If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?

March 2, 2020 11:06 AM

James Lipton, ‘Inside the Actors Studio’ Host, Dies at 93
posted by KTamas (61 comments total)

Stupid 72-character title limit, couldn't fit the question in its entirety in there. In any case, I loved Inside... and particularly the one with Dave Chapelle remains legendary.

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posted by KTamas at 11:07 AM on March 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

A truly remarkable and unusual life Lipton led.

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posted by tclark at 11:09 AM on March 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

Oh gosh.
posted by Kitchen Witch at 11:10 AM on March 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

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posted by me3dia at 11:14 AM on March 2, 2020

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posted by ZeusHumms at 11:16 AM on March 2, 2020

"You see, Jim? You were wrong. I exist. But you may come in anyway."

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posted by Zedcaster at 11:19 AM on March 2, 2020 [8 favorites]

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posted by seasparrow at 11:21 AM on March 2, 2020

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posted by /\/\/\/ at 11:22 AM on March 2, 2020

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posted by dismas at 11:25 AM on March 2, 2020

Just the other day I was reminded of his book An Exaltation of Larks when the leader of a bird trip I went on was grilling us on the collective names for groups of animals and birds. Ever since I read it, I’ve enjoyed the mental game of minting my own. Count me in the cortège of mourners for him. .
posted by oomny at 11:26 AM on March 2, 2020 [7 favorites]

what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?

"Get in, loser!"
posted by thelonius at 11:26 AM on March 2, 2020 [8 favorites]

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posted by sallybrown at 11:27 AM on March 2, 2020

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And also:

> If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?

"Howdy and welcome to heaven! Time traveling tours are to your left, black hole rides are to your right, secrets of the universe are straight ahead, and James Lipton is currently noshing some, pardon the pun, heavenly bagels in the cafeteria and he would be delighted to spend some quality time with you!"
posted by Godspeed.You!Black.Emperor.Penguin at 11:27 AM on March 2, 2020 [8 favorites]

"There's only one man I've ever called a coward and that's Brian Doyle-Murray."

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posted by jozxyqk at 11:30 AM on March 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

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posted by Coaticass at 11:32 AM on March 2, 2020

Welcome to the Good Place. Everything is fine.
posted by freecellwizard at 11:38 AM on March 2, 2020 [13 favorites]

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posted by my-username at 11:39 AM on March 2, 2020

"You used to trade soup recipes with Kurt Russell on the set, tell me about that."

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posted by Chrysostom at 11:41 AM on March 2, 2020 [8 favorites]

Will Ferrell always irritated/es the hell out of me. The one exception is when he played James Lipton on SNL.

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posted by Melismata at 11:44 AM on March 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

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posted by mstokes650 at 12:19 PM on March 2, 2020

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posted by nikaspark at 12:37 PM on March 2, 2020

"The thesis of this book can be summed up very simply: when a group of ravens flaps by, you should, if you want to refer to their presence, say, 'There goes an unkindness of ravens.' Anything else would be wrong"

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posted by zachlipton at 12:40 PM on March 2, 2020

Also, that time he went on the Ali G Show and managed to be one of the few interview guests on that show to not come out looking like a complete idiot.
posted by zachlipton at 12:47 PM on March 2, 2020 [11 favorites]

The thing about James Lipton:

A lot of people imagine him as the Will Ferrell caricature: Glasses, balding older man, very deliberate verbal delivery, TERRIBLY IMPRESSED with the craft of acting (and if one is feeling uncharitable, hints of Jon Lovitz Master Thespian in that delivery).

Not impressive or sexy or cool, right?

But here's the thing. JL has been an actor, a producer, been to CHINA at a time when that was a thing uncommon, been a licensed tout for a Parisian prostitute, hung out with Macedonian shepherds, studied ballet (and shagged HELLA ballerinas as one of the few straight men in a room full of ludicrously fit young women in skintight leotards).

He's written Broadway plays. He's not flashy, he's just the kinda guy who can, in fact, bust a pirouette if need be. He's produced for Bob Hope as well as Jimmy Carter. He speaks knowledgeably with some of the best actors in the English language about the subject in an acting school he helped found, and he does beer-bongs & reads horny manatee poetry on Conan O'Brien. He's urbane, cultured, mannered, and "Fuck you, Mickey" rolls off his tongue when and with whom its absolutely appropriate without sounding forced or language he's unaccustomed to.

He's the heir to Bernard Pivot's questionnaire (and in fact one of the best interviewers out there) and hangs out with Dave Chappelle. He's done 15 min of stand-up buck naked from his shower on the cellphone when Dave called him from the stage. I don't know if he smokes weed or not, but it doesn't matter. I know the joints he would roll if asked would be nice and even and smooth-drawing without bulky, unchopped sections, whether he chose to partake or not.

And he's been married to Miss Scarlet from the Clue game for decades.

James Lipton is that effortless kind of true Renaissance Man who if, in the middle of taping you saw him reach behind his chair, pull out a cutlass, and charge into the audience to drive off marauding ninjas, then walk back to his chair saying "Haven't had to do that for 20 years", it would not surprise me.

He may not be The Most Interesting Man In The World™, but here's the thing; James Lipton is real.

I'm just saying.

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posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 12:49 PM on March 2, 2020 [40 favorites]

The full questionnaire, btw:

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
3. What turns you on?
4. What turns you off?
5. What sound or noise do you love?
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
7. What is your favorite curse word?
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. What profession would you not like to do?
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

He credited the origin of the questions to Bernard Pivot, a French TV host who in turn claimed inspiration from Proust.
posted by mstokes650 at 12:53 PM on March 2, 2020 [10 favorites]

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The correct answer, btw, is “yes, all those dogs are here.”
posted by praemunire at 1:30 PM on March 2, 2020 [10 favorites]

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posted by annieb at 1:47 PM on March 2, 2020

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posted by valkane at 1:54 PM on March 2, 2020

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posted by solotoro at 1:54 PM on March 2, 2020

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posted by double bubble at 2:00 PM on March 2, 2020

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posted by pearlybob at 2:12 PM on March 2, 2020

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posted by MythMaker at 2:33 PM on March 2, 2020

"You stupid monkeys. I put you on a rich biologically diverse planet along with enough kinds of life to take with you and fill all the barren worlds I created that are out in the universe waiting for you. And what did you do with all my beloved whales, beetles and plankton that I intended to go with you? You ate or burned them all. Go to hell."
posted by hank at 2:52 PM on March 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?


Welcome to Fuckdome, Abehammerb.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:57 PM on March 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

I'm not getting in, am I?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:58 PM on March 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

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posted by JoeXIII007 at 3:01 PM on March 2, 2020

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posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 3:02 PM on March 2, 2020

It would say.... "What the hell!?"..... If I showed up....
posted by mightshould at 3:11 PM on March 2, 2020

... so would I....
posted by mightshould at 3:19 PM on March 2, 2020

Wow. This is not something I thought I would get this emotional about, yet here we are.

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posted by tzikeh at 4:03 PM on March 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Hey there son, here are the keys -have some fun.
posted by The_Vegetables at 4:31 PM on March 2, 2020

“Could you wait here a minute, it’s getting a little crowded and I need to make some more room.”
posted by lowtide at 4:37 PM on March 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

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posted by Lyme Drop at 5:13 PM on March 2, 2020

Am I the only one who is astonished he was 93? I mean, yeah, Just for Men is a thing and it's been a couple years since he was a regular TV presence, but damn...

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posted by Slarty Bartfast at 5:27 PM on March 2, 2020

Interestingly, the first episode of the show I ever saw had Billy Joel as the guest. That Lipton interviewed a musician who shifted back and forth from his seat across from Lipton to a piano to play something to make his point was a lot of fun.

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posted by Fukiyama at 6:16 PM on March 2, 2020

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posted by shiny blue object at 6:17 PM on March 2, 2020

Revisiting James Lipton's scrumtrulescent impact on pop culture, with several parodies and tributes.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:58 PM on March 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?

I'm really fucking sorry.
posted by juiceCake at 9:05 PM on March 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

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posted by filtergik at 4:40 AM on March 3, 2020

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posted by camyram at 5:48 AM on March 3, 2020

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posted by Cash4Lead at 5:50 AM on March 3, 2020

Earth! Am I right?
posted by zzupdown at 7:59 AM on March 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

This makes me very sad. I only knew him from Actor's Studio, but I thought he was wonderful.
posted by SLC Mom at 8:32 AM on March 3, 2020

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posted by pseudophile at 8:38 AM on March 3, 2020

The Big Question
posted by cenoxo at 1:54 PM on March 3, 2020

I'd always have preferred to just have him and the interviewee, and lose the audience of whooping irritants.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 10:44 PM on March 3, 2020

Fuck.
(My favorite curse word. RIP James Lipton.)
posted by prepmonkey at 6:59 AM on March 4, 2020

I'd always have preferred to just have him and the interviewee, and lose the audience of whooping irritants.

I hear ya, GallonofAlan. There’s something very much to be said for an perceptive interviewer talking to an interesting person with just a black background. There’s a certain conversational tone one gets without the stage.

OTOH, those whooping, irritating acting, directing, etc students where were the whole purpose for the exercise. Our favorite interview show was always a graduate school seminar first. It became a cultural icon on the side. That fact has always been a strange part of the attraction to me.

Every time I watch a show (and I think I’ve seen almost all of them), I never forget that he’s the dean of the acting school, talking to an actor, a part of a seminar for acting students. It would be... a different show without the Dean addressing is students. Not bad, but different.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 7:44 AM on March 4, 2020 [4 favorites]

"What could I have improved upon?"
posted by BostonTerrier at 1:43 PM on March 5, 2020

Well done my good and faithful servant
posted by erny23 at 7:04 AM on March 9, 2020

Wait, I just read that Brad Cooper was the first guest who had been a student? My world is shook, I thought that was the whole idea.
posted by rhizome at 10:20 AM on March 9, 2020