Latex vac-bed

July 3, 2003 2:05 PM

Latex Vac-Bed"By vacuuming the air from between two layers of 14 gauge latex, the vac-bed immobilizes the person inside and produces an extremely restrictive and sensual experience." Safe for work, but the rest of the site isn't.
posted by Mwongozi (33 comments total)

"..never use the device for self-bondage."

Self-bondage? Do people do that? Dress up in leather and whip themselves? Eh. To each his own, I guess.
posted by graventy at 2:08 PM on July 3, 2003

I think it's safe to say that for those of us who aren't into bondage, and perhaps some who are, that image evoked strong memories of Star Wars rather than intense erotic longing.
posted by Hildago at 2:12 PM on July 3, 2003

It's only though the god-send that is the internet that I learned humans are far far crazier then I was intially lead to believe.
posted by elwoodwiles at 2:20 PM on July 3, 2003

dammit hildago, you beat me to saying...

Well, i personally prefer to be encased in carbonite
posted by NGnerd at 2:30 PM on July 3, 2003

So, will this keep my "dates" fresher? I just hate it when they spoil, but nobody enjoys freezer burn.
posted by willnot at 2:49 PM on July 3, 2003

Now we have a real way of protecting ourselves from chemical and biological attack.
posted by LexRockhard at 2:52 PM on July 3, 2003

Anyone remember that episode of Eerie, Indiana with the family that never aged because they slept in tupperware beds? This seems awfully close to that... :)
posted by qDot at 2:58 PM on July 3, 2003

A claustrophobic's nightmare.
posted by rhapsodie at 3:06 PM on July 3, 2003

...check to see that they can breathe safely thru the breathing hole. It is important to check to make sure that the person inside the Vac-Bed is breathing alright

WARNING: Caution should be taken when using the Vac-Bed. Never leave anyone unattended in the Vac-Bed and never use this device for self-bondage.

hahhaha
posted by delmoi at 3:09 PM on July 3, 2003

In Goldfinger you could kill someone by completely covering their skin with gold preventing it from breathing, wouldn't this do the same thing (or was that codswallop anyway ?)
posted by zeoslap at 3:20 PM on July 3, 2003

zeoslap: I think that's an urban legend
posted by reverendX at 3:22 PM on July 3, 2003

I love that this site for liquid roof sealant is one of the google text ads for this post.
posted by jonah at 3:51 PM on July 3, 2003

Also discussed here with a different but similar link that refers to these set-ups as "human storage containers."
posted by madamjujujive at 4:10 PM on July 3, 2003

I saw this demonstrated on TV some months back. It looked like fun, and not in a masochistic way. What's not to try once or twice? And to think some of you probably bungee jump and whatnot...
posted by G_Ask at 4:10 PM on July 3, 2003

I've seen one of these at Burning Man for the past couple of years, except they cut a hole for your mouth. usually there is a lot of groping going on.
posted by Hackworth at 4:18 PM on July 3, 2003

Am I the only one who saw Latex Vac-Bed and first read it as LaTeX VaC-BeD and thought it was a new thingy for emacs?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:20 PM on July 3, 2003

Must...always....use.....Snopes :)
posted by zeoslap at 5:33 PM on July 3, 2003

I saw this demonstrated on TV some months back. It looked like fun, and not in a masochistic way. What's not to try once or twice? And to think some of you probably bungee jump and whatnot...

Bungee jumping, skydiving, hang-gliding: move quickly through the world, enjoy the freedom of flight, the thrill of speed.

Laytex Bed: endure complete immobility and every inch of your skin in contact with an irritating artificial texture.

Not interested.
posted by weston at 5:37 PM on July 3, 2003

I'm guessing that the words "Latex Vac Bed" and "negligent homicide" are going to be seen in close conjunction much more often in the near future.
posted by RylandDotNet at 6:10 PM on July 3, 2003

They're also selling this book: The Multi-Orgasmic Man. Anyone have any personal expereince with this? A bunch of crap? Somewhat real?
posted by woil at 6:28 PM on July 3, 2003

Could this device be used to generate a whole-body hickey?
posted by mr_roboto at 6:35 PM on July 3, 2003

MetaFilter: usually there is a lot of groping going on.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:01 PM on July 3, 2003

They're also selling this book: The Multi-Orgasmic Man. Anyone have any personal expereince with this? A bunch of crap? Somewhat real?

Well I got the book and let me tell y--
posted by Kafkaesque at 7:16 PM on July 3, 2003

Sorry. It's just that I can't seem to stop hav--
posted by Kafkaesque at 7:17 PM on July 3, 2003

Really. It's kind of inconve--
posted by Kafkaesque at 7:17 PM on July 3, 2003

Prior art.
posted by SPrintF at 7:34 PM on July 3, 2003

woil: yes, and yes.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:13 PM on July 3, 2003

I must admit, the Stockroom has always had rather a pleasant attitude and reliable service, plus they put a Tootsie Pop in each box....

Oh....

Oops...
posted by Samizdata at 1:10 AM on July 4, 2003

Kafkaesque, you're the best.

cigarette?
posted by taz at 1:35 AM on July 4, 2003

This sounds like a bad episode of CSI...

csi guy: "apparently, he was allergic to latex, and somehow was covered over every inch of his body while in the desert. But how? How?"
posted by mecran01 at 6:44 AM on July 4, 2003

Cleanup in thread #26783!

Need a cleanup in thread #26783!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:59 AM on July 4, 2003

Woil: "multi-orgasmic males" do exist-- I'm married to one. However, he didn't learn it from this book, and it doesn't involve funny breathing or not ejaculating or anything like that. It's a natural ability that basically amounts to having a refractory period (possibly NSFW, no images, just text) so short as to be effectively nonexistent. I would guess it's pretty rare-- he's certainly the only one I know of. I doubt it's the sort of thing that can be learned.
posted by Shoeburyness at 8:14 AM on July 4, 2003

Orgasm: intense or paroxysmal excitement; especially : an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female. (MW Online)

Orgasm != ejaculation.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:10 AM on July 4, 2003