he's coming! look out!

December 24, 2002 11:31 AM

The world's most wanted man has embarked on his annual breaking-and-entering spree! Stop him before he reaches your house, using the power of NORAD. Track him as he wends his way around the world...(see! Missile-defense technology IS good for something!)
posted by amberglow (14 comments total)

Ahhh, tax dollars at work...
posted by zekinskia at 11:35 AM on December 24, 2002

with thanks to KevinSanders!
posted by amberglow at 11:35 AM on December 24, 2002

Don't forget the groovy tunes performed by the USAF Band of the Rockies,
the USAF Band of Mid-America, and the Royal Canadian Artillery Band. NORAD's rockin' around the Christmas tree.
posted by ecrivain at 11:36 AM on December 24, 2002

Uhm, I don't see the big screen I asked for in the sleigh...
posted by Kevin Sanders at 11:40 AM on December 24, 2002

Royal Canadian Artillery Band Conductor: "ok, ok, 14-inch cannons, you're coming in a little late there, eh? on three, take it from the mortar barrage, a-one, a-two, and-a..."
posted by quonsar at 11:46 AM on December 24, 2002

Sorry, Kevin Sanders...you must have been bad this year! ;-)
posted by byort at 11:47 AM on December 24, 2002

Wait, nevermind, I sent my letter to Santa to the South Pole not the North Pole...
posted by Kevin Sanders at 11:50 AM on December 24, 2002

My view of the tracker tells me Santa is in Qatar about now. Is he part of the desert exercises happening there?
posted by kokogiak at 11:57 AM on December 24, 2002

Yes. He's a pretty skilled pilot, and will be a great asset in the war against, um, whoever.

I would just like to note that the little RealPlayer movies of Santa are lame. Cyber-Santa? DigiSanta? Bleh. If they're gonna do it, would it be so hard to do some really crappy blue screen with a real actor?

Just call me Scrooge.
posted by readymade at 12:28 PM on December 24, 2002

The world's most wanted man

Look closer: Santa is a woman!
posted by homunculus at 1:32 PM on December 24, 2002

Is it me or does everyone just plum forget about Hannukkah Harry? He once saved Christmas, ya know.
posted by LexRockhard at 2:46 PM on December 24, 2002

readymade, I agree those real movies are just awful. What kid is going to believe that is real?
posted by riffola at 2:53 PM on December 24, 2002

Santa....mmmm. Looks like Satan

Santa is impossible anyway! His reindeer would burst into flame!

Spirit of Scrooge: sadistically destroying your toddler's cherished illusions with facts and science

bwah ha ha ha!
posted by troutfishing at 3:18 PM on December 24, 2002

(wretches and vomits violently into a bucket held by an elf at his bedside.) from Hanukkah Harry

My 15 minutes of fame on MetaFilter - I was that elf!
posted by garypratt at 5:25 PM on December 24, 2002