Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates.

February 25, 2017 2:17 PM

Enjoy the smile-inducing spectacle of this dog buying his own treats. Now watch this cat trying to help with taxes. [both videos ambient sound only]
posted by Johnny Wallflower (25 comments total)

(Dog video h/t Miss Cellania)
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:18 PM on February 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE DESCRIBED MY CAT NANCY AS A ROOMMATE AND NOT A PET!
posted by hippybear at 2:22 PM on February 25, 2017 [11 favorites]

Whereas Rocky, the boy cat, is such a needy thing that "pet" is a mild term for his emotional requirements.
posted by hippybear at 2:23 PM on February 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

(also, I am utterly in love with the dog video! OMG!)
posted by hippybear at 2:26 PM on February 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

(also, what kind of roommates have you had that leads you to describe that second video as roommate behavior?)
posted by hippybear at 2:27 PM on February 25, 2017 [6 favorites]

Thank you, Johnny Wallflower for another great critter post!

This is a great dog who obviously loves to 'work', as good dogs do.

The cat, however, creates more work, as is their right.
posted by mightshould at 2:35 PM on February 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

Our cats are very much like our kid. Independent, occasionally cranky, wont to seek us out and snuggle even at an advantaged age.
posted by Peach at 3:31 PM on February 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

I've watched the cat one multiple times, bursting into laughter each time.

Max might have wanted to help with the taxes but needs to go back and brush up on his 'physics for cats' classes.
posted by kitten magic at 3:46 PM on February 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Springer Spaniels are wicked smart. They steal the best dishes from the neighbors.

I always remember this one Tom and Jerry cartoon in which, for some reason, Tom had to do this old lady's housework, and Jerry kept getting in his way and undoing all his efforts. The part I remember most is when he was trying to sweep, the lady came in and said, "You're making a bigger mess than there was to start with, you freeloadin' cat!" I think I've probably said that every day to every cat I've ever had since then.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:20 PM on February 25, 2017 [7 favorites]

The IRS estimates that the average time burden for taxpayers filing Form 1040EZ is 5 hours, with an average cost of $40 per return (page 42 of Instructions booklet). "Reported time and cost burdens are national averages and do not necessarily reflect a 'typical' case. Most taxpayers experience lower than average burden, with taxpayer burden varying considerably by taxpayer type."

Cat-owning taxpayer types skew the average time higher.
posted by cynical pinnacle at 5:12 PM on February 25, 2017

I ask my cat why he didn't help pay my taxes. He says there's no way, and that I'm a sucker.

Quote:
“That makes me smart,” adding a moment later, “It would be squandered too, believe me.”
"I save my $$ for Meaty Giblets and Gravy."

Jerk.

That cat eats better than I do.

Maybe a cat that would help do taxes would work for ya. Eh, I dunno.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:34 PM on February 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

cynical pinnacle, those estimates make perfect sense here. My two kids did their free Turbo taxes online in five minutes each. I spent hours printing out emails at the library, calling for and fetching documents, and searching through files. But the two hours spent with piles of documents on the dining room table would have been only an hour if it weren't for a certain white cat who loves paper.
posted by Miss Cellania at 6:22 PM on February 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

I have never had to buy a special little shovel which I used to dig my human roommate's doo-doo out of a box of tiny rocks.
posted by tippy at 6:22 PM on February 25, 2017 [7 favorites]

So, what do you use to dig your human roommate's doo-doo out of a box of tiny rocks if not a special shovel?
posted by hippybear at 6:34 PM on February 25, 2017 [20 favorites]

That cat video was why my terrible trio were locked out of the office while I was adding up book receipts...
posted by thomas j wise at 6:38 PM on February 25, 2017

Oh my god, I almost couldn't physically stand what a good boy that dog was.

The guy with the paperwork perfectly laid out on a table and a launching pad adjacent kinda deserved what he got. It was a perfect invitation.
posted by moira at 7:11 PM on February 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

(also, what kind of roommates have you had that leads you to describe that second video as roommate behavior?)

Cats
posted by ActingTheGoat at 7:16 PM on February 25, 2017 [9 favorites]

I tried to understand why I preferred one of these videos to the other. The dog one feels uncomfortably like punching down. The cat one is clearly punching up.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:07 PM on February 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I thought that was my line. Clearly, it's just obvious to anyone who knows dogs and cats.

Point of clarification: on behalf of those of us who have lived through the experience, I would like to add that dogs are NOT like teenagers.
posted by she's not there at 11:23 PM on February 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

We had a lab/border collie mix who was just insanely smart -- she knew different names for maybe 8-10 different toys, and would bring them on command, as well as other goofy things. Miss her like anything.

Also, though, I sometimes cringe when I think of someone writing the dystopian novel in which the citizens passed their time by watching vids of dogs choosing their own treats and carrying them to the shopping basket. Sort of Bradbury in Fahrenheit 451, if you know what I mean.
posted by allthinky at 6:35 AM on February 26, 2017

I would be 100% less cranky at the slow lines at my local Canadian Tire if a collie was ahead of me.
posted by right_then at 7:56 AM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

Most dogs love having jobs, most cats are lazy and on the dole. Hm, I wonder if there is a conservative/liberal split in pet ownership.
posted by AFABulous at 8:30 AM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

I would be 100% less cranky at the slow lines at my local Canadian Tire if a collie was ahead of me.

Ils sont bons chiens, reght.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:39 AM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

If anyone ever gave a treat to my yellow lab, the person and the location would be stamped in her memory and we'd never be able to pass the place again without a lot of pulling. The guy at the computer store gave her something from his lunch...8 years later she'd still need to be dragged past it.
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:48 PM on February 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

You can pet a crouton, or give it to Rani so she can go fishing.
posted by zamboni at 9:00 PM on February 26, 2017