he's pretty decent if you consider how much interdimensional psychokinetic energy it takes to manifest "Ted Cruz", but clearly we're not talking Gozer the Gozerian
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:53 PM on December 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:53 PM on December 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
Good job metafilter. A decent man is demonized along with his family for shits and giggles.
posted by shockingbluamp at 9:17 PM on December 5 [+] [!]
It demonizes itself until It realizes.
posted by yesster at 9:55 PM on December 5, 2015
posted by shockingbluamp at 9:17 PM on December 5 [+] [!]
It demonizes itself until It realizes.
posted by yesster at 9:55 PM on December 5, 2015
I just found “what a sack of shit” to be a little devoid of context.
I think you're missing the point, which is that "what a sack of shit" is an invariant across all contexts regarding Ted Cruz. It is a statement that is equally at home as a comment in this thread about Ted Cruz, as a campaign slogan for Ted Cruz, or as a message scrawled in lamb's blood on parchment and mailed to the home address of Ted Cruz.
posted by invitapriore at 10:07 PM on December 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
I think you're missing the point, which is that "what a sack of shit" is an invariant across all contexts regarding Ted Cruz. It is a statement that is equally at home as a comment in this thread about Ted Cruz, as a campaign slogan for Ted Cruz, or as a message scrawled in lamb's blood on parchment and mailed to the home address of Ted Cruz.
posted by invitapriore at 10:07 PM on December 5, 2015 [9 favorites]
Cruz wasn't even born in the United States, so his candidacy is even more of a joke than he is. Unlike all the birther conspiracy nonsense, his Canadian status is a known fact. Even if he was somehow elected President, he'd be impeached as soon as he took the oath of office. For all his right-wing psychobabble about how great the Second Amendment is, does he think the rest of the law doesn't apply to him?
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:16 PM on December 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:16 PM on December 5, 2015 [8 favorites]
The overall level of hatred for the candidates in this election is the greatest I've ever seen in 40 years of election watching. Yes, there were individual candidates before who were roundly hated, but I don't remember one time where everyone I knew actively hated all the candidates but one.
It's really hard to compare your feelings before to now, but subjectively it just feels as if the candidates are particularly loathsome this year - that I don't just want these candidates to lose, but I want them to be publicly cast out from the human race.
> One funny part about this is knowing that, elsewhere on the web, people are saying all of these things about HRC with the same fervor. I mean, I don’t see it, but it’s a pretty established trope.
This is quite the derail, but we see dislike for Ms. Clinton quite commonly expressed in Metafilter and I personally see it all over my Facebook page - both from my few remaining Republican friends and from my Democrat friends too. Indeed, hatred for Clinton is one of the few remaining things that my Facebook Ds and Rs can bond over, though the reasons are dramatically different (moral horror for any of the Iraq War criminals on one side, and hatred for the name Clinton in specific and women in general on the other).
But no matter how dishonest and ethically challenged you believe she is, we can all agree that she's much better than Cruz. Perhaps indeed all these shoddy candidates will bring the country together in a grand display of repudiation and disgust.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 10:20 PM on December 5, 2015 [12 favorites]
It's really hard to compare your feelings before to now, but subjectively it just feels as if the candidates are particularly loathsome this year - that I don't just want these candidates to lose, but I want them to be publicly cast out from the human race.
> One funny part about this is knowing that, elsewhere on the web, people are saying all of these things about HRC with the same fervor. I mean, I don’t see it, but it’s a pretty established trope.
This is quite the derail, but we see dislike for Ms. Clinton quite commonly expressed in Metafilter and I personally see it all over my Facebook page - both from my few remaining Republican friends and from my Democrat friends too. Indeed, hatred for Clinton is one of the few remaining things that my Facebook Ds and Rs can bond over, though the reasons are dramatically different (moral horror for any of the Iraq War criminals on one side, and hatred for the name Clinton in specific and women in general on the other).
But no matter how dishonest and ethically challenged you believe she is, we can all agree that she's much better than Cruz. Perhaps indeed all these shoddy candidates will bring the country together in a grand display of repudiation and disgust.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 10:20 PM on December 5, 2015 [12 favorites]
Yes, these are the worst GOP primary candidates in the history of ever by a factor of about a million. What we all wouldn't give right now for a senescent war hero or a square-jawed stuffed suit.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:37 PM on December 5, 2015 [15 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:37 PM on December 5, 2015 [15 favorites]
“Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz? It just saves time.”
posted by Slothrup at 10:40 PM on December 5, 2015 [39 favorites]
posted by Slothrup at 10:40 PM on December 5, 2015 [39 favorites]
Cruz wasn't even born in the United States, so his candidacy is even more of a joke than he is.
He was born to an American mother, so he's a natural-born American citizen.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:45 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
He was born to an American mother, so he's a natural-born American citizen.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:45 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
It's not a decided matter in the courts, but I'd agree he is probably thankful he renounced his Canadian citizenship all the way back in 2014.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:53 PM on December 5, 2015
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:53 PM on December 5, 2015
Even if he was somehow elected President, he'd be impeached as soon as he took the oath of office.
He held dual citizenship at birth. He qualifies. At least as far as the Constitution is concerned. There isn't anything in there about pathological venality, though.
posted by chimaera at 11:20 PM on December 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
He held dual citizenship at birth. He qualifies. At least as far as the Constitution is concerned. There isn't anything in there about pathological venality, though.
posted by chimaera at 11:20 PM on December 5, 2015 [4 favorites]
Does anyone else find it terrifying that the potential republican candidates of just a couple of elections ago (Romney, McCain, etc) are significantly less terrifying than the current crop of candidates?
We used to have run-of-the-mill awful scary republicans and now we have the John Bircher branch of the republican party (aka Tea Party) or folks with even less of a grasp of reality (really Trump, Mexico is going to pay for this mythical wall you want to build?).
Seriously, the republican party is getting exponentially worse.
posted by el io at 11:32 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
We used to have run-of-the-mill awful scary republicans and now we have the John Bircher branch of the republican party (aka Tea Party) or folks with even less of a grasp of reality (really Trump, Mexico is going to pay for this mythical wall you want to build?).
Seriously, the republican party is getting exponentially worse.
posted by el io at 11:32 PM on December 5, 2015 [6 favorites]
Good job metafilter. A decent man is demonized along with his family for shits and giggles.
You agree with his political positions regarding gay marriage, health care, background checks on gun purchasers, climate change, oceanography research, minimum wage, abortion rights, capital punishment, student debt, and so on?
Because his policy positions seem to have an extraordinary contempt for human suffering. How many straw-purchased guns or forcibly unmarried couples does he have to rack up before you consider it demonic? How many degrees Celsius does the ocean have to warm?
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:32 PM on December 5, 2015 [31 favorites]
You agree with his political positions regarding gay marriage, health care, background checks on gun purchasers, climate change, oceanography research, minimum wage, abortion rights, capital punishment, student debt, and so on?
Because his policy positions seem to have an extraordinary contempt for human suffering. How many straw-purchased guns or forcibly unmarried couples does he have to rack up before you consider it demonic? How many degrees Celsius does the ocean have to warm?
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:32 PM on December 5, 2015 [31 favorites]
Yes, these are the worst GOP primary candidates in the history of ever by a factor of about a million. What we all wouldn't give right now for a senescent war hero or a square-jawed stuffed suit.
posted by prize bull octorok
That would of course require a Republican well-connected enough to run for president to be simultaneously poorly-connected enough to fail to have gotten out of being drafted at some point in the past two generations
posted by DoctorFedora at 12:28 AM on December 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok
That would of course require a Republican well-connected enough to run for president to be simultaneously poorly-connected enough to fail to have gotten out of being drafted at some point in the past two generations
posted by DoctorFedora at 12:28 AM on December 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
Wait until it Gohmert's turn.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:55 AM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:55 AM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Who the fuck is voting for the this Tail Gunner Joe 2.0?
Seriously, who voted him into the senate?
Good job metafilter. A decent man is demonized along with his family for shits and giggles.
You do realize it's Ted Cruz, right?
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 1:26 AM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
Seriously, who voted him into the senate?
Good job metafilter. A decent man is demonized along with his family for shits and giggles.
You do realize it's Ted Cruz, right?
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 1:26 AM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
Good job, Metafilter. A decent man is demonized along with his family for shits and giggles.
Welcome to Metafilter, Ted Cruz.
posted by nevercalm at 2:13 AM on December 6, 2015 [53 favorites]
Welcome to Metafilter, Ted Cruz.
posted by nevercalm at 2:13 AM on December 6, 2015 [53 favorites]
Ted Cruz is a billion squirming grubs in a skinsuit.
Ted Cruz is a soft pink machine weeping poisoned honey.
Ted Cruz is the howling void at the heart of madness, with better hair.
Ted Cruz is a walking, talking, sniveling block of pure unadulterated evil.
No politician, up to and including Ronald Reagan, George Wallace, and Dan Quayle has ever scared me like Ted Cruz scares me. He is an existential threat not just to our nation, but to our SPECIES. Ted Cruz gives me the heebie-jeebies, the screaming fantods, night sweats, halitosis, and persistent low-grade depression. I hope he gets hit by a fucking bus.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:35 AM on December 6, 2015 [45 favorites]
Ted Cruz is a soft pink machine weeping poisoned honey.
Ted Cruz is the howling void at the heart of madness, with better hair.
Ted Cruz is a walking, talking, sniveling block of pure unadulterated evil.
No politician, up to and including Ronald Reagan, George Wallace, and Dan Quayle has ever scared me like Ted Cruz scares me. He is an existential threat not just to our nation, but to our SPECIES. Ted Cruz gives me the heebie-jeebies, the screaming fantods, night sweats, halitosis, and persistent low-grade depression. I hope he gets hit by a fucking bus.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:35 AM on December 6, 2015 [45 favorites]
Wait until it Gohmert's turn.
Please- they still can't even keep his tie out of his mouth.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:55 AM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
Please- they still can't even keep his tie out of his mouth.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:55 AM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
Cruz wasn't even born in the United States, so his candidacy is even more of a joke than he is.
That is not the dispute that I would have w/r/t Cruz and the phrase "natural-born".
posted by indubitable at 4:59 AM on December 6, 2015 [25 favorites]
That is not the dispute that I would have w/r/t Cruz and the phrase "natural-born".
posted by indubitable at 4:59 AM on December 6, 2015 [25 favorites]
Let’s be real here: every candidate is doing these sit-downs. It’s part of the game. This isn’t some secret thing that Cruz has dreamed up. If you think Clinton and Sanders aren’t banking a million of these, I don’t know what to say.
...
I —what? I want a candidate to know their audience. I want a candidate who knows how to communicate. And while I certainly buy the notion of referring to “college” instead of Princeton to avoid alienating folks, it hardly seems like a deep tactical insight. (Indeed, I’d argue that mentioning any specific institution would be silly. Would a candidate who went to OSU would to make a point of it and alienate everyone who went to a different big 10 school? Christie’s been hurt by liking the Cowboys and not the NJ-football-team, for goodness sakes.)
...
This is generic B-Roll footage. It’s weird, awkward, and funny because the process of shooting B-Roll is weird and awkward.
All of those points are obviously true, but what you're missing is that the footage is just an excuse to have a thread like this, where everyone competes to make up the most over-the-top insults about Ted Cruz. Just let everyone have some fun.
posted by officer_fred at 5:36 AM on December 6, 2015 [8 favorites]
...
I —what? I want a candidate to know their audience. I want a candidate who knows how to communicate. And while I certainly buy the notion of referring to “college” instead of Princeton to avoid alienating folks, it hardly seems like a deep tactical insight. (Indeed, I’d argue that mentioning any specific institution would be silly. Would a candidate who went to OSU would to make a point of it and alienate everyone who went to a different big 10 school? Christie’s been hurt by liking the Cowboys and not the NJ-football-team, for goodness sakes.)
...
This is generic B-Roll footage. It’s weird, awkward, and funny because the process of shooting B-Roll is weird and awkward.
All of those points are obviously true, but what you're missing is that the footage is just an excuse to have a thread like this, where everyone competes to make up the most over-the-top insults about Ted Cruz. Just let everyone have some fun.
posted by officer_fred at 5:36 AM on December 6, 2015 [8 favorites]
It doesn't concern me so much that I find a person with wildly different political opinions and social mores repulsive. What concerns me is that this... person is offered as a candidate for the highest office in the United States, and there is a damn-near majority of people in this country who will happily vote for this man and against their own interests in order to ensure that women and brown people stay where they belong, the government doesn't get any more of the pitifully small amount of money they're allowed to make, and they can get a gun anytime they want to.
That keeps me up at night.
posted by Mooski at 5:50 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
That keeps me up at night.
posted by Mooski at 5:50 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
Wow. Even his own mom can't convincingly say she loves him.
posted by sourwookie at 6:02 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by sourwookie at 6:02 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
Well the Cruz campaign probably figures it can use this very revelation as a way of keeping up the GOP-are-persecuted-underdogs facade, right? "The liberals are politicizing our home videos now! Is nothing sacred to them?" And so Cruz remains in the news. Mission accomplished.
posted by Western Infidels at 6:20 AM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Western Infidels at 6:20 AM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yeah we definitely turned some kind of corner this year as far as insanity among Republican candidates goes. John McCain was a saint compared to the entire current pack of clowns.
posted by bracems at 6:27 AM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by bracems at 6:27 AM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
On behalf of all Canadians, I just wanted to thank you for taking him off our hands.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:37 AM on December 6, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by blue_beetle at 6:37 AM on December 6, 2015 [11 favorites]
John McCain was a saint compared to the entire current pack of clowns.
Right until he put Palin on the ticket. That immediately transformed me from "Meh, he wouldn't be so bad" to "I'm driving to Nevada to knock on doors."
posted by hwyengr at 6:50 AM on December 6, 2015 [6 favorites]
Right until he put Palin on the ticket. That immediately transformed me from "Meh, he wouldn't be so bad" to "I'm driving to Nevada to knock on doors."
posted by hwyengr at 6:50 AM on December 6, 2015 [6 favorites]
Cruz wasn't even born in the United States, so his candidacy is even more of a joke than he is.
He was born to an American mother, so he's a natural-born American citizen.
That was never said about Obama - because if this is true, then Obama could have been born anywhere, including Kenya. Instead, there were some who claimed that he wasn't a natural born American citizen because Hawaii wasn't a state yet. (Which, now that I think of it, may also not even be true. I have to check the dates).
How about we ask Donald Trump whether Cruz is eligible to run?
posted by jb at 6:51 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
He was born to an American mother, so he's a natural-born American citizen.
That was never said about Obama - because if this is true, then Obama could have been born anywhere, including Kenya. Instead, there were some who claimed that he wasn't a natural born American citizen because Hawaii wasn't a state yet. (Which, now that I think of it, may also not even be true. I have to check the dates).
How about we ask Donald Trump whether Cruz is eligible to run?
posted by jb at 6:51 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
"We will carpet bomb them into oblivion. I don’t know if sand can glow in the dark, but we’re going to find out," Cruz said at the Rising Tide Summit in Cedar Rapids.
This man cannot be allowed anywhere near the controls for nuclear fucking weapons. This man shouldn't be allowed near a fucking firecracker.
posted by Talez at 6:52 AM on December 6, 2015 [20 favorites]
This man cannot be allowed anywhere near the controls for nuclear fucking weapons. This man shouldn't be allowed near a fucking firecracker.
posted by Talez at 6:52 AM on December 6, 2015 [20 favorites]
I voted for Cruz and all I got was this lousy Christmas sweater.
posted by honestcoyote at 6:53 AM on December 6, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by honestcoyote at 6:53 AM on December 6, 2015 [6 favorites]
That was never said about Obama - because if this is true, then Obama could have been born anywhere, including Kenya. Instead, there were some who claimed that he wasn't a natural born American citizen because Hawaii wasn't a state yet. (Which, now that I think of it, may also not even be true. I have to check the dates).
One, yes, Hawaii was a state when Barack Obama was born there. He was born in 1961, Hawaii became a state in 1959. Two, the reason being born outside the US would have posed a problem for Obama (but not for Ted Cruz) is because of a now-defunct law that said a child born outside the States received automatic citizenship under only some circumstances when only one parent is a citizen.
The phrasing that gets quoted most often is "If only one parent was a U.S. citizen at the time of your birth, that parent must have resided in the United States for at least ten years, at least five of which had to be after the age of 16." Since Ann Dunham was 18 when she gave birth to her son, she could not pass that test, and a Kenyan-born Barack Obama would not have been a natural-born citizen. However, in the real world that doesn't matter because the Constitutional guarantee of birthright citizenship for anyone born in the United States trumps statute.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 7:29 AM on December 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
One, yes, Hawaii was a state when Barack Obama was born there. He was born in 1961, Hawaii became a state in 1959. Two, the reason being born outside the US would have posed a problem for Obama (but not for Ted Cruz) is because of a now-defunct law that said a child born outside the States received automatic citizenship under only some circumstances when only one parent is a citizen.
The phrasing that gets quoted most often is "If only one parent was a U.S. citizen at the time of your birth, that parent must have resided in the United States for at least ten years, at least five of which had to be after the age of 16." Since Ann Dunham was 18 when she gave birth to her son, she could not pass that test, and a Kenyan-born Barack Obama would not have been a natural-born citizen. However, in the real world that doesn't matter because the Constitutional guarantee of birthright citizenship for anyone born in the United States trumps statute.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 7:29 AM on December 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
I voted for Cruz and all I got was this lousy Christmas sweater.
Oh. My. Gawd.
I would so buy that if the money didn't go to support that festering pustule.
Ted Cruz flanked by rattlesnakes. Why don't the rattlesnakes bite him, you might ask?
Professional courtesy.
posted by Floydd at 7:36 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
Oh. My. Gawd.
I would so buy that if the money didn't go to support that festering pustule.
Ted Cruz flanked by rattlesnakes. Why don't the rattlesnakes bite him, you might ask?
Professional courtesy.
posted by Floydd at 7:36 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
In the real world, the questions about Cruz's citizenship go unasked and will never be a serious problem because he presents as white.
posted by palomar at 7:46 AM on December 6, 2015 [15 favorites]
posted by palomar at 7:46 AM on December 6, 2015 [15 favorites]
Also, though I'm too broke to participate meaningfully in elections gambling, I am increasingly certain that Cruz is going to win Iowa on the strength of his support from evangelicals. Moreover, I am increasingly certain that once any of the not-Trumps distinguishes themselves from the pack by winning anything, all the not-Trump voters will flow to them, along with all of the establishment money.
For what it's worth, I think you're on target here, although the money boys know well that Iowa is a collection of overly religious dingleberries on its Republican side and that it'll take more than one victory to signify anything. I mean, they're _still_ not sure who won the Iowa Republican caucuses in 2012, and regardless of who actually won them, the third-place finisher walked away with three-quarters of the delegates.
Cruz is not some brand-new phenomenon, a pile of otherworldly DNA injected into our political system by alien scientists to liven up the experiment. Ruthless self-promotion, slavish devotion to conservative ideals, and disdain for compromise are not exactly uncharacteristic of the Republican brand. What sets Cruz apart is that there's no one out there hungrier for power and personal gain, and he's savvy enough to recognize that you don't always have to win a majority to end up at the controls. The Crazified 27% aren't enough to win a national election on their own but they're an awfully nice chip to have in your pile when jockeying for influence.
He's got an odd charisma and openness to him -- he won't stab you in the back, he'll stab you in the chest while he's describing to you how he's stabbing you and at what angle the next stab will come from. He's like a carnival game barker explaining how the game is rigged even as he talks you into throwing another $5 down. And where Trump grasps the Wallace formula but has trouble being taken seriously, Cruz is pulling off the feat of being embedded in Congress AND being revered by his base as an outsider. He can win OR lose this election and find a way to come out ahead.
posted by delfin at 7:50 AM on December 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
For what it's worth, I think you're on target here, although the money boys know well that Iowa is a collection of overly religious dingleberries on its Republican side and that it'll take more than one victory to signify anything. I mean, they're _still_ not sure who won the Iowa Republican caucuses in 2012, and regardless of who actually won them, the third-place finisher walked away with three-quarters of the delegates.
Cruz is not some brand-new phenomenon, a pile of otherworldly DNA injected into our political system by alien scientists to liven up the experiment. Ruthless self-promotion, slavish devotion to conservative ideals, and disdain for compromise are not exactly uncharacteristic of the Republican brand. What sets Cruz apart is that there's no one out there hungrier for power and personal gain, and he's savvy enough to recognize that you don't always have to win a majority to end up at the controls. The Crazified 27% aren't enough to win a national election on their own but they're an awfully nice chip to have in your pile when jockeying for influence.
He's got an odd charisma and openness to him -- he won't stab you in the back, he'll stab you in the chest while he's describing to you how he's stabbing you and at what angle the next stab will come from. He's like a carnival game barker explaining how the game is rigged even as he talks you into throwing another $5 down. And where Trump grasps the Wallace formula but has trouble being taken seriously, Cruz is pulling off the feat of being embedded in Congress AND being revered by his base as an outsider. He can win OR lose this election and find a way to come out ahead.
posted by delfin at 7:50 AM on December 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
I voted for Cruz and all I got was this lousy Christmas sweater.
Holy crap. The file name for the image is actually "Ugly-Sweater.jpg".
If anyone is really serious about wanting to wear this sweater ironically, I wouldn't mind recreating the image and putting it on a different site.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:56 AM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
Holy crap. The file name for the image is actually "Ugly-Sweater.jpg".
If anyone is really serious about wanting to wear this sweater ironically, I wouldn't mind recreating the image and putting it on a different site.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:56 AM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
I voted for Cruz and all I got was this lousy Christmas sweater.
If I didn't think it might actually help his campaign, I might get one of these and win every horrible sweater contest this year.
posted by chimaera at 8:31 AM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Nobody noticed he put his little girls in lingerie, and on public display in a designer boudoir, with daddy? Is that something conservative candidates do these days, prep their girls like this?
"a billion squirming grubs in a skin suit."
I have a whole new appreciation for political poetry...
posted by Oyéah at 8:53 AM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
"a billion squirming grubs in a skin suit."
I have a whole new appreciation for political poetry...
posted by Oyéah at 8:53 AM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
A decent man
This as decency is something I am unfamiliar with.
If this is decent I can't even fathom who could be called a saintly man. That the likes of Cruz get any traction is a sure sign that we're all pretty much fucking doomed.
posted by juiceCake at 9:24 AM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
This as decency is something I am unfamiliar with.
If this is decent I can't even fathom who could be called a saintly man. That the likes of Cruz get any traction is a sure sign that we're all pretty much fucking doomed.
posted by juiceCake at 9:24 AM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
However, in the real world that doesn't matter because the Constitutional guarantee of birthright citizenship for anyone born in the United States trumps statute.
And yet Donald Trump's entire first candidacy was based around "HE'S FROM KENYA", which continued to be repeated on FOX News, in varying degrees from veiled references to outright accusations of treason, for Obama's entire first term right up until his reelection, and conitnues to this day in the hateradio-o-sphere. Cruz has the exact same type of illegitimacy "problem", yet the right wing fever swamp shrugged it's collective shoulders.
That kind of willingness to demagogue an issue with demonizing, eliminiationist rhetoric, yet turn a blind eye when it's a white guy "from" Texas is a perfect illustration of Ted Cruz's "decent" GOP. Constitutionality for Ted Cruz and the GOP is something to be used a sword against their enemies, Democrats and Democratic leaning voters included, but is never an obstacle to implementing their agenda or getting their man across the line.
posted by T.D. Strange at 10:19 AM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
And yet Donald Trump's entire first candidacy was based around "HE'S FROM KENYA", which continued to be repeated on FOX News, in varying degrees from veiled references to outright accusations of treason, for Obama's entire first term right up until his reelection, and conitnues to this day in the hateradio-o-sphere. Cruz has the exact same type of illegitimacy "problem", yet the right wing fever swamp shrugged it's collective shoulders.
That kind of willingness to demagogue an issue with demonizing, eliminiationist rhetoric, yet turn a blind eye when it's a white guy "from" Texas is a perfect illustration of Ted Cruz's "decent" GOP. Constitutionality for Ted Cruz and the GOP is something to be used a sword against their enemies, Democrats and Democratic leaning voters included, but is never an obstacle to implementing their agenda or getting their man across the line.
posted by T.D. Strange at 10:19 AM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
He would be perfect as the witch in a production of Hansel and Gretel.
posted by sallybrown at 10:40 AM on December 6, 2015
posted by sallybrown at 10:40 AM on December 6, 2015
Dickensian poisoner-harlequin Ted Cruz
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:06 AM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:06 AM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
Okay, I need some help here-I won't vote for Hillary, not gonna happen in a zillion years, and Bernie Sanders is not viable for me either (I am sure he's a nice guy, just don't agree with his politics. Nothing personal.)
So,being a Republican, who on earth DO I VOTE FOR???? I'm serious!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 11:25 AM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
So,being a Republican, who on earth DO I VOTE FOR???? I'm serious!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 11:25 AM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Lindsey Graham seems like he might be the one who's closest to sane. For instance.
Of course, he has a snowball's chance of making it to the general election, so that only does you so much good.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:32 AM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Of course, he has a snowball's chance of making it to the general election, so that only does you so much good.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:32 AM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
So,being a Republican, who on earth DO I VOTE FOR???? I'm serious!
Well, for starters, I submit to you that if you don't see a Republican to vote for, you don't have to vote Republican. Vote for a candidate, not a party. This ain't Sharks v Jets.
But, if you simply must have someone with a R next to their name, Kasich and Christie are, IMO, people that would be as effective as Clinton, from a pure competence standpoint. Someone has to hold the nuclear codes and hire a staff.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:42 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
Well, for starters, I submit to you that if you don't see a Republican to vote for, you don't have to vote Republican. Vote for a candidate, not a party. This ain't Sharks v Jets.
But, if you simply must have someone with a R next to their name, Kasich and Christie are, IMO, people that would be as effective as Clinton, from a pure competence standpoint. Someone has to hold the nuclear codes and hire a staff.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:42 AM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
Look, St. Alia of the Bunnies, I know we disagree on some very fundamental issues, but I also know that in your deepest heart you're a decent person and want the best for everyone. So I'm sorry to break the news to you that there is literally no Republican running for national office whose platform does not consist of pure venom aimed at destroying the beating heart of everything America stands for. Not a single one. I'm sorry.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:42 AM on December 6, 2015 [47 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:42 AM on December 6, 2015 [47 favorites]
Rubio is being revered by his base as an "outsider?" Says who? He's a sitting U.S. Senator who's been on a zillion news shows, commenting on everything under the sun. He does not constantly troll people the way Cruz does. (Go back and watch an appearance he made on "The Daily Show" a few months ago. He was amiable, was even a good sport about the "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" segment that aired before his interview. This sort of behavior is why he could be taken more seriously by a larger audience. Only his significant dealing-with-money issues could really hurt him.)
He gave a high-profile, minority party response to a State of the Union in 2013, where he seemed to be impossibly thirsty, but... Didn't hurt him. He's been a regular TV presence for years now. He does not get to claim that he has that outsider swag, and I'm doubting he has.
posted by raysmj at 11:52 AM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
He gave a high-profile, minority party response to a State of the Union in 2013, where he seemed to be impossibly thirsty, but... Didn't hurt him. He's been a regular TV presence for years now. He does not get to claim that he has that outsider swag, and I'm doubting he has.
posted by raysmj at 11:52 AM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
St. Alia, from what I remember about what seemed important to you (and I could be way off base), I'd think Kasich might be the closest match for you. But right now it looks like he doesn't have a chance.
Glad to see you back.
posted by dilettante at 12:23 PM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
Glad to see you back.
posted by dilettante at 12:23 PM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
Animated daguerrotype of an 1850s flim-flam man Ted Cruz.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:58 PM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:58 PM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
On behalf of all Canadians, I just wanted to thank you for taking him off our hands.
The polite thing to do would be to take him back to Alberta.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 1:18 PM on December 6, 2015
The polite thing to do would be to take him back to Alberta.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 1:18 PM on December 6, 2015
So,being a Republican, who on earth DO I VOTE FOR???? I'm serious!
My serious response is to not view politics as a team sport. Look at every candidates' position on the real issues you care most about. Figure out who you actually think is going to do a good job. But also pay attention to any positions they take that are loathsome to you, and factor that in as well.
Alternatively, if you can't not make it a team sport, and if you really want to make sure a Republican becomes president, you're best off supporting Rubio. Everything I've seen and read this year makes me think he has the best chance of winning the general election. Most of the others are so extreme they will likely drive moderates, even moderate registered Republicans, if such a thing exists anymore, into Clinton's camp.
posted by Caduceus at 1:47 PM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Scalzi's ranking of GOP candidates isn't identical to mine, but I'll recommend it anyway.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 2:05 PM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by Pater Aletheias at 2:05 PM on December 6, 2015 [9 favorites]
politics is a team sport, though, since party organizations and party platforms matter more than the identity of a given representative. Getting work done in politics requires having a party at your back, and so the things a given elected can do are constrained to those that their party will support them on. Going solo can work in rare circumstances, but typically a lone wolf tends to starve to death.
My standard advice to people looking for a responsible, sane-ish Conservative party is to say that they're in luck — the United States has one, called the Democratic Party.
But yeah, when you vote for an elected representative from a modern, unified party (a party that votes together along Westminster lines), you're not voting for a person, you're voting for a manifesto, a world-view that generates that manifesto, and an organization to implement that manifesto.
The Republicans have been a modern, unified party for a while — despite how they keep having little spasms where a rebel group splits to the right and then the rest of the party follows them. If you don't support the Republican worldview and platform planks anymore (which now more than ever can be summed up as xenophobia, patriarchy, nationalism, militarism, unregulated markets, and white supremacy), you won't find any candidate there for you, and if you can't find any candidate, that's a sign that you don't support the worldview.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:57 PM on December 6, 2015 [12 favorites]
My standard advice to people looking for a responsible, sane-ish Conservative party is to say that they're in luck — the United States has one, called the Democratic Party.
But yeah, when you vote for an elected representative from a modern, unified party (a party that votes together along Westminster lines), you're not voting for a person, you're voting for a manifesto, a world-view that generates that manifesto, and an organization to implement that manifesto.
The Republicans have been a modern, unified party for a while — despite how they keep having little spasms where a rebel group splits to the right and then the rest of the party follows them. If you don't support the Republican worldview and platform planks anymore (which now more than ever can be summed up as xenophobia, patriarchy, nationalism, militarism, unregulated markets, and white supremacy), you won't find any candidate there for you, and if you can't find any candidate, that's a sign that you don't support the worldview.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:57 PM on December 6, 2015 [12 favorites]
St. Alia, we need more data.
Do you want a candidate who has the slightest chance in hell of winning the nomination, or the one closest to your own beliefs?
Past that, each remaining candidate has his or her own identifying quirk. These include being VERY LOUD AND VERY ANGRY, being female, being black, being overweight, identifying really really strongly with the writings of (a) Ayn Rand, (b) Cleon Skousen or (c) a bunch of people about 2000 years ago, having specific groups of people that they'd like the American military to pound to dust, having to explain to the average person exactly who they are and why they're running, and emitting an aura of smugness that causes both friends and foes to hate his goddamn guts. (Obviously, that last one is Cruz.)
posted by delfin at 4:07 PM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Do you want a candidate who has the slightest chance in hell of winning the nomination, or the one closest to your own beliefs?
Past that, each remaining candidate has his or her own identifying quirk. These include being VERY LOUD AND VERY ANGRY, being female, being black, being overweight, identifying really really strongly with the writings of (a) Ayn Rand, (b) Cleon Skousen or (c) a bunch of people about 2000 years ago, having specific groups of people that they'd like the American military to pound to dust, having to explain to the average person exactly who they are and why they're running, and emitting an aura of smugness that causes both friends and foes to hate his goddamn guts. (Obviously, that last one is Cruz.)
posted by delfin at 4:07 PM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Is Pataki still in?
posted by Going To Maine at 4:11 PM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Going To Maine at 4:11 PM on December 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
So,being a Republican, who on earth DO I VOTE FOR???? I'm serious!
Maybe just stay home and don't vote?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:44 PM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
Maybe just stay home and don't vote?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:44 PM on December 6, 2015 [5 favorites]
I'm no Scalzi, but, in reverse order:
Ben Carson. Those pyramids and tithes and shit creep me out, and he hasn't convinced me he actually knows what the job is.
Donald Trump. He's Donald Trump.
Carly Fiorina. I got a robocall from her husband today, and he wished me a happy 'holiday season.'
Rick Santorum. The best thing about him is that he's a politician.
Rand Paul. The Republican kind of libertarianism seems to have surgically removed everything about libertarianism that I might actually like.
Ted Cruz. Even his friends don't like him.
Mike Huckabee. I live in Arkansas, and he governed pretty reasonably, for an Arkansas Republican preacher--he's a lot crazier on the campaign trail than he was in office. Might kind of give a shit about poor people.
Chris Christie. He is also an asshole.
Marco Rubio. Meh.
Jim Gilmore. He is not any of the other people on this list.
Jeb Bush. He could do the job, or at least hire people to do it for him.
Lindsey Graham. Let's be real--anybody running in either party is going to be more hawkish than I am.
John Kasich. I like competent adults. Unfortunately for him, I am almost a single-issue voter, and that issue is reproductive rights.
George Pataki. See John Kasich.
posted by box at 6:01 PM on December 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
Ben Carson. Those pyramids and tithes and shit creep me out, and he hasn't convinced me he actually knows what the job is.
Donald Trump. He's Donald Trump.
Carly Fiorina. I got a robocall from her husband today, and he wished me a happy 'holiday season.'
Rick Santorum. The best thing about him is that he's a politician.
Rand Paul. The Republican kind of libertarianism seems to have surgically removed everything about libertarianism that I might actually like.
Ted Cruz. Even his friends don't like him.
Mike Huckabee. I live in Arkansas, and he governed pretty reasonably, for an Arkansas Republican preacher--he's a lot crazier on the campaign trail than he was in office. Might kind of give a shit about poor people.
Chris Christie. He is also an asshole.
Marco Rubio. Meh.
Jim Gilmore. He is not any of the other people on this list.
Jeb Bush. He could do the job, or at least hire people to do it for him.
Lindsey Graham. Let's be real--anybody running in either party is going to be more hawkish than I am.
John Kasich. I like competent adults. Unfortunately for him, I am almost a single-issue voter, and that issue is reproductive rights.
George Pataki. See John Kasich.
posted by box at 6:01 PM on December 6, 2015 [4 favorites]
A person who self-identified as a Republican decades ago and has not kept up with what has been happening the past few years may be shocked to learn that the party has moved out from under them. If that person disagrees with the policies of current Republicans but votes for them anyway, because of some version of team loyalty, they're arguably doing democracy wrong. Maybe it would be best to think of yourself as an "Eisenhower Republican" or "Reagan Republican" and recognize that that Republican party doesn't exist currently and so you're best off voting the best policy match wherever it happens to be.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 6:48 PM on December 6, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by LastOfHisKind at 6:48 PM on December 6, 2015 [7 favorites]
I appreciate this bizarre video compilation. Very odd and very weird. 1:50-2:05 of the outtake clip is absolute GOLD. A must see.
If only we could get Ricky Gervais to narrate the outtake video.
posted by Muncle at 7:14 PM on December 6, 2015
If only we could get Ricky Gervais to narrate the outtake video.
posted by Muncle at 7:14 PM on December 6, 2015
@tedcruz: If I am elected President, I will direct the Department of Defense to destroy ISIS
posted by octothorpe at 7:36 PM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 7:36 PM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Here's the Daily Show's take on the Cruz footage.
(The segment from the show about this.)
posted by rorgy at 8:22 PM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
(The segment from the show about this.)
posted by rorgy at 8:22 PM on December 6, 2015 [3 favorites]
Sigh. Bring me a shovel and point me to Reagan's grave, I guess....(Not voting in my household is not an option....)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 10:00 PM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 10:00 PM on December 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
(OTOH I might as well research Kasich a bit more. By the time the primary hits NC will he even still be running??)
I have an uneasy feeling by the time I get to vote it will be Trump and Cruz neck and neck. (IF Trump really is serious about things-even at this point I wonder.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 10:05 PM on December 6, 2015
I have an uneasy feeling by the time I get to vote it will be Trump and Cruz neck and neck. (IF Trump really is serious about things-even at this point I wonder.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 10:05 PM on December 6, 2015
I would also guess Kasich for you. You might try one of those "Who do I vote for?" quizzes but I always find it's hard to tell them exactly what things are dealbreakers for me.
posted by Drinky Die at 11:01 PM on December 6, 2015
posted by Drinky Die at 11:01 PM on December 6, 2015
$5 says Rubio
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:42 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:42 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
There is something of repressed Nicholas Cage in Cruz. I mean, I can see Cruz maniacally pointing at people in the room screaming "Fuck YOU! And YOU! And fuck YOU! Yeah, YOU MOM! FUCK YOU ALL."
posted by angrycat at 4:08 AM on December 7, 2015
posted by angrycat at 4:08 AM on December 7, 2015
So,being a Republican, who on earth DO I VOTE FOR???? I'm serious!
I'm hearing good things about Deez Nuts. Sensible policies, running as in independent, and electable: I know for a fact that already came out on top of Santorum.
posted by Mayor West at 4:51 AM on December 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
I'm hearing good things about Deez Nuts. Sensible policies, running as in independent, and electable: I know for a fact that already came out on top of Santorum.
posted by Mayor West at 4:51 AM on December 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
One more thing, if you can't find someone you agree with on policy, I think it's very important to vote on competence. The biggest problem with Bush wasn't policy (though that was a huge problem) it was simply that he was obviously unfit and unprepared for the office. Look for the person who shows the most basic intelligence, leadership ability, patience, and empathy. Even if that has led them to some bad policies, they are more the sort of person who can be trusted in a crisis.
posted by Drinky Die at 5:48 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Drinky Die at 5:48 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
I don't think it's that simple -- stupid and evil aren't binary, and too much of either can create disastrous results.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:36 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by tonycpsu at 7:36 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
In a sane world, Clinton and Obama would be part of the Republican party, and people like Sanders would be more representative of actual liberal views. Clinton and Obama are largely pro-business, somewhat hawkish, traditional types who only move to the left because of lots of pressure (and because the Republicans push away all their attempts to work with them).
Honestly, you could vote for Clinton and tell yourself that you're voting for an Alternate Earth in a Sane Universe Republican, and be truer to classic conservative ideals than if you're voting for anyone currently seeking the Republican nomination.
(in that universe, no one knows who Trump is. We're largely free of oil dependence. Guns are highly regulated and you're considered weird if you want a lot of them. I want to live there.)
posted by emjaybee at 7:54 AM on December 7, 2015 [14 favorites]
Honestly, you could vote for Clinton and tell yourself that you're voting for an Alternate Earth in a Sane Universe Republican, and be truer to classic conservative ideals than if you're voting for anyone currently seeking the Republican nomination.
(in that universe, no one knows who Trump is. We're largely free of oil dependence. Guns are highly regulated and you're considered weird if you want a lot of them. I want to live there.)
posted by emjaybee at 7:54 AM on December 7, 2015 [14 favorites]
In a sane world, Clinton and Obama would be part of the Republican party, and people like Sanders would be more representative of actual liberal views.
Instead of calling this a "sane" universe, it might be better to think of it as the universe where the country is more left than it is.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:14 AM on December 7, 2015
Instead of calling this a "sane" universe, it might be better to think of it as the universe where the country is more left than it is.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:14 AM on December 7, 2015
Instead of calling this a "sane" universe, it might be better to think of it as the universe where the country is more left than it is.
Or the universe where there was not 40 years of concerted propaganda to demonize the word "liberal", and instead people voted their actual policy preferences rather than their team colors.
So yea, fantasy land.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:19 AM on December 7, 2015 [7 favorites]
Or the universe where there was not 40 years of concerted propaganda to demonize the word "liberal", and instead people voted their actual policy preferences rather than their team colors.
So yea, fantasy land.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:19 AM on December 7, 2015 [7 favorites]
Even if I were a liberal Clinton is a no go. For Reasons.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 8:31 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 8:31 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Wow. Even his own mom can't convincingly say she loves him.
To be fair, saying "I love you" kind of loses its meaning when you come to the 39th take of the same couch scene.
posted by ymgve at 9:33 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
To be fair, saying "I love you" kind of loses its meaning when you come to the 39th take of the same couch scene.
posted by ymgve at 9:33 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Or the universe where there was not 40 years of concerted propaganda to demonize the word "liberal", and instead people voted their actual policy preferences rather than their team colors.
Sure. I actually find this to be one of those really interesting shibboleths that verges on /is a legit conspiracy theory : Democrats aren't to blame for failing to show people that their policies better align with the public's desires. Rather, it's the fault of a vast and systemic alignment of right wing forces abusing the masses. There's truth to it, but the Democrats and the people deserve a little more respect and credit for being the captains of their fates.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:33 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Sure. I actually find this to be one of those really interesting shibboleths that verges on /is a legit conspiracy theory : Democrats aren't to blame for failing to show people that their policies better align with the public's desires. Rather, it's the fault of a vast and systemic alignment of right wing forces abusing the masses. There's truth to it, but the Democrats and the people deserve a little more respect and credit for being the captains of their fates.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:33 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
St. Alia of the Bunnies I suggest voting for Christie, I feel like he is just a guy I strongly disagree with rather than an emanation from the void draped in an obscene costume of human flesh, and it would be funny to have an eternally pissed-off guy from NJ be President.
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:43 AM on December 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:43 AM on December 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
To be fair, saying "I love you" kind of loses its meaning when you come to the 39th take of the same couch scene.
Sort of like how when you're trying to get your voicemail greeting just right and you start feeling like you must be getting your own name wrong and wait does this not happen to everyone?
posted by asperity at 9:55 AM on December 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
Sort of like how when you're trying to get your voicemail greeting just right and you start feeling like you must be getting your own name wrong and wait does this not happen to everyone?
posted by asperity at 9:55 AM on December 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
Speaking as a former New Jersey resident: please do not vote for Christie.
posted by rorgy at 10:08 AM on December 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by rorgy at 10:08 AM on December 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Democrats aren't to blame for failing to show people that their policies better align with the public's desires.
Do you talk to any liberals? There is an immense level of dissatisfaction among the party's base with the party's many failures to articulate a truly progressive agenda. If this weren't true, Bernie's campaign would have flamed out before anyone knew it was happening.
posted by tonycpsu at 10:27 AM on December 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Do you talk to any liberals? There is an immense level of dissatisfaction among the party's base with the party's many failures to articulate a truly progressive agenda. If this weren't true, Bernie's campaign would have flamed out before anyone knew it was happening.
posted by tonycpsu at 10:27 AM on December 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
I thought I sent this before... I expect I just got distracted but if this was deleted earlier (but there's no indication) sorry to make you delete it again.
Anyway.
Sigh. Bring me a shovel and point me to Reagan's grave, I guess....(Not voting in my household is not an option....)
There's really no need to overthink who you're going to vote for, especially for president or presidential nominee. The probability that your solitary vote will actually decide who the nominee is or who the president is is so close to zero that you can safely just vote for whoever you happen to like the best, for whatever reason tickles your fancy. If none of the candidates appeal to you in the primary, just trust your gut about who's the least weaselly. Most people's weasel-sense is pretty well-honed.
In the general election, for a conservative like you just blindly voting for all the Republicans (or even just ticking the straight-ticket box if NC still lets you do that) will 99% of the time result in the same set of votes as if you spent some absurd amount of time researching everyone's position about everything, except you could spend that time spoiling your grandbun or something else legitimately way more important to you. Parties make awesome informational shortcuts.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:31 AM on December 7, 2015
Anyway.
Sigh. Bring me a shovel and point me to Reagan's grave, I guess....(Not voting in my household is not an option....)
There's really no need to overthink who you're going to vote for, especially for president or presidential nominee. The probability that your solitary vote will actually decide who the nominee is or who the president is is so close to zero that you can safely just vote for whoever you happen to like the best, for whatever reason tickles your fancy. If none of the candidates appeal to you in the primary, just trust your gut about who's the least weaselly. Most people's weasel-sense is pretty well-honed.
In the general election, for a conservative like you just blindly voting for all the Republicans (or even just ticking the straight-ticket box if NC still lets you do that) will 99% of the time result in the same set of votes as if you spent some absurd amount of time researching everyone's position about everything, except you could spend that time spoiling your grandbun or something else legitimately way more important to you. Parties make awesome informational shortcuts.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:31 AM on December 7, 2015
> Instead of calling this a "sane" universe, it might be better to think of it as the universe where the country is more left than it is.
[...]
Sure. I actually find this to be one of those really interesting shibboleths that verges on /is a legit conspiracy theory : Democrats aren't to blame for failing to show people that their policies better align with the public's desires. Rather, it's the fault of a vast and systemic alignment of right wing forces abusing the masses. There's truth to it, but the Democrats and the people deserve a little more respect and credit for being the captains of their fates.
Alternately, the country's institutions, for various reasons, are on the whole to the right of the Democratic Party base and to the left of the Republican Party base. This is not because of any secret conspiracy, and it's also not because our institutions have found a happy medium between the extremists on both sides. Instead, it's because moneyed interests support a doctrine (free market liberalism, the idea that equality before the market is by itself enough to secure freedom) that almost no one else does, and because winning over moneyed interests is by and large a prerequisite for running a viable national-level campaign.
I mean I totally feel you on the "Democrats and the people are captains of their fates" idea, but in real terms they're not — parties and voters both must adapt their positions to fit into what's thinkable and sayable under our current institutional practices.
There are exceptions to this rule, of course — Sanders, though he's not going to actually win anything, is doing a decent job of running without the support of the people who hold most of the wealth, while Trump, as a holder of inherited wealth himself, is free to run a campaign well to the right of what most other wealth-holders would publicly support.
The Sanders phenomenon (which is, I think, indicative of something much bigger than just Sanders or his campaign) is a result of a complex set of social and media shifts related to the rise (for better or for worse) of social media over mass media, and to the increased desperation of people who've been stuck at the pointy end of neoliberalism since the start of the Great Recession. The abstract rights granted by liberalism don't mean much to hungry people, and so hungry people are less likely to hold their noses and vote for a liberal Democrat when what they really want is a socialist. The Trump phenomenon (which likewise is bigger than Trump or his campaign) is equivalent; right-wingers who are feeling the pinch of the long economic crisis and who blame that crisis on Blacks, immigrants, queers, poors, and uppity women aren't likely to support a liberal Republican when they've got a real fascist they can vote for instead.
As I see it, the reason why people tend not to think of our universe as "sane" is because we're capable of noticing the mismatch between the preferences of the people as a whole and the institutions that we're stuck working with. Liberalism is unpopular, and it's unpopular for good reason; on the whole unregulated markets only benefit the few people who have a lot of money, with everyone else ending up "freely choosing" to work long hours at multiple jobs for the benefit of the money-holders.
So basically what's happening isn't a conspiracy theory or whatever, it's just a long slow crisis of institutional legitimacy. The bulk of politically aware people on all sides don't view our institutions as fully reflective of the political views of the people who live under them, and that leads us to think that our institutions are, well, crazy. This is why many Tea Party Republicans can convincingly argue that the Republican party is too far to the left — they're too liberal to accurately represent a fascist base. This is also why socialists can convincingly argue that the Democratic Party is too far to the right — they're too liberal an organization to accurately represent a socialist base. This is also why mass media have alienated so many Americans; the mass media is liberal and corporatist because their advertisers and their corporate parents are liberal and corporatist, and so people who don't really hold liberal corporatist beliefs see mass media outlets as either too far to the left (if the person in question leans fascist) or too far to the right (if the person in question leans socialist). Both sides have good reason to dismiss mass media as "liberal."
IMO (as I believe I've said before), the only reasons liberalism lasted so long as an ideology in the United States is because we were so rich — as the only major industrialized country to emerge relatively unscathed from World War II,1 we had such a strong economic position for so long that even our unskilled workers made a decent living, despite the tendency of liberalism to strip money from unskilled workers. Likewise, the liberalism of 20th century America was moderated by the presence of a relatively robust welfare state, created out of fear that Bolshevism would look attractive to the lower classes unless we had enough spending money to get by.
I don't know if the breakdown of the liberal consensus in America is going to in the end result in any good for anybody — I strongly suspect that the United States is more fascist than socialist, and that when we finally cast off liberalism's hold on our political and media institutions, what we'll become will be even worse than what we already are.
I apologize, by the way, for insisting on using "liberalism" in the sense more associated with European politics than American ones — typically Americans tend to refer to market-oriented liberalism as "neoliberalism" rather than just "liberalism" full stop. The reason I insist on the less-common-in-America formulation isn't just to be tweaky and pretentious (though yes I am tweaky and pretentious), it's for a couple of related reasons. Firstly, it's because, well, there's not much new about neoliberalism. Secondly, though, it's because I think it's important to make it clear through our language that there are more than two distinct ideologies in play in the US right now. It's not like a Trumpist fascist is "extremely conservative," as if Trumpism were just conservatism turned up to 11 — Trumpism is something different from conservatism. Likewise, socialists aren't "extremely liberal" — they're people who believe in something significantly different from liberalism altogether. Liberalism is a third thing, different in nature from both socialism and fascism, rather than a middle-of-the-road compromise between the two ideologies.
1: Well, okay, unscathed in terms of production infrastructure; there's a very good case for the argument that the deep weirdness of the 1950s was a result of untreated PTSD among so many of the men who came back from the war with trauma that they didn't know how to deal with.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:37 AM on December 7, 2015 [17 favorites]
[...]
Sure. I actually find this to be one of those really interesting shibboleths that verges on /is a legit conspiracy theory : Democrats aren't to blame for failing to show people that their policies better align with the public's desires. Rather, it's the fault of a vast and systemic alignment of right wing forces abusing the masses. There's truth to it, but the Democrats and the people deserve a little more respect and credit for being the captains of their fates.
Alternately, the country's institutions, for various reasons, are on the whole to the right of the Democratic Party base and to the left of the Republican Party base. This is not because of any secret conspiracy, and it's also not because our institutions have found a happy medium between the extremists on both sides. Instead, it's because moneyed interests support a doctrine (free market liberalism, the idea that equality before the market is by itself enough to secure freedom) that almost no one else does, and because winning over moneyed interests is by and large a prerequisite for running a viable national-level campaign.
I mean I totally feel you on the "Democrats and the people are captains of their fates" idea, but in real terms they're not — parties and voters both must adapt their positions to fit into what's thinkable and sayable under our current institutional practices.
There are exceptions to this rule, of course — Sanders, though he's not going to actually win anything, is doing a decent job of running without the support of the people who hold most of the wealth, while Trump, as a holder of inherited wealth himself, is free to run a campaign well to the right of what most other wealth-holders would publicly support.
The Sanders phenomenon (which is, I think, indicative of something much bigger than just Sanders or his campaign) is a result of a complex set of social and media shifts related to the rise (for better or for worse) of social media over mass media, and to the increased desperation of people who've been stuck at the pointy end of neoliberalism since the start of the Great Recession. The abstract rights granted by liberalism don't mean much to hungry people, and so hungry people are less likely to hold their noses and vote for a liberal Democrat when what they really want is a socialist. The Trump phenomenon (which likewise is bigger than Trump or his campaign) is equivalent; right-wingers who are feeling the pinch of the long economic crisis and who blame that crisis on Blacks, immigrants, queers, poors, and uppity women aren't likely to support a liberal Republican when they've got a real fascist they can vote for instead.
As I see it, the reason why people tend not to think of our universe as "sane" is because we're capable of noticing the mismatch between the preferences of the people as a whole and the institutions that we're stuck working with. Liberalism is unpopular, and it's unpopular for good reason; on the whole unregulated markets only benefit the few people who have a lot of money, with everyone else ending up "freely choosing" to work long hours at multiple jobs for the benefit of the money-holders.
So basically what's happening isn't a conspiracy theory or whatever, it's just a long slow crisis of institutional legitimacy. The bulk of politically aware people on all sides don't view our institutions as fully reflective of the political views of the people who live under them, and that leads us to think that our institutions are, well, crazy. This is why many Tea Party Republicans can convincingly argue that the Republican party is too far to the left — they're too liberal to accurately represent a fascist base. This is also why socialists can convincingly argue that the Democratic Party is too far to the right — they're too liberal an organization to accurately represent a socialist base. This is also why mass media have alienated so many Americans; the mass media is liberal and corporatist because their advertisers and their corporate parents are liberal and corporatist, and so people who don't really hold liberal corporatist beliefs see mass media outlets as either too far to the left (if the person in question leans fascist) or too far to the right (if the person in question leans socialist). Both sides have good reason to dismiss mass media as "liberal."
IMO (as I believe I've said before), the only reasons liberalism lasted so long as an ideology in the United States is because we were so rich — as the only major industrialized country to emerge relatively unscathed from World War II,1 we had such a strong economic position for so long that even our unskilled workers made a decent living, despite the tendency of liberalism to strip money from unskilled workers. Likewise, the liberalism of 20th century America was moderated by the presence of a relatively robust welfare state, created out of fear that Bolshevism would look attractive to the lower classes unless we had enough spending money to get by.
I don't know if the breakdown of the liberal consensus in America is going to in the end result in any good for anybody — I strongly suspect that the United States is more fascist than socialist, and that when we finally cast off liberalism's hold on our political and media institutions, what we'll become will be even worse than what we already are.
I apologize, by the way, for insisting on using "liberalism" in the sense more associated with European politics than American ones — typically Americans tend to refer to market-oriented liberalism as "neoliberalism" rather than just "liberalism" full stop. The reason I insist on the less-common-in-America formulation isn't just to be tweaky and pretentious (though yes I am tweaky and pretentious), it's for a couple of related reasons. Firstly, it's because, well, there's not much new about neoliberalism. Secondly, though, it's because I think it's important to make it clear through our language that there are more than two distinct ideologies in play in the US right now. It's not like a Trumpist fascist is "extremely conservative," as if Trumpism were just conservatism turned up to 11 — Trumpism is something different from conservatism. Likewise, socialists aren't "extremely liberal" — they're people who believe in something significantly different from liberalism altogether. Liberalism is a third thing, different in nature from both socialism and fascism, rather than a middle-of-the-road compromise between the two ideologies.
1: Well, okay, unscathed in terms of production infrastructure; there's a very good case for the argument that the deep weirdness of the 1950s was a result of untreated PTSD among so many of the men who came back from the war with trauma that they didn't know how to deal with.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:37 AM on December 7, 2015 [17 favorites]
and, well, if you're looking for the second coming of Ronald Reagan, you have him — Donald Trump. Vote for him in good conscience.
srsly though Reagan was the guy who launched his presidential campaign by giving a speech on the importance of state's rights in a small town known only for being the site of the murder of several civil rights workers. The chief distinction between Trump and Reagan is that Reagan had to spend some time instituting gun control in California before running at the national level, while Trump's money has allowed him to go directly from being a celebrity to being a presidential candidate. If you liked Reagan, Trump's your man.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:48 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
srsly though Reagan was the guy who launched his presidential campaign by giving a speech on the importance of state's rights in a small town known only for being the site of the murder of several civil rights workers. The chief distinction between Trump and Reagan is that Reagan had to spend some time instituting gun control in California before running at the national level, while Trump's money has allowed him to go directly from being a celebrity to being a presidential candidate. If you liked Reagan, Trump's your man.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 10:48 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
What a long and good comment! Honestly, this is why I really, really want a better voting system than first-past-the-post, a national holiday on election day, and other changes to those areas. How I wish Lessig had gotten to make that case in the Democratic debates.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:09 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Going To Maine at 11:09 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
See, I used to think that, now I think we should just set up militant worker's councils and then transfer all power to them. :)
Less flippantly: Although I used to be a big fan of Lessig, I don't know if electoral reform is the answer. Keep in mind that liberalism is much less popular in Europe than it is in the United States, and that most European elections are run under rules more democratic than the first-past-the-post rules in place in the US — but even so (neo)liberal interests have gotten enough control over national-level and EU-level institutions to put in place (neo)liberal austerity policies that pretty much everyone who's not a well-off self-interested German rightfully despises.
My happy place in politics right now, for whatever it's worth, is the municipal level. In the hip west coast cities, at least, socialism is a viable organizing principle, and socialist candidates of various stripes and tendencies actually stand a chance at winning office and setting policy. Although a city council member here and a mayor there doesn't seem like something that makes much of an impact, people who:
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 11:29 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Less flippantly: Although I used to be a big fan of Lessig, I don't know if electoral reform is the answer. Keep in mind that liberalism is much less popular in Europe than it is in the United States, and that most European elections are run under rules more democratic than the first-past-the-post rules in place in the US — but even so (neo)liberal interests have gotten enough control over national-level and EU-level institutions to put in place (neo)liberal austerity policies that pretty much everyone who's not a well-off self-interested German rightfully despises.
My happy place in politics right now, for whatever it's worth, is the municipal level. In the hip west coast cities, at least, socialism is a viable organizing principle, and socialist candidates of various stripes and tendencies actually stand a chance at winning office and setting policy. Although a city council member here and a mayor there doesn't seem like something that makes much of an impact, people who:
- Are on the left, and,
- Have actual experience running successful electoral campaigns, and running elected officials' offices, and who
- know how to work with the media.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 11:29 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
My happy place in politics right now, for whatever it's worth, is the municipal level.
I am of the same mind, and for a while, I've been on the hunt for some sort of study or writing that articulates just how much of our daily life is affected by federal, state, and local policy respectively - I tend to think that most people pay a disproportionate amount of attention to federal policy (esp. for issues other than foreign policy, which is inherently federal) at the expense of important local issues.
posted by R a c h e l at 8:10 AM on December 8, 2015
I am of the same mind, and for a while, I've been on the hunt for some sort of study or writing that articulates just how much of our daily life is affected by federal, state, and local policy respectively - I tend to think that most people pay a disproportionate amount of attention to federal policy (esp. for issues other than foreign policy, which is inherently federal) at the expense of important local issues.
posted by R a c h e l at 8:10 AM on December 8, 2015
most people pay a disproportionate amount of attention to federal policy (esp. for issues other than foreign policy, which is inherently federal) at the expense of important local issues.
Yep. My city may have gotten some transportation grant money from the feds, but deciding to use it to put in the 4-lane-to-3-lane conversion I'd been asking for (with a pedestrian island to come!) was an entirely local process. Not the most dramatic of changes, and it's not newsworthy on even a metro-area level, but it's satisfying to have real, visible improvements successfully implemented without a horrifying mess of grandstanding on CSPAN.
The little victories help us deal with the entirely-reasonable despair brought on by all the larger problems we can't solve quickly or easily by ourselves. Local politics are definitely not perfect, and they're as infected by the dysfunctional national zeitgeist as everything else, but they're a place to start.
posted by asperity at 8:37 AM on December 8, 2015
Yep. My city may have gotten some transportation grant money from the feds, but deciding to use it to put in the 4-lane-to-3-lane conversion I'd been asking for (with a pedestrian island to come!) was an entirely local process. Not the most dramatic of changes, and it's not newsworthy on even a metro-area level, but it's satisfying to have real, visible improvements successfully implemented without a horrifying mess of grandstanding on CSPAN.
The little victories help us deal with the entirely-reasonable despair brought on by all the larger problems we can't solve quickly or easily by ourselves. Local politics are definitely not perfect, and they're as infected by the dysfunctional national zeitgeist as everything else, but they're a place to start.
posted by asperity at 8:37 AM on December 8, 2015
X-post from the Trump thread: Looks like Cruz's focus on Iowa evangelicals is paying off. The gold-standard Selzer poll shows him at 31% after whopping 21-point surge, ten points ahead of Trump.
posted by Rhaomi at 5:00 PM on December 12, 2015
posted by Rhaomi at 5:00 PM on December 12, 2015
Maybe this was what that footage was for...
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:56 PM on December 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:56 PM on December 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
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