April 1, 2002

3:30 PM

A 'cussing canoeist' was almost robbed of his right to swear in public. Timothy Boomer yelled the f word close to 75 times in front of a 5 and 2 yo after falling out of his canoe on the Rifle River in Michigan. I damn near fell of my chair laughing!
posted by Why (12 comments total)

This is a disgrace. This guy needs to be locked up. He had the perfect chance to use creative profanities infront of small children and what does he do? He uses the boring "f" word maybe 75 times. I believe the young generation needs to learn a variety of creative profanities, just using the "f" word won't cut it today.

And on the other side of the coin, I'd say the parents could have used this to teach little Timmy and little Suzy a lesson: if you use profanities you'll fall out of your canoe and possibly drown.

A win/win situation for all involved, but instead the government got involved and everyone lost.
posted by Keen at 3:45 PM on April 1, 2002

I remember when I was a kid and "Officer Red" (did every Police Department assign a red-headed officer to liaison with school kids?) came to our class to warn us about the dangers of riding your bike in the street and staying out past curfew, he also mentioned that cursing in public in front of minors was a misdemeanor offense. Most of us fourth-graders were marvelling that our dads had never been locked up yet....
posted by Oriole Adams at 4:21 PM on April 1, 2002

It may be hard for some of you to believe, but there are still places where a Cussing Canoeist would be a serious disturbance for our Hallmark moments.
posted by sheauga at 4:39 PM on April 1, 2002

What a bunch of mouthbreathing leg humpers.
posted by NortonDC at 5:49 PM on April 1, 2002

This story was all the rage here in Michigan...back in 1988.
posted by rodii at 6:07 PM on April 1, 2002

Reuters said Boomer was a "Detroit-area computer programmer" -- huh, that's a surprise. At 75 F's per tirade, he sure sounds like a Navy senior chief petty officer I met once.
posted by alumshubby at 6:32 PM on April 1, 2002

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
GOD BLESS THIS WONDERFUL COUNTRY!!
posted by Settle at 6:32 PM on April 1, 2002

rodii - says 1998 in the article, or is it a mistake? Please clarify :)
posted by Why at 7:04 PM on April 1, 2002

rodii did the same thing at a bar mitzfah in 1988.
posted by Settle at 7:07 PM on April 1, 2002

98, 88, old all looks the same here in michigan.
posted by quonsar at 8:10 PM on April 1, 2002

My typo, sorry. At least I didn't type 1898... all the same, 'tis old news.
posted by rodii at 8:12 PM on April 1, 2002

rodii, in 1898, this guy would've probably been taken to an exorcism...
posted by jonmc at 8:24 PM on April 1, 2002