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Freddy vs. Jason.
August 5, 2002 8:02 AM   Subscribe

Freddy vs. Jason. Batman vs. Superman. It seems Hollywood is done mining lame cartoons for movie fodder and has moved on to pitting tired franchises against each other. What's next? Hercule Poirot vs. Indiana Jones? (Actually, that'd be good.) Personally, I'd like to see Bugs Bunny vs. Sauron. We know who'd win that battle. What movie battles would you like to see?
posted by billder (146 comments total)

 
At the risk of sounding like a fanboy here, Batman vs. Superman would be incredible if it would be done correctly. Which it won't be. ZAPF. POW.
posted by ColdChef at 8:06 AM on August 5, 2002


Uhhhh, hate to burst that bubble of yours, but Jason -vs- Freddy has been in the works for at least 5 years... Production has been stalled for a long time.
posted by Dark Messiah at 8:07 AM on August 5, 2002


Scarface vs. Kaiser Soze.
posted by adampsyche at 8:09 AM on August 5, 2002


*pop*
posted by billder at 8:09 AM on August 5, 2002


Bill and Ted versus Wayne and Garth. To the death.
posted by ColdChef at 8:14 AM on August 5, 2002


Police Academy vs. Ski Patrol.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 8:19 AM on August 5, 2002


Jaws vs. Spy Kids
posted by Fabulon7 at 8:21 AM on August 5, 2002


I've always wanted to see the young, skinny Brando compete in a "Tap Off" against Gregory Hines and Christopher Walken. Possibly adjudicated by Charles Nelson Reilly or Rip Taylor. That or a Tom Cruise-Billy Barty knife fight (no longer possible unfortunately).
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:22 AM on August 5, 2002


Steve Irwin VS. Creature From the Black Lagoon
posted by mss at 8:24 AM on August 5, 2002


Artistic Vision versus Middle of the Road Marketability
posted by ColdChef at 8:26 AM on August 5, 2002


Miguel Cardoso vs Oscar Wilde
posted by Frasermoo at 8:27 AM on August 5, 2002


Buffy vs. Syd from Alias. Rowr!
posted by mkultra at 8:27 AM on August 5, 2002


I trust Bruce Timm and
Paul Dini to all my Batman
and Superman
needs, thank you very much.
posted by BartFargo at 8:28 AM on August 5, 2002


Sluggo vs Ziggy
posted by zoopraxiscope at 8:28 AM on August 5, 2002


All the kids in American Pie versus all the punk asses in The Breakfast Club.

Austin Powers versus Dirty Harry (if only to see Austin Powers die a slow, painful death).
posted by almostcool at 8:28 AM on August 5, 2002


Gandhi vs. Muhammad Ali.
posted by BlueTrain at 8:28 AM on August 5, 2002


pancakes vs. monkeys!
posted by amberglow at 8:29 AM on August 5, 2002


Roe vs. Wade.

Oh, I'm sorry - those are your options for crossing a river. My mistake.

Carry on with your movie discussion.
posted by yhbc at 8:30 AM on August 5, 2002


mss, that's great! (Welcome!)

Ruined Masterpiece vs The Inane Made Brilliant

oh, and:

Sex vs Violence
posted by Marquis at 8:30 AM on August 5, 2002


the bride with white hair vs. jimmy kimmel. to the death of course.
posted by t r a c y at 8:32 AM on August 5, 2002


Fat Bastard vs. Orson Welles vs. Marlon Brando vs. Melanie Griffith
posted by ColdChef at 8:33 AM on August 5, 2002


Herbie versus KITT
(someone please stop me)
posted by ColdChef at 8:33 AM on August 5, 2002


Spinal Tap vs. Britney Spears
posted by starvingartist at 8:34 AM on August 5, 2002


Vin Diesel versus Diesel truck
posted by ColdChef at 8:35 AM on August 5, 2002


Cool Runnings vs. The Harder They Come.
posted by adampsyche at 8:36 AM on August 5, 2002


I like this part.

* Slaps ColdChef *

"Eight is Enough" vs. "Different Strokes"
posted by yhbc at 8:37 AM on August 5, 2002


alien vs predator
posted by muckster at 8:37 AM on August 5, 2002


ColdChef: The Batman vs. Superman battle would be an open and shut case for one reason: Batman has no superpowers!

Superman - Superhuman strength, speed, x-ray vision, can fly unaided.

Batman - A slick car, gadgets, a cabin boyH^H^H^youthful ward sidekick.

Strip him of his "wonderful toys", and he's helpless.

< :end geek fanboy rant:>
posted by dr_dank at 8:37 AM on August 5, 2002


Men in Black vs. Jack Black
posted by billder at 8:38 AM on August 5, 2002


My boss versus Satan
posted by Frasermoo at 8:40 AM on August 5, 2002


Yo Yo Mama vs Yo Mama
posted by ao4047 at 8:43 AM on August 5, 2002


John Edward vs. Sonya the Pet Psychic
posted by catfood at 8:43 AM on August 5, 2002


(d'oh - I meant Yo Yo Ma)
posted by ao4047 at 8:44 AM on August 5, 2002


Superman versus Batman=Liberal versus Conservative
posted by ColdChef at 8:45 AM on August 5, 2002


Bea Arthur vs. Harvey Fierstein
posted by amberglow at 8:46 AM on August 5, 2002


gilligan vs. dobie gillis
posted by bliss322 at 8:48 AM on August 5, 2002


dr_dank: The Batman vs. Superman battle would be an open and shut case for one reason: Batman has no superpowers!

Cue dramatic music, cut to closeup of BATMAN unlocking a small safe in a dusty, rarely used corner of the batcave:

BATMAN: Yes. But I have a case of kryptonite.
posted by slipperywhenwet at 8:50 AM on August 5, 2002


PC Vs Mac
posted by monkeyJuice at 8:50 AM on August 5, 2002


if only to see Austin Powers die a slow, painful death

All of America is watching that happen, with each new Austin Powers movie...
posted by jonson at 8:50 AM on August 5, 2002


Anna Nicole Smith vs. Charlie the Karate Chimp
posted by catfood at 8:52 AM on August 5, 2002


Anna Nicole Smith would win that.
posted by Frasermoo at 8:54 AM on August 5, 2002


How do you figure?
posted by catfood at 8:55 AM on August 5, 2002


Metafilter vs. Fark.
The latter may already be winning.
posted by dhartung at 8:57 AM on August 5, 2002


That monkey looks pants.
posted by Frasermoo at 9:00 AM on August 5, 2002


That monkey looks pants.

I understand those words...but not together.

Anyways, I revise that last battle: Anna Nicole Smith vs. Frasermoo in a battle of wits. ;-) The winner would then get the beat down by Charlie.
posted by catfood at 9:05 AM on August 5, 2002


How about Geeky Fanboys who think that Superman would beat Batman vs Geeky Fanboys that have read "Dark Knight Returns".
posted by seanyboy at 9:05 AM on August 5, 2002


that chimp looks DANGEROUS!! - all he needs is a fez, soleless shoes and a silk waistcoat, aint no one ganna mess wid dat rude boy
posted by monkeyJuice at 9:07 AM on August 5, 2002


Earl Warren v. Antonin Scalia
posted by monju_bosatsu at 9:07 AM on August 5, 2002


They'd both beat the living crap outta me.

I am pants.
posted by Frasermoo at 9:08 AM on August 5, 2002


thomcatspike vs. BlueTrain

Also......wait for it............

I vs. P

On a serious note, I think that Hercule Poirot vs. Sherlock Holmes would be a nice movie (BTW, there were no copyrights in Doyle's time so if I wanted I could publish my own Sherlock Holmes mystery, others have actually done that).

And also:

Shizzle vs. Wizzle vs. Bizzle

Eminem vs. El-P

I think that Tom Cruise was a pleasant surprise in Goldmember tho.
posted by ( .)(. ) at 9:08 AM on August 5, 2002


Thomcatspike v. mattpfeff.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 9:10 AM on August 5, 2002


(.)(.), now you've made me look unoriginal.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 9:11 AM on August 5, 2002


Hey! I thought of it first lol! Anyways, my golden rule is to always preview before posting. ;-)
posted by ( .)(. ) at 9:14 AM on August 5, 2002


"Friday" vs. "Dazed & Confused"?
posted by elsar at 9:15 AM on August 5, 2002


John Holmes vs Long John Silver.
posted by mrmanley at 9:16 AM on August 5, 2002


yo baby's momma vs. my baby's momma's momma
posted by bmxGirl at 9:17 AM on August 5, 2002


Hannibal Lecter vs. Antron "Big Lurch" Singleton
posted by starvingartist at 9:17 AM on August 5, 2002


Captain Kirk vs. Captain Picard
posted by MaddCutty at 9:18 AM on August 5, 2002


my dad vs. your dad
posted by starvingartist at 9:19 AM on August 5, 2002


1984 vs. 1938
posted by quonsar at 9:20 AM on August 5, 2002


bush vs a pretzel
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:20 AM on August 5, 2002


Plastic Vs.... Aw, who cares...
posted by ninthart at 9:20 AM on August 5, 2002


form vs content
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:22 AM on August 5, 2002


Mr. T vs. Pauly Shore
posted by catfood at 9:23 AM on August 5, 2002


Mr T V's more things and ppl than u can shake a stick at
posted by monkeyJuice at 9:23 AM on August 5, 2002


daddy vs chips
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:24 AM on August 5, 2002


Jackie Chan vs. Amelie
posted by MegoSteve at 9:25 AM on August 5, 2002


Mr T V's more things and ppl than u can shake a stick at

You seriously underestimate my stick-shaking abilities. That is a big list, but it does not feature Pauly Shore. :-( A girl can dream...
posted by catfood at 9:26 AM on August 5, 2002


britney vs talent

(help!)
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:26 AM on August 5, 2002


stopping posting vs keeping posting
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:28 AM on August 5, 2002


macbeth vs iago - ye finyl showedowne
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:29 AM on August 5, 2002


That's just wrong, quonsar.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 9:29 AM on August 5, 2002


Luke Skywalker vs. Luke Skyywalker
posted by bullitt 5 at 9:31 AM on August 5, 2002


Them VS Those
posted by mss at 9:32 AM on August 5, 2002


Lewinsky vs. Tripp

In a locked cage.......in wet t-shirts...........

I would pay cash money to see THAT!
posted by ( .)(. ) at 9:32 AM on August 5, 2002


Little Orphan Annie vs. The Punisher
posted by bingbangbong at 9:32 AM on August 5, 2002


To summarize, so I only post once more (easy on the server):

1. New Klingons vs. Old Klingons

2. Picard v. Foucault

3. Nature v. Nurture

4. Space v. Time

5. Kissinger v. Albright

6. Connery v. Brosnan
posted by elsar at 9:35 AM on August 5, 2002


my personal favorite: Bambi vs. Godzilla
(sorry, i can't find the one from Godzilla 1998)
posted by NGnerd at 9:36 AM on August 5, 2002


The Dancing Hamsters vs The Dancing Jesii
posted by ZachsMind at 9:38 AM on August 5, 2002


and the winner is ........................sean connery !!!
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:38 AM on August 5, 2002


Godzilla vs Godzilla
posted by jazon at 9:39 AM on August 5, 2002


Quitting MeFi v Signing up for MeFi

dhartung vs riviera

ColdChef vs evanizer
posted by i_cola at 9:40 AM on August 5, 2002


Tad Ghostal v. Harvey Birdman
posted by tittergrrl at 9:40 AM on August 5, 2002


the wanderers vs the world
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:40 AM on August 5, 2002


Evil Santa-Bot vs. Kwanzaabot
posted by mrmanley at 9:41 AM on August 5, 2002


skeletor vs any other villain EVER
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:42 AM on August 5, 2002


Am I the only one who read the beginning of the entry as:

"Freddy vs. Jason Bateman"?

And I just got new glasses, too!
posted by briank at 9:43 AM on August 5, 2002


How 'bout Adam Sandler vs. Mike Myers?

Both have a successful movie career based totally on penis and flatulence jokes.

Both are unfunny to anyone with an IQ over room temperature.

Both are mostly talentless hacks.

They seem to be well matched. Plus you could have special guest star Howard Stern as "Fartman"!
posted by mark13 at 9:45 AM on August 5, 2002


1142 v 9622

Sorry, had to be done.
posted by dogmatic at 9:46 AM on August 5, 2002


ok last post:

1. tomato vs tomato

2. scotland v england

3.celtic v rangers

4. lennon v mcartney

5. gilbert vs sullivan

6. kramer vs kramer

7. the catholic church vs masturbation

8. godzilla vs mothra (oh we had that one)
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:49 AM on August 5, 2002


ok, i lied...

7. the warriors v. any other gang
posted by elsar at 9:49 AM on August 5, 2002


Inspector Clouseau v. Merkin Muffley.
posted by raysmj at 9:49 AM on August 5, 2002


Pikachu vs. Seinfeld.
posted by furiousthought at 9:50 AM on August 5, 2002


i lied too...

the cabbage patch kids vs the beanie babies
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:52 AM on August 5, 2002


george best vs george best
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:54 AM on August 5, 2002


Neale Talbot vs. Zeldman. Bound at the wrist and blindfolded. Each man will receive the cordless power tool of his choice, limited in value to under $100, to use as a weapon.
posted by internook at 9:55 AM on August 5, 2002


People with cameras against people without.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:03 AM on August 5, 2002


hee hee hee hee hee!

best. stupid thread. ever.

(vs. worst. stupid thread. ever.)
posted by Marquis at 10:14 AM on August 5, 2002


Hilary Rosen vs. MP3...Smackdown style.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 10:21 AM on August 5, 2002


Yoshimi vs. the Pink Robots
posted by muckster at 10:22 AM on August 5, 2002


Britney vs. Jessica Alba

(and Bat-boy would so get his gadget-wielding butt handed to him)
posted by owillis at 10:42 AM on August 5, 2002


Plasticman vs. Inspector Gadget.
posted by internook at 10:46 AM on August 5, 2002


Jem and the Holograms vs. Barbie and the Rockers.

Also, I'm counting the seconds until Connery vs. Brosnan. The game is afoot!
posted by ungratefulninja at 10:51 AM on August 5, 2002


Nobody's mentioned Jesus vs. Santa? Is Southpark really that uncool already?
posted by NortonDC at 10:52 AM on August 5, 2002


New MeFi Server vs. Stretching The Premise.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:03 AM on August 5, 2002


Bill vs. Hillary
posted by darsh at 11:03 AM on August 5, 2002


Dirk Diggler vs. Edward Scissorhands.
posted by adampsyche at 11:04 AM on August 5, 2002


(wow, I didn't think my thread would get this wild!)

Bob Barker vs. Ted Nugent, held at the zoo

Forrest Gump vs. Forrest Whitaker vs. DeForest Kelley, held, I don't know, somewhere in a bunch of trees

The Godfather vs. Harriet the Spy
posted by billder at 11:16 AM on August 5, 2002


actually dr.dank, if you were a real fanboy, you would know that not only is it possible (yes, batman DOES have kryptonite), but it's actually happened.

frank miller's "the dark knight".

read it and be amazed.
posted by jcterminal at 11:19 AM on August 5, 2002


1. Julia Child vs Yan
2. Juliette Lewis vs Juliette Binoche
3. Gallagher vs Tiny Tim

And I'm out for this thread.
posted by mrmanley at 11:32 AM on August 5, 2002


Andy Rooney vs. Charles Grodin. Single shot dueling pistols.
posted by internook at 11:34 AM on August 5, 2002


George Forman vs George Forman (II - VII) for not giving his sons more original names.
posted by onhazier at 11:34 AM on August 5, 2002


ALF versus Mike Piazza
Winner gets all calls for just 99 cents for the first 20 minutes.
posted by juicyraoul at 11:43 AM on August 5, 2002


Matt Drudge vs. mathowie vs. Howie Mandel vs. Howie Long, to take place at Long John Silver's, with the winner receiving a john mat.

How's that for tying it all up in a nice big bow?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:48 AM on August 5, 2002


What I want is to see a sequel to the movie Maverick, with Russell Crowe playing cards against Mel Gibson.

And since I came up with the idea, I should get at least a cameo where I get to kiss Russell.

I'm just saying...
posted by beth at 11:57 AM on August 5, 2002


John Nash off medication vs. Russel Crowe as John Nash on crack.
posted by internook at 12:39 PM on August 5, 2002


You didn't specify - are you talking about physical fighting, or dueling math theorems or some such?

Or maybe they could have a Battle Of The Bands?

Russell's band could play against Nash and other "persons of different sanity" (perhaps they could call themselves the "Schizofreaks"). I'll sing with Nash... (hell, I'm a qualified bipolar with at least one psychotic episode behind me).

But do I still get to kiss Russell? That's the important question...
posted by beth at 1:17 PM on August 5, 2002


me v. you
Particle Man v. Triangle Man: The Rematch
posted by GirlFriday at 3:27 PM on August 5, 2002


Me. vs. a tuna sandwich
posted by Shadowkeeper at 3:49 PM on August 5, 2002


Results of the Jason-Freddy match
posted by tdismukes at 3:54 PM on August 5, 2002


Betty from The Flintstones vs. Betty from The Archies

The Lone Ranger vs. Zorro (who were those masked men?)

Mr. Bean vs. Mr. Hulot (hilarity ensues.)

The Mammas & the Papas vs. Children of the Corn
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:54 PM on August 5, 2002


You already won, GirlFriday.

"You covered one mile over a track rated fast in 1:36 4/5 and paid $4.40, $2.60 and $2.40."
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:04 PM on August 5, 2002


All that vs. a bag of chips.
posted by RakDaddy at 4:05 PM on August 5, 2002


:( vs. :P
posted by smrtsch at 4:07 PM on August 5, 2002


captain pike vs stephen hawking
posted by vewystwange at 4:40 PM on August 5, 2002


Monkey Vs. Robot
Someone had to say it..
posted by X-00 at 4:56 PM on August 5, 2002


toddlers vs. sanity.
posted by precocious at 5:03 PM on August 5, 2002


Brown Vs. Board of Education
posted by muckster at 5:59 PM on August 5, 2002


toddlers vs. sanity.

*nods head in exhausted parental agreement*
posted by adampsyche at 7:01 PM on August 5, 2002


ungratefulninja : Jem, of course! That plastic freak wouldn't stand a chance.

Magneto vs. Dr. Doom vs. Ozymandias
(aka, The Battle of the [Mostly] Justified Super Egos)
posted by e^2 at 7:07 PM on August 5, 2002


Travis Bickle vs. Lee Harvey Oswald

Travis would, of course, have the upper hand since he has, unlike oswald, shot people before.

"Back...and to the left."

Oswald is not in spell check; closest suggestion is Salad?
I'm calling Oliver Stone's red conspiracy phone as we speak....er....type
posted by buz46 at 7:57 PM on August 5, 2002


The Godfather vs. Harriet the Spy
Encyclopedia Brown vs. Harriet The Spy vs. Bugs Meany vs. The Bobbsey Twins

Cage Match.

(and Dark Knight Returns wimps out through the involvement of Kryptonite. AND even so, one long range blast of heat vision kills Bat-mite)
posted by owillis at 8:21 PM on August 5, 2002


But that's the point, SuperWuss is too "good" to kill Batman. Batman ain't afraid to break the rules.
I am such a friggin' dorkus
posted by ColdChef at 9:00 PM on August 5, 2002


Tina (in "Thunderdome" gear) v. Ike
posted by raysmj at 9:05 PM on August 5, 2002


There can be only one:

donkeyschlong vs. donkeysuck
crunchland vs. crunchburger
specialk vs. specialk420
jonmc vs. rushmc
SweetJesus vs. Fat Buddha

(etc.)
posted by vacapinta at 11:02 PM on August 5, 2002


Scooby-Doo vs. The Shmoo

oh, and...

Spy Kids vs. Spy vs. Spy
posted by Dirjy at 11:09 PM on August 5, 2002


Elfstar vs. Little Debbie
Thomas Hobbes vs. James Bond
Hello Kitty vs. Scooby Doo
Dr. Frankenstein vs. Dr. Faustus
Buffy vs. Jesus
Wittgenstein vs. Popper
Good Will Hunting vs. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown
Bad, Bad Leroy Brown vs. Encyclopedia Brown
Spider Jerusalem vs. Uncle Duke
Mr. T vs. The Motley Fool
William Butler Yeats vs. The Cybermen
Jane Austen vs. J.L. Austin
Hobbes vs. Leviathan
Steve Jobs vs. Tank Girl
...I should stop.
posted by moss at 2:23 AM on August 6, 2002


and a friend suggests:
Hannibal Lecter vs. the snakehead
posted by moss at 2:38 AM on August 6, 2002


owillis vs. coldchef. modified-'78 justice league rules.
posted by owillis at 2:47 AM on August 6, 2002


Pearl Jam Vs.
posted by jedro at 2:52 AM on August 6, 2002


jimi hendrix vs the blind kid from deliverance
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:32 AM on August 6, 2002


An all out Golden Girls battle royal!
posted by juicyraoul at 4:41 AM on August 6, 2002


oh no , the thread has died ....!
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:55 PM on August 6, 2002


You did your best, Sarge. Let 'im go.
*Whistles "Taps"*
posted by ColdChef at 5:14 PM on August 6, 2002


harmful vs. nonharmful
posted by moss at 9:00 PM on August 6, 2002


he 's still breathing , sir !
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:57 AM on August 7, 2002


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