Old Glory Bank -- not a joke

March 10, 2023 10:19 AM

Old Glory Bank, the bank for the hard-working Americans who make this country run every day. The bank for people who believe in love of country, respect for the flag, and appreciate the mili Not a McSweeny's piece or an Onion joke, it's a bank in Oklahoma that changed its name and rebranded as, apparently, the Fox News Channel of savings accounts.

From their FAQ page:

We support your business and livelihood—regardless of your industry. Whether you’re in the oil business, a firearms retailer, or a meat producer, Old Glory Bank will be the bank for you. We stand with you. No matter where you stand.

And of course they are on Twitter at @oldglorybank.

posted by wenestvedt (82 comments total)

I liked things a lot better when the racists thought they should hide their racism behind sheets and practice it at night, rather than the 24/7 MAGA hat / giant Trump flag on the giant pickup / Let's Go Brandon bullshit that parades past my house on a daily basis.

The right has been setting up their own system of grifting people through Fox News ads and AM radio. Maybe we'll eventually get back to segregation.

Since banking is now separating into red and blue, I forsee things like separate dining areas and water fountains and restrooms for the white patriots and blue people. Separate schools. Apps that guide people to where it's safe for a liberal / LGBTQIA2S+ / minority to eat or get gas in Florida and Texas.

I'm not looking forward to this future but until we can fix the portion of the population that gets Koch propaganda beamed into their heads every moment of every day, this is where we're headed.
posted by ensign_ricky at 10:32 AM on March 10, 2023 [9 favorites]

Great, but what measures have they taken to protect their customers against the impending threat of robot attack?
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:33 AM on March 10, 2023 [28 favorites]

How can Old Glory Bank be FDIC insured and still protect me from federal overreach?
[...] Old Glory Bank will absolutely comply with lawful orders, including, for example, a garnishment to pay child support and lawful requirements to report your income.

I love that even they feel that they need to head off the manosphere.

The rest of the FAQ is wild, though. People are evidently super concerned that "woke" banks are going to cancel their meat payments or whatever (this is why I always use the rainbow flag emoji for all my meat and fossil fuel Venmos).
posted by uncleozzy at 10:35 AM on March 10, 2023 [25 favorites]

Despite their FREEDOM stance, it’s very unlikely that they’re going to add “the cannabis industry” or “sex workers” to their stupid list. Because they’re a federally regulated bank just like all the others. Unless they take a real laissez-faire approach to compliance risk.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 10:41 AM on March 10, 2023 [7 favorites]

Can I use Old Glory Bank to setup an Animal rescue org dedicated to arming the livestock to defend their rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness....

Or is that the wrong sort of freedom?
posted by drewbage1847 at 10:42 AM on March 10, 2023 [6 favorites]

the 2nd does say "shall not be infringed"... by not designing guns that don't require thumbs to use, we're infringing on the rights of all our non-thumbed animal co-habitants.
posted by hippybear at 10:44 AM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

There's also Coign, a "credit card for conservatives".
posted by meowzilla at 10:47 AM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

Not sure exactly who is the original author (and who maybe added the "and Carrying a Cross" portion) of this quote, but it is probably appropriate - at least that is what came immediately to mind:

‘When Fascism Comes to America, It Will Be Wrapped in the Flag and Carrying a Cross’

Quick, which 20's are we in again?
posted by rozcakj at 10:48 AM on March 10, 2023 [6 favorites]

"the first chartered bank to openly support America, the flag, freedom, the military, first responders, and most importantly, the hard-working people who make America great"

Thank goodness, finally an alternative to all those openly anti-American banks who hate our troops and burn the flag
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:50 AM on March 10, 2023 [25 favorites]

For depositing convenience the drive-thru Old Glory Hole is open 24-7.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:57 AM on March 10, 2023 [39 favorites]

While this is pretty nuts, I will say that the general reflex to worry that it'll be hard for you to access financial services if you're doing something that's frowned upon, even if it's legal, is not without foundation. Anyone involved with sex work of different kinds has found that out the hard way. But I doubt that Old Glory Bank cares about that particular segment (or maybe they do, in which case, good for them).
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 10:57 AM on March 10, 2023 [2 favorites]

by not designing guns that don't require thumbs to use, we're infringing on the rights of all our non-thumbed animal co-habitants.
posted by hippybear

Might not be an issue?
posted by Splunge at 10:59 AM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

We are a “real” bank . . .

I am stuck in a loop between the dictionary definition and scare quotes.
posted by fruitslinger at 11:01 AM on March 10, 2023 [13 favorites]

I will say that the general reflex to worry that it'll be hard for you to access financial services if you're doing something that's frowned upon, even if it's legal, is not without foundation.

Legal marijuana businesses are locked out of regular banking which makes their businesses really difficult to provide bookkeeping for, and makes them cash-rich and thus welcome targets for holdups. Banking would help them out a lot. I wonder if Old Glory Bank believes in that kind of freedom.
posted by hippybear at 11:03 AM on March 10, 2023 [9 favorites]

its the schmaltz bank
posted by robbyrobs at 11:10 AM on March 10, 2023

The Silicon Valley Bank guys are like, why didn't WE hire Ben Carson?!
posted by mittens at 11:11 AM on March 10, 2023 [7 favorites]

I listen to conservative radio on the way to work sometimes, and there's a whole parallel economy of this stuff that seems to be getting bigger by the day.

You can use your Old Glory Bank card to pay for your Christian conservative cell phone, health insurance, etc., etc.

Pick any seemingly-apolitical thing: if there isn't already a shitty MAGA version of it, someone with dollar signs in their eyes is probably working on one.
posted by box at 11:13 AM on March 10, 2023 [16 favorites]

I predict that within 5 years they are going to be in the news because one of the senior staff has embezzled customers' money in order to buy
a) drugs;
b) sex; or
c) donate to the Republican party.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 11:16 AM on March 10, 2023 [18 favorites]

Holy cow. I love my life, but it is hard to convince people that there are good things about my state when people keep doing this shit.

FYI, the bank is located in Elmore City, OK. Population - not very damn many. Claim to fame - the town that inspired "Footloose".
posted by domino at 11:17 AM on March 10, 2023 [20 favorites]

So what's the over/under on how long until this is found to be an embezzlement/financial fraud/ staffed by three dead weasels wearing a trench-coat?

Much like Nigerian scams, the business model seems to be about pre-selecting for the most gullible suckers there are. I won't feel sorry for the suckers that get fleeced by it, but I will feel sorry for their grandchildren/ children who miss out on an inheritance from Grampa fascist.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 11:17 AM on March 10, 2023 [11 favorites]

And here's the same-name Insurance subsidiary they deserve.
posted by zaixfeep at 11:17 AM on March 10, 2023 [2 favorites]

According to the press release, former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development/presidential candidate Ben Carson is a co-founder.

Also, in the third paragraph they flip-flop on Oxford comma use.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:18 AM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

Well, their "news" is different; why shouldn't their banking be too?

Could someone point me to where the bank promises not to process clients' unemployment and social-security payments, to help ease the burden of the meddling nanny-state on the hard-working folks?
posted by Artful Codger at 11:19 AM on March 10, 2023 [7 favorites]

While this is pretty nuts, I will say that the general reflex to worry that it'll be hard for you to access financial services if you're doing something that's frowned upon, even if it's legal, is not without foundation.

Yes, but the American right wing’s perpetual claims of victimhood render this particular case laughable. If someone raises a ruckus about their anti-orca defense fence in Colorado Springs, the appropriate response isn’t “Sure, but killer whales are very dangerous to people in Alaska.”
posted by Etrigan at 11:19 AM on March 10, 2023 [8 favorites]

by not designing guns that don't require thumbs to use, we're infringing on the rights of all our non-thumbed animal co-habitants.
posted by hippybear

I mean, it explicitly says "bear arms" not "people arms," right? Hippybear? Right?
posted by The Bellman at 11:19 AM on March 10, 2023 [3 favorites]

Box, I somehow get a conservative 'older Americans' e-mail mailing list meant for someone else. My first instinct was immediately to get off it, but the morbid fascination of anti-Communist coloring books for the grandkids and shady coin and supplement dealers has kept it filtered away but on. It's good to know what they're scared of. I did a quick search and somehow don't have either Old Glory in the offers.
posted by cobaltnine at 11:20 AM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

My Credit Union rebranded from a professionally-affiliiated one to a generica "Murrica!" name (they'd been slowly expanding farther and farther from the initial population served). I am rolling my eyes, but not (yet) moving my money.
posted by DebetEsse at 11:21 AM on March 10, 2023

as dril would say: "another day working at the Old Glory Bank. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it"

dedicated to arming the livestock to defend their rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness

cows with guns
posted by BungaDunga at 11:24 AM on March 10, 2023 [3 favorites]

by not designing guns that don't require thumbs to use, we're infringing on the rights of all our non-thumbed animal co-habitants.

I mean, it explicitly says "bear arms" not "people arms," right?

Support the right to arm bears!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:24 AM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

(Just popping back in to say that I swear to God that I thought Ben Carson had died of COVID-19, which is why I didn't mention him and the rest of that Ship Of Fools/Board of Directors line-up anywhere in the original post.)
posted by wenestvedt at 11:33 AM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

You're thinking of Herman Cain.
posted by saturday_morning at 11:39 AM on March 10, 2023 [12 favorites]

Just spitballing but a guess that this came about as a reaction to Visa / MasterCard saying they would adopt new ISO standards that would identify gun stores as it's own category of store. But they've put that on hold as of yesterday, so perhaps it's just your run of the mill grift.
posted by msbutah at 11:44 AM on March 10, 2023 [3 favorites]

So what's the over/under on how long until this is found to be an embezzlement/financial fraud/ staffed by three dead weasels wearing a trench-coat?

Much like Nigerian scams, the business model seems to be about pre-selecting for the most gullible suckers there are. I won't feel sorry for the suckers that get fleeced by it, but I will feel sorry for their grandchildren/ children who miss out on an inheritance from Grampa fascist.

It's a bank. They don't need to embezzle. They can just service charge and overdraft charge and run an affiliated credit card with absurd rates. I just surprised it isn't also somehow a church.
posted by srboisvert at 11:52 AM on March 10, 2023 [12 favorites]

I just surprised it isn't also somehow a church.

All banks are, in a way.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:58 AM on March 10, 2023 [10 favorites]

I have examined this bank's web site carefully and I see no motherhood and no apple pie.

WTF, Old Glory Bank? Get with the program.
posted by flabdablet at 12:00 PM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

Also, in the third paragraph they flip-flop on Oxford comma use.

Ooh yeah! Sick burn! Fuck those guys!
posted by slogger at 12:05 PM on March 10, 2023 [7 favorites]

You can use your Old Glory Bank card to pay for your Christian conservative cell phone, health insurance, etc., etc.

Yeah, that insurance is a scam, too.

“Just trust God,” the nonprofit group, Samaritan Ministries, in Peoria, Ill., said in a statement about its coverage, and advises its members that “there is no coverage, no guarantee of payment.”

posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 12:07 PM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

We won’t cancel law-abiding customers for their beliefs.
Funny, because the only places I hear about where someone's service is being denied because of their beliefs is shit like pharmacists refusing to sell morning-after pills, or shops refusing to provide cakes/flowers/whatnot for a wedding when it turns out they are a same-sex couple. You know, law-abiding customers who got canceled for expecting the law to be followed.

We recently acquired First State Bank and changed its name to Old Glory Bank. There is a new group of owners, executives, and board members, who have decades of experience in banking and technology.
Awesome! Care to explain WHAT experience? Because I know of a guy with decades of experience in tech, who recently bought a tech company (for $44 billion), and it didn't turn out to be such a good result for end users despite all of his experience.
posted by caution live frogs at 12:10 PM on March 10, 2023 [13 favorites]

Their politics don’t set them apart from most banks. Why are they breaking cover like this?

Maybe they’re having trouble competing with service member based credit unions, which really do give their customers a better deal.
posted by jamjam at 12:14 PM on March 10, 2023 [5 favorites]

Looked at their twitter account and quickly saw a reply from a bitcoin promoter hoping they would understand the importance of "freedom money"
posted by stevil at 12:20 PM on March 10, 2023

“Just trust God,” the nonprofit group, Samaritan Ministries, in Peoria, Ill., said in a statement about its coverage, and advises its members that “there is no coverage, no guarantee of payment.”

"Neddy doesn't believe in insurance. He considers it a form of gambling."
posted by condour75 at 12:22 PM on March 10, 2023 [3 favorites]

Whether you’re in the oil business, a firearms retailer, or a meat producer

If you think about it, we're all meat producers.
posted by Foosnark at 12:26 PM on March 10, 2023 [15 favorites]

I’m surprised no one has thought of this before! Oh, wait.
posted by TedW at 12:35 PM on March 10, 2023 [7 favorites]

Maybe they’re having trouble competing with service member based credit unions, which really do give their customers a better deal.

My thoughts exactly.
posted by mochapickle at 12:46 PM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

I know a little bit about this area of Oklahoma, as my mother was born and grew up in Ardmore, just to the south of Elmore. Elmore has a population of about 700 people, so not likely to become a banking hub. But it is in the middle of the Chickasaw Nation (my grandmother and her parents were members according to the Dawes Rolls). Which makes me wonder if Old Glory Bank will claim to fall under tribal jurisdiction if they do anything shady, based on McGirt v. Oklahoma.
posted by TedW at 1:00 PM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

"Old Glory Bank promises it will never cancel law-abiding customers for their beliefs or for exercising their lawful rights of free speech."

Because banks are known for their wildly liberal politics?
posted by hydra77 at 1:26 PM on March 10, 2023 [6 favorites]

I just read the fine print.. All currency deposited by customers is immediately converted to Confederate money with no option to convert back to USD.
posted by Liquidwolf at 1:36 PM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

The financials of people foolish enough to change to this bank are probably worth a lot to other scam artists conservative businesses.
posted by meowzilla at 1:39 PM on March 10, 2023 [5 favorites]

Utah is the home of the “America First” credit union (given its current name in 1984), which strikes me rather dogwhistle-y. I often wonder what percentage of its membership is there because of the right-wing isolationist connotation, vs. just oblivious to it.

I’m not aware of any scandals with AFCU, and naturally I belong to a different credit union. But whenever I get an attempted phishing text, it’s always targeting members of “America First.”

Maybe it’s a coincidence, but I always assume the grifters just spam everyone in 801, 435, and 385 about the xenophobic-sounding credit union because conservatives are easy marks. I assume this new Old Glory bank will prove to be more of the same.

Not that progressives never get hosed, but the far right seems like a perfect storm: rejecting critical thought, embracing the self-serving bias/just-world fallacy, and being high on the fumes of Prosperity Gospel. But I repeat myself.

Hardly a revelation, I realize. What perplexes me is that the well never runs dry! One would think they already spent all their money on crypto, MLMs, for-profit diploma mills, and colloidal silver, but somehow there’s always another dollar burning a hole in their tactical pants pocket.
posted by armeowda at 2:31 PM on March 10, 2023 [8 favorites]

with a $500 deposit:
-Free mud flaps
-200 rounds of .22 ammo
-Kingsized constitutional sheet set and shams.
-free change tubes.
-15% off taxidermy (conditions apply)
posted by clavdivs at 2:42 PM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

Not that progressives never get hosed

I got a Sea Shepherd credit card, and it's been like 25 years since they last rammed and sunk a whaling ship.
posted by box at 2:42 PM on March 10, 2023 [6 favorites]

grift...
posted by jim in austin at 2:48 PM on March 10, 2023

I'm going to start the 'Destroy All Socialists All-American Community Cooperative Credit Union'.
Anyone can open an account with a Social Security payment.
And sit back and enjoy listening to the cacophony of cognitive dissonance.
posted by zaixfeep at 3:12 PM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: If you think about it, we're all meat producers.
posted by zaixfeep at 3:14 PM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

In my work I recently met someone who went off on a series of Fox news fueled conspiracies. I rarely talk to those people in my daily life so it was sort of tragically interesting. This woman had many normal things going on in her life that she could have talked about - they were briefly mentioned. What really lit her up, though was doing a speed run talk at me through a bunch of shit she heard on fox (it started because I asked if she wanted coke or pepsi, she drinks pepsi because coke is woke, they had an employee training on how to be less white --> racist crap about slavery --> all lives matter... and so on). I guess I hadn't thought much about how much fun this is for people, to dig in to all the conspiracies. It was as if I had asked a Lord of the Rings fan to explain a plot point in The Two Towers and they started quoting the appendices.

This bank is just expanding the canon for its fandom.
posted by Emmy Rae at 3:15 PM on March 10, 2023 [10 favorites]

Everywhere I look I see the waggling tentacles of the culture war, but that site is pretty amazing. Like take any cultural trend and add a bank - Barbiecore bank? Flaming Hot Cheetos bank? Miley Cyrus bank?

It could be a parlor game, like we used to say ...in bed we can now say ...bank.
posted by Word_Salad at 3:17 PM on March 10, 2023 [5 favorites]

Miley Cyrus bank?

I'd be worried about someone breaking into the vault with a wrecking ball.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:20 PM on March 10, 2023 [9 favorites]

The Miley Cyrus bank specializes in demolitions.
posted by hippybear at 3:20 PM on March 10, 2023 [8 favorites]

DAMMIT GREG ACE
posted by hippybear at 3:21 PM on March 10, 2023 [10 favorites]

Greg it could be worse... how about The Prodigy FCU: Smack Your Bank Up!
^{didn't mean to be a firestarter}
posted by zaixfeep at 3:27 PM on March 10, 2023 [2 favorites]

Utah is the home of the “America First” credit union (given its current name in 1984), which strikes me rather dogwhistle-y.

(Pulls down latest FDIC institutions list and the 27k+ institutions listed...)

You are going to love (all real institutions)

American First National Bank (side note - over 1.4k listed institutions use First National in their name...)
American Patriot Bank
American Pride
Flag Bank
Founders Bank
Founders Bank & Trust Company
Founders Bank of Arizona
Founders Community Bank
Founders Federal Savings and Loan Association
Founders National Bank
Founders National Trust Bank
Founders Savings and Loan Association
Founders Trust National Bank
Patriot Bank
Patriot Bank Minnesota
Patriot Bank of Georgia
Patriot Bank, National Association
Patriot Bank/Brookline Trust Company
Patriot Community Bank
Patriot Federal Savings Bank
Patriot National Bank
Patriot State Bank
Patriots Bank

Oh - you prefer a Credit Union. I got you. Lets get the list. That's another 4.7k or so of them

American First
American Heritage
American Pride
American Spirit
Family 1st of Texas
Founders
Freedom 1st
Patriot
Patriot Equity
posted by inflatablekiwi at 3:42 PM on March 10, 2023 [5 favorites]

So, yeah... I'm just gonna assume from the start that they're straight-up stealing everybody's money.
posted by kyrademon at 4:01 PM on March 10, 2023

DAMMIT GREG ACE

Sorry hippybear if I hurt your achy breaky heart!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:03 PM on March 10, 2023 [5 favorites]

I pretty much put any biz flyers with a flaghumper aesthetic right in the trash.
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:51 PM on March 10, 2023

Imagine the smell.
posted by Oyéah at 5:23 PM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

Interest paid in decals and truck nuts. This is the My Pillow of banking institutions. We don't know banking but do know wanking. There were some memorable things Ben Carson said, but "He's my banker, and he's my brain surgeon," gives me the shudders. He will be looking at the fruit salad of your financials. This is a stick up!
posted by Oyéah at 5:41 PM on March 10, 2023 [2 favorites]

Imagine the smell.
^{posted by Oyéah}

Smells like victory.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:25 PM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

Banks suck at naming. There used to be a bank near me called Ponce De Leon Bank, and I was like, weird. So we're going to name a bank after a conquistador, right here in our little town of New Amsterdam, huh? Anyway, a few years back I guess they realized that this was a shitty name for a bank, so they did a big rebrand and changed their name to... Ponce Bank. That was their decision. Someone sat down and decided that this was an improvement.

Banks suck at naming.
posted by phooky at 7:39 PM on March 10, 2023 [11 favorites]

e.g. Fifth Third Bank, not gonna link However wiki:

On June 1, 1908, Third National Bank and Fifth National Bank merged to become the Fifth-Third National Bank of Cincinnati; the hyphen was later dropped. The merger took place when prohibitionist ideas were gaining popularity, and it is a legend that "Fifth Third" was better than "Third Fifth", which could have been construed as a reference to three fifths of alcohol

posted by achrise at 7:51 PM on March 10, 2023 [7 favorites]

My bank in Wisconsin was the Royal Credit Union, but they weren't monarchists - they were initially set up as a credit union for employees of the big Uniroyal tire factory in town. Uniroyal eventually left, but the credit union stuck around.
posted by LionIndex at 7:54 PM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

Third National Bank and Fifth National Bank merged to become the Fifth-Third National Bank

Now they need to merge with the Second National Bank to become the 5/32 National Bank.

Or the 4th National Bank if the US ever converts to metric.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:49 PM on March 10, 2023 [3 favorites]

Banks with numbers in the name? Three fifths bank sounds completely innocent, doesn't it?

I will never miss an opportunity to vent about how badly bank of america sucks and messed with poor people
posted by Jacen at 10:18 PM on March 10, 2023 [3 favorites]

I went to the Chemical Corn Exchange Bank. I gave them an ear of corn, and they gave me a beaker of chemicals.
— Firesign Theater
posted by Naberius at 10:39 PM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

Third National Bank and Fifth National Bank merged to become the Fifth-Third National Bank

So what happened next? Did they go forth, hesitate for a second, or tremble in fear as they watched Seventh ate Ninth? Nah, for all that time, they were on first. Who?
posted by zaixfeep at 11:55 PM on March 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

I imagine another reason for Fifth Third would be avoiding the old Constitutional reference to 3/5ths.
posted by zaixfeep at 12:00 AM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

Perfectly clear to me that they should have screened their marketing team on an ability to implement FizzBuzz.
posted by flabdablet at 1:01 AM on March 11, 2023

This post sent me down the rabbit hole and apparently this has been done before: GloriFi Bank lasted three months before going out with a whimper back in November 2022 (Rolling Stone link):

GloriFi’s marketing read more like a campaign ad than an enticing APR offer on a new credit card. Highlights from the “about us” page include: “OUR BILL OF RIGHTS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE” and “WE ARE ONE NATION UNDER GOD.”
...
Founder and CEO Toby Neugebauer pitched plans to offer gun owners discounts on home insurance, credit cards made of shell casing material, and assistance paying legal bills if customers shot someone in self-defense.

Apparently Toby converted his Dallas mansion into company offices. Employees from out of town slept in the guest rooms. He'd work 17-hour days and show up to meetings drinking Red Bull with whatever, and the head of HR would warn employees to flee by 5 p.m. before things got too out of hand (D Magazine link, heavily quoting paywalled WSJ).

They'd raised $50 million up front from prominent investors including Peter Thiel, Kelly Loefler, and 2024 presidential hopeful Vivek Ramaswamy. Hahaaahaaaa. Ha.

Anyone remember the representative from Texas who shouted "BABY KILLER!" on the floor of the US Congress during the Affordable Care Act debates a dozen years ago? That's Toby's dad, Randy.
posted by mochapickle at 2:21 AM on March 11, 2023 [3 favorites]

oof, I read it as Old Gory Bank
posted by a humble nudibranch at 2:59 AM on March 11, 2023

Have they collapsed yet?
posted by Paul Slade at 8:25 AM on March 11, 2023 [3 favorites]

Ponce Bank. That was their decision. Someone sat down and decided that this was an improvement.

Ponce
noun
1. A pimp.
2. A posh person.
posted by Oyéah at 2:33 PM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

Years ago, one of my friends switched to Fifth Third Bank.

Because they snatched up the admittedly amazing 53.com.
posted by box at 5:57 PM on March 11, 2023

I think they should have changed the name to Gloryhole Bank, because they really suck. (And because the money is all going to disappear)
posted by Saxon Kane at 7:54 PM on March 21, 2023