Counting your Kegels? There's an app for that!
February 16, 2017 4:04 PM   Subscribe

The game has a downloadable app and a pink device with sensors that is inserted into the vagina to play. Users play games on the app, which are powered by movements of the pelvic floor muscles made around the controller inside the woman. In at least one level, for instance, contracting pelvic floor muscles will cause a butterfly on the game screen to fly upward.
posted by waving (50 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
OK, for this one, I'm gonna need to contact my supplier to dropship another pallet of NO
posted by Countess Elena at 4:07 PM on February 16 [45 favorites]


When you beat the final boss you level up to dentata.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:09 PM on February 16 [63 favorites]


I'm so competitive I would likely get too bulky.
posted by waving at 4:11 PM on February 16 [11 favorites]


It's all fun and games until your crash a level and get a UTI.
posted by mosk at 4:28 PM on February 16 [5 favorites]


As a man who's suffered strange abdominal issues that seemed to have been improved by pelvic floor exercises (essentially Kegels), I think I have an idea where I might insert this, and I surely can imagine the gamification being helpful to keeping up my regimen, but I respectfully decline.
posted by a puppet made of socks at 4:37 PM on February 16 [5 favorites]


Not too surprising this is from a French company. The French health system already provides pelvic floor rehabilitation and strengthening therapy postpartum using a similar in concept wired device.
posted by Mitheral at 5:09 PM on February 16 [9 favorites]


You and I remember Quake very differently.
posted by nfalkner at 5:14 PM on February 16 [8 favorites]


Is there any link for this that isn't the Daily Mail?
posted by TheNewWazoo at 5:19 PM on February 16 [7 favorites]


Perifit would like to access your camera and location services.

Allow / Dismiss
posted by bondcliff at 5:21 PM on February 16 [17 favorites]


Nintendo Wii Wee.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:25 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]


fleX-Box
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:28 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]


FINISH HIM!
posted by condour75 at 5:33 PM on February 16 [27 favorites]


Perifit has a indiegogo page; however the campaign is still running.
posted by Mitheral at 5:54 PM on February 16


truth: it's flappy bird, with a new controller..
posted by k5.user at 6:05 PM on February 16 [5 favorites]


Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A...

Wait, is this a game where I want to have 30 extra lives or not?
posted by Fizz at 6:20 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]


As a man who's suffered strange abdominal issues that seemed to have been improved by pelvic floor exercises (essentially Kegels)...

Not wanting to man up the thread, but this is where "damp bath towel hoists" can prove invaluable.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:25 PM on February 16


Wait, is this a game where I want to have 30 extra lives or not?

it's contra-indicated
posted by zamboni at 6:31 PM on February 16 [11 favorites]


will cause a butterfly on the game screen to fly upward.

oh fuck that. A. because butterflies? fuck that, fuck your butterflies. what happens on the other levels, does a fucking flower blossom? but B. a real woman would just put a regular video game controller up there and play a shooting game. skillfully.

violence in games is sometimes acceptable but if you are going to gamify the pelvic floor it is mandatory
posted by queenofbithynia at 6:32 PM on February 16 [43 favorites]


Damp bath towel hoists - is there anything they can't do?
posted by Flashman at 6:35 PM on February 16 [2 favorites]


this is where "damp bath towel hoists" can prove invaluable.

Googling this was fruitless, to my disappointment
posted by a puppet made of socks at 6:47 PM on February 16 [7 favorites]


a pink device

So you know it's for women.
posted by adept256 at 7:01 PM on February 16 [14 favorites]


a pink device

So you know it's for women.


Would you prefer a brown one?
posted by kafziel at 7:02 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]


since a classmate in high school explained the bath towel hoist game

you hang the towel on your erection, then hoist/lower it by flexing

that's it, please continue the thread
posted by mikeh at 7:03 PM on February 16 [9 favorites]


fuck your butterflies. what happens on the other levels, does a fucking flower blossom

No, you control the size of the salad and the amount of the laughter.
posted by condour75 at 7:31 PM on February 16 [68 favorites]


fuck your butterflies. what happens on the other levels, does a fucking flower blossom

A trash compactor level: die, rebel scum!
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:36 PM on February 16 [10 favorites]


Is there any link for this that isn't the Daily Mail?

Perifit Indigogo page
Kotaku AU
Digital Trends
Refinery 29
posted by Rhomboid at 7:59 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]


What, none of you have heard of vaginal weightlifting? Really? Who needs all the tech when you can be pumping, erm, crushing iron?
posted by Samizdata at 8:06 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]


No, you control the size of the salad and the amount of the laughter.
But when do you get to toss the salad with your pelvic muscles
posted by kurosawa's pal at 8:18 PM on February 16


This is the type of "best of the web" post of which we need to see more.
posted by Munching Langolier at 8:38 PM on February 16 [3 favorites]


jfc imagine being the QA tester for this app
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:55 PM on February 16 [16 favorites]


if you are going to gamify the pelvic floor it is mandatory

Metafilter: weaponizing the pelvic floor
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:59 PM on February 16 [6 favorites]


I want to weaponize my vagina rage but have zero interest in butterflies. The first person to make an app where I'm breaking bricks or piñata can take my money.
posted by corb at 10:04 PM on February 16 [16 favorites]


Inexplicably missing a Flappy Bird clone.
posted by jaduncan at 10:17 PM on February 16 [1 favorite]


I have ... skills, but my gyno (who recently removed my uterus, and had me squeeze her fingers in 6 week check up) warned me that you can do too many exercises (?), and she recommended 4 sets of 10 reps max.
posted by b33j at 10:31 PM on February 16 [4 favorites]


I'm doing them now.
posted by fullerine at 11:48 PM on February 16 [9 favorites]


Me too.
posted by Thella at 12:24 AM on February 17 [6 favorites]


I don't know if they're still available, but there was a Kickstarted similar device called the SKEA (available in not-pink!) a couple of years back.

A friend of mine got one, and he's written a couple of blog posts about reverse engineering the API and building his own app for it (and at least has some research into the available research on what sort of exercises are effective)
posted by amcewen at 1:58 AM on February 17


my gyno (who recently removed my uterus, and had me squeeze her fingers in 6 week check up) warned me that you can do too many exercises (?)

I read about pee leaks in runners the other day – of course now I can no longer find the link – but one of the interesting things they mentioned is how there are two general causes: pelvic floor weakness, or a pelvic floor that's too strong. Yeah. They said that a too-strong pelvic floor generally occurs with people who carry stress in their abdomen and clench a lot without necessarily realizing it. The muscles get tired, especially in older age, and can no longer be controlled as well.

As with all things, balance is good.
posted by fraula at 2:21 AM on February 17 [2 favorites]


This, also, seems like data that law enforcement agencies would be likely to get warrants for.
posted by bryon at 3:36 AM on February 17 [1 favorite]


jfc imagine being the QA tester for this app

As a male QA tester, I must respectfully decline. Then, hypothetically, take it home with me when no-one is looking.
posted by Quindar Beep at 5:44 AM on February 17 [2 favorites]


I have ... skills, but my gyno (who recently removed my uterus, and had me squeeze her fingers in 6 week check up) warned me that you can do too many exercises (?), and she recommended 4 sets of 10 reps max.
posted by b33j at 1:31 AM on February 17


Epony- ಠ_ಠ
posted by Mayor West at 6:22 AM on February 17


Said David Cronenberg, "I'm listening..."
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:42 AM on February 17 [1 favorite]


I read about pee leaks in runners the other day – of course now I can no longer find the link – but one of the interesting things they mentioned is how there are two general causes: pelvic floor weakness, or a pelvic floor that's too strong. Yeah.

Hmmmm....I'm not sure about that. High impact activity can also weaken pelvic floor muscles (coughing, jumping, running, trampolining) but that's still a "too weak" problem. It's also possible that some sports can create muscle changes that make incontinence more likely.

I can say that I am pretty fit and had very weak pelvic floor muscles despite many hours a week of sport, it was Pilates that cured me.

IANA a doctor or health researcher but this looks like an interesting question!

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15233598
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17497753
posted by epanalepsis at 7:26 AM on February 17


This Kegel exerciser - it vibrates, right?
posted by nickmark at 9:21 AM on February 17


Ummm I would be on board with something that allowed me to literally crush the cartoon patriarchy with my vagina on a daily basis

Like a KITH squish their heads, only much, much more satisfying
posted by schadenfrau at 10:20 AM on February 17 [3 favorites]


Perifit would like to access your camera and location services.
And your microphone.
posted by Splunge at 11:03 AM on February 17


Katy Bowman has spoken at length about this subject for years and isn't a fan of specifically using kegels as a fix.

1,2,3,4 We like our Pelvic Floor!

Stop Doing Kegels: Real Pelvic Floor Advice For Women (and Men)
posted by P.o.B. at 12:15 PM on February 17 [3 favorites]


a pink device
So you know it's for women


Normally, I'm not into all the pink, but with this...
May I say I appreciate the color coordination?

I was told by my therapist (female) after my stroke that often women are doing it wrong. If you have to pee, don't squeeze your toes, knees, and thighs together while slightly hunching over. (Women will recognize this as the universal "pee stance.")

Instead, stand up straight, slightly turn your toes out, and squeeze your heels together. Works in about 75% of women to tighten the bladder control muscles, with the added bonus of not making you look quite so desperate.
posted by BlueHorse at 3:11 PM on February 17 [1 favorite]


Found the article, which is written by a medical doctor. Loosening your pelvic floor. From the intro:
Most women are familiar with exercises that tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor. These exercises are sometimes called kegels and involve squeezing and lifting the hammock of muscles that run from the back of your pelvis to your pubic bones at the front, your pelvic floor.

Exercises like these might have been recommended to you if you tend to leak a bit of urine when you sneeze or when you take part in a high impact activity like running (stress incontinence).

This seems logical because if your pelvic floor is weak and you can’t prevent urine from escaping, then it makes sense to try to tighten up these muscles, right? Not necessarily…actually many women who run already have very tight pelvic floor muscle and this might actually be the problem.

The pelvic floor can be so tight, in fact, that these muscles are effectively weakened because they are permanently overworking in a constricted state. So when the bladder is put under sudden pressure, they are unable to generate enough power quickly to block off the flow of urine.

In these circumstances, working on exercises, like kegels, to tighten the pelvic floor will actually make things worse, not better.
posted by fraula at 10:20 AM on February 18


That sounds to me like the well-established idea - in other contexts - that stretching is as important as muscle-building. How did that notion get left out in this circumstance (other than when squats were recommended in one of the links above)?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:44 AM on February 18


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