Bring Your Own Pie
March 31, 2017 8:38 AM Subscribe
In the Northern Quarter of Manchester in deepest Yorkshire, a gravy bar is opening. No, gravy bar. What is this? It's a place serving meals focused around, well, gravy. First, select your gravy. Then, select your pie (or hand over one of the pies you carry around with you if you are English), e.g. a hollowed out bread bowl. Finally, add some extras e.g. gingerbread, hundreds and thousands, or a pickled egg, or dipping chips. Customers can bring their own Thermos to be filled with gravy. The Danish press is particularly excited, and crowds are expected for the opening tomorrow. Hashtag mason jar.
The Hundreds & Thousands go on the gravy, as the sweetness brings out the flavor of the liquid. A pretty inspirational topping idea.
posted by Wordshore at 8:44 AM on March 31, 2017
posted by Wordshore at 8:44 AM on March 31, 2017
A bit of Peter Serafinowicz from the gravy bar twitter feed.
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 8:49 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Bloxworth Snout at 8:49 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
I love this so, so much, I may need to visit my Yorkshire relatives. (Note, I currently live in the States.) And the linked article is correct, this is indeed the most Northern eatery ever.
posted by dawg-proud at 8:50 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by dawg-proud at 8:50 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
Manchester in deepest Yorkshire? I am shocked and appalled at this slight on the fair red Lancastrian rose, sir, and demand satisfaction.
(Also, there is a special circle in Hades for people who do April Fools early, even if the japes are soaked in delicious gravy.)
posted by sobarel at 8:51 AM on March 31, 2017 [14 favorites]
(Also, there is a special circle in Hades for people who do April Fools early, even if the japes are soaked in delicious gravy.)
posted by sobarel at 8:51 AM on March 31, 2017 [14 favorites]
I opened the menu and my mouth got all wet. I'm sitting her drooling about to go have salad. I could just weep.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
Nooooo, drat. Well, I think it's a great idea, and I stand by the idea that I would go to such a restaurant.
posted by dawg-proud at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by dawg-proud at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
I love NQ very much and this is peak NQ, i.e. a slightly ridiculous, yet loving appropriation of the past done with a twirl of a moustache at a place mostly frequently by people carrying a French Bulldog. I expect photos of people with their gravy thermos in front of the nearest Bowie mural.
posted by kariebookish at 8:53 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by kariebookish at 8:53 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
And if it doesn't really exist, it should set up right across from Ziferblat
posted by kariebookish at 8:54 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by kariebookish at 8:54 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
No, you're pricing flights from Chicago to Manchester.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:56 AM on March 31, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:56 AM on March 31, 2017 [12 favorites]
UPDATE: Former English cricketer tweets photograph of fine dining Pasty a la Cornwall.
posted by Wordshore at 8:57 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Wordshore at 8:57 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
On closer reading, :(
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:57 AM on March 31, 2017
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:57 AM on March 31, 2017
This would be better in Ancoats anyway, next to the place where they're distilling water from the Rochdale Canal to make aquavit and the artisinal Vimto emporium.
posted by sobarel at 8:59 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by sobarel at 8:59 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
And did we tell you the name of the game, boy?
We call it "Riding The Gravy Train".
posted by TedW at 9:00 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
We call it "Riding The Gravy Train".
posted by TedW at 9:00 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
No, you're pricing flights from Chicago to Manchester.
...
On closer reading, :(
You booked a refundable ticket, yes? Yorkshire Airlines are pretty flexible.
posted by Wordshore at 9:03 AM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
...
On closer reading, :(
You booked a refundable ticket, yes? Yorkshire Airlines are pretty flexible.
posted by Wordshore at 9:03 AM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
My cat used to always lick all the gravy off his wet food and only sometimes eat the meat chunks. I like to imagine that I could have taken him to this restaurant where he could have seriously (even gravely) pondered the menu before ordering a tiny mug of a select gravy.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:09 AM on March 31, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:09 AM on March 31, 2017 [9 favorites]
Manchester in deepest Yorkshire? I am shocked and appalled at this slight on the fair red Lancastrian rose
Indeed - Yorkshire contains many wonders, but Manchester is not one of them.
posted by robself at 9:15 AM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
Indeed - Yorkshire contains many wonders, but Manchester is not one of them.
posted by robself at 9:15 AM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
This should exist. If I had disposable capital and lived in a suitable city I'd do it myself.
posted by aramaic at 9:19 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by aramaic at 9:19 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
The problem with this restaurant as an April's Fool is:
a) if you don't know the Northern Quarter you wouldn't get the joke; but
b) if you know the Northern Quarter you wouldn't think it's a joke.
posted by Emma May Smith at 9:19 AM on March 31, 2017 [11 favorites]
a) if you don't know the Northern Quarter you wouldn't get the joke; but
b) if you know the Northern Quarter you wouldn't think it's a joke.
posted by Emma May Smith at 9:19 AM on March 31, 2017 [11 favorites]
Of course it's a joke: no self-respecting gravy bar devoted to exploring the world's many gravies would leave out American classics like country gravy or red-eye gravy.
posted by heurtebise at 9:39 AM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by heurtebise at 9:39 AM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
Oh.
Please, please, please someone make this a reality. They even had vegetarians covered.
posted by Laura in Canada at 9:52 AM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
Please, please, please someone make this a reality. They even had vegetarians covered.
posted by Laura in Canada at 9:52 AM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
No, you're pricing flights from Chicago to Manchester.
American has a non-stop. (It's either AA54 or AA55--the other one is MAN-ORD.) I wouldn't be shocked if there was another non-stop, but there wasn't when I was a kid. This is how my brother was in college before he discovered that people comparison shopped when buying planes tickets and didn't just phone American and pay them what they asked.
posted by hoyland at 9:55 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
American has a non-stop. (It's either AA54 or AA55--the other one is MAN-ORD.) I wouldn't be shocked if there was another non-stop, but there wasn't when I was a kid. This is how my brother was in college before he discovered that people comparison shopped when buying planes tickets and didn't just phone American and pay them what they asked.
posted by hoyland at 9:55 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
"What if bringing country gravy and red-eye gravy to the people of Manchester is life's purpose? Like really, what if it is?" - me, just now
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:56 AM on March 31, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:56 AM on March 31, 2017 [13 favorites]
They even had vegetarians covered.
Vegetarians covered in gravy. Delicious.
Sorry. Went all Hannibal for a moment.
posted by Grangousier at 9:58 AM on March 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
Vegetarians covered in gravy. Delicious.
Sorry. Went all Hannibal for a moment.
posted by Grangousier at 9:58 AM on March 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
This is all gravy.
posted by vibrotronica at 10:16 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by vibrotronica at 10:16 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
A friend who seriously considers gravy as a beverage is toying with the idea of opening a local branch already.
posted by peppermind at 10:20 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by peppermind at 10:20 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
Show me the way
To the next gravy bar
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why
For if we don't find
The next gravy bar
I tell you we must die
I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die
posted by Splunge at 10:24 AM on March 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
To the next gravy bar
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why
For if we don't find
The next gravy bar
I tell you we must die
I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die
posted by Splunge at 10:24 AM on March 31, 2017 [7 favorites]
One reason to have roast lamb is that lamb gravy is ridiculously delicious. I'm deeply sad that this is not real. Would have been sweet to see them get the Nobel for cuisine.
posted by theora55 at 10:34 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by theora55 at 10:34 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
A friend who seriously considers gravy as a beverage is toying with the idea of opening a local branch already.
SEE this is why April Fools is worth keeping around. Some jerks came up with an "absurd" idea and had a laugh about it but then someone comes along... a visionary...
posted by danny the boy at 10:38 AM on March 31, 2017 [5 favorites]
SEE this is why April Fools is worth keeping around. Some jerks came up with an "absurd" idea and had a laugh about it but then someone comes along... a visionary...
posted by danny the boy at 10:38 AM on March 31, 2017 [5 favorites]
HONEY, WE'RE MOVING TO MANCH...
oh.
*cries*
posted by Space Kitty at 11:15 AM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
oh.
*cries*
posted by Space Kitty at 11:15 AM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
A thermos full of gravy would solve most of the problems in my life right now.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:17 AM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by blue_beetle at 11:17 AM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
I so wish this were real. That said, I've found British gravy tends to be something of a thin, watery disappointment compared to the brun sovs I know from home (most of it would be sneeringly dismissed as "såås" - a Danish hypercorrect mispronounciation of the French 'sauce' - rather than "sovs" - Danish for the same. The other defining feature of såås is that there isn't enough of it.)
I have a joint of pork defrosting for the weekend. I might have to do a proper oldschool roast, and heat some crisps in the oven for dipping in the gravy like my grandmother always did.
posted by Dysk at 11:28 AM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
I have a joint of pork defrosting for the weekend. I might have to do a proper oldschool roast, and heat some crisps in the oven for dipping in the gravy like my grandmother always did.
posted by Dysk at 11:28 AM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
Clearly I need some sort of gravy newsletter. These gravies all sound intriguing.
[And yes, the Northern Quarter detail pushed this firmly into the realms of plausible, until the hundreds and thousands bit.]
posted by threetwentytwo at 11:33 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
[And yes, the Northern Quarter detail pushed this firmly into the realms of plausible, until the hundreds and thousands bit.]
posted by threetwentytwo at 11:33 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
(like, what sort of crisps we talking about, Dysk?)
posted by threetwentytwo at 11:34 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by threetwentytwo at 11:34 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
Pretty much the same as regular Walker's ready salted (franske kartofler rather than chips in Danish), just warmed up in the cooling oven while the meat rests and everything else is arranged for serving.
posted by Dysk at 11:41 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Dysk at 11:41 AM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
So many exciting foods in this thread, none of which I will get to eat. :sadpandaface:
posted by Samizdata at 11:47 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Samizdata at 11:47 AM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
The local Build A Burger has gummy bears as a topping so the gravy/hundreds and thousands thing didn't seem that weird to me.
posted by billiebee at 12:02 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by billiebee at 12:02 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
Of all the foodstuffs I miss from England I have been most surprised that I miss the ridiculously cheap grocery store meat pies. Baltis I knew I would miss. Pub culture I knew I would miss. M&S motlen chocolate puddings I knew I would miss.
the 1.69 sainsbury meat pies? Didn't know I would miss them.
And dammed if it isn't the shitty gravy in them that I miss the most.
posted by srboisvert at 12:12 PM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
the 1.69 sainsbury meat pies? Didn't know I would miss them.
And dammed if it isn't the shitty gravy in them that I miss the most.
posted by srboisvert at 12:12 PM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
My grandmother used to say that the gravy could be good, or there could be a lot of it.
So rather than go into extensive detail about exactly what kind of cooking prowess she possessed, I can simply tell you there was lots and lots of gravy.
posted by nickmark at 12:29 PM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
So rather than go into extensive detail about exactly what kind of cooking prowess she possessed, I can simply tell you there was lots and lots of gravy.
posted by nickmark at 12:29 PM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
MetaFilter: Clearly I need some sort of gravy newsletter.
posted by Wordshore at 12:55 PM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Wordshore at 12:55 PM on March 31, 2017 [4 favorites]
Voltaire famously said "England has 42 religions but only 2 sauces." Gravy is obviously one of them, but what is the second? Cheese?
posted by cardboard at 12:57 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by cardboard at 12:57 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
Gravy is a drink, as mentioned above. The two sauces are HP and tomato (BBQ and ketchup).
posted by GeckoDundee at 1:00 PM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by GeckoDundee at 1:00 PM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
I want to take you to a g[r]a[v]y bar.
But, not gonna lie, I can totally imagine a trendy, hole-in-the-wall place in Seattle with basically the same menu (minus the drinking gravy and hundreds-and-thousands and BYOP option).
posted by mhum at 1:24 PM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
But, not gonna lie, I can totally imagine a trendy, hole-in-the-wall place in Seattle with basically the same menu (minus the drinking gravy and hundreds-and-thousands and BYOP option).
posted by mhum at 1:24 PM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
Call fake. I recognise the name on the DNS records. They work for a N¼ boutique hipster-site agency.
(Sales plug: MeFi meetup in Manchester in a couple of weeks, check IRL)
posted by davemee at 1:55 PM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
(Sales plug: MeFi meetup in Manchester in a couple of weeks, check IRL)
posted by davemee at 1:55 PM on March 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
Speaking as a Brummie, I'm glad Manchester's got its pride in its own cuisine back. Last time I read a review of an avant garde restaurant in Manchester, it was a foul-mouthed dudebro burger place. But in Tib Street, where 19 year-old me almost bought a flat with then-fiancé.
posted by ambrosen at 2:03 PM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by ambrosen at 2:03 PM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
Besides sounding delicious, in a world where you can choose amongst fifteen different waters at $10 a pop before you ever order your food, it sounds positively restrained.
posted by Room 641-A at 3:33 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Room 641-A at 3:33 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
"Choose your concept."
posted by iamkimiam at 4:58 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by iamkimiam at 4:58 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
Call fake. I recognise the name on the DNS records. They work for a N¼ boutique hipster-site agency.
Prediction: by this time next year, it will be real. Get your pies ready.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:03 PM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
Prediction: by this time next year, it will be real. Get your pies ready.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:03 PM on March 31, 2017 [2 favorites]
But, not gonna lie, I can totally imagine a trendy, hole-in-the-wall place in Seattle with basically the same menu (minus the drinking gravy and hundreds-and-thousands and BYOP option).
They wouldn't have BYOP; WA State Health Regulations probably prevent it.
But I could see vegan health gravy 'shots' being a thing that they do. And they'd also make and serve their own kombucha.
posted by spinifex23 at 11:20 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
They wouldn't have BYOP; WA State Health Regulations probably prevent it.
But I could see vegan health gravy 'shots' being a thing that they do. And they'd also make and serve their own kombucha.
posted by spinifex23 at 11:20 PM on March 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
I wonder if they'll have a meeting about all the publicity and conclude that they'd be a lot more successful if they actually opened the Gravy Bar than being yet another web design agency.
posted by Grangousier at 12:07 AM on April 1, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Grangousier at 12:07 AM on April 1, 2017 [2 favorites]
This is entirely believable for an area with two cereal bars and its own satirical Twitter account. The menu is realistic, the map centres on exactly the most likely street... and then the lack of a mark on the map made me suspicious. It could be a startup-style lean launch, where they announce a product to gauge how popular it would be, but... hmm.
The Confidential article linked to by sineater is a good example of their rather variable journalism, as the writer, frequently paid to review food, angrily denies the existence of vegan gravy despite it being available as a normal product in every almost grocery store for decades at least.
posted by BinaryApe at 1:21 AM on April 1, 2017 [1 favorite]
The Confidential article linked to by sineater is a good example of their rather variable journalism, as the writer, frequently paid to review food, angrily denies the existence of vegan gravy despite it being available as a normal product in every almost grocery store for decades at least.
posted by BinaryApe at 1:21 AM on April 1, 2017 [1 favorite]
curse you Wordshore!!! I've had the tab open since this a.m. to read later. Now that it's later I cannot bring myself to forgive anyone.
country gravy or red-eye gravy That's just crazy talk. They'd be run out of Manchester. Hot chilli gravy only gets through by surreptitiously being a curry i.e. trad Brit cuisine.
Hundreds and thousands can only count as gravy after the Apocalypse. Custard, on the other hand ...
posted by glasseyes at 6:08 AM on April 1, 2017 [1 favorite]
country gravy or red-eye gravy That's just crazy talk. They'd be run out of Manchester. Hot chilli gravy only gets through by surreptitiously being a curry i.e. trad Brit cuisine.
Hundreds and thousands can only count as gravy after the Apocalypse. Custard, on the other hand ...
posted by glasseyes at 6:08 AM on April 1, 2017 [1 favorite]
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