My Autistic Brother's Quest for Love

February 25, 2016 1:42 PM

Randy is 27, one of 3.5 million Americans on the autism spectrum. He suffers from what is officially called PDD, or pervasive developmental disorder. "My brother has always wanted what most of us do: love. Someone to care about. Someone who will care in return. Someone other than our mother." A loving sister chronicles her brother's search for a lasting relationship.
posted by narancia (12 comments total)

Wow, it's fucking hard to be human sometimes.
posted by Melismata at 2:12 PM on February 25, 2016 [13 favorites]

I came in here to say something about how that article made me feel, but hey, Melismata, you summed it up. Nothing to add to that.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:17 PM on February 25, 2016

As an older sister myself, I was just wrenched by the author's evident heartsickness for her brother which is one of the reasons I shared it here. And I also thought about the fact that as the only sibling, she will be the one responsible for him when they get older.
posted by narancia at 2:31 PM on February 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

In case anyone else was curious how Randy feels about the article: I looked up his Twitter and he seems quite happy about it and to be promoting it a lot. Clearly he and Danielle have a very supportive sibling relationship.
posted by thetortoise at 3:18 PM on February 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

As the parent of a severly autisitc child, yep, that sums it up. Teenage years right around the corner, and no real hope in sight.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:10 PM on February 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

I didn't see anywhere in the article that Randy has been taught that women are human beings.
posted by brujita at 8:59 PM on February 25, 2016

I didn't see anywhere in the article that Randy has been taught that women are human beings.

With the caveat that it's written from the perspective of a sibling who won't say a bad word about him this seems like an odd response to the story portrayed.
posted by atoxyl at 1:27 AM on February 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I didn't see anywhere in the article that Randy has been taught that women are human beings.

What an odd comment. Is there any indication that he does not treat women as human beings?

Or to channel Forrest Gumpp: He may be dumb, but he does seem to know what love is.

He also seems to have more relationships than many non-spectrum people that I know.
posted by sour cream at 1:50 AM on February 26, 2016

I didn't see anywhere in the article that Randy uses the restroom. Should I therefore assume that he's been holding his pee for decades?
posted by Bugbread at 4:22 AM on February 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Respectfully, his problem with seeing people is not just with women.
posted by Melismata at 6:18 AM on February 26, 2016

I'd assume that if he didn't think of these women as human beings, they'd be able to pick up on it well before they got involved. Which isn't to say that he's necessarily a good partner, but that he's pretty clearly making these women his priority. The women didn't get granted humanity in the story though. Because it was published by Esquire. Horrible people, even when they cover interesting stories.
posted by ambrosen at 5:01 PM on February 26, 2016

I didn't see anywhere in the article that Randy has been taught that women are human beings.

I'm trying to give this comment the benefit of the doubt, but I want to note that the difficulties Randy has with evaluating whether romantic partners are trustworthy, taking advantage of him, etc., are at least as common with autistic women as well.
posted by thetortoise at 7:59 PM on February 26, 2016 [1 favorite]