Free Thread #69
April 24, 2023 2:13 AM Subscribe
Hello, here is your free thread for the week!
(There's been some discussion of moving this weekly thread to a community-driven post model, so folks might want to confabulate a bit on that in Metatalk and maybe set up a poster schedule! PS on today's post title.)
(There's been some discussion of moving this weekly thread to a community-driven post model, so folks might want to confabulate a bit on that in Metatalk and maybe set up a poster schedule! PS on today's post title.)
So my son (who is almost 9), loves playing piano. He has a tutor who comes and teaches him and she says he is doing quite well. The thing is, though, that of course the tutor would say that so we keep paying, right? And my wife and I can't play piano, so we really don't know if it is going well or not. Since he likes it, though, we aren't that worried about it for the time being.
That being said, it made me wonder about playing music. If you can play chords or whatever and things that sound musical, that means there is a correct way to play, right? But how about the opposite? Is it possible to be perfectly atonal? Is there an absolutely wrong way to play music? Like rather than an unstructured pounding on keys, is it possible to make worse sounds by following some sort of structure?
posted by Literaryhero at 3:06 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
That being said, it made me wonder about playing music. If you can play chords or whatever and things that sound musical, that means there is a correct way to play, right? But how about the opposite? Is it possible to be perfectly atonal? Is there an absolutely wrong way to play music? Like rather than an unstructured pounding on keys, is it possible to make worse sounds by following some sort of structure?
posted by Literaryhero at 3:06 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
Sure, you could make "wrong" music. I mean, there are never any hard and fast rules in music, and there's no absolute/objective notion of correctness. But any given genre or style is going to have its own loose guidelines/expectations, and you could consciously subvert them at every turn. In ways that a musician (or even an untrained listener) would definitely recognize as being deliberately "wrong" rather than just random.
posted by equalpants at 3:29 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by equalpants at 3:29 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
The thing is, though, that of course the tutor would say that so we keep paying, right?
Not necessarily - I had two separate piano teachers fire me as a kid because I wasn't progressing fast enough.
(This is more likely to happen if the piano teachers are affiliated with a formal musical educational institution, even if lessons are theoretically "open to all comers" without pre-requisites.)
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 3:29 AM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
Not necessarily - I had two separate piano teachers fire me as a kid because I wasn't progressing fast enough.
(This is more likely to happen if the piano teachers are affiliated with a formal musical educational institution, even if lessons are theoretically "open to all comers" without pre-requisites.)
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 3:29 AM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
Bill Bailey has a great introduction to the orchestra where he sets up at least some of the jokes by doing things wrong or by pointing out how what’s “right” isn’t always what you expect particularly for bassoons.
posted by rickw at 3:46 AM on April 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by rickw at 3:46 AM on April 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
As with many skills, having a basis in the "right" way to do things is much the best way to move on to doing things the "wrong" way. However, enjoyment trumps anything else. If they are having fun then they will progress because they'll keep at it. Learning music changes your brain in good ways.
posted by bifurcated at 3:49 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by bifurcated at 3:49 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
To my great joy, my piano teacher fired me six weeks in, but that was a mutual decision. The rest of my family is intensely musical and they couldn't imagine that I wasn't.
I am actually very fond of music, and my kid and I sang together all the time, but I was averse to being controlled.
posted by Peach at 3:54 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
I am actually very fond of music, and my kid and I sang together all the time, but I was averse to being controlled.
posted by Peach at 3:54 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
I just read an incredibly good Blake/Avon story (Blake's 7) by @x_los
that made me laugh and made me cry (so much that I used up a whole box of tissues!).
It's sort of a happy ending, and sort of bittersweet.
Rojer
Summary: Taking down the Federation might actually be easier than sorting out what's going on with Rojer's parents.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 4:04 AM on April 24, 2023
that made me laugh and made me cry (so much that I used up a whole box of tissues!).
It's sort of a happy ending, and sort of bittersweet.
Rojer
Summary: Taking down the Federation might actually be easier than sorting out what's going on with Rojer's parents.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 4:04 AM on April 24, 2023
Free Thread #69
Paging Elon Musk, Elon Musk to the free thread...
posted by rory at 4:21 AM on April 24, 2023
Paging Elon Musk, Elon Musk to the free thread...
posted by rory at 4:21 AM on April 24, 2023
Paging Elon Musk, Elon Musk to the free thread...
GET OUT
posted by curious nu at 4:24 AM on April 24, 2023 [14 favorites]
GET OUT
posted by curious nu at 4:24 AM on April 24, 2023 [14 favorites]
Time for my Monday Free Thread music recommendation again. This week it's Eugenic Device by Creation Rebel & The New Age Steppers.
posted by Paul Slade at 4:52 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Paul Slade at 4:52 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
I surprised a skunk on a late night walk. Are they adorable when they're angry, or what? I almost went closer going "Aww ..." until I remembered their superpower.
Also went to a hamfest on the weekend, my first in ages (plus the first I'd seen restarting after The Thing). I picked up some pointless stuff, including an HP300LX, a terrible pocket computer that ran Windows CE (very slowly) from two AA batteries with the worst display ever
posted by scruss at 4:55 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
Also went to a hamfest on the weekend, my first in ages (plus the first I'd seen restarting after The Thing). I picked up some pointless stuff, including an HP300LX, a terrible pocket computer that ran Windows CE (very slowly) from two AA batteries with the worst display ever
posted by scruss at 4:55 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
Also went to a hamfest on the weekend
I don't know why this took me so long to properly parse, but as much as I like amateur radio, I want to believe in the other type of hamfest.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:08 AM on April 24, 2023 [15 favorites]
I don't know why this took me so long to properly parse, but as much as I like amateur radio, I want to believe in the other type of hamfest.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:08 AM on April 24, 2023 [15 favorites]
So here I am, sitting in an airplane, waiting to land in ATL for my connection and reading Ars Technica (as one does) and there's this delightful article about The Great Attractor that is SO well-written and completely (by, like, 80% of the article!) buried the lede, which is that Dark Energy is counteracting gravity and eventually we'll reverse our cosmic direction and ....
Like, what????? So I go look at NASA's science site (duck duck go search hit) And learn that "roughly 68% of the universe is dark energy. Dark matter makes up about 27%. The rest - everything on Earth, everything ever observed with all of our instruments, all normal matter - adds up to less than 5% of the universe."
Astonishing. I'm astonished. It's 7:00 AM my time and it is just too early for my poor little brain to receive this.
I fucken love science, y'all. I love it.
posted by ZakDaddy at 5:12 AM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
Like, what????? So I go look at NASA's science site (duck duck go search hit) And learn that "roughly 68% of the universe is dark energy. Dark matter makes up about 27%. The rest - everything on Earth, everything ever observed with all of our instruments, all normal matter - adds up to less than 5% of the universe."
Astonishing. I'm astonished. It's 7:00 AM my time and it is just too early for my poor little brain to receive this.
I fucken love science, y'all. I love it.
posted by ZakDaddy at 5:12 AM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
I'd like to light a candle of joy...
Back around Christmas, the power went out for a day and a half and it was freezing but we were away and unable to look after the house. When we got back it was a warm spell and everything was OK except the hot tub was leaking. I called the place I got it from to get someone too look at it, but they never called back. I didn't have time to deal with it myself, so I covered it us as well as I could to wait for Spring. When I opened it up 2 weeks ago, the water level had dropped to about 6", and it was frozen solid. I assumed that there were cracked pipes all over from the freezing. I opened the lid to let the ice melt.
I put in a little more water, and the leak was still there, so I opened up the joint and found it was a simple compression fitting. So I tightened it up and filled up the tub, and turned it back on.
That was it. (so far, at least) Last night we got in it and it was wonderful.
posted by MtDewd at 5:22 AM on April 24, 2023 [12 favorites]
Back around Christmas, the power went out for a day and a half and it was freezing but we were away and unable to look after the house. When we got back it was a warm spell and everything was OK except the hot tub was leaking. I called the place I got it from to get someone too look at it, but they never called back. I didn't have time to deal with it myself, so I covered it us as well as I could to wait for Spring. When I opened it up 2 weeks ago, the water level had dropped to about 6", and it was frozen solid. I assumed that there were cracked pipes all over from the freezing. I opened the lid to let the ice melt.
I put in a little more water, and the leak was still there, so I opened up the joint and found it was a simple compression fitting. So I tightened it up and filled up the tub, and turned it back on.
That was it. (so far, at least) Last night we got in it and it was wonderful.
posted by MtDewd at 5:22 AM on April 24, 2023 [12 favorites]
MtDewd, I love this! It's so satisfying when you become your own handyperson and fix something you might have thought was outside your wheelhouse.
posted by Night_owl at 5:39 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Night_owl at 5:39 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
Things are a bit rough here. My father in law passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly last week, leaving my husband and I suddenly responsible for the care needs of my mother in law. He was a bit of a collector, so we've catalogued so much model railway, and there have to be at least sixty fishing rods. I also straight up face planted after going to my knees while skating the other day, so my legs are a modern art piece in yellows and purples, and I have a thankfully superficial wound covering most of my chin which itches like mad. Much tea is being consumed to get through things.
posted by Dysk at 5:42 AM on April 24, 2023 [20 favorites]
posted by Dysk at 5:42 AM on April 24, 2023 [20 favorites]
I moved to Milwaukee just about two weeks ago, but my boxes didn't. It's been mildly stressful but mostly all right - but yesterday my cat's claw punched a hole in the air mattress. (Why is my cat allowed on the air mattress? Because otherwise, she would be sad).
So I put on a patch, put on another patch when that didn't work, woke up twice in the night because the mattress deflated and I was sleeping on the floor, and have just superglued a third patch which I hope will work because superglue is presumably stronger than the adhesive in the patch kits.
Otherwise it'll be a new air mattress, and my cat will be forced to sleep in the living room for the duration.
posted by Jeanne at 5:44 AM on April 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
So I put on a patch, put on another patch when that didn't work, woke up twice in the night because the mattress deflated and I was sleeping on the floor, and have just superglued a third patch which I hope will work because superglue is presumably stronger than the adhesive in the patch kits.
Otherwise it'll be a new air mattress, and my cat will be forced to sleep in the living room for the duration.
posted by Jeanne at 5:44 AM on April 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
MtDewd, I am envious of the ease of your repair!
One of the gates to the backyard broke recently, just snapped off the hinge. It looks like a traditional big heavy wooden gate like this, where there's a heavy frame made of 2x4s with thin pickets covering it.
On closer inspection of the damage, I noticed that instead of attaching the hinge to the frame, whoever built this thing had attached the hinge only to the picket, so there was this poor little thin picket holding up a 50-pound wooden door, no wonder it snapped. And I kind of laughed, I mean, people make weird decisions building things, this house is 120 years old, we've encountered a lot of questionable home improvement.
On even closer inspection, I realized... I realized that the frame pieces are not actually attached to each other. They are just loose, unconnected pieces that are cut to the right size and look like they would be connected by screws and brackets etc as one would do to make a frame, but no, they are loose pieces of wood that were laid out into the shape of a frame but attached only to the pickets. They hold no weight. Instead, I have a gate that was constructed out of load-bearing pickets with random individual heavy pieces of 2x4 hanging off of them. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry, so I have been doing both.
And hey, taz, thanks again for all the free threads and the metatalktails you've done. I've really enjoyed everyone's comments. They've been a light.
posted by mochapickle at 6:00 AM on April 24, 2023 [9 favorites]
One of the gates to the backyard broke recently, just snapped off the hinge. It looks like a traditional big heavy wooden gate like this, where there's a heavy frame made of 2x4s with thin pickets covering it.
On closer inspection of the damage, I noticed that instead of attaching the hinge to the frame, whoever built this thing had attached the hinge only to the picket, so there was this poor little thin picket holding up a 50-pound wooden door, no wonder it snapped. And I kind of laughed, I mean, people make weird decisions building things, this house is 120 years old, we've encountered a lot of questionable home improvement.
On even closer inspection, I realized... I realized that the frame pieces are not actually attached to each other. They are just loose, unconnected pieces that are cut to the right size and look like they would be connected by screws and brackets etc as one would do to make a frame, but no, they are loose pieces of wood that were laid out into the shape of a frame but attached only to the pickets. They hold no weight. Instead, I have a gate that was constructed out of load-bearing pickets with random individual heavy pieces of 2x4 hanging off of them. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry, so I have been doing both.
And hey, taz, thanks again for all the free threads and the metatalktails you've done. I've really enjoyed everyone's comments. They've been a light.
posted by mochapickle at 6:00 AM on April 24, 2023 [9 favorites]
On Saturday I pretended I was 35 and with a friend and a motor-powered post-hole digger (that was about five feet tall standing on its auger) we dug some French drains for his new house.
Unfortunately, my body wasn't in on the joke.
posted by From Bklyn at 6:07 AM on April 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
Unfortunately, my body wasn't in on the joke.
posted by From Bklyn at 6:07 AM on April 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
I gave in and started up the swamp cooler yesterday. It’s actually been a decent spring, with only one or two heat spikes, so we’ve gotten away with just fans and the room AC when needed. It’s been low 90s for the past few days, and it hasn’t been bad in the house. However, I’m going on a trip next week and need to have things set up so Mrs. azpenguin and the pups can stay cool if needed. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the breeze from the swamp cooler when the conditions are right - it doesn't work well at all during monsoon season, though - but I'm waiting for the Inflation Reduction Act HVAC rebates to go live. It's time to put AC on the house. I work with home improvement contractors and I'll call one of them to get us set up. I'm getting too old to keep fighting with the cooler and sweating through July and August when it's too humid for the swampbox to work well.
Still training for that bike event in May. I have less than five weeks to get in the shape I need to be to finish the ride. And... I think I'm actually about there. I'd been training for it since December, and felt like I wasn't really making significant progress for a while, which left me wondering if I was going to have a chance to pull this off. A month ago I took a shot at going up the mountain here, and I got to milepost 10. It was the first time I thought I might actually have a chance to make it. I've done a couple of other rides up, getting further each time, first to MP14, then to MP20. Saturday I made it all the way up which was a hell of a feeling. It's similar to the distance and gain the event covers (I had 6600 feet of climbing on the ride.) I might actually be able to get this done.
posted by azpenguin at 6:16 AM on April 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
Still training for that bike event in May. I have less than five weeks to get in the shape I need to be to finish the ride. And... I think I'm actually about there. I'd been training for it since December, and felt like I wasn't really making significant progress for a while, which left me wondering if I was going to have a chance to pull this off. A month ago I took a shot at going up the mountain here, and I got to milepost 10. It was the first time I thought I might actually have a chance to make it. I've done a couple of other rides up, getting further each time, first to MP14, then to MP20. Saturday I made it all the way up which was a hell of a feeling. It's similar to the distance and gain the event covers (I had 6600 feet of climbing on the ride.) I might actually be able to get this done.
posted by azpenguin at 6:16 AM on April 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
My life at the moment has been inadvertently consumed by swearing at the extended Carus Wilson family, who kept giving their sons the same names. This is not convenient for twenty-first century literary historians who need to keep William Wilson Carus Wilson, William Carus Wilson* (and his son William Wilson Carus Wilson), and William Carus separate. In fact, it wasn't even convenient for anyone in the nineteenth century, as I've stumbled across multiple instances now of writers getting them confused.
Anyway, I'm in the process of doing several years of COVID-delayed research travel in one go, so having returned from the UK at the beginning of the month, I'm getting ready to go to Austin TX to use the Harry Ransom Center.
*--Better known as Mr. Brocklehurst in Jane Eyre
posted by thomas j wise at 6:20 AM on April 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
Anyway, I'm in the process of doing several years of COVID-delayed research travel in one go, so having returned from the UK at the beginning of the month, I'm getting ready to go to Austin TX to use the Harry Ransom Center.
*--Better known as Mr. Brocklehurst in Jane Eyre
posted by thomas j wise at 6:20 AM on April 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
Hi, as one of FanFare's most obsessive movie nerds, I would like to beg all of you to watch the trailer for Polite Society, the new film from Nida Manzoor (We Are Lady Parts), because I am just about positive all of you will adore it. Such a fun movie and it's going to need word of mouth to succeed.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:46 AM on April 24, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:46 AM on April 24, 2023 [9 favorites]
Discovered last night metal number punches and leather number punches are radically different and that the former basically don't work for the latter's purpose.
posted by Mitheral at 6:59 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Mitheral at 6:59 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
DirtyOldTown, thank you for bringing that to my attention! It's opening at one of my local theatres this weekend and I'm definitely squeezing that in! (We are entering the over scheduled weekend season. I am a "2 Events a Weekend, At the Most" person, alas. This and the book festival/Independent Bookstore Day are making the cut.)
posted by the primroses were over at 6:59 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by the primroses were over at 6:59 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
Hi, as one of FanFare's most obsessive movie nerds, I would like to beg all of you to watch the trailer for Polite Society, the new film from Nida Manzoor (We Are Lady Parts), because I am just about positive all of you will adore it. Such a fun movie and it's going to need word of mouth to succeed.
Yes, I'm looking forward to that - I LOVED We Are Lady Parts.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:01 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
Yes, I'm looking forward to that - I LOVED We Are Lady Parts.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:01 AM on April 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
Spouse was put on a three month PIP last week. There are definitely issues that need resolved, but there are also some red flags that have sent him back onto the job market - even if he makes it through the PIP successfully, the red flags remain. This news came the day after I gritted my teeth and paid off a rather punitive return to the IRS - which was caused by a screw up to the deductions on his check.
If the initial responses to his resume are any indication, there are a lot of recruiters out there who are very much in the business of trying to screw over workers. This morning's gem was for a contract position that was WFH 4 days, in office 1 day. Except that the office is 100+ miles from our home, he would be expect to start in office to "ensure he meshes will with the team" and there was ZERO information on whether he would be reimbursed for time, travel and housing.
We will be OK. I had not booked vacation travel, so those funds are freed up and I have spent the last 10 years saving like it was my second job. But it feels very much like things kind of suck right now.
*--Better known as Mr. Brocklehurst in Jane Eyre
One of my favorite love to hate characters of all time.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 7:02 AM on April 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
If the initial responses to his resume are any indication, there are a lot of recruiters out there who are very much in the business of trying to screw over workers. This morning's gem was for a contract position that was WFH 4 days, in office 1 day. Except that the office is 100+ miles from our home, he would be expect to start in office to "ensure he meshes will with the team" and there was ZERO information on whether he would be reimbursed for time, travel and housing.
We will be OK. I had not booked vacation travel, so those funds are freed up and I have spent the last 10 years saving like it was my second job. But it feels very much like things kind of suck right now.
*--Better known as Mr. Brocklehurst in Jane Eyre
One of my favorite love to hate characters of all time.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 7:02 AM on April 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
As I mentioned in my last free thread post, I had tickets for my wife and I to go see Caitlin Doughty (previously) last Thursday.
The day before the event, I got an email from someone related to the event, saying they were the facilitator for Table 33 and if there were any points of discussion we wanted to make ahead of time to just let her know.
On doing a little more digging I found that this wasn't a "everyone sits together theater-style in silence and watches someone speak" event, it is something called a "Brave Conversations" (which seems like A Thing with a website but I couldn't find it) event, where they have a speaker for a while, a discussion time among the attendees about what the speaker said, the speaker returns for a bit, and then there's a long question and answer period.
So, although my wife and I are quite friendly and genial people, we are not...people people, we like to quietly do our thing without interpersonal interaction. So, the creeping horror I felt upon realizing what I bought tickets for almost made me think maybe we shouldn't go.
I'm less bothered by doing collaborative things with strangers in public so I could probably get through it, but my wife is way more socially anxious than me, not in a debilitating way but she does not like it at all. However, she's the bigger Caitlin Doughty fan, and she actually did a large project in college about the impact of Western death rituals on the environment so this was really an event for her.
So, I did the only thing I could think of: I did not tell my wife about the format of the evening.
Long story short -- well, it's not really a long story, we went and had a really good time, my Plan B of us sneaking out quietly if social anxiety got too unbearable wasn't needed (my wife didn't even take a smoke break), and we were at a table of like minded people and the discussion time was formatted well -- hence the 'facilitator' -- and Caitlin Doughty is a very good speaker.
One other person at our table was worse off than us: she, probably in her early twenties, was attending as a friend of a capital-letter Super Fan and did not really know who Caitlin Doughty was, so she not only went to see someone speak who she did not really care to hear, but then was expected to participate in a half-hour discussion with a table full of people her parents' age regarding the moral considerations of how her own corpse should be handled upon her death.
This week I'm expanding on the "tempting social anxiety" trend: I, at almost 50 years old, recently enrolled in college to get a film degree, and there's two events this week: one, when I enrolled there is a "join these clubs!" portion, and the Film Appreciation Club that I signed up for is having a showing of The Shining on Tuesday, and on Friday is the Graduating Film Student Final Project event, both of which I'm planning on going to.
The major source of anxiety here is "acceptance" -- I don't actually start class for two weeks so I haven't really met any other students. The Final Project event should be OK because my brain says "maybe they'll just think you're a parent", but for the Film Club I really have to fill the role of 'fellow student' and don't want to come across like Steve Buscemi carrying two skateboards. I'm pretty sure that things should be fine, and if it turns out the Film Club is really cliquey and not receptive of some old dude joining then that's more on them than me. But, all this is a great distance outside my usual comfort zone...but that's kinda the point, I don't expand my own life unless I try this sort of stuff out.
posted by AzraelBrown at 7:04 AM on April 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
The day before the event, I got an email from someone related to the event, saying they were the facilitator for Table 33 and if there were any points of discussion we wanted to make ahead of time to just let her know.
On doing a little more digging I found that this wasn't a "everyone sits together theater-style in silence and watches someone speak" event, it is something called a "Brave Conversations" (which seems like A Thing with a website but I couldn't find it) event, where they have a speaker for a while, a discussion time among the attendees about what the speaker said, the speaker returns for a bit, and then there's a long question and answer period.
So, although my wife and I are quite friendly and genial people, we are not...people people, we like to quietly do our thing without interpersonal interaction. So, the creeping horror I felt upon realizing what I bought tickets for almost made me think maybe we shouldn't go.
I'm less bothered by doing collaborative things with strangers in public so I could probably get through it, but my wife is way more socially anxious than me, not in a debilitating way but she does not like it at all. However, she's the bigger Caitlin Doughty fan, and she actually did a large project in college about the impact of Western death rituals on the environment so this was really an event for her.
So, I did the only thing I could think of: I did not tell my wife about the format of the evening.
Long story short -- well, it's not really a long story, we went and had a really good time, my Plan B of us sneaking out quietly if social anxiety got too unbearable wasn't needed (my wife didn't even take a smoke break), and we were at a table of like minded people and the discussion time was formatted well -- hence the 'facilitator' -- and Caitlin Doughty is a very good speaker.
One other person at our table was worse off than us: she, probably in her early twenties, was attending as a friend of a capital-letter Super Fan and did not really know who Caitlin Doughty was, so she not only went to see someone speak who she did not really care to hear, but then was expected to participate in a half-hour discussion with a table full of people her parents' age regarding the moral considerations of how her own corpse should be handled upon her death.
This week I'm expanding on the "tempting social anxiety" trend: I, at almost 50 years old, recently enrolled in college to get a film degree, and there's two events this week: one, when I enrolled there is a "join these clubs!" portion, and the Film Appreciation Club that I signed up for is having a showing of The Shining on Tuesday, and on Friday is the Graduating Film Student Final Project event, both of which I'm planning on going to.
The major source of anxiety here is "acceptance" -- I don't actually start class for two weeks so I haven't really met any other students. The Final Project event should be OK because my brain says "maybe they'll just think you're a parent", but for the Film Club I really have to fill the role of 'fellow student' and don't want to come across like Steve Buscemi carrying two skateboards. I'm pretty sure that things should be fine, and if it turns out the Film Club is really cliquey and not receptive of some old dude joining then that's more on them than me. But, all this is a great distance outside my usual comfort zone...but that's kinda the point, I don't expand my own life unless I try this sort of stuff out.
posted by AzraelBrown at 7:04 AM on April 24, 2023 [8 favorites]
My feral cat update for the week is dire and full of trepidation.
Flurb passed away a couple of days ago; his ongoing health problems turned out to be from FeLV. I got a message that night that another cat from my colony who'd tested positive for FeLV passed away that same day.
It's possible, even likely, that the rest of my colony has caught the disease as well. I'm out trapping every night now, trying to catch the elusive grey kitty who shows up every so often (or possibly two elusive grey kitties, not sure) but I haven't even seen them in a week or more. I hope they're okay.
I had no idea when I started to feed two starving kittens a couple of years ago that I might be signing myself up for a whole epic Shakespearean cat tragedy.
posted by MrVisible at 7:27 AM on April 24, 2023 [13 favorites]
Flurb passed away a couple of days ago; his ongoing health problems turned out to be from FeLV. I got a message that night that another cat from my colony who'd tested positive for FeLV passed away that same day.
It's possible, even likely, that the rest of my colony has caught the disease as well. I'm out trapping every night now, trying to catch the elusive grey kitty who shows up every so often (or possibly two elusive grey kitties, not sure) but I haven't even seen them in a week or more. I hope they're okay.
I had no idea when I started to feed two starving kittens a couple of years ago that I might be signing myself up for a whole epic Shakespearean cat tragedy.
posted by MrVisible at 7:27 AM on April 24, 2023 [13 favorites]
Dysk, you have my thoughts - not only the loss but all the work in the wake of the loss. Sending you good vibes.
I was out in the East Bay for work last week and after fumbling around with the rental car radio for a day or two finally remembered 90.7 is KALX Berkeley. They played me some Neko Case, so I've been revisiting Fox Confessor Brings the Flood for a week now, such a good record.
The atmospheric rivers have left so many flowers in their wake - just to walk around the neighborhood and peep everyone's yard is such a joy. And I went on a brief steep walk up Derby Canyon behind the Cal campus and was rewarded with many poppies and lupins.
Now I'm back in chilly rural Ohio but we are also starting to bloom - the dogwoods are out, the peonies are up, the Virginia Bluebells and mayapples are back, the daffodils are over. All my trees are leafing, all the pollen is dropping. I must turn the garden.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 7:28 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
I was out in the East Bay for work last week and after fumbling around with the rental car radio for a day or two finally remembered 90.7 is KALX Berkeley. They played me some Neko Case, so I've been revisiting Fox Confessor Brings the Flood for a week now, such a good record.
The atmospheric rivers have left so many flowers in their wake - just to walk around the neighborhood and peep everyone's yard is such a joy. And I went on a brief steep walk up Derby Canyon behind the Cal campus and was rewarded with many poppies and lupins.
Now I'm back in chilly rural Ohio but we are also starting to bloom - the dogwoods are out, the peonies are up, the Virginia Bluebells and mayapples are back, the daffodils are over. All my trees are leafing, all the pollen is dropping. I must turn the garden.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 7:28 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
@Dysk, I wish you all the best. My mom passed in 2018, following my dad in 2010, and a sibling and I handled the estate on behalf of the 4 of us. Right up to this year we were dealing with some tax issues, it is such a thankless task. I think back to 2019 or so, speaking with someone who used to work at the bank and she said: "being named an executor is not an honour, it's a predicament" and I totally get it.
my partner handled her parents' affairs all on her lonesome and a single mom to boot and I go to that when I'm thinking of exemplars of strength. some people have it, me not so much
posted by elkevelvet at 7:40 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
my partner handled her parents' affairs all on her lonesome and a single mom to boot and I go to that when I'm thinking of exemplars of strength. some people have it, me not so much
posted by elkevelvet at 7:40 AM on April 24, 2023 [3 favorites]
Found out today a relative won't need an operation, so yay! I have been diligent with working out after a pause of a few months, and it always makes me feel better.
I should get back to piano - it's one of those things where having the right conditions can be tricky and then I self sabotage unless I can get on a roll and keep at it. Maybe tonight?
posted by ersatz at 7:42 AM on April 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
I should get back to piano - it's one of those things where having the right conditions can be tricky and then I self sabotage unless I can get on a roll and keep at it. Maybe tonight?
posted by ersatz at 7:42 AM on April 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
If you can play chords or whatever and things that sound musical, that means there is a correct way to play, right? But how about the opposite? Is it possible to be perfectly atonal? Is there an absolutely wrong way to play music?
Okay, so there are a lot of ways to play the piano, and some of them are going to be more fruitful paths than others.
Elton John has made an entire career out of doing simple small chords and rolling progressions without a lot of piano melody work. He doesn't have a lot of strong scales and fingering skills and his hands can barely reach an octave, but he's done quite well for himself.
Once you know the chords and how they relate, you can get by really well. Reading music is a very useful skill, and with this level of playing mastery plus music reading you can, say, basically play anything in a standard old fashioned church hymnal.
Doing more advanced study gets into things like fingering (how do you get your fingers to play notes in an order that lets your hands move smoothly across the keys) and voicing (how can you play 8 notes at once and have a melody line sound louder than the other notes) and things that really get into refining your muscle memory.
It's the development of this muscle memory, and further refining it, that leads to real piano playing mastery. So much of really high level piano study is true drudgery -- doing exercises or repeating passages over and over so you don't have to think about what your hands are doing, and instead can focus on how your hands are expressing what they're doing.
Pianist Jeremy Denk has a book out, Every Good Boy Does Fine, which gets a bit into this level of study, mixing it with a bit of biography. It might be an interesting read.
So, the long and short of it is... you can do a lot with a little on the piano (it's more effort than the guitar, though), but if one really digs in and does the study, you can do a whole lot more.
posted by hippybear at 8:19 AM on April 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
Okay, so there are a lot of ways to play the piano, and some of them are going to be more fruitful paths than others.
Elton John has made an entire career out of doing simple small chords and rolling progressions without a lot of piano melody work. He doesn't have a lot of strong scales and fingering skills and his hands can barely reach an octave, but he's done quite well for himself.
Once you know the chords and how they relate, you can get by really well. Reading music is a very useful skill, and with this level of playing mastery plus music reading you can, say, basically play anything in a standard old fashioned church hymnal.
Doing more advanced study gets into things like fingering (how do you get your fingers to play notes in an order that lets your hands move smoothly across the keys) and voicing (how can you play 8 notes at once and have a melody line sound louder than the other notes) and things that really get into refining your muscle memory.
It's the development of this muscle memory, and further refining it, that leads to real piano playing mastery. So much of really high level piano study is true drudgery -- doing exercises or repeating passages over and over so you don't have to think about what your hands are doing, and instead can focus on how your hands are expressing what they're doing.
Pianist Jeremy Denk has a book out, Every Good Boy Does Fine, which gets a bit into this level of study, mixing it with a bit of biography. It might be an interesting read.
So, the long and short of it is... you can do a lot with a little on the piano (it's more effort than the guitar, though), but if one really digs in and does the study, you can do a whole lot more.
posted by hippybear at 8:19 AM on April 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
It's my birthday. I've taken the day off from work, am going to get my hair done, do lunch with some people after that, then go to rehearsal. There's not a whole lot one can do on a Monday birthday, so we'll see how it goes.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:21 AM on April 24, 2023 [15 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:21 AM on April 24, 2023 [15 favorites]
I went suddenly and unexpectedly bald over the winter and I have avoided sunburn until yesterday when I found myself at the park with the Tiny Monster without a hat.
It distresses me a bit because I think I have a superstitious desire to keep my scalp pristine and unweathered. Like I don’t want to clean outta hair’s room yet in case it decides to come home.
posted by The Monster at the End of this Thread at 8:37 AM on April 24, 2023 [10 favorites]
It distresses me a bit because I think I have a superstitious desire to keep my scalp pristine and unweathered. Like I don’t want to clean outta hair’s room yet in case it decides to come home.
posted by The Monster at the End of this Thread at 8:37 AM on April 24, 2023 [10 favorites]
Literaryhero, what you're describing sounds an awful lot like the music of Jandek. His work has been described as "the sounds aliens would make if they had only read about human music in books." It's very atonal and ... unique. You can find him on Spotify.
I'd also mention that Western music's division of the octave into twelve tones (ie. twelve piano keys to the octave) is arbitrary and there are plenty of other musical traditions that divide the octave differently. Search for "microtonal music" on youtube and you'll get plenty of examples.
posted by tom_r at 8:38 AM on April 24, 2023
I'd also mention that Western music's division of the octave into twelve tones (ie. twelve piano keys to the octave) is arbitrary and there are plenty of other musical traditions that divide the octave differently. Search for "microtonal music" on youtube and you'll get plenty of examples.
posted by tom_r at 8:38 AM on April 24, 2023
theBigRedKittyPurr: Spouse was put on a three month PIP last week. by
Oof, that sucks. PIPs are fake. They don't mean "We are giving you a chance to improve." They mean "We are preparing the documentation to fire you." Get them the hell out of there.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:53 AM on April 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
Oof, that sucks. PIPs are fake. They don't mean "We are giving you a chance to improve." They mean "We are preparing the documentation to fire you." Get them the hell out of there.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:53 AM on April 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
I heard some noises outside, went into the alley and picked up some old drainpipe -- and a rat came out! My dog tried to catch it, and then it went under the house. So now I know I have rats.
Thanks, Monday.
posted by suelac at 9:12 AM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
Thanks, Monday.
posted by suelac at 9:12 AM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
Hey, jenfullmoon, it’s my birthday too! Nothing Monday birthday high five!
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:25 AM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:25 AM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
I’ve been really sad lately. Today marks eleven years since my mother died, I still miss her so much. My best friend of over 35 years died two weeks ago from gastric cancer, and I’m still processing that. My niece’s husband has stage 4 pancreatic cancer, so we’re preparing for the possibility of a funeral to attend this year.
OTOH, I’m stil NEAD (no evidence of active disease) from my breast cancer, diagnosed and treated 3 years ago, so there’s that (and survivor guilt is a very real thing).
A nice, cheerful Monday.
posted by dbmcd at 9:45 AM on April 24, 2023 [13 favorites]
OTOH, I’m stil NEAD (no evidence of active disease) from my breast cancer, diagnosed and treated 3 years ago, so there’s that (and survivor guilt is a very real thing).
A nice, cheerful Monday.
posted by dbmcd at 9:45 AM on April 24, 2023 [13 favorites]
I got to see They Might Be Giants this week. I was able to stand in the second row of weirdos. Great stuff.
Saturday was our warmest day of the year so far--almost 70F! The local model rocket club had a launch. I brought my Snitch and Fat Boy and a glider built by a friend. The first two flew well. The glider was in my box with a motor already in it and it turned out to be way too little thrust; no damage though. Enjoyed hanging out with some of my old rocket buddies. I won't get to a high power launch til late June.
I continue to be quite fatigued from iron deficiency anemia. I slept 12 hours Saturday night which was a godsend. I have another dose of IV iron next week. I'm trying to exercise but I'm pretty limited in what I can do. My fitness has fallen from good to below average. My dream of hiking up some tall Cascade peak this year is fading.
posted by neuron at 9:57 AM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
Saturday was our warmest day of the year so far--almost 70F! The local model rocket club had a launch. I brought my Snitch and Fat Boy and a glider built by a friend. The first two flew well. The glider was in my box with a motor already in it and it turned out to be way too little thrust; no damage though. Enjoyed hanging out with some of my old rocket buddies. I won't get to a high power launch til late June.
I continue to be quite fatigued from iron deficiency anemia. I slept 12 hours Saturday night which was a godsend. I have another dose of IV iron next week. I'm trying to exercise but I'm pretty limited in what I can do. My fitness has fallen from good to below average. My dream of hiking up some tall Cascade peak this year is fading.
posted by neuron at 9:57 AM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
I had no idea Bill Bailey was so passionate about music and orchestra especially. I’ve only known him from Black Books and Never Mind the Bollocks. I spent a couple decades as a trumpet player in various bands and orchestras in the US and also a couple years in England as a student - I definitely played some of that “ba-rock” stuff. Thanks for the link.
posted by bendy at 10:08 AM on April 24, 2023
posted by bendy at 10:08 AM on April 24, 2023
This is a very Monday monday as work continues to be a terrifying shitshow about which I can say nothing. Confidentiality is a bitch.
However! I can bitch about the Other Grandmother, because she is here in my town for a week! She has a by all reports spacious and lovely air bnb by the beach 20 minutes away but instead of taking her son and our shared granddaughter there (my daughter was at work all weekend,) she seemed intent instead on planting herself in my living room and not budging. Polite comments failed to move her on both Saturday and Sunday and while she was very nice on Saturday, on Sunday the barbed commentary had begun. I do not see why this woman is my problem and I do not see why I have to have someone I barely know and do not like in my house when I am not there. So I got less polite. She was very pissed off and I hope to god it was enough to keep her at bay for the rest of the week but I suspect, as I am at work, that she is planted in my living room yet again. My daughter works on weekends so her mother in common law is her problem now, not mine, and she damn well better not be there when I get home tonight. I am also not going out for dinner with her as daughter has requested because enough is enough.
in good news though I am going on vacation in one week!!!1!! And I'm going to Canada! To Vancouver Island where I have never been! To see bitteroldpunk and elizarde who are never here much anymore but I am happy to report are in good health and spirits! Next week is my birthday week and I am so so excited and happy to be going away to celebrate it with dear old friends I never would have met if it wasn't for this place.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:26 AM on April 24, 2023 [17 favorites]
However! I can bitch about the Other Grandmother, because she is here in my town for a week! She has a by all reports spacious and lovely air bnb by the beach 20 minutes away but instead of taking her son and our shared granddaughter there (my daughter was at work all weekend,) she seemed intent instead on planting herself in my living room and not budging. Polite comments failed to move her on both Saturday and Sunday and while she was very nice on Saturday, on Sunday the barbed commentary had begun. I do not see why this woman is my problem and I do not see why I have to have someone I barely know and do not like in my house when I am not there. So I got less polite. She was very pissed off and I hope to god it was enough to keep her at bay for the rest of the week but I suspect, as I am at work, that she is planted in my living room yet again. My daughter works on weekends so her mother in common law is her problem now, not mine, and she damn well better not be there when I get home tonight. I am also not going out for dinner with her as daughter has requested because enough is enough.
in good news though I am going on vacation in one week!!!1!! And I'm going to Canada! To Vancouver Island where I have never been! To see bitteroldpunk and elizarde who are never here much anymore but I am happy to report are in good health and spirits! Next week is my birthday week and I am so so excited and happy to be going away to celebrate it with dear old friends I never would have met if it wasn't for this place.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:26 AM on April 24, 2023 [17 favorites]
Virtual hugs to all of y'all having a tough time.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:31 PM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:31 PM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
Oh my, so much interesting news, and sad news and good news from everyone. Hugs to all.
There is stuff I want to share, but I'm too tired. Meanwhile, I've made lasagne. While I was in Rome, some of the others had lasagne and I was so jealous. I never have lasagne in Rome, because it is normally really bad, but theirs looked gorgeous, and tonight I tried to reproduce it from just the visual memory (I didn't taste it, though we were otherwise quite good at sharing). It looked like my grandma's lasagne, and incidentally, she was on very good terms with the staff at the restaurant where my colleagues had it. A lot of bechamel and very little tomato. I didn't quite get it. I gave up on making my own pasta, and that was probably a mistake. Also, there should have been more layers. But it was still very good. Daughter made a delicious side salad.
posted by mumimor at 12:48 PM on April 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
There is stuff I want to share, but I'm too tired. Meanwhile, I've made lasagne. While I was in Rome, some of the others had lasagne and I was so jealous. I never have lasagne in Rome, because it is normally really bad, but theirs looked gorgeous, and tonight I tried to reproduce it from just the visual memory (I didn't taste it, though we were otherwise quite good at sharing). It looked like my grandma's lasagne, and incidentally, she was on very good terms with the staff at the restaurant where my colleagues had it. A lot of bechamel and very little tomato. I didn't quite get it. I gave up on making my own pasta, and that was probably a mistake. Also, there should have been more layers. But it was still very good. Daughter made a delicious side salad.
posted by mumimor at 12:48 PM on April 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
DirtyOldTown rest assured spouse is getting the hell out of there, as this PIP is at the behest of one person with a lot of influence who has decided they want spouse gone in spite of the independent assessment of multiple coworkers, former coworkers AND spouse's current manager (and I have no reason to disbelieve spouse on such details).
Tomorrow marks six years since my mom passed away, so I'm rather gloomy about that as well. I send out all the feels to everyone dealing with loss. May the waves be small and pass quickly.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 1:02 PM on April 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
Tomorrow marks six years since my mom passed away, so I'm rather gloomy about that as well. I send out all the feels to everyone dealing with loss. May the waves be small and pass quickly.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 1:02 PM on April 24, 2023 [6 favorites]
And mygothlaundry I am rooting for you that Other Grandmother is kept at bay for the rest of the week.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 1:06 PM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 1:06 PM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
There is a whole school of management in modern business in which managers determine Who Is To Blame for Everything and then go about the business of getting rid of them. When that's done, you find a new punching bag, rinse and repeat.
It's not only unkind, it's ineffective, but it's one of the dominant management styles of our time.
Even if the manager trying to scapegoat you got hit by a truck and was replaced, you'd still have the stink of the mark that other person had put on you and you'd be a target going forward.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:09 PM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
It's not only unkind, it's ineffective, but it's one of the dominant management styles of our time.
Even if the manager trying to scapegoat you got hit by a truck and was replaced, you'd still have the stink of the mark that other person had put on you and you'd be a target going forward.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:09 PM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
I made a FanFare Talk post about some of the trailers I'm most intrigued by currently. I'm calling it "Trailer Park."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:10 PM on April 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:10 PM on April 24, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have long suspected that my dog only wants to go for walks because of his very keen interest in scavenging. For instance, he can absolutely manage with two five minute walks a day if it's raining. But today he really made it clear that his purpose in life is eating stuff he finds.
We went on a very good evening walk, and about halfway, he found half of a whole grain baguette. After that, he had no other interests than getting that beautiful bread back home ASAP. He didn't even attempt to swallow it out there, as he often does. This treasure had to be brought home and savored in good time and style.
He is a big dog, and he just turned eleven, so from now on, I'm just happy for every day. But a loaf of bread is the least toxic food he has scoffed from the street. He has eaten tomatoey pizza, onions, chocolates, chicken bones, disgusting stuff I have no idea what was, and for the first many years, I raced to the vet every time. I'm always scared that someone might be putting out poisoned food. His favorite thing when we are at the farm is to steal from our local wolf's lair, which is stupid in so many ways.
But, today he was so happy and proud. I'll give him that joy.
posted by mumimor at 2:50 PM on April 24, 2023 [10 favorites]
We went on a very good evening walk, and about halfway, he found half of a whole grain baguette. After that, he had no other interests than getting that beautiful bread back home ASAP. He didn't even attempt to swallow it out there, as he often does. This treasure had to be brought home and savored in good time and style.
He is a big dog, and he just turned eleven, so from now on, I'm just happy for every day. But a loaf of bread is the least toxic food he has scoffed from the street. He has eaten tomatoey pizza, onions, chocolates, chicken bones, disgusting stuff I have no idea what was, and for the first many years, I raced to the vet every time. I'm always scared that someone might be putting out poisoned food. His favorite thing when we are at the farm is to steal from our local wolf's lair, which is stupid in so many ways.
But, today he was so happy and proud. I'll give him that joy.
posted by mumimor at 2:50 PM on April 24, 2023 [10 favorites]
He is a big dog, and he just turned eleven, so from now on, I'm just happy for every day.
I have a cat who is well over 10 years old, maybe over 15. And he's growing increasingly vocal with his inexplicable demands daily as he gets older and feels worse about life. (I think he has arthritis, for which he refuses nearly all treatment.) But I try to meet him where he is and give him whatever he seems to be indicating he wants/needs. Because, well, he's old and grumpy. And I hope someone will do the same with me when I'm like that.
posted by hippybear at 3:01 PM on April 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
I have a cat who is well over 10 years old, maybe over 15. And he's growing increasingly vocal with his inexplicable demands daily as he gets older and feels worse about life. (I think he has arthritis, for which he refuses nearly all treatment.) But I try to meet him where he is and give him whatever he seems to be indicating he wants/needs. Because, well, he's old and grumpy. And I hope someone will do the same with me when I'm like that.
posted by hippybear at 3:01 PM on April 24, 2023 [5 favorites]
Dogs aren't supposed to get chicken bones. They splinter and cause problems in their mouths, allegedly, maybe throughout there guts. Anyway, maybe it's an old wives tale.
My new kitten turns out not to be a fixed male. Nope she is an is an unspayed female. It took me a while to figure out her abrupt change of temperament, and stranger cats visiting the back yard, and her insistance on being an outside cat. Then I noticed the synchronised ticks down her chest wall. Yeah, I believed what I was told by her previous owner, it took a mountain of evidence...
posted by Oyéah at 4:11 PM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
My new kitten turns out not to be a fixed male. Nope she is an is an unspayed female. It took me a while to figure out her abrupt change of temperament, and stranger cats visiting the back yard, and her insistance on being an outside cat. Then I noticed the synchronised ticks down her chest wall. Yeah, I believed what I was told by her previous owner, it took a mountain of evidence...
posted by Oyéah at 4:11 PM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
A college friend of mine was such a good pianist and sight reader that he could play passages of, say, a Mozart sonata with one of the hands transposed by a semitone, to hilarious effect. Never failed to make me laugh. But I guess that’s so absolutely wrong it’s absolutely right.
posted by mubba at 4:37 PM on April 24, 2023
posted by mubba at 4:37 PM on April 24, 2023
Nothing Monday birthday high five!
You too! I have returned from Chinese food lunch and Oreo cake, followed by bookshopping. It's been a chill, nice day.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:03 PM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
You too! I have returned from Chinese food lunch and Oreo cake, followed by bookshopping. It's been a chill, nice day.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:03 PM on April 24, 2023 [7 favorites]
Nice.
posted by AlSweigart at 11:12 PM on April 24, 2023
posted by AlSweigart at 11:12 PM on April 24, 2023
Dogs aren't supposed to get chicken bones. They splinter and cause problems in their mouths, allegedly, maybe throughout there guts. Anyway, maybe it's an old wives tale.
I know, and they aren't supposed to eat tomatoes, onions and chocolates either. It's very stressful. Once he ate a kilo of chocolates. But I have come to accept that he has an unusually strong digestive system. I still don't feed him those things deliberately (obviously). But I've stopped panicking and racing to the vet at off hours. He does get sick sometimes, but it is never more serious than barfing on my brother's antique Kelim, which is bad, but not life threatening. (Said Kelim has now been cleaned perfectly and returned to brother).
His favorite food is avocados, which are very bad for him. We have to hide them on a top shelf, but he will try to get them by jumping on to the kitchen counter if we don't build a barricade of chairs. Sigh.
posted by mumimor at 12:14 AM on April 25, 2023 [5 favorites]
I know, and they aren't supposed to eat tomatoes, onions and chocolates either. It's very stressful. Once he ate a kilo of chocolates. But I have come to accept that he has an unusually strong digestive system. I still don't feed him those things deliberately (obviously). But I've stopped panicking and racing to the vet at off hours. He does get sick sometimes, but it is never more serious than barfing on my brother's antique Kelim, which is bad, but not life threatening. (Said Kelim has now been cleaned perfectly and returned to brother).
His favorite food is avocados, which are very bad for him. We have to hide them on a top shelf, but he will try to get them by jumping on to the kitchen counter if we don't build a barricade of chairs. Sigh.
posted by mumimor at 12:14 AM on April 25, 2023 [5 favorites]
as much as I like amateur radio, I want to believe in the other type of hamfest.
I USED TO HAVE THAT KIND! In my 20s I worked for a company that was a subsidiary of Precision Valve, the company that makes the little nozzles that go on spray cans. And at the time, they gave everyone in the company a 12-pound ham every Christmas. That no doubt was a boon to families - but I was a 20-something singleton who always head home to the family for Christmas by bus, so taking the ham with me was not an option. So I couldn't dispatch of the ham that way.
The first year this happened I was talking about this with the family, and my aunt had a genius idea - "just pick a random day in January, cook it up and have an open house build-your-own-sandwich party." I did that, and it went over so big that three years later, after I'd LEFT that company, I deliberately bought my own ham another couple years to continue things.
...
The latest here:
* I was in Los Angeles the week of the 10th, and it was awesome. I still need to process all the photos.
* LESS fun is the major dental surgery I'll be having next Monday. I had a root canal in a very back tooth about 15 years ago, and it was a bit of a shitshow job; the dentist left too much space between that tooth and the neighboring tooth, and over the past 15 years all kinds of stuff would get stuck there, and now there's a big cavity growing under my gum line and taking over BOTH teeth. They need to yank both and give me implants. ....But part of the reason why that root canal was a shitshow is because I have a really strong gag reflex, and that is RIGHT where it's at its worst. I told the dentist during our consult that "you're going to want to just knock me out, seriously", and he's prescribed me some sedatives and will also use laughing gas on me; my roommate is going to have to come escort me home after in the afternoon.
* But some promising news - while I was in Los Angeles, the building manager said that the exterminator was coming over on a Friday afternoon, for a one-time-only visit in addition to his regular schedule. And I think I knew why..... I've been having REGULAR talks with our exterminator during his regular visits because of an ongoing rat issue in our building; we've figured out that they're likely coming from the surrounding yards into our yard, and partying in our yard and sneaking into the walls. Then they go to their own yards where their own nests are. The last time he was here he pointed out all the places where he thought they would be - and all the places where it looked like the super had done a sort-of half-assed job to block their access.
Well: when I got back from Los Angeles, it looked like things were starting to change. I had told the exterminator last month that I'd occasionally heard rats under my bedroom windows - and there were brand new snap traps under my windows. The exterminator had pointed out some ivy climbing over the fence from the neighboring yard into our yard, and said rats could climb it up and over - and a couple days ago, the super was out there cutting it all back and bagging it up. And last month the exterminator pointed out some huge holes in another fence, and pointed out a rat hole in the yard just on the other side of one of those holes. And this morning, I noticed brand new chicken wire strung up the length of that fence, blocking that yard completely off.
So I think that the one-time-only exterminator visit was him dragging my super and the building manager out there to point all that out and say "so, look, me putting out bait is only going to do so much, here's some more stuff you can do." We shall see.
* This coming Saturday is the Grand Opening of our community garden for the season. They tried to make me the chair, but I told them I did NOT want that job (i would default to Stage Manager mode and that would be WAY too dictatorial). But instead, I offered to be a sort of Communications Officer - communications in the group is way too loosey-goosey, and an upgrade of that could help. We also have some very interested potential newcomers, and I think we'll have JUST enough open plots for them all to get a spot. ....And one of the newcomers might be a woman who was on a stroll and came to hang out while it was momentarily open while I was working on something a few weeks ago, and we got to chatting and she's awesome and I hope she gets in and we start hanging out more in general.
If nothing else I can start playing with the little container garden of tea herbs I started for the group overall again. That was fun, and contributed to some lovely ice cream batches. I also got the rest of the garden hooked on lemon verbena; I was so insistent on getting some I mail-ordered it, and everyone else looked at me all "okay, that's a little obsessive," but whenever I encouraged people to smell it they realized "oh, hang on, this is wonderful." A nice big sprig of it is enough for a lovely cup of tea - strip off the leaves, roughly chop them, and steep them in hot water for about 10-15 minutes. And six big sprigs of that plus half a canteloupe made a WONDERUL sorbet.
This year I'm also adding fresh chammomile, and there's a plant giveaway coming up where they're giving out some anise hyssop - to match the anise hyssop I also already got.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:35 AM on April 25, 2023 [5 favorites]
I USED TO HAVE THAT KIND! In my 20s I worked for a company that was a subsidiary of Precision Valve, the company that makes the little nozzles that go on spray cans. And at the time, they gave everyone in the company a 12-pound ham every Christmas. That no doubt was a boon to families - but I was a 20-something singleton who always head home to the family for Christmas by bus, so taking the ham with me was not an option. So I couldn't dispatch of the ham that way.
The first year this happened I was talking about this with the family, and my aunt had a genius idea - "just pick a random day in January, cook it up and have an open house build-your-own-sandwich party." I did that, and it went over so big that three years later, after I'd LEFT that company, I deliberately bought my own ham another couple years to continue things.
...
The latest here:
* I was in Los Angeles the week of the 10th, and it was awesome. I still need to process all the photos.
* LESS fun is the major dental surgery I'll be having next Monday. I had a root canal in a very back tooth about 15 years ago, and it was a bit of a shitshow job; the dentist left too much space between that tooth and the neighboring tooth, and over the past 15 years all kinds of stuff would get stuck there, and now there's a big cavity growing under my gum line and taking over BOTH teeth. They need to yank both and give me implants. ....But part of the reason why that root canal was a shitshow is because I have a really strong gag reflex, and that is RIGHT where it's at its worst. I told the dentist during our consult that "you're going to want to just knock me out, seriously", and he's prescribed me some sedatives and will also use laughing gas on me; my roommate is going to have to come escort me home after in the afternoon.
* But some promising news - while I was in Los Angeles, the building manager said that the exterminator was coming over on a Friday afternoon, for a one-time-only visit in addition to his regular schedule. And I think I knew why..... I've been having REGULAR talks with our exterminator during his regular visits because of an ongoing rat issue in our building; we've figured out that they're likely coming from the surrounding yards into our yard, and partying in our yard and sneaking into the walls. Then they go to their own yards where their own nests are. The last time he was here he pointed out all the places where he thought they would be - and all the places where it looked like the super had done a sort-of half-assed job to block their access.
Well: when I got back from Los Angeles, it looked like things were starting to change. I had told the exterminator last month that I'd occasionally heard rats under my bedroom windows - and there were brand new snap traps under my windows. The exterminator had pointed out some ivy climbing over the fence from the neighboring yard into our yard, and said rats could climb it up and over - and a couple days ago, the super was out there cutting it all back and bagging it up. And last month the exterminator pointed out some huge holes in another fence, and pointed out a rat hole in the yard just on the other side of one of those holes. And this morning, I noticed brand new chicken wire strung up the length of that fence, blocking that yard completely off.
So I think that the one-time-only exterminator visit was him dragging my super and the building manager out there to point all that out and say "so, look, me putting out bait is only going to do so much, here's some more stuff you can do." We shall see.
* This coming Saturday is the Grand Opening of our community garden for the season. They tried to make me the chair, but I told them I did NOT want that job (i would default to Stage Manager mode and that would be WAY too dictatorial). But instead, I offered to be a sort of Communications Officer - communications in the group is way too loosey-goosey, and an upgrade of that could help. We also have some very interested potential newcomers, and I think we'll have JUST enough open plots for them all to get a spot. ....And one of the newcomers might be a woman who was on a stroll and came to hang out while it was momentarily open while I was working on something a few weeks ago, and we got to chatting and she's awesome and I hope she gets in and we start hanging out more in general.
If nothing else I can start playing with the little container garden of tea herbs I started for the group overall again. That was fun, and contributed to some lovely ice cream batches. I also got the rest of the garden hooked on lemon verbena; I was so insistent on getting some I mail-ordered it, and everyone else looked at me all "okay, that's a little obsessive," but whenever I encouraged people to smell it they realized "oh, hang on, this is wonderful." A nice big sprig of it is enough for a lovely cup of tea - strip off the leaves, roughly chop them, and steep them in hot water for about 10-15 minutes. And six big sprigs of that plus half a canteloupe made a WONDERUL sorbet.
This year I'm also adding fresh chammomile, and there's a plant giveaway coming up where they're giving out some anise hyssop - to match the anise hyssop I also already got.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:35 AM on April 25, 2023 [5 favorites]
this is just to say that it is april 25th and it is snowing in kalamazoo
i love spring
posted by pyramid termite at 6:43 AM on April 25, 2023 [4 favorites]
i love spring
posted by pyramid termite at 6:43 AM on April 25, 2023 [4 favorites]
I've been spending far too much time on Mastodon. It's the best! Reminds me so much of the early days of the internet.
Also, in case anyone is looking for a read, my book We Broke the Moon is available free from today, for the next five days.
It's YA, Hope Punk Sci Fi. While it's not the focus of the story, I did a lot of world building around alternative ways families and parenting might work, on a generation space ship.
posted by Zumbador at 7:08 AM on April 25, 2023 [6 favorites]
Also, in case anyone is looking for a read, my book We Broke the Moon is available free from today, for the next five days.
It's YA, Hope Punk Sci Fi. While it's not the focus of the story, I did a lot of world building around alternative ways families and parenting might work, on a generation space ship.
posted by Zumbador at 7:08 AM on April 25, 2023 [6 favorites]
Dammit the link didn't work. We Broke the Moon.
posted by Zumbador at 7:18 AM on April 25, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by Zumbador at 7:18 AM on April 25, 2023 [7 favorites]
Somebody needs to do a Harry Belafonte obit post, sadly.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:53 AM on April 25, 2023
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:53 AM on April 25, 2023
Thank you, Zumbador! I coincidentally was looking for my next read!
posted by kabong the wiser at 7:56 AM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by kabong the wiser at 7:56 AM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
for fun things to do, I found out that there's a source version of the DECtalk speech synth. It compiles and runs well on Linux. It compiles on Mac OS, but may try to stomp on some system commands (like say). The licence is a huge nope, though: seems that just before the surviving lead developer of DECTalk (Ed Bruckert, obliquely previously in the TropeTrainer thread on the blue) died, he dumped the whole proprietary code base on a public mailing list.
posted by scruss at 8:33 AM on April 25, 2023
posted by scruss at 8:33 AM on April 25, 2023
Reading this in the professional white background so my overzealous team lead doesn't throw a hissy fit. I don't know how y'all do it.
posted by Night_owl at 8:57 AM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Night_owl at 8:57 AM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
Just finished the 1st chapter of We Broke the Moon. Thanks, Zumbador!
posted by kingless at 9:06 AM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by kingless at 9:06 AM on April 25, 2023 [1 favorite]
I am currently castigating myself for not having dealt better with my father's finances. I have PoA for him and can access his bank account (he has dementia). He had £1300 - most of his money - taken from his account yesterday. There were warning signs a month ago about possible fraudulent activity but I didn't act on them. It's all locked down now, after an hour and a half on the 'phone to the bank earlier, in a good case of shutting the stable door. I rang him just now to update him and couldn't get through for a while. When I did get through, he said he'd been speaking to the police. Then he said no, it was the bank again (they told me they will not ring him). Then he said, no, it was probably the scammers again. Goodness knows. I find that one of the most difficult things about dementia - you have to accept so much uncertainty because the person with it is not a reliable narrator. It's sometimes like being in a post-modern novel.
Also, I have no idea how he can have given the scammers enough info to access the account - given that last time I spoke to him about it, he couldn't remember his password to get in himself. Anyway. I need to keep more tabs on it and have asked my sister to help me stay accountable and check in with me regularly about whether I have checked the finances recently. Hopefully that will help.
Thank you for the book information, Zumbador! I really enjoyed Ray and the Cat Thing.
posted by paduasoy at 12:30 PM on April 25, 2023 [6 favorites]
Also, I have no idea how he can have given the scammers enough info to access the account - given that last time I spoke to him about it, he couldn't remember his password to get in himself. Anyway. I need to keep more tabs on it and have asked my sister to help me stay accountable and check in with me regularly about whether I have checked the finances recently. Hopefully that will help.
Thank you for the book information, Zumbador! I really enjoyed Ray and the Cat Thing.
posted by paduasoy at 12:30 PM on April 25, 2023 [6 favorites]
paduasoy, If you have POA for him, one thing you could do is set up a separate account, move most of the money into it, and not give him enough information to access it. That way he has no way to share that information with the scammers. Probably you would need a separate bank, though, and it might be considered unethical.
Sadly, banks have limited means to restrain the spending of account-holders. I tried to get my dad a bank card with just a few hundred dollars on it, and BofA wouldn't let me.
posted by suelac at 2:11 PM on April 25, 2023
Sadly, banks have limited means to restrain the spending of account-holders. I tried to get my dad a bank card with just a few hundred dollars on it, and BofA wouldn't let me.
posted by suelac at 2:11 PM on April 25, 2023
This is not our week in the rednikki/under_petticoat_rule household. My identity was stolen, I was in the hospital with colitis, and our best beloved cat died this morning. My sympathies to everyone else here similarly going through a tough week.
posted by rednikki at 2:20 PM on April 25, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by rednikki at 2:20 PM on April 25, 2023 [10 favorites]
Oh, so sorry, rednikki. Losing the oldest ones is very hard. What a handsome and well-cared for cat, living his best life in the sun.
posted by paduasoy at 3:58 PM on April 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by paduasoy at 3:58 PM on April 25, 2023 [2 favorites]
This morning's soundtrack is Sloan, I am apparently on a nostalgia kick.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 9:26 AM on April 26, 2023
posted by Lawn Beaver at 9:26 AM on April 26, 2023
The money from my father's account has been replaced, presumably by the bank (I won't find out the details for a few days). This is really pleasing - leaving aside the financial aspect, my father has been beating himself up for giving out his bank details. He's really perked up now. I'm going to see him on Friday and go to the art gallery, and also check his 'phone for any added apps (suggested by the bank).
posted by paduasoy at 12:36 PM on April 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by paduasoy at 12:36 PM on April 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
I just read We Broke The Moon. It's really, really good. Thank you, zumbador!
posted by Daily Alice at 2:24 PM on April 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Daily Alice at 2:24 PM on April 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
See also
Happy 100th birthday to my Godfather Avram Davidson. Please celebrate his birthday with us as we launch AD 100 (his first collection in over 20 years) and for the next five days give away the eBook versions of The Avram Davidson Treasury (one of the greatest collections of the 20th century), Skinny and The Boss In the Wall.
posted by y2karl at 6:42 AM on April 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
Happy 100th birthday to my Godfather Avram Davidson. Please celebrate his birthday with us as we launch AD 100 (his first collection in over 20 years) and for the next five days give away the eBook versions of The Avram Davidson Treasury (one of the greatest collections of the 20th century), Skinny and The Boss In the Wall.
posted by y2karl at 6:42 AM on April 27, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm going to the Sing Along: In the Aeroplane Over The Sea at the Tranzac tonight, and I have all the feels
posted by scruss at 11:09 AM on April 27, 2023
posted by scruss at 11:09 AM on April 27, 2023
So upthread I mentioned I have dental surgery this Monday...I've actually known I was going to need it at some point for the past year, because that's when the dentist first caught the problem. But she offered me the choice of taking care of things right away, or "watching and waiting". I opted for watching and waiting, and we've just been keeping an eye on things for the past year. In December she said that the problem had gotten worse, and while I could still wait until I was ready, it really had to happen this year; I hadn't been feeling any pain or issues with the teeth in question, so I was fine with waiting a while.
Then a couple months ago - still not feeling any pain - I decided I really should suck it up and book the appointment at least. I had the initial consult with the surgeon, scheduled the procedure for the first day after my trip to Los Angeles, and then accepted my fate.
And - it's only right about now, 3 days before the procedure, that I'm starting to get even the first twinges of "hmmm, something weird's happening there". So I think I managed to schedule things at exactly the right time.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:32 PM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
Then a couple months ago - still not feeling any pain - I decided I really should suck it up and book the appointment at least. I had the initial consult with the surgeon, scheduled the procedure for the first day after my trip to Los Angeles, and then accepted my fate.
And - it's only right about now, 3 days before the procedure, that I'm starting to get even the first twinges of "hmmm, something weird's happening there". So I think I managed to schedule things at exactly the right time.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:32 PM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
Empress, look for clove oil. That will hopefully get you through tooth pain.
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:14 PM on April 27, 2023
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:14 PM on April 27, 2023
Oh, that's the point, it doesn't actually hurt yet unless I drink super-cold water or something.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:52 PM on April 27, 2023
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:52 PM on April 27, 2023
For anyone who is interested, or dealing with a similar issue, the scam that got my father was an Authorised Push Payment, and most banks in the UK will refund the transferred money. (My father told the bank manager he felt bad about the loss to the bank, but the manager said they get it back from insurance.) The solution in our case is to remove my father's access to online banking, but leave him able to make IRL and online payments with a debit card. And to say, several times, If someone contacts you about money, and it's not me, it's a scammer and you should hang up. We also need to get his 'phone checked for malware by his provider.
posted by paduasoy at 11:44 AM on April 28, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by paduasoy at 11:44 AM on April 28, 2023 [2 favorites]
My friend had their recently published book reviewed (positively) by the New York Times and I am utterly thrilled for them. Seeing someone I care about experience A GOOD THING has been great end to the week.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 12:39 PM on April 28, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 12:39 PM on April 28, 2023 [4 favorites]
Next installment of trailers is up. A few days early for May.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:57 PM on April 28, 2023
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:57 PM on April 28, 2023
Is We Broke the Moon only available for free in the US (IE not Canada) or am I doing it wrong?
posted by Mitheral at 6:52 PM on April 29, 2023
posted by Mitheral at 6:52 PM on April 29, 2023
It's a lovely evening so I have the windows open. But because of allergies I sneezed several times, and apparently startled a small dog walking on the other side of the street who immediately started barking furiously. Have you ever tried to sneeze and laugh at the same time? Tricky...
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:50 PM on April 29, 2023
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:50 PM on April 29, 2023
Mitheral unfortunately the free period is over. If you memail me an address I can send you a copy, if you like?
posted by Zumbador at 9:52 PM on April 29, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Zumbador at 9:52 PM on April 29, 2023 [1 favorite]
Zumbador, I missed the free period for We Broke the Moon so I bought a copy. I hope that's okay.
posted by neuron at 11:42 AM on April 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by neuron at 11:42 AM on April 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
Of course that's fine, neuron, and I hope you enjoy 🙂
posted by Zumbador at 8:54 PM on April 30, 2023
posted by Zumbador at 8:54 PM on April 30, 2023
My dental surgery is in 2 hours and I'm A-SKEERED.
(I'll be fine, intellectually I know I'll be fine, I just had SERIOUSLY bad luck with all dentists up until like 2015 and so there's some anxiety here...the dentist has given me some sedatives to take beforehand and they will be using nitrous and I'm working from home tomorrow but it's still got me a little wigged out.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:50 AM on May 1, 2023 [1 favorite]
(I'll be fine, intellectually I know I'll be fine, I just had SERIOUSLY bad luck with all dentists up until like 2015 and so there's some anxiety here...the dentist has given me some sedatives to take beforehand and they will be using nitrous and I'm working from home tomorrow but it's still got me a little wigged out.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:50 AM on May 1, 2023 [1 favorite]
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posted by Joey Michaels at 2:29 AM on April 24, 2023 [15 favorites]