For the love of #god, Montresor
October 10, 2016 2:18 PM   Subscribe

The hot new meme on tumblr is "The Cask of Amontillado". (via catesish on twitter)

Read the original short by Edgar Allan Poe here.
posted by moonmilk (129 comments total) 44 users marked this as a favorite
 
Why “The Cask of Amontillado” is such a perfect meme

I've always been impressed with how people on the internet (and tumblr) break down things so well.
posted by yueliang at 3:00 PM on October 10, 2016 [13 favorites]


I don't fully get it, but I approve! Also a good reminder that October is a fine month to crack open some Poe stories.
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:07 PM on October 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


This has only barely trickled onto my dash, but I've found it delightful. Here is my favorite.
posted by yasaman at 3:08 PM on October 10, 2016 [21 favorites]


"Want to see more posts tagged #cask of amontillado? Sign up for Tumblr"

I mean, it does seem an appropriate meme for a walled garden...
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:11 PM on October 10, 2016 [15 favorites]


Me: a lightweight four season tent, you say?
REI associate: it's definitely there, in the back.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 3:16 PM on October 10, 2016 [18 favorites]


Metafilter's own moonmilk.
posted by kenko at 3:17 PM on October 10, 2016 [10 favorites]


For the love of god Montressor
posted by The Whelk at 3:20 PM on October 10, 2016 [5 favorites]


Lolcats are old news but subbes posting the phrase yesterday on Twitter reminded me of this one I made awhile back for Metachat. Everything is relevant eventually.
posted by notquitemaryann at 3:26 PM on October 10, 2016 [5 favorites]


I guess we know what reading all the schools are assigning this month.
posted by kewb at 3:26 PM on October 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


Wow, we're ahead of knowyourmeme.com. Congratulations everyone. Have a glass of wine to celebrate.
posted by GuyZero at 3:28 PM on October 10, 2016 [12 favorites]


Wow, we're ahead of knowyourmeme.com. Congratulations everyone. Have a glass of wine to celebrate.

Not too many, though. That ends badly, I hear.
posted by percor at 3:35 PM on October 10, 2016 [5 favorites]


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posted by percor at 3:36 PM on October 10, 2016 [159 favorites]


Better than Ken Bone.
posted by naju at 3:37 PM on October 10, 2016 [4 favorites]


I just knew that the Alan Parsons Project would become relevant again. Now to raise Arthur Brown to his proper place.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 3:45 PM on October 10, 2016 [8 favorites]


For the love of god Montressor

I... have been known to cry this in moments of frustration. Is that so wrong?
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:52 PM on October 10, 2016 [23 favorites]


"he did not perceive that my to smile now was at the thought of his immolation"

The best part of the story is that it's so very relatable.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:58 PM on October 10, 2016 [25 favorites]


from killer clowns to killing clowns, this is some October
posted by yueliang at 4:03 PM on October 10, 2016 [3 favorites]


I love this, because it is beautiful and clever and ephemeral, as are all the best parts of Tumblr, and because it embraces the inherent hilarity of Poe's gothic horror. Great funny/scary way to entertain yourself: try not corpsing as you take The Cask of Amontillado / The Tell-Tale Heart / The Black Cat and read them aloud in earnest and cheerful manner while the story slowly ratchets up the crazy.

💖🌟🌸"Yes,"✨I💓said,🌺"for🌼the🌷love💓of✨God!"🌸🌟💖
posted by nicebookrack at 4:06 PM on October 10, 2016 [22 favorites]




I... have been known to cry this in moments of frustration. Is that so wrong?

Me too! "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONTRESOR" is very satisfying even without using any profanity! It's comforting to know that our obscure lit culture references are no so very obscure after all.

Let's try using "nervous--very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am" on people.
posted by nicebookrack at 4:12 PM on October 10, 2016 [10 favorites]


Can we get this re-made with Shia LaBeouf?

🎶🎶🎶 Promising you wine
Shia LaBeouf
🎶🎶🎶 Shackling you to a wall
Shia LaBeouf
...

Actual Mason
Shia LaBeouf
posted by GuyZero at 4:16 PM on October 10, 2016 [36 favorites]


There was a radio play version of this story we had to listen to in high school where Fortuno delivers a ridiculously over the top reading of "Amontillado!?!" And sometimes I have referenced it and discovered other people had to listen to that same thing.
posted by GameDesignerBen at 4:17 PM on October 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


GuyZero has won this thread as far as I am concerned.
posted by Kitteh at 4:18 PM on October 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


Wait, there's some even better comments way at the back of the thread. Come see!
posted by moonmilk at 4:21 PM on October 10, 2016 [27 favorites]


Is this something I would need a catacomb to understand?
posted by audi alteram partem at 4:29 PM on October 10, 2016 [12 favorites]


"I’m being ironic. Don't interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it’s not polite."
posted by Apocryphon at 4:29 PM on October 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


Me too!

I don't suppose you also shout "In the name of God, Sir, whose hand!?!*" from time to time? If so, it's possible that we are the same person, as unlikely that would be, just from geographical evidence.

* From the appallingly bad gothic-ish mystery The Bat (not to be confused with Der Fledermaus).
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:32 PM on October 10, 2016 [5 favorites]


Oh hey! This is another cool Halloween post that's tangentially related to a play I was in in college! The head of the theater department wrote an anthology play of Poe's stories (that I think got him tenure?) framed together by narration from Poe's critical essays, and I was Fortunato in the Cask of Amontillado segment!

For character-building purposes the actor playing Montressor and I came up with a backstory for why Fortunato's getting murdered that he had gotten way drunk and bragged about Masonic secrets (based on the joke where Fortunato goes "Then you are not of the Masons?" and Montressor pulls out his murder trowel and goes "Yeah I am!"), and that's what got Montressor mad enough to kill.

The walling-up was a piece of performance art where dancers wearing black bodysuits and skull masks held me back with skeleton hands and draped long black scarves across me as he mimed bricking me in, I screamed "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MONTRESSOR!" from behind that, it was really creepy.
posted by branduno at 4:44 PM on October 10, 2016 [20 favorites]


The walling-up was a piece of performance art where dancers wearing black bodysuits and skull masks held me back with skeleton hands and draped long black scarves across me as he mimed bricking me in, I screamed "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MONTRESSOR!" from behind that, it was really creepy.

I.. am in love.

A platonic, not-getting-bricked-up sort of love, but still...

Now, please bring back the light.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:48 PM on October 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


There was also a segment based on Poe's "Lionizing" which was played as a wackadoo slapstick farce. In that one I was the one who got the last laugh, because I played the parent delivering the final lesson - "I grant you that in Fum-Fudge the greatness of a lion is in proportion to the size of his proboscis- but, good heavens! there is no competing with a lion who has no proboscis at all"
posted by branduno at 4:53 PM on October 10, 2016


it goes so well with the me, an intellectual one
posted by poffin boffin at 4:55 PM on October 10, 2016 [5 favorites]


So, according to the story Fortunato is bound across the waist by a single length of chain attached to the wall at both ends and locked at one This would seem to be easily escapable, as our legs and hips are as narrow or narrower than our waist. Mortar does not dry in less than 24 hours under the best of circumstances. The torch is consuming oxygen and it's a small space, so he'd need to move quickly, but his sobriety would encourage that. The torch will also be needed to navigate out the catacombs.

Doable, I think.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:30 PM on October 10, 2016 [3 favorites]


Well, Motresor did poke around in there with his rapier, so Fortunato may be losing blood as well. Yes, it's a bit of a challenge!
posted by moonmilk at 5:33 PM on October 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


I love this story. I read it aloud to a cabin of 14 year old boys when I was a camp counselor. You could hear a pin drop the entire time. At the end, a voice from the dark said: "that was cool. ....what was that about?"
posted by Miko at 5:57 PM on October 10, 2016 [5 favorites]


Ooh, a good camp counselor joke would be to tell the whole thing from Fortunato's point of view, as if it were a true story - "my friend Monty - I thought he was my friend - he told me he had some awesome comic books down in the basement". And end it with the final brick going on.

"What happened then?" cry all the kids.

"I died."
posted by moonmilk at 6:02 PM on October 10, 2016 [21 favorites]


So I realized I'm not so much the "for the love of God, Montresor" type as the "Yes... For the love of God" type

Maybe I should put this on my okcupid profile

Or maybe not.
posted by notquitemaryann at 6:10 PM on October 10, 2016 [16 favorites]


There is a great scene in an "I Spy" episode where Kelly and Scotty are bricking Peter Lawford into a wall in order to get him to tell them something, and they are reading this story aloud as they go along.

That is all.
posted by allthinky at 6:21 PM on October 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


TUMBLR'S HOTTEST NEW MEME IS
posted by clockzero at 6:41 PM on October 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


Ages ago, I participated in a staged reading of some Poe stories and poems around this time of year, and "The Cask of Amontillado" was of course among them. I wasn't in that particular story, but I was friends with the guy who played Montresor. He was (and is) a good actor, but I disagreed with him about one particular line delivery: Montresor's "Yes, for the love of God" reply to the titular outburst from Fortunato.

He always delivered it as a furious, cutting-Fortunato-off "YES, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!", while I always argued for a quieter, more triumphant "Yes...for the love of God." Maybe one of these days I'll get to deliver it to an audience that way.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 6:41 PM on October 10, 2016 [12 favorites]


IT'S GOT EVERYTHING: OBSCURITY, DEPRESSING ROMANTIC POETRY, HUMAN METRONOMES
posted by clockzero at 6:42 PM on October 10, 2016 [26 favorites]


Oh wow, this brings back memories of 4th grade English... our teacher walking us through nemo me impugne lacessit (butchered here, I'm sure) and it was like the most badass thing we had ever learned. It was like learning about the "righteous fury" scene from pulp fiction or something. It was aaaaaawesome.
posted by odinsdream at 6:55 PM on October 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


(No one harms me with impunity)
posted by odinsdream at 6:57 PM on October 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


A couple of years ago some friends bought an apartment in an older building that included use of a small, walled-off storage area in the basement that they decided to use as, among other things, a wine cellar. Soon after one of them, while leaving, managed to latch both of the locks on the door before realizing that they only had the key to one of them. So they asked me if I could pick the lock to get them back into their storage, and offered me a bottle of wine as a reward. "Can it be a bottle of Amontillado?" Of course it could.

It turned out the basement was indeed dark, and stone-walled, and damp. It took me longer than expected, and I'm still disappointed that my friends did not produce a trowel at any point during this process. Long story short, I got the door open, and they got me my Amontillado, and no one got chained to anything. It was pretty yummy, but not worth getting bricked away for. I'm pretty sure one of the thousand injuries of Fortunado was shitty taste in wine.
posted by phooky at 7:00 PM on October 10, 2016 [14 favorites]


He always delivered it as a furious, cutting-Fortunato-off "YES, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!", while I always argued for a quieter, more triumphant "Yes...for the love of God.".

Oh my god I've never agreed with anyone about anything as much as I agree with you about this line reading dispute. It's so obviously supposed to be a calm, cool, quiet statement, like a simple agreement with a regular question. Fortunato is bellowing FOR THE LOVE OF GOD because he's being murdered right now, and Montressor quietly shuts him up. That's like the whole point of why he's murdering him with this trick instead of, like, clubbing him with a hammer or stabbing him or something. Montressor's a crazy murderer but it's a calm and collected crazy.

The more I think about it the more I think the entire point of the story is to say that line quietly, you are 100% right.
posted by branduno at 7:03 PM on October 10, 2016 [22 favorites]


(In the production I was in the actor playing Montressor gave it a quiet, almost sad reading, like he's sorry this had to happen, but there's just no getting around it)
posted by branduno at 7:05 PM on October 10, 2016 [4 favorites]


Tumblr's still a thing? Huh.
posted by sutt at 8:02 PM on October 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


no, don't mind me...
posted by anotherbrick at 8:36 PM on October 10, 2016 [31 favorites]


I imagine "Yes, for the love of God" not as an outburst, but as full of tension. I mean, Montresor is all about self-control. His whole plan depended on deceiving Fortunato, pretending to be chummy with him while seething with fury underneath. I don't see Montresor abandoning that kind of control right at the moment when he's gained control over Fortunato, but he's definitely done with pretending to be friendly.

In a perfect world, the line would be delivered by Alan Rickman.
posted by baf at 8:44 PM on October 10, 2016 [15 favorites]


I read this story just a month or two ago and was totally underwhelmed. I'm glad to find now that the effort wasn't wasted!
posted by nnethercote at 9:00 PM on October 10, 2016


I was merely amused until I hit 'bricks out for fortunato' and at that point everything blurred for a second and when I woke up the reblog icon was glowing
posted by komara at 9:07 PM on October 10, 2016 [22 favorites]


So, I am pretty sure that I have never read this story before, but it has certainly put me in the mood for a Hannibal rematch.
posted by sparklemotion at 9:47 PM on October 10, 2016


I always found "Yes...for the love of God!" to be such a corny line that I assumed Montressor was just lulzing it up with that.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 12:26 AM on October 11, 2016


I think the ideal delivery is like when Hannibal replies, "He's in the pantry."
posted by Elementary Penguin at 1:22 AM on October 11, 2016 [5 favorites]


Thank you clockzero I was dying for some Stefan-esque interpretations. More!!
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 4:22 AM on October 11, 2016


For the love of God Metafilter
posted by hangashore at 4:50 AM on October 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


Now I'm imagining a "for the love of god"-off between Emily Blunt and Stephen Colbert. (c.f.)
posted by odinsdream at 5:07 AM on October 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


I had a complete Edgar Allan Poe collection growing up. I love that gloomy bastard.

"Cask" is one of my favorites, precisely because of Montressor's utterly chilling calm that highlights more than anything else how completely around the bend he is. My personal reading has always been that Fortunato never really did anything - no Masonic secrets or whatever. He was just kind of a loudmouth, kind of insensitive, and highly extroverted, and Montressor has been filtering that through his own personal whack-a-doodle-vision and decided that they are blood enemies now.

And yes, I have and will shout "For the love of God, Montressor!" at opportune moments.
posted by Scattercat at 5:17 AM on October 11, 2016 [6 favorites]


I used to be a very, very, very active user of tumblr, but then between jobs and moving and just...it's so. much, you know? So I quite cold turkey, and it's been nice to have my time back. I haven't been on in about 6 weeks. This is the only thing that's made me consider going back. For the love of God, Metafilter!
posted by FirstMateKate at 5:21 AM on October 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


The more I think about it the more I think the entire point of the story is to say that line quietly, you are 100% right.

I got points taken off of an essay I wrote that came to this same conclusion in 10th grade English class, and I am still angry about it fifteen years later. Delivered properly, I am convinced this is the most powerful line Poe ever conceived. I sometimes use it completely out of context, as a stand-in for "you have unwittingly been made the agent of your own undoing."

You could, however, talk me into a delivery by Dr. Hibbert, complete with little chuckle after "yes."
posted by Mayor West at 5:26 AM on October 11, 2016 [4 favorites]


(Somewhere on an old hard drive are three thousand words about Montresor's fervent belief that he was actually acting as a agent for the Almighty himself, meting out justice for the many insults visited upon him by the arrogant fool Fortunato. Thus, "Yes. For the love of god." is a declaration that Fortunato's god has abandoned him at the last, and that he (Montresor) is indeed bricking him up out of love for his own god, the Angel of Death. Tenth grade was an interesting year for me.)
posted by Mayor West at 5:31 AM on October 11, 2016 [5 favorites]


Poe is delightfully fun on a variety of fronts. I likeThe Fall of the House of Usher better, but that's just me. Glad the tumblrites are having a good time with the Cask.
posted by which_chick at 5:35 AM on October 11, 2016


quite cold turkey: what a lot of Canada will be eating today
posted by Flashman at 6:11 AM on October 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


I love everyone in the very back of this thread.
posted by merriment at 6:23 AM on October 11, 2016


Flashman: "quite cold turkey: what a lot of Canada will be eating today"

I hope they redress it.
posted by chavenet at 6:24 AM on October 11, 2016 [2 favorites]



So, according to the story Fortunato is bound across the waist by a single length of chain attached to the wall at both ends and locked at one This would seem to be easily escapable, as our legs and hips are as narrow or narrower than our waist. Mortar does not dry in less than 24 hours under the best of circumstances. The torch is consuming oxygen and it's a small space, so he'd need to move quickly, but his sobriety would encourage that. The torch will also be needed to navigate out the catacombs.

Doable, I think.


But if the ends are attached to the wall even if you could move the chain slightly below your waist you'd need to have enough give to pull it down over a foot to step out of it or, alternatively, climb up the wall high enough while the chain was still around you that you could pull out your feet. I don't think either of those are going to work here.

Also, I am VERY ANGRY at whomever thinks Montresor should yell EVER. WTF NO, DID YOU EVEN READ THE STORY?
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 6:58 AM on October 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


"He always delivered it as a furious, cutting-Fortunato-off "YES, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!""

I was thinking about this all night and I've been thinking about this all morning and I just can't get over how wrong that is. Someone should have staged an intervention.
posted by komara at 7:12 AM on October 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


Interestingly, this story is from 1846, right before the long illness and then death (1847) of Poe's wife and the period in which his use of alcohol was apparently at its peak, and his drinking appears to have tailed off thereafter. You could even make the argument that the bibulous fortunate jester he's bricking up down there is his inebriated self, never to be seen again.

A kind of twelve-brick-layer program, if you will.
posted by chavenet at 7:13 AM on October 11, 2016 [11 favorites]


I love this. If all the high school English teachers in the world could secretly conspire to teach the same poem a month, it would probably do more for poetry than anything else to date. Make it a ridiculous innuendo heavy poem and I'm sure there would be tumblrs.
posted by TheLateGreatAbrahamLincoln at 7:24 AM on October 11, 2016 [4 favorites]


"The thousand comments of chavenet I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon puns I vowed revenge."
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:44 AM on October 11, 2016 [6 favorites]


Also, I am VERY ANGRY at whomever thinks Montresor should yell EVER. WTF NO, DID YOU EVEN READ THE STORY?

"I replied to the yells of him who clamoured. I re-echoed, I aided, I surpassed them in volume and in strength. I did this, and the clamourer grew still."

Is this not Montressor yelling back at Fortunato, yelling and yelling until Fortunato gets the hint that yelling isn't going to do him any good?
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 8:32 AM on October 11, 2016 [7 favorites]


Me: a lightweight four season tent, you say?
REI associate: it's definitely there, in the back.


Limited time offer! As another great poet wrote, Now is the window of our discount tents.
posted by zamboni at 8:56 AM on October 11, 2016 [5 favorites]


Is this not Montressor yelling back at Fortunato, yelling and yelling until Fortunato gets the hint that yelling isn't going to do him any good?

Yeah that's fair, I guess I need to reconsider, but it feels different to me where one is mirroring Fortunado and one is Montressor speaking as himself.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:11 AM on October 11, 2016


Yeah, when he yells, he doesn't do it in anger or fear - he's just mocking Fortunato. He spends the whole story ironically agreeing with everything Fortunato says, and he keeps it going to the end.
posted by moonmilk at 9:45 AM on October 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


""I replied to the yells of him who clamoured. I re-echoed, I aided, I surpassed them in volume and in strength. I did this, and the clamourer grew still."

Is this not Montressor yelling back at Fortunato, yelling and yelling until Fortunato gets the hint that yelling isn't going to do him any good?"


I see that in exactly the same light as Jame Gumb standing at the edge of the pit, exaggeratedly hollering back at Catherine Martin.

... and then he goes back to his calm dead-eyed self. That's the self that would speak quietly the line, "Yes ... for the love of God."
posted by komara at 9:46 AM on October 11, 2016 [4 favorites]


As someone whose last name is Fortunato, and who lived through all the jokes in high-school, I wholly welcome this!
posted by Greasy Eyed Gristle Man at 10:32 AM on October 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


"I replied to the yells of him who clamoured. I re-echoed, I aided, I surpassed them in volume and in strength. I did this, and the clamourer grew still."
I didn't register this one sentence until re-reading the story a year or two ago, and I think it really adds a chilling glimpse of the madness behind Montresor's impassive facade throughout the story. It reminds me so much of Jame Gumb screaming back at the girl trapped in the well in his basement in Silence of the Lambs. (Vice versa, actually. But yeah, the "Yes, for the love of god." line is definitely spoken quietly.)
posted by usonian at 10:51 AM on October 11, 2016


...and Komara beat me to it. That's what I get for not refreshing the comments before getting around to posting.
posted by usonian at 10:52 AM on October 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oh wow, this brings back memories of 4th grade English

This brings back flashbacks to 6th or 7th grade - whenever it was we read this in our literature class - and how our teacher insisted it was pronounced "amonti-dill-ado"* and flew into a rage if anyone ever attempted to correct him.

Remember, kids, whenever someone brings up the canard that private schools in the U.S. are inherently superior to public schools, those three little words: No. Credential. Required.

*Another of his classics: somehow pronouncing ennui with three syllables, the middle one being "noo."
posted by psoas at 11:00 AM on October 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


Ooooh, this story. I've always loved it, but since high school, it has held a special place in my heart.

Sophomore Honors English. My teacher was Karen Charpie-Elton. She was AMAZING! Totally intent on making us THINK and WRITE and COMMUNICATE! OK, so I still have a mad teacher-crush on her, all these years later, and she's still my friend. Anyway...

We had to pick a part of speech, a word, or a technique, and analyze its use in The Cask of Amontillado. I chose to analyze Poe's use of onomatopoeia. I wrote three pages, and worried my head off over it, because I was pretty sure I was somehow ruining it.

A few days later, we roll into class, and Karen talks about how some of the papers were a hot mess and below what she expected, but one captured the assignment perfectly. She commenced to read it out loud, without naming the author. It was mine!! I just about fainted, could barely keep a poker face so no one would know it was mine.

Every time I read the story, I can't help but to flash back to that one perfect moment, where my favorite teacher called my writing "perfect". #coolstorybro
posted by MissySedai at 11:19 AM on October 11, 2016 [16 favorites]


How would a Spanish person pronounce it? My brother says uh-mont-teel-yado.

And I've always thought this story was strange in that I thought sherry was pretty much made for export to Britain. Was it popular anywhere else?
posted by Bee'sWing at 11:43 AM on October 11, 2016


Does anyone read the comments back here?
posted by chonus at 12:24 PM on October 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


Dream casting:
Benedict Cumberbatch as Montresor
Jim Broadbent as Fortunato
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:55 PM on October 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


Does anyone read the comments back here?
posted by chonus at 12:24 PM on October 11 [1 favorite +] [!]


Yes, but there are even better ones just a little bit further on down, if you'd be so kind as to accompany me....
posted by chavenet at 1:23 PM on October 11, 2016 [5 favorites]


Dream casting:
Benedict Cumberbatch as Montresor
Jim Broadbent as Fortunato
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:55 PM on October 11


Oooo, I vote:
Colin Firth as Montresor
Gary Oldman as Fortunato

I'd been seeing this meme going around tumblr, and it reminded me that I want to buy a bottle of amontillado for the upcoming Halloween parties!
posted by magstheaxe at 2:05 PM on October 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure if we cast Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt that the adaptation will get the highest ratings of all time.

The real question is who will play which character?

Alternatively, cast Donald Trump and Ted Cruz except the twist ending is that Trump bricks up the wall from inside the grotto.
posted by GuyZero at 2:09 PM on October 11, 2016


Dream casting:
Paul Dano as Montresor
Mark Ruffalo as Fortunato
posted by odinsdream at 2:15 PM on October 11, 2016


Dream casting:
Daniel Day Lewis as Montresor
Raul Julia (RIP) as Fortunato
posted by usonian at 2:17 PM on October 11, 2016


Dream casting:
Nic Cage as Montresor
Nic Cage as Fortunato
I mean, if you want to get deep into the whole yelling "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD" thing.

Side note: I just walked through the room where our tasting panel is convening to go over new products and saw a line of sherries. I picked up the Amontillado and whispered quietly, "Yes, for the love of God."
posted by komara at 2:18 PM on October 11, 2016 [10 favorites]


Alternatively, cast Donald Trump and Ted Cruz except the twist ending is that Trump bricks up the wall from inside the grotto.

And makes Cruz pay for it.
posted by chavenet at 2:22 PM on October 11, 2016


The entire story is just an ad for amontillado. Because of it, amontillado was the first drink I ever bought legally when I turned 21.

(it's delicious).
posted by melissam at 2:24 PM on October 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dream casting:

Garfield as Montresor
Odie as Fortunato

"Yes, for the love of lasagna"
posted by moonmilk at 2:24 PM on October 11, 2016 [5 favorites]


The screaming back at Fortunato and also, I think, the kind of "ShutupshutupSHUTUP" moment of stabbing randomly into the dark with the sword, both are moments where the facade cracks a bit and the reader gets to see what a bubbling cauldron of spite Montressor is.
posted by Scattercat at 3:02 PM on October 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


you: amused at any silly old meme

me, an intellectual: only smiles at memes involving the cask of amontillado or the trolley problem

#these phenomenon are related i just KNOW it
That sounds like a challenge.
posted by moonmilk at 3:39 PM on October 11, 2016


“A huge human foot in a field d'or; the foot crushes a serpent.”

“And the motto?”

I specifically requested the opposite of this.”
posted by zamboni at 3:52 PM on October 11, 2016 [7 favorites]


"My friend, no. It is not the engagement, but the severe cold with which I perceive you are afflicted. The vaults are insufferably damp. They are encrusted with nitre."

I just realized this meme is literally dank
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:58 PM on October 11, 2016 [18 favorites]


Apologies for the quality, but how about John Heard as Montresor and Rene Auberjonois as Fortunato?

While I was thinking about casting, I had an image of Michael Gambon as Montresor. I usually think of Montresor as being middle-aged at the latest, but I think he also works as an old man, twisted by a lifetime spent stewing in hatred.
posted by MrBadExample at 4:44 PM on October 11, 2016


Montresor is telling the story half of a century later, so he's probably not an old man at the time of the murder, barring an undead revenant scenario.
posted by zamboni at 5:10 PM on October 11, 2016


Montresor was a vampire the whole time!!!!!11!
posted by moonmilk at 5:13 PM on October 11, 2016


That's right, I had forgotten the whole "half a century" thing. I haven't read the story in a while, but now I have an excuse to remedy that.
posted by MrBadExample at 5:17 PM on October 11, 2016


The version linked in the original post has some errors- try this one.
posted by zamboni at 5:23 PM on October 11, 2016


Soooooo now who wants to do some dramatic recordings?
posted by notquitemaryann at 5:44 PM on October 11, 2016 [4 favorites]


Drama rather than music challenge, maybe?
posted by notquitemaryann at 5:45 PM on October 11, 2016


have you guys ever had Amontillado just FYI its not great

like just sherry on its own is a not great

why did the Crane brothers lie to me
posted by The Whelk at 11:52 PM on October 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


I've never read the story until now, but I am finding it oddly redolent of Roy Orbison In Clingfilm.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:54 PM on October 11, 2016


have you guys ever had Amontillado just FYI its not great

Yeah, but I had the good stuff. At a Queens College graduation reception. It was excellent and I could practically taste the screams.
posted by thelonius at 2:13 AM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


moments where the facade cracks a bit

also this:

My heart grew sick; it was the dampness of the catacombs that made it so

seems ambiguous
posted by thelonius at 2:15 AM on October 12, 2016


My biggest gripe with the story is how little attention is paid to the actual construction of the brick wall. I've just finished building some brick steps and it easily took me 4 weekends. Bricking over even a small nook in a wine cellar would easily take 100-200 bricks and over 100 kilo's of mortar. Mortar which takes time to mix and can only be used for a while before it sets. Even if Montressor was an accomplished bricklayer it still would have taken him the better part of a day and probably at least two days to finish the wall, especially if it needed to not look slaps-dash to ensure the it wasn't an obvious wall hiding a body.
posted by koolkat at 3:28 AM on October 12, 2016 [18 favorites]


Metafilter: come for the literary analysis, stay for the masonry critiques.
posted by odinsdream at 4:42 AM on October 12, 2016 [16 favorites]


Soooooo now who wants to do some dramatic recordings?

I am all over this like glitter two weeks after you think you've cleaned it all up.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 9:28 AM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


why did the Crane brothers lie to me

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh! More dream casting:

David Hyde Pierce as Montresor
Kelsey Grammer as Fortunato
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:49 AM on October 12, 2016 [3 favorites]


"Side note: I just walked through the room where our tasting panel is convening to go over new products and saw a line of sherries. I picked up the Amontillado and whispered quietly, "Yes, for the love of God.""

Follow-up: this morning I had the opportunity to take possession of some opened samples so I of course grabbed the Amontillado. All day I've been catching faint whiffs of it from its resting spot near my desk.

It's really distracting to have to think, "Yes, for the love of God" several times an hour.
posted by komara at 11:28 AM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dream casting:
Hillary Clinton as Montresor
Donald Trump as Fortunato
posted by komara at 11:30 AM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


like just sherry on its own is a not great
::Adjusts monocle::

I beg to differ, Sir. It's just that "The Cask of Pedro Ximénez" doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well.
posted by usonian at 1:02 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


I just trolled the hell out of my daughter by telling her to look up this new tumblr meme I heard about (usually she is the one raising my awareness of new trends in memecraft), and as she kept sending me pictures of walled-up Thomas the Tank Engine or whatever saying "is this it? I don't get it" I got to keep replying "no, keep looking, you'll find it, just a little further" and anyway long story short it was very gratifying and this is my new favorite meme
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:40 PM on October 12, 2016 [10 favorites]


Dream casting:
Itchy as Montresor
Scratchy as Fortunato

Nightmare casting:
Google as Montresor
Google Reader as Fortunato
posted by moonmilk at 5:01 PM on October 12, 2016 [3 favorites]


Soooooo now who wants to do some dramatic recordings?

I am all over this like glitter two weeks after you think you've cleaned it all up.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:28 PM on October 12


Why not do both? I give you glitter grout

posted by Mchelly at 5:32 PM on October 12, 2016


> My biggest gripe with the story is how little attention is paid to the actual construction of the brick wall.

Surely mefi of all places is somewhere where we can redress this by really paying this wall some attention.

The story begins "about dusk", and "it was now midnight" by the time he was nearly finished, so Montressor builds it in under five hours. Give him four hours to allow time to lead Fortunato down there and it's not long, but he does say he's doing it "vigorously".

The nook is "in width three, in height six or seven", which tallies with his progress — he says the seventh course is "nearly upon a level with my breast", so his building stones must be something like seven inches tall, making for a 6'5" high wall with "the last and the eleventh" course. If the stones are about twice as wide as they are tall, he'll need three for each course, or 33 stones with one stone laid every seven minutes (allowing nine minutes for him to sit and listen to Fortunato struggle). They're big stones, but being a young man telling this story "half of a century" later it might be possible.

The mortar question is more cryptic. They are "below the river’s bed" and "drops of moisture trickle among the bones", so he'd need something that can set in wet conditions, but I can't see any clues beyond that. Wikipedia did lead me to pozzolanic mortar though, which besides sounding cool can set underwater and seems apt given the location and time period. Perhaps he laid a mostly dry wall, mixing small amounts of mortar as he went just to help settle the stones in place. Fortunato is chained after all.
posted by lucidium at 8:47 AM on October 13, 2016 [12 favorites]


Tim Roth as Montresor
Gary Oldman as Fortunato

Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Even Deader

"Imperious Caesar, dead and turned to clay,
Might stop a hole to keep the wind away.
O, that that earth which kept the world in awe
Should patch a wall t' expel the winter's flaw!"
posted by Pallas Athena at 4:16 AM on October 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


oh god, I killed the thread *applies last brick*
posted by Pallas Athena at 8:10 AM on October 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


*applies last brick*

The rest is silence.
posted by Celsius1414 at 8:21 AM on October 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


In pace requiescat!
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:35 AM on October 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


Bob the Builder as Montresor
Farmer Pickles as Fortunato
posted by Flashman at 10:19 AM on October 14, 2016


It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the campaign season, that I encountered Mr. Trump...
posted by moonmilk at 2:41 PM on October 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


I would like to report that I was just able to look at a student and say "For the love of god Montressor!" and it made sense to both of us. Team EAP for the win!
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:32 AM on October 18, 2016 [1 favorite]


Know Your Meme catches up.
posted by GuyZero at 11:06 AM on October 19, 2016


The interesting thing on that Know Your Meme page is the Google Trends graph. There's a clear annual cycle with a peak in October; no great surprise there. But there also seems to be a regular secondary peak in February, which I can't figure out. Any idea what might be the cause of that?

Also, at first glance it looks like this year's peak isn't significantly higher than previous years, and lower than some; but recall that we're not all the way through October yet, and if you look at a narrower time frame you can see weekly rather than monthly results on the graph, where this particular week in October 2016 does seem noticeably, if not hugely, greater than the corresponding week in previous years. Will that keep up through the end of October, or is the meme dead and amontillado references already falling to their usual annual level?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:42 PM on October 19, 2016


It peaks twice a year for fall and winter term school assignments.
posted by GuyZero at 12:49 PM on October 19, 2016


Know Your Meme catches up.

I may or may not be responsible for a couple of the images on that page. (I joined Know Your Meme back when it was still relatively innocuous and hadn't yet become the alt-right GamerGate cesspool it eventually turned into. I still stick around for the occasional laugh it provides.)
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:22 PM on October 20, 2016


The BBC is overthinking a plate of beans cask of amontillado, which probably means this meme is dead now.
posted by moonmilk at 8:11 AM on October 24, 2016


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