Do this at least 12 times.
February 25, 2018 2:24 PM   Subscribe

 
The narrator takes his job very seriously. I bet he recorded this video a minimum of 12 times.
posted by mr_bovis at 2:51 PM on February 25, 2018 [10 favorites]


Why arn't all the logos applied in the same layer?
posted by Dr. Twist at 3:00 PM on February 25, 2018


I can’t believe I watched the whole thing.
posted by ericost at 3:03 PM on February 25, 2018 [8 favorites]


Curling is the instructional video of sports.
posted by theodolite at 3:42 PM on February 25, 2018


Yes.

I've had the idea of a Canadian Big Lebowski (Or Raymond Chandler, but with Tim Hortons), but instead of bowling, The Dude is a Curling Ice certifier, whose day job is sit around and monitor the curling ice and making some money on the side by selling his predictions on how ice will behave during matches based on weights of players, time of day, resident humidity, and phase of the moon.
posted by mrzarquon at 3:48 PM on February 25, 2018 [4 favorites]


Skip to 3m20s if you want to hear a good ol' Canadian "out."
posted by thecjm at 4:24 PM on February 25, 2018


Good luck - I can't get Curling Canada to return my numerous pitch calls. No interest in either "The Cold Rock" - where a band of thieves repeatedly try to steal a valuable curling stone - or "Heavy Ice" which I described as "Slap Shot, but it's curling!". You might think they sell themselves, but you'd be wrong.
posted by sysinfo at 4:31 PM on February 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


sysinfo: you might try to get into contact with Stephen Chow for your new script Shaolin Curling.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:10 PM on February 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


Constantly monitor the ice temperature - but what temperature are you aiming for?? Drill the holes for the hacks, looks like half an inch or so off the line... but why not right on the line??

I'm going to have to buy the manual, aren't I?
posted by clawsoon at 5:12 PM on February 25, 2018


The curling club in my hometown shut down because there was no one left in town who knew how to make ice or repair the ice making equipment. I always assumed that was some kind of lame cop-out, but as it turns out, making ice is bloody complicated.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:20 PM on February 25, 2018


mrzarquon: Your ice technician likely has this page bookmarked.
posted by loquacious at 5:52 PM on February 25, 2018


Skip to 3m20s if you want to hear a good ol' Canadian "out."

What about it?

*ducks*
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:54 PM on February 25, 2018


Having watched to the end of the video, I see that insertion of the lucky looney remains a trade secret.
posted by clawsoon at 5:57 PM on February 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


The curling club in my hometown shut down because there was no one left in town who knew how to make ice or repair the ice making equipment. I always assumed that was some kind of lame cop-out, but as it turns out, making ice is bloody complicated.

The thing that recently happened in my husband's home town, which is a place where curling is taken seriously (he had it as part of gym class in high school), is that the money simply isn't there to replace the ice plant at the curling rink. The town's economy has sagged considerably in the past decade, so it's kind of sad that they've just had to close the rink.

Looking at projects elsewhere where they need to be replaced, it looks like they're not cheap.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:59 PM on February 25, 2018


Yeah, it looks like $200-250k is pretty standard. I still feel like this was a missed branding opportunity for Target Canada (until they folded, anyway...)
posted by sysinfo at 6:46 PM on February 25, 2018


If you enjoyed that, you will probably also enjoy learning how they prepare the luge track.
posted by lilac girl at 6:58 PM on February 25, 2018


"After each pass collect the snow, put it into a dustpan... and melt the snow in a microwave."

He's trolling us, right?
posted by colin.jaquiery at 12:24 AM on February 26, 2018 [2 favorites]


Being English I have to suddenly get interested in curling every four years when the Scottish team becomes TEAM GB! for the Olympics.

There seems to be only one dedicated curling rink in the whole of England (another in Wales... and 22 in Scotland). They don't even have it at the National Ice Center in Nottingham as far as I know.

I had previously though that the cost of the stones would have been the prohibitive factor but I'm guessing now it's the cost of maintaining a specialized bit of ice... I imagine you can't just slap on a few circles and lines on a municipal rink and call it done even for non-championship standard
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:44 AM on February 26, 2018


Watching the Olympics, I was wondering how many experts in building and maintaining all these specialised arenas there are . For example, wikipedia says there are only 18 luge tracks in the whole world, it must be a relatively tiny profession.
posted by lucidium at 5:05 AM on February 26, 2018


How many days does it take to convert a hockey rink to a curling rink? (And conversely, break down).. All the marking/painting steps seem to include 10-15 hand-applied "light coats" (and making sure it freezes and ice temp back down), then lug the big sprayer assembly down, then do another mark/paint/logo step, etc. Instead of watching the paint dry, seems like you're endlessly watching the ice freeze ?

(And to break down -- what, set the zamboni shaver depth to the max, and keep going around and dumping the snow and repeat until it's all scraped off ?)
posted by k5.user at 6:54 AM on February 26, 2018


I always assumed that was some kind of lame cop-out, but as it turns out, making ice is bloody complicated.

Curling ice is even moreso, due to the special "pebbled" surface that has to be applied.
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:09 AM on February 26, 2018


How many days does it take to convert a hockey rink to a curling rink?

The short answer is - it doesn't.

They are two completely different beasts - different sizes, and very different ice requirements:

Hockey/skating ice is smooth (and kept smooth with a zamboni that shaves the top layer off, melts it, and re-surfaces the ice every so often). Smooth ice means the puck and the skaters can slide easily.

Curling ice is bumpy due to the application of tiny water droplets after you make the ice. The bumps are why the stones "curl" when you throw them with a rotation.

As to breaking ice down when you are DONE - you just turn off the refrigeration unit and let the ice melt and drain
posted by Paladin1138 at 8:23 AM on February 26, 2018




Yeah, I had no idea that curling ice was actually this complicated, either, which is why I posted the video.

The video kind of sneaks up on you, too. I love how the first like 5/6ths of the video is all this really complicated ice preparation and then they get to the last segment on pebbling and prepping the ice for play, and then as drily as possible the narrator announces that the real, serious ice preparation can begin.

In a lot of ways this reminds me of golf. The initial game of golf was really just a sort of a drunken walk through the wilds whacking a rock around with a stick, and was just a crude game. 200 years later we have putting green technicians and golf is no longer wild and messy.

With curling it seems like there was once a much wilder, less technical game buried in its history, and it makes me wonder if the over-specialization of the quest for striving for things like perfect curling ice isn't going to lead to the sport dying off at anything but pro levels, and without beginners and local/regional play and culture, would the pro levels continue to exist?
posted by loquacious at 8:27 AM on February 26, 2018


loquacious: With curling it seems like there was once a much wilder, less technical game buried in its history

It's funny; with all the efforts to make perfectly consistent ice, much of the talk from the former pro curler commentators on CBC was about which parts of a particular sheet were slower or faster, curling more or less. Skips and coaches held stopwatches to measure the differences. On critical shots - especially critical draws - throwing a line that you had thrown earlier in the game was safer, because throwing a new line would put you on a part of the sheet that might be faster or slower than expected.

You can make the base perfectly flat - and I'm sure the ice would be met with disbelief if it wasn't, if rocks were sliding downhill - but pebbling introduces randomness that makes it interesting.

That said, you could probably throw a pebble down on a frozen creek and get the wilder game of the past. That would make for an interesting contest.
posted by clawsoon at 8:45 AM on February 26, 2018


The short answer is - it doesn't.

But that's precisely what the video showed -- a hockey arena being transformed for a curling tournament .. Letting it melt seems wrong, but makes sense (eg if hockey season is over).

(I get that normally you'd have dedicated curling setup..)

it makes me wonder if the over-specialization of the quest for striving for things like perfect curling ice isn't going to lead to the sport dying off at anything but pro levels

Well, at the local hockey level, the zam is ran by the rink rat teenager. Puts down good enough ice. Isn't that part of the home advantage - knowing the local conditions ? I watch this and it's intriguing - lots of work to get it right.. But can't imagine any local clubs doing that kind of work and prep. Maybe some touchups for a big tourney, but never day-in-day-out.
posted by k5.user at 8:51 AM on February 26, 2018


> You might think they sell themselves, but you'd be wrong.

sysinfo: You might want to investigate prior art.
posted by ardgedee at 9:35 AM on February 26, 2018 [1 favorite]


But can't imagine any local clubs doing that kind of work and prep. Maybe some touchups for a big tourney, but never day-in-day-out.

So, a huge swathe of what's described here is converting hockey ice to curling ice -- cutting the ice down flat, laying out the lines and painting the circles. That's something a regular rink is only going to do once per season, because once the rings are down and frozen in, they're down and frozen in until the spring melt-out. I had no idea how much flipping work went into it.

Pebbling and cutting the pebble, though, happens between each game at most clubs, because the pebble breaks down as the game goes on. The ice changes noticeably as you play a game -- even ice that was pretty shitty to start with. Then you repebble and it starts fresh for the next game. It's not as careful a process in most clubs as it is at high competition level.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:40 AM on February 26, 2018 [3 favorites]


*Favourite added
posted by aloiv2 at 1:43 PM on February 26, 2018 [1 favorite]


when the guy popped up on screen while narrating it was quite jarring.
posted by numaner at 1:43 PM on February 26, 2018


CURLING STONES | How It's Made
posted by ericost at 1:56 PM on February 26, 2018 [2 favorites]


« Older A strange little ditty called "Whistle Bait"   |   This is not exactly what happened but it is... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments