ding ding ding!
September 3, 2017 7:30 PM   Subscribe

 
You will come to regret teaching this to your cat.
posted by ryanrs at 7:39 PM on September 3 [8 favorites]


Look closely at the expression on the white cat's face after she rings the bell, and then imagine what's going to happen when you run out of treats but she's still ringing the bell.........
posted by Huck500 at 7:57 PM on September 3 [4 favorites]


That was hilarious, but I'm reminded of a cat my old roommate halfway trained to poo in the toilet, and all the cat took away from that was how to flush the toilet, so I'd wake up at 2am to Flush, tink, tink, tink, flush, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, flush. That and he used to shred the tp up and down the hallway. Bad Edgar!
posted by Sphinx at 7:59 PM on September 3 [5 favorites]


My uncle had a cat that he would bring to our cottage. To prevent her from decimating the local wildlife, he put a bell on her collar.

Naturally, she learned to move about the place without ringing the bell, and then would shake her head when she wanted us to let her in or out of the cottage.


She was also great at letting you know if there was a bat in your room at night, because you would wake up to find her sitting on your bed, looking back and forth at the ceiling.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:17 PM on September 3 [7 favorites]


Allow me to suggest this for further research.
posted by adzm at 8:24 PM on September 3 [2 favorites]


As the first step in training our cat to do some tricks, we taught her to touch a pointer with her paw (a pompom on the end of a stick) and rewarded her with treats when she did. The pointer was kept on a shelf in the lounge. One day I came in to find she had climbed up onto the shelf and was patting the pompom over and over with the paw, and then looking upwards each time as though she expected treats to magically appear.

This was the moment at which I realised working with a bell would be a very bad idea.
posted by lollusc at 8:28 PM on September 3 [19 favorites]


Those cats used to run the largest meth cartel in New Mexico.
posted by Artw at 8:41 PM on September 3 [13 favorites]


I had a cat who would tap tap on my hand or leg as if she was ringing a bell. I used to call it the are-you-my-server.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:52 PM on September 3 [1 favorite]


Those cats used to run the largest meth cartel in New Mexico.

And I'm pretty sure the only way to get them to stop is the same way they got Tio to stop.
posted by Frayed Knot at 8:59 PM on September 3 [1 favorite]


I've heard before that it's a GREAT idea to teach your cat to use the toilet, but NEVER NEVER teach it to flush.
posted by rhizome at 9:19 PM on September 3 [5 favorites]


Pavlov's Mogs.
posted by unliteral at 10:08 PM on September 3


Pavlov's Mogs.

But it's the human responding to the bell, isn't it?

Who trained whom, exactly?
posted by mikeand1 at 10:10 PM on September 3 [8 favorites]


I wonder what they do when the bells are hidden. And I think the hats are an untold subtext here.
posted by rhizome at 10:27 PM on September 3 [1 favorite]


That was hilarious, but I'm reminded of a cat my old roommate halfway trained to poo in the toilet, and all the cat took away from that was how to flush the toilet, so I'd wake up at 2am to Flush, tink, tink, tink, flush, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, flush. That and he used to shred the tp up and down the hallway. Bad Edgar!

Hah! Your cat is inferior! youngercatbailard figured out how to shred the toilet paper without any training at all!
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:14 AM on September 4 [1 favorite]


Every service desk should leave a loop of that video running all day. Also, leave a couple of those hats on the counter and a couple of empty plates. Then go in the back room and wait to see what happens.
posted by pracowity at 1:54 AM on September 4 [4 favorites]


I could only watch a fraction of that, because every time the bell rang my bird freaked out.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:04 AM on September 4


When I was a teenager, we had this one cat who just hauled off and started using the people toilet all by herself one day, without being taught. (It could have been related to the amount of black coffee she stole out of any unattended cup she could find.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:59 AM on September 4 [4 favorites]


Who trained whom, exactly?
What
posted by unliteral at 6:01 AM on September 4 [1 favorite]


In case any of you youngsters out there are wondering what to do with your lives, you should know that guidance counselors commonly neglect to tell graduating students about the ongoing shortage of cat trainers, and cat toilet trainers in particular. This is not a job that can be easily outsourced.
posted by pracowity at 6:11 AM on September 4


I've been able to successfully teach one of my (three) cats to lay down on command. I just said "lay down" over and over and over until he naturally did it on his own, then gave him a treat and a pet. Rinsed and repeated until he connected the words. There is no way in HELL I would give my cats a bell.
posted by AFABulous at 6:18 AM on September 4 [1 favorite]


I have read a case study by an actual "pay me to help you start your business" type person, about someone being very successful filling a gap in the market for cat toilet training.
posted by emilyw at 7:16 AM on September 4


My cats been trained to high five for treats and stand on his hind legs. The only problem is not if he gets ansy he'll just pat your hand over and over and over. I think he's a treat adict.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 7:41 AM on September 4




You are going to hate this, but the hats cover the electrode pedestals installed on the top of their heads to give them shocks in their pleasure regions, or whatever they do. I had a friend who worked in a lab like this, I visited and saw the cats in their cages, with stuff sticking out of their heads, yes I did. I know what I am talking about here.
posted by Oyéah at 11:30 AM on September 4


They are obviously being given shocks in their pleasure regions, those regions are their little tummies, they've being given treats.

The caps hide the fact they just got out of the shower.
posted by JHarris at 11:55 AM on September 4 [2 favorites]


The cats use the treats to buy milkshake.
posted by Artw at 12:04 PM on September 4


You are going to hate this, but the hats cover the electrode pedestals installed on the top of their heads to give them shocks in their pleasure regions

I mean, I think we can safely go Occam's Razor here and assume that a person who teaches their cats to ask for treats by ringing a bell is also a person who would dress their cats in pumpkin hats.
posted by mudpuppie at 12:58 PM on September 4 [4 favorites]


I have sometimes thought about training Jacqueline to ring a bell for "please turn on the tap for me to drink from" instead of her current method of pawing endlessly at the sink until somebody notices her.

Then I think again because *ding* *ding* *ding*.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 1:04 PM on September 4 [3 favorites]


Couldn't you just teach Jacqueline to turn on the tap?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:24 PM on September 4 [2 favorites]


Like she'd bother turning it back off again.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 5:35 PM on September 4 [3 favorites]


You could get Jacqueline a water bowl with a water filter on it. We use a cheap trifle bowl and a cheap fish tank filter.

I clicker trained our two cats to come when called, sit and beg. Success varies depending on whether they believe you have treats, although they will usually touch your finger if it's out just to see if treats will appear.
posted by poxandplague at 10:58 PM on September 4 [1 favorite]


There's also a video without hats.
posted by Mavri at 5:50 AM on September 5


(We got Jacqueline a cat fountain; she used it occasionally for a week or two and then studiously ignored it. She does also drink from the cats' water dishes; I think she just likes the attention of being butlered at the sink.)
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 8:53 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]


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