Naked Dave - A Woman's Obsession

March 1, 2003 8:12 PM

The story of love is sometimes one of pain. Who amongst us doesn't have some failed obsession from their past. You know the one, that person who didn't love you back or didn't love you in the way you needed to be loved. So, what do you about these unresolved feelings? Well, you create a web site and paint a lot of pictures of the guy naked of course. The result is Naked Dave -- A Woman's Obsession.
posted by willnot (34 comments total)

The text of the post may have come across a little more flippant that I intended. I really do feel for her. I don't think I ever quite got over my first heart break. I was a devil may care teenager, and Lisa didn't quite groove on me as much as I did her. She kept telling me she was interested, but we could never quite get it together. I never knew if she just didn't have the heart to crush mine like she should have or if she wanted to keep me around as a safety date. Either way, a lifetime later I still haven't entirely gotten over her. I never thought to paint pictures of her although it's possible I burned one of the pictures she gave me.
posted by willnot at 8:16 PM on March 1, 2003

She is a loon, big time.

I do not feel for her.
Leave that man alone
posted by lampshade at 8:34 PM on March 1, 2003

I live a life which is by no means glamorous myself, but that's downright pathetic.

Then again, as anyone who's ever tried to offer advice to a woman as a result of her obsessive complaining can attest, telling this woman to "get a life" is evidently futile (she states that explicitly on the home page anyway).

Leave that man alone? He doesn't seem to care... more power to him. I see 50 cats in that woman's future.
posted by clevershark at 8:52 PM on March 1, 2003

Wow. The object of her "crush" is artist Dave Stevens ("Rocketeer" creator, Betty Page, and Airboy illustrator, and general admirer of the female form). Not very prolific, but well-known as a comic artist and cover illustrator perfectionist.
</comic geek>
posted by Shane at 9:42 PM on March 1, 2003

I always thought that when I ran into my ex after so very long, it would be the best 'revenge' to see how much he has not changed, and how pathetic that is. I trust that the great cosmic fates will reward my non-action and lack of vindictive or obsessive behavior during and after the breakup with a perfect vignette of how schlumpy and loserly he is now.
posted by oflinkey at 10:35 PM on March 1, 2003

At least she didn't fall for the temptation of painting him as a devil. Even though she refers to him as a hypocrite and coward all the way trough the text.

Jilted, vengeful lovers should be paid as little attention as possible.
posted by spazzm at 10:53 PM on March 1, 2003

I never got over my first heartbreak either. What I did instead was forge myself into the perfect weapon of revenge.

I studied the various arts and sciences, gaining knowledge and wisdom as though from the very masters of old by committing their books to memory.

Then I devoted several years to perfecting my body: meditation and yogic postures, swimming, weight training, gymnastics, boxing, and fencing became my avocations, and I strove to improve myself with every spare minute.

By degrees my plan was coming to fruition, but my vengeance would never be perfect until I could crush the objection of my discarded love, not only emotionally but financially. To do this, I would need a fortune in liquid assets as well as property, therefore I began a careful study of the stock market, and in a matter of months had parlayed my meager inheritance into a small fortune, which I, never one to rest on my laurels, further increased by various prudent investments in real estate.

The next and final step in my methodical plan is to have my face altered by surgical means, so that she will not recognize the man whose life she ruined.

Then I will woo her, and seduce her to her destruction, and she will live to regret that I never had the nerve to ask her out! Permanently!
posted by Hildago at 10:53 PM on March 1, 2003

Yeah that is Dave Stevens. Hmm, lets see we have a somewhat weird if not militant unknown feminist cartoonist using another well-known cartoonist to make some message. Looks like the message is, "Free PR! Look at me!"
posted by skallas at 10:59 PM on March 1, 2003

Hildago I think there may be a book in your life story. You could call it The Petty Gatsby.
posted by willnot at 11:17 PM on March 1, 2003

Hildago, I'm sorry! Please, don't seduce me to my destruction! Take my sister, and just seduce her to distraction instead. ;)

Funny enough, I have a Dave Stevens piece that I got at a comic convention, probably a decade ago. I think he traded me one of his for one of mine. (Ah, the perqs of sitting in Artist Alley...and having tits....it's a comic show, I know we got all the free stuff because we were some of the only girls there. Well, the only girls that didn't have stuffed dragons or star trek costumes. )

His art is stunning, if you dig that style...and I do.
posted by dejah420 at 12:34 AM on March 2, 2003

Christ, since when does putting something on the net make you NOT a psycho? The "it's alright if you talk about it publicly" BS.
posted by HTuttle at 12:56 AM on March 2, 2003

My paintings make my own statement that I am true to my emotions even if they are unpleasant ones like rage and obsession which may upset the viewer and I boldly declare that my passions, needs and desires are not pathological.

I don't think she's nutty--if anything, I think she's dealing with heartbreak in a wonderful way. It's not the way I would deal with it, but I still think that it's pretty interesting. Lots of other artists have used old flames as subjects, so why can't this lady?
posted by ashbury at 5:54 AM on March 2, 2003

I agree with ashbury. Lot of male circling-the-wagons here. If we obsess about our ex-girlfriends, it's art, but if they obsess about us... look out! Crazed psycho bitch alert! Her stuff's not bad; certainly as good as his, from my non-comix-geek point of view. Who cares what her hangups are? Aren't most artists pretty screwed up in one way or another?
posted by languagehat at 7:55 AM on March 2, 2003

She had a 5 month affair with this guy 24 years ago, and still obsesses over it, even after a failed marriage.

It would still be cool with me, if she just stuck to the pictures. But the paintings seems to be just window dressing to her hateful ranting.
posted by spazzm at 8:08 AM on March 2, 2003

Lot of male circling-the-wagons here. If we obsess about our ex-girlfriends, it's art, but if they obsess about us... look out!

Hmmm.

I've never actually had an ex-girlfreind obsess over me. It was always civil and freindly when we parted more or less. I feel...inadquate now.
posted by jonmc at 8:29 AM on March 2, 2003

What a psycho. Dave needs to file a restraining order.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 8:34 AM on March 2, 2003

The thing is, for some reason women seem to like pain... you don't see too many guys think, at the end of a good day, "why don't I go to Blockbusters and rent something that will make me feel sad to the point of crying?"

Do women only feel alive when they're suffering? what's up with that?
posted by clevershark at 9:14 AM on March 2, 2003

I'm not a lady, clevershark, but I like to listen to depressing music when I'm depressed. I think it's because it enunciates what you're feeling, sharpens it into a point. Theoretically, enough Townes van Zandt can induce a catharsis, by which you are purged of self-pity.
posted by Hildago at 11:25 AM on March 2, 2003

Dave objectifies women (making them look they just stepped out of Maxim) an ex-girlfriend arguably objectifies him (and makes him look like a movie-star in the process)
posted by lucien at 12:12 PM on March 2, 2003

The thing is, for some reason women seem to like pain...

Tsk, tsk, clevershark. You're lucky it's the weekend because I think you would get jumped on so badly with that statement. I would amend that to some types of people seem to like pain..., altho even that would be a simplification of the complex systems that govern our emotions and allow us to heal/mature/grow/etc. As Hildago pointed out, he likes to listen to depressing music when he is depressed (which hopefully isn't all the time :), similarly, others like to write bad poetry, and still others go out and abuse themselves with drugs and alcohol. Then there's the always popular "revenge fuck" which often causes more damage than good.

I agree that the lady is obsessive about this, but hey, we all have our thing, don't we? I would hope that if I became obsessive over something/someone that it would manifest itself as harmless as hers has turned out to be.
posted by ashbury at 12:53 PM on March 2, 2003

she doesn't seem crazy to me. people use the people in their lives as fodder/inspiration for their artistic endeavors all the time. from novels to paintings to plays, you name it. it's her life experience she's entitled to capitalize on it and use it however she likes. if you don't like it then you've got yourself an argument with all your fave writers, painters, composers, etc. we rarely hear about the intimate relationships they've used/betrayed to make a living but the world is littered with those who would love to see a certain book, song, painting, whatever, removed from the public eye.

(and makes him look like a movie-star in the process)

even with all the artistic license she's taken with his visage, he's still fairly difficult to look at, blech.

The thing is, for some reason women seem to like pain... you don't see too many guys think, at the end of a good day, "why don't I go to Blockbusters and rent something that will make me feel sad to the point of crying?"

bullpucky. i hate pain and avoid it as often as possible and i have never in my life rented a movie purposely to make myself cry. in fact i send out warnings to all my (grateful) girlfriends after i've seen a movie that makes me feel like shit, so they can avoid it too.
posted by t r a c y at 1:04 PM on March 2, 2003

Well, much as I expected the voices joining in the outcry whenever someone says something about "women" (or "men" or "white people" or "black people") can anyone here tell me what percentage of "guy flicks" are tear-jerkers?

And besides that figure, how many "chick flicks" are tear-jerkers?

Is one of these numbers significantly higher than the other?
posted by clevershark at 4:27 PM on March 2, 2003

Just because men and women react to certain events in different ways does not mean that they "like pain". They may be able to empathize with others better than men, to share their pain better than men, and frankly, I think they are better off for it. And using movies as your rating stick is just plain silly.
posted by ashbury at 5:38 PM on March 2, 2003

i've never been totally clear on what a chick flick is... is it one without a male lead, where the protagonists are primarily female...? if i think of films like that i can't think of any that my boyfriend or dad wouldn't watch. is the shawshank redemption a guy flick if there are no female characters pertinent to the story...? can you cry at the end of a guy flick...? zoran and i watched the shawshank redemption this afternoon and he got all teary at the end. my ex husband adored thelma and louise, had a lot of empathy for their plight/flight. one of my dad's favourite films is the first wives club, he loves that particular group of actresses, loves seeing the ex husbands get what's coming to them - even tho he's 2 times an ex himself. i think it's pointless to categorize films as chick/guy flicks. i'd rather categorize the film goer: some people love movies and aren't... what...? sexist...? scared of emotion...? have a broader sense of empathy...? better imaginations...? while others seem to need films which fit some sort of fantasy about themselves and or the world around them and can only enjoy a narrow selection... like guys who snort at what they consider chick flicks. that's so... unmanly, unevolved, or something.

/way fricking off topic
posted by t r a c y at 5:53 PM on March 2, 2003

LOL! Tracy, I love how your message ends with a completely politically-incorrect ad hominem slur...

OK, so we don't agree. I'm not going to call you names for it. Looks like everyone's busy picking at individual words in order to avoid discussing how my original opinion fits in the context of this story, so "fark it".
posted by clevershark at 6:22 PM on March 2, 2003

Tracy: To answer your question about what a "chick flick" is, I believe they are marked on the cover as "drama".

Most people can stomach a drama every once in a while, but to demand that every movie one watches is a drama is as one sided as insisting on only watching flicks about internal combustion engines.
posted by spazzm at 6:42 PM on March 2, 2003

I also find it interesting that you boast your broad sense of empathy, and then call people who don't like the same movies as you "unmanly, unevolved".
posted by spazzm at 6:49 PM on March 2, 2003

Tracy, since many films are indeed made specifically to be "chick flicks", a lot of the disparaging things you say about people who are able to make that distinction aren't really apt.
posted by Hildago at 6:54 PM on March 2, 2003

Looks like everyone's busy picking at individual words in order to avoid discussing how my original opinion fits in the context of this story

clevershark, I thought we were addressing your opinion in context to the story. Tracy and I don't agree with your opinion, therefore there's some discussion. Where's the avoidance?
posted by ashbury at 8:23 PM on March 2, 2003

LOL! Tracy, I love how your message ends with a completely politically-incorrect ad hominem slur...

i know...! i tried so hard not to say it, but alas i failed. mostly because i was trying to make a point, duh.

OK, so we don't agree. I'm not going to call you names for it.

i had to go back and see what it is we disagree over, so i'm assuming you mean where i said that it's bullpucky that girls like to make themselves cry over certain types of movies. of course i disagree, i'm a girl and i don't do that sort of thing. but where did i call you names...?

I also find it interesting that you boast your broad sense of empathy, and then call people who don't like the same movies as you "unmanly, unevolved".

nowhere did i say i was terribly empathetic or that i like dramas. in fact i tend to avoid dramas in favour of science fiction and fantasy, comedies, and documentaries. i do however find that it gets under my skin when people categorize some movies as chick flicks - which comes off only as a way of insulting women - when i don't see the people i know differentiate between said chick flicks and all other films. anyway, point lost or badly made or both.

To answer your question about what a "chick flick" is, I believe they are marked on the cover as "drama".

there's no such thing as a chick flick, i don't care what any of you say :-p
posted by t r a c y at 8:47 PM on March 2, 2003

To answer your question about what a "chick flick" is, I believe they are marked on the cover as "drama".

By that definition the aforementioned Shawshank Redemption is a chick flick. Yah, NO.

Some filmmakers may set out to make "chick flicks" but I'd hazard a guess that they end up not being very good films. You either have a good story to tell or you don't, and a good story will be appreciated by people of all genders, whether it's a big noisy action film or a quiet study of human foibles. But let's be honest, the term chick flick is dismissive (regardless of it's so called professional applicataion) and judging by the defensiveness around this joint there's a few of you who secretly use it as an insult and indeed snort while doing so :D

To veer back on original topic, I must say that Naked Dave woman seems rather harmless, and has a pretty good sense of humour. Personally I would never let an ex know I was hurt or obssessed with the failure of the relationship because I'm extremely prideful in that way. But then emotional pain has never been a creative impetus for me, as it is for so many others, and as it clearly is for this woman.

Just looking at Dave's site right now and I find his artwork to be entirely vacant.
posted by zarah at 10:21 PM on March 2, 2003

Hildago I think there may be a book in your life story. You could call it The Petty Gatsby.

Ho ho. I think the book's already been written.
posted by Summer at 6:26 AM on March 3, 2003

Chick flicks are like pornography. I know it when I see it. I still can't believe that the chick in question is obsessing over something that happened 24 years ago. Almost a quarter century. There are probably people in this thread who are not that old. Hey crazy lady, get over yourself. time to grow up, move on, etc.
posted by monkeyman at 7:46 AM on March 3, 2003

It's strange when things like this become so ingrained in someone's self-image that they can't let it go. I mean, she's been through a marriage, and has a boyfriend of seven years and she's STILL obsessing over a five month relationship that happened ages ago - wanting revenge for some slight, I mean...get over it already. I think it's pretty sad, but then I've never understood why people obsess over people who don't want them in the first place. No matter how much you think someone should want you the way you want them, sometimes people just don't, and blaming someone for not having feelings for you, as if they can just flick some switch and be in love with you is just silly - if you don't feel that way, then you just don't feel that way, it's nobody's fault. Yes, unrequited love is painful, but at some point you have to pull yourself together and get on with things, not keep picking at the scab like this woman is doing. Her justifications seem hollow - she seems like a nice enough person, she should allow herself to wash this guy out of her hair already.
posted by biscotti at 9:18 AM on March 3, 2003