Let's give the toys some juice.
July 18, 2023 1:33 PM   Subscribe

 
same vibe as:

Every Machine Is A Smoke Machine If You Use It Wrong Enough
posted by lalochezia at 1:41 PM on July 18, 2023 [34 favorites]


I love these videos!

BUT...

Whoever came up with the Bee Sting Dog toy (and any parent that would purchase it for their child) should be immediately sent to a Prison for the Criminally Insane.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:42 PM on July 18, 2023 [69 favorites]


First, it made me laugh, and then it made me sad. And it has that Will It Blend vibe going for it.
posted by Schadenfreude at 1:43 PM on July 18, 2023 [3 favorites]


that psyduck reminds me of an old coworker
posted by phunniemee at 1:46 PM on July 18, 2023 [7 favorites]


For those of you who have always wondered, what would the Milgram experiment look like with a stuffed dog?

Or who aspire to have their little ones grow up to be serial killers.
posted by Naberius at 1:48 PM on July 18, 2023 [10 favorites]


ANGRY APE!
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:50 PM on July 18, 2023 [1 favorite]


It lacks the destructive ASMR style of The Hydraulic Press Channel but it's hard not to love the little dog that goes from happily eating to flailing itself to pieces as the voltage rises.
posted by shagoth at 1:53 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


Thomas the Tank Engine goes on a coke-fueled rampage
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:58 PM on July 18, 2023 [20 favorites]


kinda what the internet was invented for innit
posted by clawsoon at 2:01 PM on July 18, 2023 [11 favorites]


Is that screaming passengers I hear on the merry-go-round @20v?
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:04 PM on July 18, 2023


I keep reading the post as "It's time to watch kids run at higher voltages than they were designed for." Another reason, perhaps, I am not a parent?
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 2:05 PM on July 18, 2023 [4 favorites]


I hate 99% of electric toys, so most of this was deeply satisfying. I could've very happily lived the rest of my life without knowing about that bee-sting dog toy, though.
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:06 PM on July 18, 2023 [1 favorite]


The bee sting dog was just horrifying.

I noticed that the audio doesn't seem to persist past 7V for any of the toys. Is the higher voltage just blowing the speakers out?
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 2:09 PM on July 18, 2023 [4 favorites]


I noticed that the audio doesn't seem to persist past 7V for any of the toys. Is the higher voltage just blowing the speakers out?

My guess is that it's blowing out the digital audio chips, but I honestly don't know.
posted by clawsoon at 2:11 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


"Power at 400% capacity."

"How 'bout that?"
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:17 PM on July 18, 2023


This is a chaotic delight. Also slightly terrifying, but in a way I enjoy.
posted by edencosmic at 2:18 PM on July 18, 2023 [1 favorite]


From now on, I am going to say "overducking" instead of "overclocking."
posted by adamrice at 2:19 PM on July 18, 2023 [9 favorites]


I kind of feel like this is a horror movie from the Land of Sentient Toys.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:23 PM on July 18, 2023 [5 favorites]


When I first read this, I expected Tesla coils.

Make that bee ride the lightning!
posted by Marky at 2:25 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


16 years ago RIP FURBY
posted by lalochezia at 2:32 PM on July 18, 2023


So that's what Sid from Toy Story is up to.
posted by heyitsgogi at 2:33 PM on July 18, 2023 [10 favorites]


Just don't use a cheap multimeter when you do this kind of stuff, kids!
posted by mookoz at 2:35 PM on July 18, 2023 [4 favorites]


The crab toy is terrifying on its own. At high voltage it nearly escaped!
posted by Horkus at 2:52 PM on July 18, 2023 [7 favorites]


Much the same reactions as over-volting people.
posted by Galvanic at 2:53 PM on July 18, 2023


Galvanic: Much the same reactions as over-volting people.

Epony...
posted by clawsoon at 3:08 PM on July 18, 2023 [15 favorites]


The crab toy is terrifying on its own.

I dunno, I kinda want one - just leave it on and let it roam the house. I'd definitely turn it off before bedtime though.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:12 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


If your kid is the thing that's amped up, though…
posted by jamjam at 3:28 PM on July 18, 2023


The crab was the only one to break past mere terror to a state of understanding, to suppress the terror and instead plan an escape. The Bene Gesserit would call it human, approximately one minute before destroying it for violating the Butlerian dictate.
posted by cortex at 3:34 PM on July 18, 2023 [11 favorites]


Anyway I got some very good stupid laughs out of this, thank you for posting.
posted by cortex at 3:34 PM on July 18, 2023


I loved the bee sting dog toy. lol
posted by jeffburdges at 3:36 PM on July 18, 2023


SOMEBODY GET THAT HORRIBLE BEE OFF OF THAT POOR DOG'S FACE ALREADY
posted by Flunkie at 3:37 PM on July 18, 2023 [11 favorites]


I didn’t expect actual helpless laughter so I couldn’t breathe, but the tears kind of saved me because I couldn’t see anymore.
posted by jamjam at 3:40 PM on July 18, 2023 [5 favorites]


Whoever came up with the Bee Sting Dog toy (and any parent that would purchase it for their child) should be immediately sent to a Prison for the Criminally Insane.
That was just horrifying and my dog agrees - she was asleep beside my desk when that came on and it had her on her feet and whining in sympathy within seconds.

I particularly liked the Thomas the Tank Engine running wild and free and the person trying in vain to pick it up. Go Thomas and be free!
posted by dg at 3:43 PM on July 18, 2023 [6 favorites]


I liked the crab. It was latest trying to escape the torment imposed by this Jigsaw-like toy torturer. Go, crab!
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:50 PM on July 18, 2023


it had her on her feet and whining in sympathy within seconds.

OH GOD that makes me wonder exactly how they created the sounds for that dog toy and, well... (reaction GIF)
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:53 PM on July 18, 2023 [1 favorite]


The monkey toy at the end of the first link started off funny enough but then picked up an unsettling vibe as the little guy continued to bounce and shake violently, electrodes dandling, the camera hanging on way too long and the anonymous hand, now off screen, makes you wonder who else could be in the room during this act, and worse, who is paying to watch it.
posted by slogger at 3:56 PM on July 18, 2023 [4 favorites]


Thomas the Tank Engine in "Meth: Not Even Once."
posted by wenestvedt at 3:56 PM on July 18, 2023 [3 favorites]


I swear I could practically smell the soccer bank burning.

Hard agree on bee dog, but choken-bako started heading toward horror and circled all the way back around to hilarious.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:07 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


more like Thomas the Crank Engine
posted by ZaphodB at 4:14 PM on July 18, 2023 [22 favorites]


The crab was very Crab Rave.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:36 PM on July 18, 2023 [3 favorites]


My favorite was the first one, the duck run. I want that toy, it seems very soothing at the normal voltage.
posted by chavenet at 4:38 PM on July 18, 2023


OMG the dog at 25V in the second video achieved enlightenment
posted by vverse23 at 4:43 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


It took the Weebles on the merry-go-round much more voltage than I expected to lift off.
posted by lhauser at 5:32 PM on July 18, 2023


Whoever came up with the Bee Sting Dog toy (and any parent that would purchase it for their child) should be immediately sent to a Prison for the Criminally Insane.

That was just horrifying and my dog agrees - she was asleep beside my desk when that came on and it had her on her feet and whining in sympathy within seconds.


Same here. Poor Watson was dozing until that video jolted him awake. He's been looking for the suffering comrade ever since.
posted by doctornemo at 5:37 PM on July 18, 2023 [3 favorites]


When our first child was around 2 years old my mother-in-law got her a Tickle Me Elmo toy. Gwynneth never really got into it and left it alone.

A few months later we managed the rare feat of having a few adult friends over. After some drinks we found the toy and, a bit inspired, opened its cloth exterior and extracted its hard plastic core, a blank brick with a couple of big buttons. One of us pressed the main button and the thing started SHRIEKING and twitching on the table, spasming from side to side as gales of unholy laughter sailed free.
posted by doctornemo at 5:41 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


Thomas the Tank Engine goes on a coke-fueled rampage

Casey Jones, you’d better watch your speed!
posted by atoxyl at 5:44 PM on July 18, 2023 [7 favorites]


Whoever came up with the Bee Sting Dog toy…

Like most of these, this appears to be an AliExpress/Amazon Marketplace random company name product. It seems that the toy merchants of Shenzhen now operate according to the same strange algorithms that generate children’s YouTube content.
posted by atoxyl at 5:58 PM on July 18, 2023 [4 favorites]


My guess with the audio is that the transistors are clipping to the top of their voltage range, which results in a flat signal and thus silence.
posted by credulous at 6:19 PM on July 18, 2023 [1 favorite]


Here we have a way more compelling argument than Roko's Basilisk.
posted by saturday_morning at 6:23 PM on July 18, 2023 [1 favorite]


That choken-bako was metal as fuck
posted by aubilenon at 6:28 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


That choken-bako was metal as fuck

Indeed. That dog knew what to do with high voltage.
posted by clawsoon at 6:31 PM on July 18, 2023


I enjoyed that way more than I should have.
posted by 3.2.3 at 7:13 PM on July 18, 2023 [1 favorite]


When my kiddo was little and had a friend over, the Thomas the tank engine brio train ran out of battery after they had made an extensive track for him to roll around. There were probably tears.

Much to my chagrin, I didn't have any more charged AA batteries. I did not want more tears, so like most parents of toddlers do most of the time, I improvised...

Much to the kids' delight, what I did have was a AA-sized lithium that ran at >2x the voltage of the normal AA. Turbo Thomas was born, and apparently my wooden-train hot rod skills became briefly legendary at the local preschool.

I don't think we ever ran it at 1.5v again, and the thing lasted for several more years. He was a speedy and very useful engine, if a little paranoid about Mr Topumhat instituting a workplace drug testing program.
posted by toxic at 7:36 PM on July 18, 2023 [17 favorites]


"I'M GOIN' OFF THE RAILS ON A CRAZY TRAIN"
posted by Liquidwolf at 8:03 PM on July 18, 2023 [4 favorites]


I'm really really glad that I was already very familiar with the notion that Thomas and all his friends are straight-up fascists and fascist-enabling monsters, which made his (its?) feral slavering frantic speed seem entirely reasonable - why, it's panzerschokolade!
posted by Tomorrowful at 8:21 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


This is the opposite of cruton petting.
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:58 PM on July 18, 2023 [8 favorites]


That ape was definitely related to Thrash Metal Washing Machine
posted by FatherDagon at 9:06 PM on July 18, 2023 [2 favorites]


literal crab juice
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 10:14 PM on July 18, 2023


So that's what Sid from Toy Story is up to.
I know that there is a part of my psyche that is forever Sid-like. The part that was making me laugh like a drain at the ducks. I suspect a remarkable proportion of us who have ended up in engineering and related professions are similar.
posted by rongorongo at 1:18 AM on July 19, 2023 [2 favorites]


For some reason I am reminded of Thomas Music Video: Let The Engines Hit The Floor
posted by credulous at 4:47 AM on July 19, 2023 [1 favorite]


Calvin and Hobbes have a soundtrack suggestion
posted by TedW at 5:11 AM on July 19, 2023


Considerably less smoke than I expected. Made up for it with self-destruction.
posted by tommasz at 6:09 AM on July 19, 2023 [1 favorite]


I noticed that the audio doesn't seem to persist past 7V for any of the toys. Is the higher voltage just blowing the speakers out?

Those toys usually have a blob chip with no external components, which means they can't really have the kind of voltage regulator that works at a range of input voltages, and whatever they do have is very crude and probably dissipates excess voltage as heat. Since the input voltage is so predictable it doesn't matter, but when you overvolt it that part of the the chip is just going to be unable to dissipate heat and go pop very quickly.
posted by grahamparks at 6:15 AM on July 19, 2023 [4 favorites]


I particularly liked the Thomas the Tank Engine running wild and free and the person trying in vain to pick it up. Go Thomas and be free!

Become ungovernable!
posted by Foosnark at 6:43 AM on July 19, 2023 [1 favorite]


When we were teenagers, my friends and I got some cheap RC cars that ran on 4 AAs and rigged up packs made of as many batteries as we could find instead, of all kinds, to see how fast they would go.

They went really, really fast, too fast to control, which we thought was pretty cool, but the batteries also drained super fast, which was a bummer, because nobody had money for more batteries. Thus ended our RC car tuning careers.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:49 AM on July 19, 2023 [2 favorites]


this man is deranged and very entertaining.
posted by numaner at 8:06 AM on July 19, 2023


I don’t know about deranged. They had careful and incremental control of the voltage. For me, deranged would be be violently cranking the voltage up and down.
posted by njohnson23 at 8:12 AM on July 19, 2023 [1 favorite]


violently cranking the voltage up and down

I'd pay a dollar to see that
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:53 AM on July 19, 2023


These toys, they vibrate?
posted by deezil at 10:12 AM on July 19, 2023 [4 favorites]


That ape was definitely related to Thrash Metal Washing Machine

That's pretty good, but I prefer Autechre vs Washing Machine
posted by aubilenon at 10:33 AM on July 19, 2023 [1 favorite]


Not safe for crouton petters
posted by dismas at 11:17 AM on July 19, 2023 [2 favorites]


Not safe for crouton petters

I am very susceptible to that sort of thing, but with a few exceptions he used rather inherently offputting and unlikeable toys so I didn’t really feel bad for them.
posted by atoxyl at 11:54 AM on July 19, 2023


I've been reading a lot of Patricia Lockwood this week and this video really helped me clarify my feelings about her. It's like the toy is David Sedaris and the increased voltage is "being more David Sedaris-y than that even" and Patricia Lockwood is the toy operating at 7-10V.
posted by sy at 12:56 AM on July 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


My guess with the audio is that the transistors are clipping to the top of their voltage range, which results in a flat signal and thus silence.

I think it's more likely to be heat from overvolting blowing the chip - the failure mode for a lot of them seems to be to work for a few seconds at whatever too-high voltage, then suddenly stop. If it were just clipping you wouldn't expect the behaviour to change like that, without the voltage changing.

(Wouldn't the input signal to the amplification circuit be a fluctuating waveform anyway, so clipping at both extremes would become audible distortion, not silence?)
posted by Dysk at 1:38 AM on July 20, 2023 [1 favorite]


Thomas is channeling the existential horror I feel watching that damn show.
posted by that's candlepin at 1:14 PM on July 20, 2023


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