A Goofball Colossus Called Back Into Action

March 10, 2023 4:08 PM

Schwarzenegger told me he really does want to live forever. Not everyone would, at his age. But not everyone has had his life, either. “If you have the kind of life that I’ve had—that I have—it is so spectacular. I could not ever articulate how spectacular it was.” He was trying to project gratitude, but something else came through—a plaintiveness in that gap between the tenses. from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Last Act [The Atlantic; ungated]
posted by chavenet (25 comments total)

He has made the most out of his temporary flesh imprisonment, (life.) He is bigger than life and has inspired, and entertained so many people, that alone is a sizeable force for good. Californians nicknamed him The Governator. I found that wonderful, a sorf of people's matinee hero, ownership, sweet, whimsical. For all of his earthly flaws / doings, what a glorious man!
posted by Oyéah at 4:57 PM on March 10, 2023 [15 favorites]

Still, let it be recorded that on a foggy October morning at Gold’s Gym in Venice, I was lifting heavier weights than Arnold Schwarzenegger was.

Nice.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:24 PM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

I didn't expect to like this, but I came away kind of charmed. For all his flaws (and he certainly seems to have a bunch, even now, with his comment about the democrats destroying cities), I can kind of sympathize with him and that feeling of contemplative alienation that comes with getting older. I'm nowhere as old as he is, but I'm also not at all in as good shape as he is even now, and the kind of thoughts he has about life and death and so on are familiar. It seems he still has a bunch of energy left, and wants to direct it into doing good, so let's hope he does.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 5:53 PM on March 10, 2023 [6 favorites]

I'm nowhere as old as he is...

75, FTR.

(21 years younger than Mel Brooks.)
posted by fairmettle at 6:19 PM on March 10, 2023 [2 favorites]

If God ever makes a rock even God cannot lift, I'm sure Arnold will make quick work of it in the afterlife. God need only ask him.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:30 PM on March 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

'Temporary Flesh Imprisonment' is a great name for a Cronenberg cover band.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:31 PM on March 10, 2023 [13 favorites]

an emeritus version of himself

This is a description I will turn over in my mind often, and for a long time.
posted by Caxton1476 at 7:10 PM on March 10, 2023 [5 favorites]

"Californians nicknamed him The Governator"

And as The Governator he was HORRIBLE and governed from what at the time was pretty damn right. (Now he'd be like middle of the road republican.) Anti gay marriage. Significant austerity in response to economic downturn. Vetos up the wazoo. Repeat abuse of special elections in an attempt to get unpopular legislation approved. And much more. (Oh and he was supposedly VERY gropey to women, no surprise.)

Fuck Arnold. He's done an amazing PR job of trying to remember him fondly and forget about what a shithead he is. Fuck that.
posted by aspo at 7:55 PM on March 10, 2023 [33 favorites]

I can only imagine that old age must indeed hit harder when your body didn't start falling apart in childhood.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:58 PM on March 10, 2023 [6 favorites]

I had a big poster of the killer robot from the future in my dorm room when I was 13. It said SCHWARZENEGGER across the top, which frustrated my Taiwanese bunkmate who was not yet fluent in English. In another dorm room there was a vein popping picture of STALLONE, stripped to the waist and bearing a machine gun.

For a decade the world's biggest movie stars were dim brutes on steroids capable of extraordinary violence, and Arnold was the biggest of them all. An 80s icon. It all probably scrambled our brains a little bit, having these violent muscle men for heroes.

Anyhow, enjoy these surreal Japanese commercials Arnold made for Nissin Cup Noodles.
posted by adept256 at 10:35 PM on March 10, 2023 [11 favorites]

adept256, there are no small parts, only small actors. I was not prepared for Schwarzenegger's total commitment to eating, making and posing with noodles. Thanks for this.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:05 AM on March 11, 2023 [5 favorites]

needs more intensity
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 3:07 AM on March 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

Not sure how I came across it (print? Is that possible in 2023?), but I read this article weeks ago and have been thinking about it off and on ever since. The man was and is the definition of bigger than life. In Pumping Iron and elsewhere he’s talked about his early fascination with people who lived big lives and were remembered for hundreds, if not thousands, of years (the extent to which this is an accurate representation of his thinking vs. public persona, I don’t know). He’s done a bunch of things I wouldn’t do and don’t approve of… and I also think humanity dodged a bullet. He has such charisma and willpower that I think he could have successfully pulled off terrible things. Instead, it was a mix of things, bad and good. I am glad for the good he’s done.
posted by cupcakeninja at 6:37 AM on March 11, 2023 [9 favorites]

I find body-building to be mysterious, so I read his memoir. He said he took up body-building to be the largest man in the room. This is a simple explanation.

I believe modern building goes for more size that what was around back then, and I wonder what he thinks of it.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 7:00 AM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

Roided out action stars lasted a decade?

Modern action stars are on way more gear. In the 80s you could make an action movie starring Harrison Ford or Michael Douglas and nobody batted an eye.

We didn’t even have enough steroids to make Rocks and Cenas Back then.
posted by The Monster at the End of this Thread at 7:21 AM on March 11, 2023 [7 favorites]

Yes! Looking at comparative photos of current or aging-out-of-current movie stars in various roles, it's jarring (e.g. Hugh Jackman comparison of different portrayals of Wolverine), to say nothing of the various memoirs and tell-alls from Hollywood actors over the years about the terrible things done to their bodies to achieve this or that look on screen. For all that Arnold was on gear, plenty of big guys in his day were not, and the default in action movies wasn't a look impossible to achieve without surgery or drugs. These days the body dysmorphia and eating disorder-inducing demands are equal opportunity.
posted by cupcakeninja at 7:40 AM on March 11, 2023 [3 favorites]

"Fuck Arnold. He's done an amazing PR job of trying to remember him fondly and forget about what a shithead he is. Fuck that."

So: a politician.

Also: Plo Chops.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 8:19 AM on March 11, 2023 [5 favorites]

I wonder if some of that isn't starting to change. Sure, Chris Hemsworth got beefed back up for the latest Thor movie, and even Natalie Portman worked on her guns, but Oscar Isaac didn't seem to do the same for Moon Knight, ditto Paul Rudd for Quantumania, and Tenoch Huerta gave us the first Namor without visible cum gutters. And She-Hulk's emerald beef was all CGI.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:41 AM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

"Fuck Arnold. He's done an amazing PR job of trying to remember him fondly and forget about what a shithead he is. Fuck that."

So: a politician.

Nah, let’s not do this both-sides They’re All Crooks bullshit.
posted by Etrigan at 11:51 AM on March 11, 2023 [12 favorites]

And as The Governator he was HORRIBLE and governed from what at the time was pretty damn right. (Now he'd be like middle of the road republican.) Anti gay marriage. Significant austerity in response to economic downturn. Vetos up the wazoo. Repeat abuse of special elections in an attempt to get unpopular legislation approved. And much more. (Oh and he was supposedly VERY gropey to women, no surprise.)

All those things are true (though I only remember voting in one special election). Yet he also signed into law a lot of bills that made it illegal to discriminate against LGBTQ+ people at the same time he was against marriage equality. AB1400 added "discrimination on the basis of marital status or sexual orientation" to California's civil rights law. It certainly does not make him a hero, but I am thankful that those bills were passed, many a few years before California voters stupidly voted yes on prop 8.

He also was far better on the environment than any other republican at the time, and certainly better than any republican now. AB 32 was a huge deal.
posted by oneirodynia at 12:44 PM on March 11, 2023 [12 favorites]

I worked for the University of California when he was governor, so he was my boss' boss' boss' boss. I was in the fundraising department and we produced a book for a giant proposal that had his name embossed in gold letters across the cover:

SCHWARZENEGGER
posted by kirkaracha at 1:49 PM on March 11, 2023 [3 favorites]

Arnold’s first couple of years as governor featured all the rightist BS noted above. He got his ass handed to him when he tried to have it enacted via a special election. The California Nurses Association delivered much of the bludgeoning.

He pivoted back to the center, center-left even, after that and for the remainder of his governorship.

Anyway. Here’s Arnold and friends at breakfast.
posted by notyou at 1:57 PM on March 11, 2023 [6 favorites]

I seem to remember that a lot of the good bills he signed were passed with veto proof majorities. (Although to be fair that was a long time ago and I could be confused.)

The thing is he came in and fought some ugly "culture war" type battles early and often. Fuck that man I refuse to let him rehabilitate himself as good'un.

(Also he wasn't the Governator, he was the Gropenator...)
posted by aspo at 2:35 PM on March 11, 2023 [4 favorites]

Arnold seems pretty melancholy. Or maybe that's just the article's spin. So much time spent reminiscing sadly about the past. We need a movie like The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent where he can play himself, go on a wacky adventure, and not be taken too seriously.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 11:19 PM on March 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

Whatever one's opinion of Arnold, I'm pretty uncomfortable with "anything to say before you die" articles.
posted by Billiken at 7:31 AM on March 13, 2023 [2 favorites]