"So that's what redneck Versailles would look like."

January 3, 2020 1:23 PM

As one of the first "experts" lifted up to megastardom by Oprah, Dr. Phil McGraw has lived a lavish life, complete with his family trust owning a portfolio of properties. Recently, one of those properties - a mansion in LA occupied by his son Jordan - has come on the market, with an interior that has to be seen to be believed. (SLLA Times)

Needless to say, Twitter has had a field day with the story, with Bobby Berk of Queer Eye and Kate Wagner of McMansionHell having short, stunned reactions.

posted by NoxAeternum (99 comments total)

i think of dave chappelle's rick james a lot whenever i see the homes rich people actually live in: "they should have never have given you [redacted] money!"

(also, "fuck yo couch.")
posted by entropicamericana at 1:26 PM on January 3, 2020 [12 favorites]

Tasteless. Tacky. Gaudy. Hideous.

And the house sucks, too.
posted by tclark at 1:27 PM on January 3, 2020 [16 favorites]

Like the Hammacher Schlemmer (sp?) catalog fulfilled.

The whole LAT real estate section seems to be hateread-ready. I’ve seen a few estates that I thought were using their extravagant capacities to do something artistic or naturalistic that would be impossible with less control - but they don’t get talked about as much. Or sold as often, I hope.
posted by clew at 1:30 PM on January 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

fucking realtor HDR photos. this all looks VERY shopped.
posted by lalochezia at 1:31 PM on January 3, 2020 [9 favorites]

You can't buy taste.
posted by GuyZero at 1:32 PM on January 3, 2020 [7 favorites]

Also I feel like there's a weird investment angle to high-end LA real estate - people seem to buy places completely furnished, maybe never live in them at all (like this place) and end up selling a few years later for a non-insubstantial profit. This is less a place to put people than it is a place to put money.
posted by GuyZero at 1:34 PM on January 3, 2020 [5 favorites]

"Hey, check out my feature wall. Of weapons."
posted by billsaysthis at 1:36 PM on January 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

This isn't just horrible, it's delightfully horrible. I appreciate that someone had personal preferences that were far outside the boundaries of common taste and decided to just do what they liked anyway.

Thanks, I hate it!
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 1:36 PM on January 3, 2020 [66 favorites]

I like the exterior a lot, but none of the interior looks particularly livable to me. It's not just garish and tacky, it just looks cold and uncomfortable. More like a house you want to show off rather than live in.

The entryway looks okay. Not my taste, but it works. The living room is a nightmare. The family room... well, I like the idea of the couch, but not the implementation. The dining room is straight up ugly. The master bedroom is, surprisingly, not that bad. I don't like the color and I don't know what the hell is going on with that desk in the corner, but other than that...
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 1:36 PM on January 3, 2020

So what happens to a place like this when it's sold? Is it just assumed that the new owner is going to tear it down and replace this monstrosity with one more to their liking? I have never understood how these very expensive, custom-built madhouses ever get sold unless it's just for the land.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:39 PM on January 3, 2020

McGraw fils was also in a rock band. They sound a little like the house looks.

Also, more vinyl-toy-looking sculptures than I was anticipating, which leads me to think that they're from the Jordan McGraw collection.
posted by box at 1:39 PM on January 3, 2020 [3 favorites]

Ah, Mr. Bond, I've been expecting you. Welcome to my secret lair. How fortuitous! You've arrived just in time to see my plans for global domination come to fruition.
posted by Naberius at 1:50 PM on January 3, 2020 [20 favorites]

C'est vraiment dégueulasse.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:51 PM on January 3, 2020 [9 favorites]

And all of that craaaaaap is jammed onto just a half-acre, too.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:53 PM on January 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

So apparently his interior designer was a quack, too.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:55 PM on January 3, 2020 [34 favorites]

I've been fixing up some stuff in my terrible old house and looking at a lot of online decor stuff to help with choosing paint colors, etc.

So - and this perhaps just reveals that I don't have a lot of money and don't expect ever to have a lot of money - most of the houses, whether gauche or fashionable, look like hotels to me. It looks like people just...went out and bought a bunch of brand new stuff and dropped it in a room, and it looks weird, unlike any room in any house I've ever spent a lot of time in. It looks weird to me when a house is fully furnished and everything is new and nothing is personal and everything matches.
posted by Frowner at 1:55 PM on January 3, 2020 [58 favorites]

I read elsewhere that the wall of guns is a anti-guns art installation and the guns aren't functional and possible from a weapons buy back program.
posted by ShakeyJake at 1:55 PM on January 3, 2020 [6 favorites]

You can't buy taste.

The weird thing is that you can. If you have this kind of money you can afford top designers and interior decorators.
posted by the legendary esquilax at 1:56 PM on January 3, 2020 [23 favorites]

That's provided you have enough taste to defer to designers who have an idea of what they are doing.
posted by Ferreous at 1:58 PM on January 3, 2020 [14 favorites]

Aside from the gun display, it doesn't so much scream "redneck" to me. It's more like it was designed by an AI trained by photos of the most extra home tours from Apartment Therapy about, say, 10 years ago, and then programmed to take it to 500%. There are a lot of individual things in there that would be kinda cool (I admit I like the plexiglass animals and the bonkers chandelier, not to mention the purple couch if there were a lot less of it) but all together it's just way too much.
posted by lunasol at 1:58 PM on January 3, 2020 [30 favorites]

Metafilter: programmed to take it to 500%
posted by the_blizz at 2:09 PM on January 3, 2020 [11 favorites]

It's grotesque, but I'm kind of fascinated by the imagination of whoever designed this. How did they come up with it all?
posted by mumimor at 2:16 PM on January 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

I would love to live there. It's amazing.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:16 PM on January 3, 2020 [7 favorites]

The chandelier in and of itself, or the bannister on its own would actually be pretty fun as highlights of the room. But they're otherwise lost in the migraine aura of the cumulative decor.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:18 PM on January 3, 2020 [20 favorites]

Meanwhile, a homeless or otherwise impoverished person at DC Union Station drew my portrait in charcoal while I was waiting for a train last week, and before I'd realized he was doing it he offered it to me in exchange for a couple of McDonald's bacon cheeseburgers and some fries for him and his wife. It's surprisingly good, and I wish I could have afforded to give him a fair price for it. (Surprising due to the choice of subject, not the artist.)

So you can't buy taste, but you can't eat it, either.
posted by biogeo at 2:18 PM on January 3, 2020 [13 favorites]

These look like pictures of the set for a sequel to Annihilation.
posted by Kattullus at 2:19 PM on January 3, 2020 [17 favorites]

I feel less strange about my shelf of Funko Pops now, that's for sure.
posted by kimberussell at 2:21 PM on January 3, 2020 [14 favorites]

You know, he can put up that Wall O' Weapons in the dining room but he still won't fix the Matrix.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 2:27 PM on January 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

If you keep looking at it, it keeps getting weirder. What are those lips?

Sometimes I just don't know what goes on in other people's heads. I think of a million dollars as "pajamas forever" money not "Beetlejuice House" money.
posted by Horkus at 2:28 PM on January 3, 2020 [26 favorites]

I fucking love it too. Switch the wall o’guns out for stormtrooper blasters and I’m ready to put in an offer.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 2:32 PM on January 3, 2020 [7 favorites]

From twitter @ToLey88 Famous people who trade on their red-state folksiness almost always live like perverted sci-fi antagonists.

...I could live with the banister, though, and go full-on Lothlorien with it.
posted by grandiloquiet at 2:34 PM on January 3, 2020 [26 favorites]

Also, fuck Dr. Phil, and every inequity in this awful world, but damn that is a remarkable home.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 2:34 PM on January 3, 2020 [5 favorites]

I would love to live there. It's amazing. - The corpse in the library

Honestly from what I can tell you'd fit right in.
posted by kate blank at 2:36 PM on January 3, 2020 [39 favorites]

Is that balustrade from Game of Thrones or Muffler Man.
posted by clavdivs at 2:42 PM on January 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

I do appreciate Selina Kyle's "Hello There" neon.

Does anyone know the Darth/Stormtrooper poster reference? It looks like it has to be a mashup, and the source looks like a familiar movie poster, but I can't place it.
posted by team lowkey at 2:43 PM on January 3, 2020 [3 favorites]

Kinda reminiscent of Constantine's mansion in Thief. Just keeps getting weirder the deeper in you go.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 2:46 PM on January 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

I hate those fucking Be@rbricks so goddamn much.
posted by Small Dollar at 2:48 PM on January 3, 2020 [8 favorites]

This sense of everything-louder-than-everything-else decor is it limited to the 1% and their offspring. A family friend makes a comfortable living but is far from ultra-wealthy. She does enjoy, let us say, a rich mixture of patterns and textures. Her interior decorating taste would extend to this if she were. I stood in her living room once, looked around, and thought that this was one of the few living spaces I have seen where you could misplace several accordions.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:54 PM on January 3, 2020 [66 favorites]

Metafilter: One of the few living spaces I have seen where you could misplace several accordions.
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:56 PM on January 3, 2020 [29 favorites]

My impression of the decor is that it was done by an art school friend of the son's who demanded to get paid in K2.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:57 PM on January 3, 2020 [5 favorites]

Have you seen the thing on the wall in the entryway that just says "FUCK"
posted by anazgnos at 2:57 PM on January 3, 2020 [13 favorites]

I like it. It has personality. /shrugs it's a little much but at least it's not bland.

I also think the staircase is super rad.
posted by vespertinism at 3:07 PM on January 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

This is way more contemporary than I was expecting. It's an odd mixture of modern art x that cheap-ass, faux baroque look rich people love.

I love the giant lilac couch and the pool. That wall of guns is gross, though, and is a super weird contrast to the smorkin labbits and dunny figures.
posted by Feminazgul at 3:22 PM on January 3, 2020

McGraw fils was also in a rock band yt . They sound a little like the house looks.

The article says the house was remodelled since it was purchased by the McGraw family trust, but that Dr. Phil never lived in it, and that is occupied by his son Jordan, so I think Dr. Phil is in the clear here regarding his taste, though he may not be on his parenting skills.

How is it that I can make a place look far more attractive, practical, and comfortable when I do the renovations myself on a shoestring budget in a modest-sized place using thrift shop purchases, pieces of furniture found on the curb, and homemade items, then some people can using professional decorators and tradespeople and an extravagant budget? Wealth is wasted on some people. I remain convinced it would not be wasted on me.
posted by orange swan at 3:24 PM on January 3, 2020 [19 favorites]

Does anyone know the Darth/Stormtrooper poster reference? It looks like it has to be a mashup, and the source looks like a familiar movie poster, but I can't place it.

Might be Pulp Fiction?
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:33 PM on January 3, 2020

There looks like a lot of Batman memorabilia in there. I think I spied a Keaton cowl.
posted by sleeping bear at 3:37 PM on January 3, 2020

cash me outside, how bout that?
posted by pyramid termite at 3:45 PM on January 3, 2020 [6 favorites]

the thing about decorating is knowing when to fucking stop
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:47 PM on January 3, 2020 [9 favorites]

i just want to pop in to say, please absolutely continue roasting this house

it nourishes me, as a plant is nourished by sunlight
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:52 PM on January 3, 2020 [19 favorites]

Re wall-o-guns: so is this where guests are handed a weapon to DIY their own dinner?
posted by oceano at 4:44 PM on January 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

I'll never understand the type of person who could afford to buy a beautiful home with sweeping views of the ocean or the mountains or the desert and instead they opt for that??
posted by Atom Eyes at 4:57 PM on January 3, 2020 [5 favorites]

There's a longread essay on Minimalism up on the Guardian today. A good chunk of it is that people are into minimalism right now because most of them are too poor or transient to be able to afford to have nice things anyway so making it fashionable turns that into a positive.

If you're Dr. Phil and you suddenly realize that your house is a bit too intense you can easily redecorate the place, but that's harder to do for people who have to budget for things. My wife and I will always disagree about home furnishings. She wants as neutral colours as possible while I want something more vibrant. Her argument is usually "but what if we get bored of it?" and my reply is always "but I'm already bored of this one" but maybe I should change it to "we can always get a new one then" or more realistically "it'll get destroyed before we get bored of it".
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 4:57 PM on January 3, 2020 [6 favorites]

If all the Fast and Furious movies were one house this would be it.

I also love the stairway / bannister. Sue me.
posted by fshgrl at 5:09 PM on January 3, 2020 [6 favorites]

I am far from the most minimalist person in the world, but the combination of cold colors and how everything looks clinically clean combined with how there's just way too much going on with shapes and color combinations and stuff is making me all twitchy.
posted by soundguy99 at 5:48 PM on January 3, 2020 [5 favorites]

Dibs on the purple hanging egg chair!!! Burn the rest to the ground. Actually cluttered somewhat tacky rooms that grew that way over years of living have an family-archaeological-ish charm, less if done by a "decorator"
posted by sammyo at 7:00 PM on January 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

I've been there. There's a testicle still lodged in the handrail from a drunk guest who slid down in '06.
posted by dobbs at 7:04 PM on January 3, 2020 [11 favorites]

There's a testicle still lodged in the handrail

There's a testicle still lodged in the handrail

There's a testicle still lodged in the handrail

I... it's just that...

fuck. That's a story that's now in my brain, and on metafilter. Why would you say that.
posted by mrgoat at 7:15 PM on January 3, 2020 [5 favorites]

I've been there. There's a testicle still lodged in the handrail from a drunk guest who slid down in '06.

"How was the party?"

"Oh man. This dude totally got railed."

"Lots of drinking, eh?"

"Well, yeah. But that's not what I mean..."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:23 PM on January 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

If all the Fast and Furious movies were one house this would be it.

There has to be a computer screen with "Warning: Danger to Manifold" blinking non-stop somewhere within that monstrosity.
posted by bawanaal at 7:36 PM on January 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

That this is what the rich do with money, sure says something about the rich.
posted by Verg at 7:38 PM on January 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

That's provided you have enough taste to defer to designers who have an idea of what they are doing.

And thus what I have been told is the interior decorator's prayer, although I don't know where it is from: That people with money will get taste, and people with taste will get money.
posted by ALeaflikeStructure at 7:54 PM on January 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

features a wall of guns — which the family representative said is actually an “anti-gun art installation.”

It looks like a gun-rabid NRA member's wet dream, which is 100% the opposite of what you want to present if it is truly intended as an anti-gun art installation. Fail.
posted by eye of newt at 7:57 PM on January 3, 2020 [7 favorites]

My eyes don't know where to rest. This makes me anxious and my head aches. How does anyone live with this in front of their eyeballs all the time?
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 8:53 PM on January 3, 2020 [3 favorites]

As someone who owns a house that's too small for a couch, the idea of one big enough to host a slumber party on is the dream.
posted by LindsayIrene at 8:55 PM on January 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

In the movie "Pillow Talk", Rock Hudson is loathed by interior designer Doris Day, and when Rock Hudson hires Doris Day to decorate his apartment, it ends up something like this house. So, maybe the interior designer really hated Dr. Phil.
posted by ShooBoo at 9:01 PM on January 3, 2020 [6 favorites]

Here's an in-depth interview with Jordan McGraw about his house, which includes a photo of what is indeed a full-size replica of the fountain from The Nightmare Before Christmas in his backyard.

And includes the quote, "The whole place, the idea is kind of Tim Burton threw up on a canvas and it turned into a house."
posted by hapticactionnetwork at 9:19 PM on January 3, 2020 [8 favorites]

I really really love it.
posted by bendy at 9:43 PM on January 3, 2020

I'm not comfortable with the same person owning both that many automatic weapons and that many weird doll statues.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:56 PM on January 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

Orange swan your decoupage dressers are stunning!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:22 PM on January 3, 2020 [6 favorites]

There are individual bits that, if they were the sole "ooh look at that" thing in a room or space, I think could be great, but if *everything* is a statement piece, then *nothing* is a statement piece.

Not sold on the "anti-gun" explanation for that wall, either.
posted by tzikeh at 10:31 PM on January 3, 2020 [6 favorites]

It's an odd mixture of modern art x that cheap-ass, faux baroque look rich people love

Yeah most of the interior trim looks like a standard-issue modern day mansion, which is probably what it looked like when Mr. Phil bought it, then crossed with what looks like the tastes of a guy in their mid 20s who has family money.
posted by MillMan at 10:35 PM on January 3, 2020

Here's an in-depth interview with Jordan McGraw about his house, which includes a photo of what is indeed a full-size replica of the fountain from The Nightmare Before Christmas in his backyard.

It looks really different and more coherent there when he lived in it. I think the sales photos are an unfortunate result of hiring someone to make it look less goth but not giving them enough budget for 6000sq ft (!)
posted by fshgrl at 11:29 PM on January 3, 2020 [8 favorites]

It has a wonkiness that I find appealing. The great hall with chandelier and railing is beautiful. And I love the pop culture pieces because I’m rather a fan of Frank Kozik’s Labbits.
posted by lemon_icing at 11:29 PM on January 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

It's... not as bad as I expected. There's too much of Everything, yeah, but it's got a coherent style and personality. Furniture placement is probably staged, as is removal of the things that would make it look lived-in, but I'd take it anytime over Mar-A-Lago/Vegas kind of tacky that's badly copying random features of a dozen palaces.

(Full disclosure: I may have crystal chandeliers and baroque wallpaper in my condo hallway because what is adulthood good for if not a little theatrical decor?)
posted by I claim sanctuary at 3:36 AM on January 4, 2020 [5 favorites]

You just know that every object in that house has a story that starts with "so I was wasted at 3am and screwing around on eBay..."
posted by thatwhichfalls at 6:02 AM on January 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

I feel like someone should ask "And how that house is working for them?"
posted by srboisvert at 7:06 AM on January 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Bet he uses Farrow and Ball.
posted by Catblack at 7:41 AM on January 4, 2020

It looks really different and more coherent there when he lived in it. I think the sales photos are an unfortunate result of hiring someone to make it look less goth but not giving them enough budget for 6000sq ft (!)

You're right! It looks like they just tried to de-goth it by painting a lot of the black and red things blue. And that...just made everything look like an ugly hotel lobby in Las Vegas. I'd like everyone to keep dunking on rich people for my amusement, please, but it was honestly better as a goth house.
posted by grandiloquiet at 8:09 AM on January 4, 2020 [5 favorites]

Don't be sad, grandiloquiet; you can dunk on Dr. Phil's own house here! My favorite is the dining room (scroll down to where the writer says, "it oozes the class and sophistication that Dr. Phil’s wife portrays on a daily basis.")

You know you've arrived when somebody on a sports website writes about the ooziness of your decorating skill.

be sure to continue scrolling down to see the xmas decorations. The writer says "As she posed for this snap, we could see that Robin was sitting on an intricate spiral staircase that wounds its way up to the upper level of their incredible home," and again, I have to agree: "wounds" is just the right word here.
posted by taz at 10:24 AM on January 4, 2020 [4 favorites]

It's like a cross between a tech office and a 90's art student dorm room. I was expecting worse to be honest, if he had turned the loudness dial down from 11 to like a 7 I think it would be mostly fine. His taste in art is less terrible than most rich people, he just surrounded it with velour goth couches.

And like someone said a few comments up, I'd take this over the rich people simulacra of Mar-a-lago or whatever.
posted by bradbane at 10:56 AM on January 4, 2020

Don't be sad, grandiloquiet; you can dunk on Dr. Phil's own house here! My favorite is the dining room (scroll down to where the writer says, "it oozes the class and sophistication that Dr. Phil’s wife portrays on a daily basis.")

Yeeugh, yes, I greatly prefer the goth house to a fake Tuscan hellscape with a hall of mirrors inexplicably crammed in one room.

100% honesty, I think the "reindeer herd humping a banister" Christmas decorations are great. Maybe the Dr Phils are just good at stairs.
posted by grandiloquiet at 11:08 AM on January 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

I work as a real estate photographer and, currently, live for this kind of shit. I would be stoked to shoot this house as staged.

And, I've seen much, MUCH weirder than this....
posted by wats at 11:24 AM on January 4, 2020 [6 favorites]

And, I've seen much, MUCH weirder than this....

we need links to pics, wats.
posted by valkane at 11:42 AM on January 4, 2020 [3 favorites]

It's the room with the pool table that's got me. What is that white stuff on the floor by the table legs?? (And why??) And are those plastic statues of something---mice?--in the background supposed to look like giant Pez dispensers?
posted by rpfields at 11:52 AM on January 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

What the actual hell. This home is the most bizarre mashup of gaudy-surreal-baroque and hyper modern pop art. That said, I would much rather see a house that has been personalized to to the max, taste and trends be damned, than yet another sterile safe home designed for resale. People should be free to express their preferred aesthetic, and bravo to anyone who commits to that in this extreme. Normal is boring!
posted by exquisite_deluxe at 2:16 PM on January 4, 2020 [4 favorites]

The article hapticactionnetwork linked to (Daily Mail) does show a much more coherent aesthetic. Not exactly that of the 28 year old blowing out the family money -- not only does he say that Tim Burton is the inspiration, but that the actual decoration was done by telling an (unnamed) firm this and then leaving for a tour while they did everything.

I'm not liking the reference to `redneck', the more I see it. I don't think it's coming from someone who identifies as a redneck or ex-redneck, and that makes it a bad precedent, but I think it's just ludicrously wrong -- Dr Phil isn't a redneck AFAICT and his son growing up in LA luxury would be farther from it even if Dr Phil was.
posted by clew at 2:20 PM on January 4, 2020 [8 favorites]

Yeah, speaking as someone who was surrounded by that term in my past, being familiar with it both as a slur and a term of pride — redneck is hilariously inaccurate.
posted by MysticMCJ at 2:54 PM on January 4, 2020 [12 favorites]

OK, the Tim Burton things helped me remember what else it reminded me of: the Maitlands' house in Beetlejuice after Lydia's mom and her designer friend got done with it.
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:03 PM on January 4, 2020

Yeah, this isn't redneck at all. It's surreal, I'll give it that. I too love the banister and would absolutely own it.

I was writing earlier, and just now refreshed to see other people got there first: This is the result of someone trying to "stage" the house for sale. I have done some fairly weird things in my house, and have a ridiculous amount of art that would offend most of the buying demographic in this area. We've talked about how we would have to move, and hire a staging company before we could list the house.

I'm willing to bet even money that's what happened to this listing, and they hired the wrong staging company, or the realtors, gods forbid, tried to do it themselves. They should have played up the goth and surreal aesthetic.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 5:50 PM on January 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

I come from redneck. This ain't redneck. This isn't even a thousand miles close to redneck. This isn't even in the same universe as redneck.

As others have mentioned, that stair railing is pretty cool. And that one couch is larger than a few apartments I've lived in. Looks comfortable, though.
posted by ralan at 6:36 PM on January 4, 2020 [5 favorites]

...I kind of like the fountain
posted by littlesq at 6:41 PM on January 4, 2020 [2 favorites]

I adore the fountain.
posted by fshgrl at 8:18 PM on January 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Other than the guns, which may be buyback as stated above, I really don't have issue with it. People have their own tastes, I have mine. Some folks love my house and some folks certainly don't. Quirky big toys in the dining room don't bother me, I've seen it and it can work, or not, but frankly it's not horrible. The size and cost of the house are pretty small given the zip code.
posted by waving at 8:18 PM on January 4, 2020 [2 favorites]

You know you've arrived when somebody on a sports website writes about the ooziness of your decorating skill.

be sure to continue scrolling down to see the xmas decorations. The writer says "As she posed for this snap, we could see that Robin was sitting on an intricate spiral staircase that wounds its way up to the upper level of their incredible home," and again, I have to agree: "wounds" is just the right word here.

Thats not a real sports website. Its one of those sites where non english speakers are paid a couple dollars per article to rehash existing stories or twitter threads as click bait. The wonky english and weird attitudes towards culture and a few repeated catchphrases are dead giveaways
posted by fshgrl at 8:22 PM on January 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

What is that white stuff on the floor by the table legs

billiard cum

but yea, the place looks a million times better as a black-wallpapered goth palace than whatever the hell they did to it to make it look bright and airy.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:46 PM on January 4, 2020 [4 favorites]

I sort of like the branches on the staircase - if it was half as dense and none hanging off the edge.
posted by soelo at 9:43 AM on January 5, 2020 [2 favorites]

The plastic pop art ish statues don’t work for me, but I do like the way that re-coloring the neo-Victorian-neo-Gothic shapes goes from a familiar Halloween aesthetic to a familiar Alice-in-Wonderland one.

Now I’m imagining fancy paint and lighting that can switch the same objects from red-and-black to gold-and-white-and-blue on demand. Heck, go through bronze-and-brown and you get a steampunk set too.
posted by clew at 3:03 PM on January 6, 2020

The rich man's Groverhaus.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 7:17 AM on January 7, 2020

I love it. I would pick this person to date if ibwas a contestant on MTV Room Raiders because at least they have some individuality on what they want to surround themselves with and their place doesnt look like a catalog just because thats the look being pushed as "sleek" or "sophisticated" or "airy" or whatever dumb buzzwords for desirable are floating around. This looks like someones personal sanctuary which is what a home should be.
posted by WeekendJen at 10:53 AM on January 19, 2020 [1 favorite]