Egg Man
August 28, 2023 9:47 PM   Subscribe

The Incredible Edible Egg, the symbol of life. There's been a long debate about the health benefits and negative effects of the humble egg, but for many, the scrambled egg is the go to breakfast choice. The real question is which scrambled egg? Milk? Cream? Nothing? Salt? No Salt? Again, as with all things culinarily inclined, this list is short sighted, full of gaps, holes, glaring errors and misconceptions, etc. Feel free to scramble over any and all bare spots!

Some of the many versions of the scrambled egg.
  • The Hard Scramble" - the American scrambled egg. Firm, dry large curds. Meant to be accompanied with buttered toast, bacon and endless cups of diner coffee
  • The Soft Scramble" - aka French Style eggs. soft, small creamy curds or as Julia Childs puts it "like a broken custard"
    • Shout out to Nero Wolfe in "The Mother Hunt" for promoting Escoffier's double boiler method.
      “Do you like eggs?” She laughed. She looked at me, so I laughed too. Wolfe scowled. “Confound it, are eggs comical? Do you know how to scramble eggs, Mrs. Valdon?” “Yes, of course.” “To use Mr. Goodwin’s favorite locution, one will get you ten that you don’t. I’ll scramble eggs for your breakfast and we’ll see. Tell me forty minutes before you’re ready.” Her eyes widened. “Forty minutes?” “Yes. I knew you didn’t know.”
  • The British Scramble - more French than American, but not as soft

  • Cantonese Style Scrambled Eggs - using the addition of cornstarch slurry to make fluffy eggs that are set over high heat and stay moist. (Kenji approved - archive link)

  • Iri Tamago - Japanese style hard scrambled eggs bits for use as a topping

  • Australian Folded Eggs - not quite a scramble, not quite an omelet.

(And if you're not into the whole "eggy" thing - maybe some homemade vegan scrambled eggs?

Which brings us to the whole "scramble" notion, because sometimes a person cannot live on scrambled eggs alone. Some quick scramble adjacent ideas from around the world!
posted by drewbage1847 (92 comments total) 76 users marked this as a favorite
 
Looks like those goons from the Egg Council have infiltrated the Blue!
posted by 2N2222 at 9:54 PM on August 28, 2023 [11 favorites]


scrambled eggs made with a pat of unsalted butter and a dash each of curry powder, hot pepper flakes, and kosher salt
posted by infinitewindow at 9:54 PM on August 28, 2023 [1 favorite]


a hard scramble, but then dressed with sour cream.
posted by Clowder of bats at 9:56 PM on August 28, 2023 [2 favorites]


Existential eggs for breakfast and I.
posted by BobTheScientist at 9:59 PM on August 28, 2023 [2 favorites]


Cook bacon in pan. Move bacon to the side. Add beaten eggs with seasoning du jour. Scramble eggs for less time than you think you should. Repeat to yourself, "If it's done in the pan, it's overdone on the plate." Repeat daily.
posted by bink at 10:10 PM on August 28, 2023 [12 favorites]


I do like the Cantonese style of scrambled eggs, especially with prawns.

But at home I make Australian Folded Eggs.
posted by awfurby at 10:49 PM on August 28, 2023 [2 favorites]


Two eggs, salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, butter melted on the pan. Scrambled with a fork in a small bowl and cooked soft and light, like my mom makes them. Though—and I know this sounds cliche—I genuinely have a much harder time cooking them right without a gas stove. I don't know why that is.
posted by Spinda at 10:52 PM on August 28, 2023 [3 favorites]


Creme egg, definitely.
posted by polytope subirb enby-of-piano-dice at 11:15 PM on August 28, 2023 [4 favorites]


I also like the Cantonese style, but for similar creaminess, with much fewer ingredients, less work and mess, and no need for a pan or burner:

1. Spray cooking spray into a glass microwave-safe bowl, one that's 6-8 inches in diameter.
2. Crack three eggs into the bowl.
3. Add a couple tablespoons of milk (skim is fine).
4. Stir until you get a consistent-looking liquid--about 5-10 seconds.
5. Stir in your protein (I use a handful of diced deli ham).
6. Put the bowl in the microwave, and turn it on "high" for 2-3 minutes (more or less, depending on your microwave).
7. Every 30 seconds or so, stop the microwave, pull the bowl out, break up the "curds" that are beginning to form, and reinsert the bowl into the microwave to begin cooking again.
8. With about 1 minute left in the cooking time, check your eggs. They should be mostly lightly-cooked creamy curds, with a little bit of uncooked egg still in the bowl.
9. Drape a slice of American cheese over the eggs, and cook for another 30 seconds or so.
10. The cheese should be melted/liquified at this point. If so, pull the bowl out, mix everything again, and eat it straight from the bowl.
11. When finished, give the bowl to your dog who has been sitting longingly at your feet waiting for you to finish.
posted by Kibbutz at 11:19 PM on August 28, 2023 [10 favorites]


I was taught to put a splash of milk in the mixture for scrambled eggs, and was slightly irked to find out, many many years later, that this is bullshit and makes the resulting scramble worse. A tiny splash of water does seem to result in slightly lighter, fluffier eggs, but I’ve also added nothing at all, and it’s still creamier and more delicious than the pointlessly milk-adulterated version.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:20 PM on August 28, 2023 [9 favorites]


hard. boiled.
posted by not_on_display at 11:29 PM on August 28, 2023 [1 favorite]


Hands down the best line I’ve heard in a TV show in the past umpteen years was Carolyn on Killing Eve (Fiona Shaw): “I can't stand breakfast. It's just constant eggs. Why? Who decided?”
posted by kitten kaboodle at 12:02 AM on August 29, 2023 [6 favorites]


I very rarely scramble these days, preferring a fried egg typically. It being easier and quicker to cook is a bonus. This thread has given me a real hankering for a good old fashioned æggekage though.
posted by Dysk at 2:03 AM on August 29, 2023


My eggs are getting holes in them, from the inside. They are also wiggling and making peeping noises. I cooked them at 37.5 degrees C for almost 20 days so far. Still not ready to eat yet, may be a few months.
posted by GiantSlug at 2:30 AM on August 29, 2023 [16 favorites]


For moi money, one just can’t beat Jacques Pepin’s original video on making omelette (seemingly scanned from VHS) as *the* guide to perfectly ribbony egg scrambling. Simply whisked eggs, cooked in butter (or, if you’re Pepin, “beuddair”).
posted by Lesser Spotted Potoroo at 2:36 AM on August 29, 2023 [5 favorites]


Cover the bottom of your pan with 1/8 inch of heavy cream. Gently crack your eggs and “fry” them in the cream, turning carefully to keep the yolks intact. Cook them slowly, until your preferred level of hardness has been achieved, salt and pepper to taste. Delicious!
posted by pearlybob at 2:52 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


When I had a microwave, I enjoyed the ease of Jose Andres’ microwaved egg, to which I often added a dash of smoked Spanish paprika (and omit the parmigiana.)
posted by gauche at 2:54 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


one just can’t beat Jacques Pepin’s original video

The man’s videos are a treasure. I love watching him debone a chicken.
posted by gauche at 2:58 AM on August 29, 2023 [6 favorites]


Crack eggs, mix, add salt, pepper, and a bit of water. The water compensates for the moisture lost in the cooking. Melt butter in the pan, heat on low-medium heat, constantly scrape. Turn off heat when solid but still quite wet. They will continue to cook in the pan.
posted by zardoz at 3:41 AM on August 29, 2023


Huh. People make runny, stringy, or milk-less scrambled eggs on purpose because they are used to eating them that way and not because they don’t know how to make good scrambled eggs. You learn something new every day.

If I wanted a custard, I’d make a custard. But a splash of milk does help.
posted by eviemath at 4:12 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


Egg.
posted by Literaryhero at 4:30 AM on August 29, 2023 [2 favorites]


I don't like eggs, never have. I've made a few omelets, I find them bland. I can deal with the random egg stuff in like fried rice or something... just not an egg, yuck.

Strange thing is, I worked for residential dining in university and dumped multiple gross of eggs into the de-sheller and stood at the big griddle and made trays and trays of scrambled eggs from a five gallon bucket of egg insides. Don't actually want to eat them myself.
posted by zengargoyle at 4:33 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


for scramble - add soy sauce to the scramble.

for yolks - place in 1/2 salt 1/2 sugar. After the yolk gets hard, microplane on things. Rice/pasta.
posted by rough ashlar at 4:51 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


My daughter-in-law manages a facility in northern Indiana that custom-blends feed for Eggland’s Best. That’s all I got.

Oh...I guess my pref on scrambled eggs would be akin to a broken-up omelette, but with no fillings. Well, maybe some roasted green chilies.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:51 AM on August 29, 2023


Today I learned there is a thing called a de-sheller machine. Did I used to think that kitchens cracked all those eggs by hand? Why yes, yes I did. But web search is only turning up peeler machines for boiled eggs. Zengargoyle, please tell me more!
posted by evilmomlady at 4:53 AM on August 29, 2023 [5 favorites]


Great post! Love the tour around the world. Scrambled is not my favorite way to enjoy eggs, but when I do have them I like the hard scramble with thyme, sometimes folding in some pepperoni and cheese.
posted by evilmomlady at 4:59 AM on August 29, 2023


The challenge I always struggled with is how to scale many of these techniques down to a single egg. Like I'm just not sure there's enough mass in one egg to have a satisfactory scramble in any method and even two eggs is a big of a stretch. But more than that and I have to skip lunch.

My current secret ingredient is a couple of taps of Penzey's Justice into the egg before I put it into the pan. It's basically onion, onion, more onion, and a pinch of garlic.

I can knock out a single egg omelet in about 10 minutes before work. Toss a veggie sausage into the microwave for 40 seconds to defrost it while I crack the egg into a cup. Season and beat the egg while the pan comes up to temperature. Shred the sausage while the butter melts in the pan, then throw the sausage crumble into the pan and cover with beaten egg. Flip after 2-3 minutes, add cheese, take off heat while I make coffee, fold over and plate. Cover in more tabasco than seems reasonable. Mmm.
posted by Kyol at 5:25 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


Today I learned that the American Egg Board has a YouTube channel.

Sadly, it does not have all their old commercials.
posted by box at 5:41 AM on August 29, 2023


I can't stand eggs qua eggs, which makes things difficult for a vegetarian who needs protein or just a menu option at a place that doesn't care much about vegetarians. Love a good custard, though, or a souffle -- basically, any food that doesn't let you know it has eggs as an ingredient.

I briefly loved scrambled eggs as a kid, but it was mostly because when I was five it was the first thing I learned to cook. Well, I wasn't allowed to use the stove, of course, but I could sure scramble up the eggs. It felt very helpful.
posted by Countess Elena at 5:47 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


In this house, somehow I make the best scrambled eggs despite a recipe the plainness of which would have my grandfather label it “Presbyterian:” whisk for a few breaths, melt a couple of pats of butter over medium heat, pour in the eggs and a shake of salt and pepper and stir every time it looks in danger of becoming an omelette. My wife and our daughter do the same things and it turns out indifferent. Not sure what my very minor superpower is here, but it has not been passed on.

Oddly, omelettes are my preferred method of egg consumption. I did not have one until I was 23 and living with the love of my young life; she made me one and it was such a revelation that for the balance of that summer we went through a probably unhealthy number of eggs. To this day, I’d say 85% of my restaurant breakfasts have been omelettes to make up for lost time.

The odd thing is that my father is a very steadfast loyalist to whatever breakfast he had yesterday and the day before, and thus his breakfast tastes change about as fast as the rules of chess.

So during my childhood, we were a house that ate French toast for years, then it became pancakes in my adolescence. I lived with him for a year or so as a young adult when I had come back from overseas and he had just gone through pricey divorce #2 and was struggling to pay the mortgage, and I reckoned I might as well pay rent to him as a stranger; by that point it was the Red River Cereal years.

When as an adult I discovered omelettes, l heard from my mom, my aunts and uncles and grandparents on my dad’s side the universal assessment, “Oh, your dad makes great omelettes.” Now I am not going to see fifty again and my dad is closing in on eighty, we live three times zones apart, and I have yet to experience one of his creations. Sadness.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:02 AM on August 29, 2023 [6 favorites]


Truth be told, I almost always add a splash of half-and-half to my whisked eggs before scrambling, but I agree that scrambled eggs made with just a splash of water are lighter. Most breakfast places make terrible scrambled eggs, but I also don't trust them to make a decent fried egg until I have been there a few times and get a feel for the skill of the kitchen, so I default to scrambled.
posted by briank at 6:04 AM on August 29, 2023


I already had a small breakfast, but now I'm hungry for some eggs.
I'm not really fond of yolks as is, so I end up doing some form of scrambling. I end up somewhere on a spectrum from scrambled eggs to omelet to crustless quiche, in which it's all the same stuff, but cooked slightly differently. It's just a vehicle for a fuck-ton of cheese anyway.
When we had chickens, we had to find a way of eating a lot of eggs, and that's where I learned about crustless quiche. After the chickens left, we kinda decided we'd had enough eggs for a while, but now we're back to having some occasionally.

From the above entries, I guess I like the American Breakfast Skillet. My style of cooking is to see what can fit into a single cooking pan/pot/dish. No need to separate food items, as they are all headed to the same place.
posted by MtDewd at 6:12 AM on August 29, 2023


When shopping in the egg aisle, always remember:

Brown eggs are local eggs and local eggs are fresh!

(Brought to you by the New England Brown Egg Council)
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:13 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


French scrambled eggs are really special, more like an egg and butter sauce to dip toast in than anything scrambled, a one egg portion is doable if you find a small and non-stick enough milk pan. In their 1988 show on eggs, Albert Roux presents French scrambled eggs garnished with quail's eggs garnished with fish eggs with a poached egg garnished with fish eggs.
posted by lucidium at 6:17 AM on August 29, 2023


Ok. I'm Australian. In fact, I'm from Melbourne, the town that invented Australian cafe culture and gave you Philistines the flat white and long black, as well as yer smashed avo.

This 'folded eggs' thing, it is not a thing. Unless maybe it's a thing in Sydney, but Sydney's just LA but less people care.
posted by prismatic7 at 6:27 AM on August 29, 2023 [5 favorites]


Folded fuckin eggs.
posted by prismatic7 at 6:27 AM on August 29, 2023 [3 favorites]


Huh. I guess I do "French style" scrambled eggs.

I never did like hard scramble. Too dry.
posted by fimbulvetr at 6:30 AM on August 29, 2023 [2 favorites]


Great post! I've never been a fan of the ultra-creamy French style eggs you get from constantly stirring. I think Alton Brown hit on the best method: med-hot pre-heated pan, butter in, eggs in for 10 seconds, stir, a few more seconds, stir, one more time then out to finish setting on the plate. You get good structure with gooey bits folded in.
posted by HumanComplex at 6:45 AM on August 29, 2023


But web search is only turning up peeler machines for boiled eggs. Zengargoyle, please tell me more!

It's like a smallish open top washing machine on the spin cycle. The basket has holes, at the bottom of the machine is a spout where you put the bucket. Flip the switch to 'on' and the inside spins like mad, dump in a whole gross (12x12) tray of eggs and just watch the insides come out the spout into the bucket. Drop in a whole big stack of gross trays of eggs and presto, bucket full of egg inside. It just spins them around so hard against a filter like screen that mostly only the insides make it through the holes and out the spout.

The rest is just industrial kitchen equipment and how it's strangely easier to cook a crap ton of food that way than it is to try to make a single omelette of skillet of scrambled eggs. More is much easier to cook than few. (And the industrial flattop is much more stable than a pan on the stove).

The Egg King - Centrifugal Egg Cracker - YouTube

Ours was bigger and stainless steel, same principle.
posted by zengargoyle at 7:09 AM on August 29, 2023 [10 favorites]


tubular egg!
posted by sebastienbailard at 7:12 AM on August 29, 2023


When I had a microwave, I enjoyed the ease of Jose Andres’ microwaved egg

You can go a lot simpler than this.

Into one coffee mug: one egg, splash of water and a dash of salt. Blend with a fork. Microwave for 50-60 seconds. You have a perfect little egg soufflé you can drop on an English muffin with some cheddar cheese. If you add a piece of bacon or ham, Instant McMuffin.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:17 AM on August 29, 2023 [5 favorites]


Thanks to Kenji I have a new technique for quick creamy scrambled eggs. A little bit of corn starch, a trick he credits to Mandy Lee's blog post from 2015. For each egg make a slurry with 1/2 a teaspoon of potato or tapioca or corn starch and 1 tablespoon of butter. Whisk that in with the beaten egg. Then you can cook it fast on the stove but it still comes out creamy and soft. It works! Not the same rich dense flavor you get with 15 minute scrambled eggs (where all the water evaporates without toughening up the proteins) but who's got the time for that?

(/me shakes fist at all the American restaurants serving "omelettes" which are really scrambles, or if we're being honest poorly made frittatas. An omelette is a very specific technique that is delicate and creamy inside, not the dog's breakfast mixed together in a pile on the flat top.)
posted by Nelson at 8:21 AM on August 29, 2023


In an odd bit of synchronicity, I had scrambled eggs & toast for lunch today. My controversial opinion is that practically all scrambled eggs are fine. Some are better than others, but I am way less sensitive to variance than most.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:34 AM on August 29, 2023 [3 favorites]


This Really Needs: Negativland + Graham Kerr: Perfect Scrambled Eggs!
posted by ovvl at 8:42 AM on August 29, 2023 [3 favorites]


last time I remember this coming up a bunch of us got lectured about how it was morally wrong to enjoy hard-scrambled eggs.
posted by lodurr at 8:45 AM on August 29, 2023


Kottu roti: eggs scrambled with onion, chili peppers and your choice of curried meat/veggie in sauce, all chopped up and fried with bits of yesterday's flatbread. There's something about hearing the wild hammering of the chopping blades on the hotplate that makes the dish very comforting. I live just out of earshot of the local Tamil takeout's kottu roti-making, alas.
posted by scruss at 8:47 AM on August 29, 2023 [2 favorites]


On the corn starch eggs I said: 1/2 a teaspoon of potato or tapioca or corn starch and 1 tablespoon of butter

While butter is always delicious (and part of his recipe), I meant "1 tablespoon of water".
posted by Nelson at 8:51 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


I alternate between spam eggs spam spam bacon and spam, spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam, and spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:21 AM on August 29, 2023 [10 favorites]


My go-to scrambled egg add-ons from college were shredded mozzarella and slightly undercooked broccoli, plus some black pepper. I ate a lot of eggs back then because they were cheap and I was poor.

Also, I have always loved soft-boiled eggs but it took me years to perfect making them.
posted by May Kasahara at 9:26 AM on August 29, 2023


I never ate eggs growing up because my mom doesn't like them. but now I love them in pretty much every way. I do prefer my scrambles a bit softer, not full French style but not dry.

here is a yummy way to do eggs: break them into the pan like you are making fried eggs and about half way through cooking give them a very rough scramble. you'll have distinct white and yellow sections, with varied levels of mixing. give that baby a couple twists of black pepper. so good!

was anyone else deeply upset to watch Jacques Pepin scramble his eggs in a Teflon pan WITH A FORK???? oh Jacques, you devil.
posted by supermedusa at 9:26 AM on August 29, 2023 [2 favorites]


Kenji's technique above is well-recommended, even if you like big curds.

I added this video to my Watch Later list yesterday, like a cross between Menamen and Egg Drop Soup - Tomato Egg Drop. The techniques for the egg drop itself are interesting, and I find myself gravitating toward a lot of Xia Fan Cai dishes (things to eat with rice) these days. My breakfast go-to a lot of times is leftover rice with 2 over medium eggs and some Lao Gan Ma.
posted by SoundInhabitant at 9:27 AM on August 29, 2023


I like them American-style, according to this classification, but the rest of the family likes them French-style so I do them that way. A little cheese and chives can be nice but I draw the line on adding milk.
posted by sfred at 9:27 AM on August 29, 2023


was anyone else deeply upset to watch Jacques Pepin scramble his eggs in a Teflon pan WITH A FORK???? oh Jacques, you devil.

That video is gets filed under "horror" rather than "cooking/food" in my mind for exactly that reason.
posted by Dysk at 9:30 AM on August 29, 2023 [2 favorites]


I've had a carbon steel French omelette pan for around 25 years now. Starting to get reeeeeeally nonstick. And I love making French-style omelettes à la Jacques Pepin. Thing is, I don't really like eating them all that much. Luckily, Mrs. slkinsey does, so problem solved.

As for making the best scrambled eggs, the Modernist Cuisine folks have recommended adding an extra egg yolk for every two whole eggs. This makes a bigger improvement to scrambled eggs than any technique or additive I've tried, and I've tried plenty of them.
posted by slkinsey at 10:16 AM on August 29, 2023


I love eggs in just about any form, but my truest gremlin self has always loved scrambled eggs with ketchup. I think it's one of the few things I've kind of carried over from my Eastern European ancestors. I always had a thing I'd make at home to turn it into a meal where I'd get some leftover pasta crispy in a pan, scramble some eggs into it and would cover the whole mess with ketchup. I did this even though I really just wanted like a half dozen scrambled eggs with ketchup on them, but I grew up in an era when eggs were considered unhealthy. Now the pasta is considered more unhealthy than the eggs so I get to live my dream of just scrambling together a bunch of eggs and dumping ketchup onto them.

My wife knows about my affection for this somewhat objectively gross meal, but I only make it when she's out of the house so she doesn't get the ick.
posted by mikesch at 10:32 AM on August 29, 2023 [2 favorites]


I'm excited to try Menemen because Shakshuka always looks so good but I am not a fan of the egg preparation in that, in that I don't think I'd be fan of the texture that results but with scrambled, I think I'd be good. That said, I love a poached (medium) or fried (over easy, no runny white but yes runny yolk) egg on its own or on a Benedict (had a potato pancake Benny over the weekend that changed my life) or with toast.
posted by cooker girl at 10:52 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


My secret to properly folding eggs is using a letter opener to get a nice sharp crease.
posted by notoriety public at 11:00 AM on August 29, 2023 [3 favorites]


the best benedict I ever had is Heuvos Benedictos in Mexico (that one little breakfast place in Isla Mujeres, you know). a fat puck of masa as the bed, poached eggs, chipotle hollandaise (oh yeah) with side rice, beans, avo etc., sooooooo good.
posted by supermedusa at 11:19 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


mikesch, I'm totally going to try your dreameggs right now. I have some luscious Mexican ketchup with less sugar and more lycopene bang than Heinz et al. I bet it is not ick.
posted by Don Pepino at 11:32 AM on August 29, 2023


I often have a scrambled , or fried egg for breakfast, with either bacon or breakfast sausage (links), mostly as something to have with the sautéed veggies I like to have. I watch lots of anime and have become interested in both OmuRice and Japanese Rolled Omelets (Tamagoyaki). Time will tell whether I ever attempt them or not.
posted by evilDoug at 11:38 AM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


Here in the United States, people most commonly have two eggs for breakfast, but my understanding is that over in France, it's much more common to just have one egg for breakfast.

Why?

Because in France, one egg is un oeuf.
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 11:41 AM on August 29, 2023 [15 favorites]


slappy that is my favorite joke in the world!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by supermedusa at 11:43 AM on August 29, 2023


Nadiya's (of British Bake-off fame) Egg Roll-ups changed my life during pandemic years. Interchange the filling with anything you like that is in season. My prolific chickens and this recipe kept me happy and fed with minimal thinking.
posted by ikahime at 11:55 AM on August 29, 2023 [3 favorites]


One time in like 2006 the American Egg Board paid a PR firm to call attention to the discrepancy in 'heart healthy' check marks applied to eggs by the American and Australian Heart Associations. Australians said eggs were heart healthy and Americans weren't so sure.

Anyway, the premise was this: Eggs are mad as hell at the US government and are applying for asylum in Australia (nevermind that the Aussie gov't has been perpetually hostile toward asylum seekers). To this end, the PR firm sponsored a big event at the Australian embassy. They hired an Aussie musical group to perform some of their songs (lyrics hastily rewritten to match the theme of the event), as well as Guinness-certified fastest omelet chef Howard Helmer (427 omelets in 30 minutes) running an omelet workshop/bar. They also hired a half dozen people to don egg costumes and stand outside the embassy with picket signs begging to be let into their country.

There seem to be no records of this event ever having taken place, but I am certain it happened. How?

I am the egg man.
posted by Richard Saunders at 12:17 PM on August 29, 2023


Why on earth would one ever eat breakfast egg in any format other than pasteis de nata?
posted by chavenet at 12:25 PM on August 29, 2023


Cream > nothing > milk.

Water? Never.
posted by bruinfan at 12:28 PM on August 29, 2023


I am the egg man.

I am the walrus.
posted by kingless at 12:38 PM on August 29, 2023


Wait for it...
posted by slkinsey at 1:04 PM on August 29, 2023


This is indeed an egg-cellent post, although it hurts my soul a little to see Ramsay’s… efforts… get labelled as the British method. We tend to be much more akin to your average diner eggs, in general; America tends to do breakfast Very Well if you ask me.

Even if you’re a sloppy eggs kind of person, it doesn’t have to be hard work Gordon.
posted by breakfast burrito at 1:07 PM on August 29, 2023


I have done a lot of these, because I am specifically "not a bad cook" and "not interested in cooking." When I'm alone a lot, eggs what I cook the most. They're a great brunch -- two meals in one! -- and in certain forms, an excellent dinner. And when I have extra company, eggs are...still what I cook the most? I'm from the American South, and accordingly have internalized some notion that a big breakfast is the best way to signal intense welcome.

I grew up in the fatphobic 90s and definitely thought of eggs as "unhealthy?" when growing up. I don't have that sense at all anymore, though if I eat bacon more than three times a week I start to wonder about colon cancer...
posted by grandiloquiet at 1:07 PM on August 29, 2023 [2 favorites]


Hm. I must be the only one who likes salsa with (hard) scrambled eggs?
posted by porpoise at 2:26 PM on August 29, 2023 [2 favorites]


Hm. I must be the only one who likes salsa with (hard) scrambled eggs?

Nope, sign me up for that! I much prefer to salsa to ketchup with eggs, or almost anything else.
posted by mollweide at 2:48 PM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


Is this where I drop my recommendation for pasture-raised eggs? "Organic", "cage free", and "free range" are all bullshit categories where the chickens are still stuffed cheek to jowl in a gigantic warehouse where most of them will never see the sky. "Access to the outdoors" means a door at the far end of that warehouse might be open, allowing the birds closest to it some theoretical time in a small yard. Hens peck each other to try to carve out some space, but it's as dirty and cramped as laying eggs in a cage for many of them.

Pasture-raised birds are allowed a glorious 108 square feet of space each, by comparison. The yolks are extremely rich, dark orange, caused by the beta-carotene in natural forage, such as insects. They do taste very "eggy", and though I've not had a problem with baked goods I can see how a less-intense flavor might be preferable for some purposes. They're the best I've found outside of a farmer's market or a farm stand.

You still have to do some amount of research on the brand - "pasture raised" is not defined by the USDA yet, leaving it open to potential abuse. There are also foods a producer can feed their chickens to mimic the orange yolks if they were so inclined to trick you. Definitely worth the extra cost if you can find some good ones though.
posted by Feyala at 2:58 PM on August 29, 2023 [2 favorites]


If you don't have chickens of your own, I agree that Pasture Raised eggs are the best bang for the buck in terms of store bought eggs.
posted by drewbage1847 at 3:14 PM on August 29, 2023


I like to first cook some mushrooms in a cast iron pan, then add the eggs and take it off the heat to cook them in the residual heat. The juicyness of the mushrooms makes for a softer scramble despite cooking them until not runny. A healthy amount of pepper goes well with them this way.
posted by joeyh at 5:50 PM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


I can make either of the following in 5-10 minutes even before (during) coffee. The first is our replacement for a breakfast sandwich, but made with cheaper and somewhat healthier ingredients. The second is a riff on scrambled eggs, extended with silken tofu and bulked up with veg for better nutritional content.

+++

I make one or the other of these multiple times a week for us, especially on workday mornings. Started doing this during lockdown and we've just kept doing it.

A handful of cabbage, fried in universal stir-fry sauce[1] until it begins to soften, an egg per person whisked poured over top. Mixed and fried until the egg-cabbage makes patties. Meanwhile toast a slice of bread for each egg, top with a swirl of kewpie mayo, then one of sriracha sauce. Put the egg patty on top, slice on the diagonal. This is roughly 200 kcal per serving.

Options include a good spoonful of lao gan ma in the eggs, a slice of american cheese on top of the egg. I've replaced the cabbage with pretty much any slaw-compatible veg: kale, carrots, shredded broccoli. Based on the Korean "Grandma" sandwich I remembered from Seoul street food. They use ketchup, but I prefer sriracha instead. They also often dust with sugar, which no thank-you.

+++

Eggs with silken tofu [2]: slice a leek fine, sweat it until soft. Dice tofu into discs, stir in to warm along with 1 tbs each of oyster sauce, (light) soy sauce and chili crisp with fermented black beans. heat through then add 2 eggs, whisked with a bit of cornstarch water and some sesame oil. As you stir in the egg, remove from heat. The desired consistency is an egg custard.

The recipe above is 300ish Kcal. I often chop in a half tomato as that greatly improves flavour, if I have one handy. Many vegetables can sub in for the leek if you don't like aliums. I've also made this with firmer tofus in a pinch, but crumbled them instead---works OK.

[1] Universal stir fry sauce: https://hot-thai-kitchen.com/universal-stir-fry-sauce/

[2] soondubu & egg: https://futuredish.com/soondubu-egg-delicious-5-min-breakfast-bowl/
posted by bonehead at 6:29 PM on August 29, 2023 [4 favorites]


For a decade, I cooked my eggs of most varieties in a blue steel French crepe pan that I never washed with soap. Then I realized my ancient carbon steel wok that also never sees soap is the greatest egg cooking surface of all time and I've been doing that for a quarter of a century with zen delight. Plus, cooking that way makes the fluffiest omelettes imaginable with nothing added (salt, pepper, and maybe a little room temperature camembert folded in right at the end—no milk, no cream, nothing much else other than a little taragon when I'm feeling sassy, because it's all handling and technique rather than hallowed secret ingredients. I think it's the paradigm change that made me adore minimalist cooking and simple meals above all the fancy show-off cuisine.
posted by sonascope at 7:31 PM on August 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


This guy got me to relax about seasoning my pans. Seriously, people treat it like a religion that you can't wash your carbon steel and cast iron pans, and that you have to protect the purity of the precious seasoning with your life or what's wrong with you?!

I clean my pans now with soap all the time. I make eggs that don't stick every morning in them. It's fine. You can relax. Just rub with a little oil after washing so they don't rust, then quickly heat them up hot right before using.

Also, carbon steel is nicer than cast iron because you can actually lift a carbon steel pan with ease.

Also, the very first time you season a pan you can easily remove the factory coating from the cooking surface (what is that stuff? I don't know, I don't want it in my food, though) by boiling something acidic like diluted vinegar in it. It will be shiny in a couple of minutes. Also works if you haven't been washing your pans and now the seasoning is so thick it's starting to flake off in your food, gross. No scrubbing needed to get a fresh shiny surface to start over with. Do immediately rub some oil over the surface after doing this because that shiny surface will rust really fast if you don't.
posted by antinomia at 5:26 AM on August 30, 2023 [3 favorites]


In my Mexican family, the most common thing to throw into eggs is Mexican chorizo. Chorizo con huevos is so simple but so amazing.

My Dad's favorite eggs though were always these light fluffy eggs he would make with caramelized onions. The recipe was basically: 1) Whip eggs in a bowl until very fluffy. 2) Caramelize onions slowly in a pan 3) Throw eggs into pan at very low heat. 4) Slowly stir the eggs until you have fluffy, onion-y eggs.

Both of the above eaten with fresh tortillas.
posted by vacapinta at 5:55 AM on August 30, 2023 [6 favorites]


Okay, okay, okay, this is my moment to evangelize about Turkish Çılbır, poached eggs over lots of yogurt sauce with spiced butter that is SO much more than the sum of its parts. The linked video shows the shallow-poaching method that has changed my life. This is so easy and so good, I make it when we're camping.

Nadia's roll-ups, as mentioned above, are also a constant in our house.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:06 AM on August 30, 2023 [2 favorites]


following on to slappy_pinchbottom: in France, they not only eat fewer eggs for breakfast, they don't have the Easter bunny. It's just not a bonne idée.
posted by adekllny at 7:37 AM on August 30, 2023 [5 favorites]


A FoodWishes video on Çılbır, as that one won't load for me. Another from Middle Eats.
posted by snuffleupagus at 8:20 AM on August 30, 2023


I make eggs that don't stick every morning in them.

I read this in my head as "I make eggs that don't stick every morning in them", and had a good chuckle even though I knew what it really meant.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:00 AM on August 30, 2023 [1 favorite]


Corn tortillas are superior to flour tortillas every time, except when eating huevos con chorizo or huevos con machaca.

In this house I make the scrambled eggs and everyone has a different taste. I have mastered the art of regulating the heat to make a hard scramble, followed by folded eggs, and finishing with my soft scramble using the residual heat from the previous two. This post has given me new ideas to try.
posted by Dr. Curare at 3:21 PM on August 30, 2023 [1 favorite]


There's a style I'm not surprised is missing here, because it's kind of the worst of all worlds: what I know of as country-scrambled.

It is not, as the majority of search results for that name would have you believe, a recipe for scrambled eggs with homey ingredients mixed in. Instead, it's a technique where you basically half-ass the scramble by adding whole eggs directly to the pan without blending them together first, then letting them set for a second before scrambling, such that you still have streaks of white instead of a uniform yellow.

This technique has no benefit other than efficiency (and ease of making on a flat-top), but I have a very special place in my heart for them because they were what you got when you ordered eggs with your fried chicken breakfast at Jodie's Restaurant in Albany, CA, when it was still open. I once asked Jodie why he did the eggs that way and he just said "Because that's how I've always done them." RIP Jodie.
posted by rhiannonstone at 9:36 PM on August 30, 2023 [2 favorites]


I didn't ever consider there was a specific term for that technique, rhiannonstone, but this is also how I scramble eggs in fried rice because...well, because it seems like fried rice always has the distinct colors, at least in my favorite restaurants' applications.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:17 AM on August 31, 2023 [2 favorites]


@rhiannonstone - When I was short ordering for a time, we referred to that as a "marbled egg" and I completely forgot to include it in the list. It's my preferred egg for bulkie roll egg sandwiches for on the go eating. Because as much as I love a good runny egg yolk, it's not terribly practical for hands based consumption!
posted by drewbage1847 at 8:28 AM on August 31, 2023 [1 favorite]


I just put on two eggs to hardboil via the wet method (which is the best). Also, Smittenkitchen has the absolute best method for frying an egg: the crispy egg.
posted by bluesky43 at 2:41 PM on August 31, 2023 [1 favorite]


My comfort food is to add curry powder to scrambled eggs. Absolutely delicious. Slap it in a tortilla and it's my go-to fridge-raiding meal.

Now I think about it, it's kinda a weird British + US hybrid. The colonial history of both my old and new country squished into one meal, plus an egg.
posted by EllaEm at 10:43 AM on September 3, 2023


"Also, carbon steel is nicer than cast iron because you can actually lift a carbon steel pan with ease."

I weighed them both, and our de Buyer carbon steel pan is slightly heavier than our US-made cast iron one. It's also better for cooking things. I was surprised how heavy it is.
posted by sneebler at 2:48 PM on September 4, 2023


My 8" DeBuyer pan is about one tenth the weight of my 10" cast iron skillet of the same shape. Maybe less. Night and day.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:10 PM on September 4, 2023


Seriously, people treat it like a religion that you can't wash your carbon steel and cast iron pans, and that you have to protect the purity of the precious seasoning with your life or what's wrong with you?!

I'm not so much religious or puritanical as I just don't feel a need to use soap on something that doesn't need soap. I cook an egg, which leaves virtually no residue, wipe out the pan while it's still hot and greasy, and hang it on a hook on a rack over my kitchen island. If it needs more, it's usually a quick schloosh under the tap and then I hang it up. I could always wash it with soap, then re-oil the pan, then put it away, but why make more work for myself when that work isn't required and doesn't produce any benefit I can make out? If it's had a stovetop calamity and needs to be washed with soap, fine, but in general, prevention is worth more than cure.
posted by sonascope at 9:20 AM on September 5, 2023


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