I Can't Make a Better Title than "Pharaoh-noid"
April 21, 2019 10:36 AM   Subscribe

Tom Saw Ya is a Christian parody of "Tom Sawyer" written and performed by Rush. Want more biblically rewritten rockers? No One Likes YouGod's ZealotHit Me With Your SlingshotBroke A Loaf of BreadPharaoh-noid – well, honestly, there's really quite an awful lot more if you're inclined; these guys have been working tirelessly for a long time.
posted by Wolfdog (14 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Is there anything more metal than the old testament?
posted by Redhush at 10:44 AM on April 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


No.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:44 AM on April 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


Want more biblically rewritten rockers?

I'm good but thanks!

We're a Judaica band
We're a Judaica band
We'll come into your shtetl
We're gonna play some metal

posted by thelonius at 11:25 AM on April 21, 2019 [10 favorites]


Is there anything more metal than the old testament?

The Book of Revelation
posted by Reyturner at 12:28 PM on April 21, 2019 [3 favorites]




Ozzy voice:
Can you help me?
I've got five more plagues!
Oh, yeeeah ~ guitar solo

OK, I lol'd and added it to the Heavy Metal Haggadah.
posted by bartleby at 2:03 PM on April 21, 2019


a plague of GAWD AWFUL
posted by a humble nudibranch at 2:43 PM on April 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


Can you help me? I've got five more plagues! Oh, yeeeah ~ guitar solo
They could have just done Creeping Death and not bothered with new lyrics (but then, that's a lot of very fast downpicking, so, a trade-off, I suppose.)
posted by Wolfdog at 2:52 PM on April 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


There are those who think that YouTube recommendations
Are gamed by algorithms that are programmed by psychopaths
A company of playthings, they vest in their stocks
Of values that we can not conceive
Each of them, had to take an interview test
Where they balanced a binary tree
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:25 PM on April 21, 2019 [6 favorites]


Will there be a New Zealand for atheists?
posted by bonobothegreat at 6:15 PM on April 21, 2019


The major theme park complexes in Orlando had/have a Contemporary Christian Music weekend. This is generally considered the worst weekend to work at the parks. Lots of Christians doing non-Christian things.

Long time employees regularly talk about how their worst experience getting cussed out by drunk adults is during this festival. Add to that a lot of kids raised super religious and probably home school who are allowed to run free for several hours without their authority figures telling them what to do. Security busts more kids going at in the bushes and dark corners of the park than any other time of the year, including the grad nights. These kids are always surprised that security seems to know where all of these locations are even though security sweeps the park daily at closing.

The music isn't bad if you don't look too hard into it. The biggest issue is that each band seems required that testify about their love of God in the middle of their sets. One band had a messed up lyric to a song that was "We don't hate fags." IT was meant to make them seem more open and welcoming, but used a slur that is nearly guaranteed to insult the audience the line is targeted at.

Oh yeah, the sing along lyrics projected on the screens next to the stage are something I only see there... and at church services.

Most of the people who attend are fine, but the very small super self-righteous minority tend to ruin it for everyone who is there to work.
posted by Badgermann at 6:48 AM on April 22, 2019


Have they discovered "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" yet? They don't even have to change the words to make that a hymn.

Meanwhile, "Bark At The Moon" can be Christian-ed right up by only changing a few lines

Years spent in torment
Buried in a nameless grave
Now he has risen
Miracles would have to save
Those that the beast is looking for
Listen in awe and you'll hear him
Worship the Lord
posted by octobersurprise at 8:52 AM on April 22, 2019


The music isn't bad if you don't look too hard into it.

I have accidentally heard some when approaching Atlanta (there are Christian stations there on the lower part of the FM dial now, which seems deeply wrong to my 80's-formed sensibilities, but it is what is is). It seems like they have basically perfected a formula of imitating whatever bands are popular, but grafting Christian lyrics on top. It was really very well-done, prety strong songs, good vocalists, good production.
posted by thelonius at 9:55 AM on April 22, 2019


Is that Desmond in the Tom Saw Ya video?!
posted by rhiannonstone at 8:49 PM on April 26, 2019


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