Twas the parody before Xmas

December 22, 2002 2:06 PM

Twas the night before Xmas and all through the net,
The geeks would be googling the ascii character set;
Metafilter refreshed on their PCs with care,
In the hopes that their FPP soon would be there;

Then up in the blue there arose such a clatter,
Mathowie sprang up to see what's the matter;
When, what to my wondering eyes there should be,
The canonical list of "Twas" parodies.
posted by Wet Spot (11 comments total)

'Twas 3 days before Xmas in the MeFi 'hood,
A lone poster commented, "This is good."
posted by ecrivain at 2:37 PM on December 22, 2002

If you're already tired of doggerel verse,
Just wait 'til the thread starts. It's bound to get worse.
posted by Vidiot at 2:52 PM on December 22, 2002

haiku that ain't.
posted by quonsar at 2:56 PM on December 22, 2002

I once wrote a "Night Before Christmas" parody, for a discussion board on an "adults-only" web site.

I will say no more.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:07 PM on December 22, 2002

J'adore the Dictionary version:

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated saccarinose fruit confections performing choreography through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head-coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the Arctic-like gloom when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.

Heh.
posted by mediareport at 3:12 PM on December 22, 2002

Now! quonsar, now! dhartung, now! XQUZYPHYR, and oissubke,
On! riffola, on! donkeyschlong, on! fold_and_mutilate and madamjujujive;
To the cries of "Newsfilter"! To the pancakes and ponies!
Now flame away! flame away! You and your cronies!
posted by Wet Spot at 3:13 PM on December 22, 2002

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a soul was stirring
Not even a mouse
Because somebody had stolen all the spoons.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 3:22 PM on December 22, 2002

Just in case some of those parodies are a little too political (like the adolescent ramblings under 'Afghanistan'), here is a purely phonetic parody:

Tweeze Denied Beef Worker Isthmus.
posted by jamespake at 3:34 PM on December 22, 2002

These parodies are only really enjoyable if you are interested in the theme, i.e., I love Wet Spot's parodies, but the David Duchovny one was a minute of my life I'll never get back.
posted by orange swan at 6:44 PM on December 22, 2002

I read the first two. They were fairly racist, right-wing nonsense. I had to go!
posted by ed\26h at 7:55 AM on December 23, 2002

Fuck that racist, jingoistic bullshit.
Really.
posted by 2sheets at 9:48 AM on December 23, 2002