Plato was the embodied form of the prep-jock

January 14, 2019 3:33 AM

"My morning doodle, explained in a thread. I've sorted philosophers along the only axes that matter." (SL Twitter thread)
posted by criticalbill (19 comments total)

This is clearly cropped for Twitter, in reality the 'goth' axis extends approximately three further miles to the right before there is written, in tiny apologetic handwriting, "Kierkegaard".
posted by aihal at 4:13 AM on January 14, 2019 [23 favorites]

Really weird to see Liam's Twitter make the front page of Metafilter, but he is a micro-influencer now so I guess that's just what we should expect.
posted by anotherpanacea at 5:28 AM on January 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

This is clearly cropped for Twitter, in reality the 'goth' axis extends approximately three further miles to the right before there is written, in tiny apologetic handwriting, "Kierkegaard".

In the non-cropped version, Nietzsche is about 3 miles north along the Jock line (and a bit to the right, as a goth) with his name in prominent bushy font.
posted by duffell at 6:21 AM on January 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

Nietzsche was well-known for his prowess at football, yes
posted by thelonius at 6:26 AM on January 14, 2019

I'm mainly placing him there because of the big "DO YOU EVEN PHILOSOPHY, BRO" vibes he gives off
posted by duffell at 6:33 AM on January 14, 2019 [8 favorites]

Yep. This all checks out. It's rare you see philosophy accurately represented on Twitter, but here it is.
posted by meese at 7:06 AM on January 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

I expect to see this graph on a future episode of The Good Place, which has educated America on philosophy in the same way that Looney Tunes educated us on classical music. Which is to say, not perfectly, but more than we would be otherwise.
posted by emjaybee at 7:17 AM on January 14, 2019 [10 favorites]

i like that their response to being posted on mefi was hilarity, confusion, and tentative disgust
posted by poffin boffin at 7:36 AM on January 14, 2019 [8 favorites]

Xunzi - literally actually said "human nature is bad"

Meh. Witness:

"Man is an invention of recent date. And one perhaps nearing its end. One can certainly wager that man would be erased, like a face drawn in sand at the edge of the sea."
- Michel Foucault
posted by Pyrogenesis at 8:43 AM on January 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

Can't.
posted by not_that_epiphanius at 8:59 AM on January 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: hilarity, confusion, and tentative disgust

sorry not sorry
posted by solotoro at 9:18 AM on January 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

Then 10 more miles after Kierkegaard, where it says Mainlander.

Also, invert that axis damnit, why are preps on the left?
posted by symbioid at 9:53 AM on January 14, 2019

It's a good start, but the axes could be expanded somewhat. For extra credit, I would like to see; The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads--they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:54 AM on January 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

I don't warrant inclusion?
posted by wittgenstein at 12:09 PM on January 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

Do Early and Late Wittgenstein get different loci?
posted by biogeo at 12:25 PM on January 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

I don't warrant inclusion?

Anscombe is representing I guess
posted by thelonius at 12:34 PM on January 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

I look forward to these forthcoming episodes of Swole History.
posted by pwnguin at 3:11 PM on January 14, 2019

From Twiter as well:

A Brief History of Philosophy
1. Socrates deletes his account.
2. Plato posts screenshots of Socrates.
3. Aristotle unfollows Plato.
4. Aquinas retweets Jesus.
5. Descartes mutes Aquinas.
6. Locke mutes Descartes.
7. Kant unfollows Lock and Descartes.
8. Hegel subtweets Kant.
9. Schopenhauer blocks Hegel.
10. Marx likes Hegel.
11. Nietzsche gets hacked.
12. Heidegger DMs Arendt.
13. Adorno reports Heidegger.
14. Derrida gets verified.
15. Heidegger gets banned.
16. Wittgenstein only does instagram.

posted by vibratory manner of working at 12:17 PM on January 16, 2019 [1 favorite]

People really don't spend enough time talking about the fact that we refer to Plato exclusively by his wrestling name.
posted by moss at 7:05 PM on January 16, 2019