Whatever floats your boat...

September 6, 2003 7:31 PM

"Viking'sis an all inclusive erotic adult fantasy resort located in the Caribbean with a full staff of the world's most beautiful and exotic escorts."
posted by sharksandwich (34 comments total)

Ack! Unclosed italic tag! Everything on the front page is in italics, down to this post four days ago.
posted by eyebeam at 7:38 PM on September 6, 2003

What a fascinating idea, I'm amazed no one has thought of it before. I can't help noticing their "Executive Retreat Package" I wonder if "marketing flunky" qualifies as "Executive" in the Dominican Republic?
posted by jonson at 7:46 PM on September 6, 2003

I broke the internet.
posted by sharksandwich at 7:59 PM on September 6, 2003

sharksandwich, which package did you book and how many of your friends are going along?
posted by billsaysthis at 8:00 PM on September 6, 2003

So let me get this straight ... this is a website for a caribbean bordello?
posted by crunchland at 8:08 PM on September 6, 2003

All girls we employ are recruited in Eastern Europe joining our crew here for a period of 4-6 weeks. (Source here)

More Russian women being prostituted? Although these ones appear like they might have made their own choices...
posted by volk at 8:19 PM on September 6, 2003

damn, and here i am, married and broke...
posted by badzen at 8:20 PM on September 6, 2003

billsaysthis: I can HONESTLY say that this sort of thing doesn't appeal to me one bit. My buddy who sent me the link, however, has instructed me that this is where we're going on vacation in 2005. I can never tell if he's serious or not.
posted by sharksandwich at 8:23 PM on September 6, 2003

Gee, that's like Amsterdam with beaches and no weed.
posted by clevershark at 8:44 PM on September 6, 2003

I certainly would hope that there would be no weed. That would mess up all the prostituted sex for me.
posted by graventy at 9:02 PM on September 6, 2003

Urgh. If the girls are making an informed choice to work there, I guess that's cool. And I guess that for $5k a crack, they're probably not picked up off skid row.

I hope they've got a profit-sharing plan, incentive packages, and good benefits. :-)
posted by five fresh fish at 10:01 PM on September 6, 2003

sharksandwich: I HONESTLY believe you. Sure I do. You're probably screaming at your pal every day protesting this idea about 2005. I feel you bro.
posted by billsaysthis at 10:06 PM on September 6, 2003

"Sleep...that's where I'm a Viking!"
posted by kirkaracha at 10:35 PM on September 6, 2003

When you start scratching your head and wondering how all those fat, old bastards are getting it on with jittery teens from eastern Europe and southeast Asia, just reference the law of the jungle. Revolting and sad.

I taught English in Thailand for two years, and I saw boatloads of lonely project managers attempt to fit together their two-week Napoleon or Peter Pan fixes, and some of the locals were happy to help them along. Some get smashed on the rocks and bleached out by the sun; others fall into ashtrays and slowly burn out.

This king-of-the-world fantasy is for losers. I never saw anyone come out ahead, or even with as much as he brought into it. Try to fall in love, boys.
posted by squirrel at 10:38 PM on September 6, 2003

I read up on one of these in Costa Rica back in '97-8. You got to pick from a line up at the airport and had a companion for the duration. Never got that desperate.
posted by HTuttle at 11:45 PM on September 6, 2003

I know about Peter Pan, but tell me more about this Napoleon, squirrel...
posted by majcher at 12:47 AM on September 7, 2003

i am with squirrel...nuts to this place
posted by SNACKeR at 4:38 AM on September 7, 2003

"...$5k a crack,"

Ewwwww!
posted by jpburns at 7:38 AM on September 7, 2003

Hey it's like being a star in your own porno movie!
posted by carfilhiot at 8:28 AM on September 7, 2003

I hope they wash the sheets well.
posted by carter at 9:46 AM on September 7, 2003

And everything else, probably.
posted by carter at 9:47 AM on September 7, 2003

Ewwwww! I didn't go there, jp! That was entirely your own fetid imagination!
posted by five fresh fish at 10:22 AM on September 7, 2003

It always astonishes me, the ease with which men use prostitutes and somehow convince themselves that these women don't hate them.

Or perhaps they don't care.
posted by jokeefe at 10:28 AM on September 7, 2003

jokeefe, unless the men treat them as less than human, or the women are forced into doing this against their will, why do you assume the women hate their clients?
posted by billsaysthis at 11:22 AM on September 7, 2003

It always astonishes me, the ease with which men use prostitutes and somehow convince themselves that these women don't hate them.

ooooh, I'll have to disagree with you there. As billsaysthis mentions, I think it all depends. I know a few call girls and none of them hate men in general, or their clients in particular. I don't think you could be good escort and not like men...men aren't complete idiots, they would figure it out if you hated them.

Now, is that true at the street-walker level...I dunno.

The thing that concerns me about this particular bordello is that it doesn't look like there is any way for the girls to "escape", both figuratively and literally. Considering the amount of sex slaving going on in the countries where these girls were "recruited", and considering that there isn't a way for the girls to leave if they don't like it (without permission and possibly a chartered plane)...I would venture to say that these girls may not be there of their own free will.
posted by dejah420 at 12:41 PM on September 7, 2003

I still say if prostitution were legalized, it could be independently regulated, federally taxed, the women could unionize, the prices would go down, the quality would go up, you'd get the criminal element out of it and all would be right with the world. Excepting of course for that part about everybody going to hell. =) Of course, actually treating women as something other than cattle? Trying to improve the world's oldest profession so that it could become socially acceptable? Where's the fun in that? Where's the profit? The people in power who come up with cockamaimee schemes like this Viking thing? They like things just the way they are, so they can screw over more suckers, use women like disposable tampons, and make insane gobs of money on the backs of others... who are on their backs.

Conservative theology doesn't keep this kinda crap from happening. It enables it. It encourages it by its denial. Prostitution wouldn't be sickening if it was taken out of the red light and put into the sunlight. Sure, we'd all burn in hell but at least the ladies would get guaranteed three week's paid vacation, medical benefits, 401k plans, maternity leave, and all the trimmings. I could live with hell, knowing that. Right now the odds these women are getting anything above and beyond whatever's required to keep them oiled, tanned, clean and flowery for the duratiion of their physical usefullness, well they're not good odds. So maybe some of them are living in paradise and some of them are living in hell on Earth. Impossble to tell since there's no regulation. No need to be legit if the world assumes you're illegitimate anyway. And maybe some of them are in paradise now but when their bodies give under the strain are they figuratively sent out to pasture, or thrown to the wolves, or turned into glue? Again, impossible to tell. Society treats its football stars better than it does its prostitutes. Why do I find injustice in that?

But maybe the whole bottom line thing about what prostitution really is, is that the man wants to be able to have sex with a woman and have all these fantasies fulfilled, without actually having to provide for the woman in question indefinitely. Maybe that's the real fantasy. Pay for her expenses for one night, get treatment that she wouldn't offer an actual husband if she had one, and then be on his way like cowboys in b/w western movies. Or like a viking. Come in. Rape and pillage. Be on his way. Well. That's not my fantasy.
posted by ZachsMind at 1:49 PM on September 7, 2003

But then they wouldn't be very good whores, which means they wouldn't be "worth" $5000 a pop.

opps. I double-entrendred again!
posted by five fresh fish at 1:50 PM on September 7, 2003

jokeefe, unless the men treat them as less than human, or the women are forced into doing this against their will, why do you assume the women hate their clients?

my best friend never worked for less than $1000 an hour and from all appearances she was well worth it. you would never have guessed she was a call girl what with the custom made chanel outfits and her high-born good looks. she was treated extremely well by her clients and in turn treated each of them like gold; she also hated them quite thoroughly behind their backs. she had derogatory nicknames for each of them and would make us all laugh helplessly at her broad imitations of their love making. i'd bring her on here to support this (she was never coy about what she did, even paid taxes as a declared whore) but unfortunately she died a few years back, of work related causes.
posted by t r a c y at 3:55 PM on September 7, 2003

What amazes me is that a good percentage of prostitutes were molested at some time during their childhood or adolescence. This used to completely befuddle me. Why would they go into a career in sex after having a traumatizing experience with it? But the answers make sense with a little thought.

A prostitute is (theoretically) now in control of the situation. She has turned sex into a transaction in which she names a price and some ground rules/limits about what the price is good for, and then she is paid. So, she has returned to a traumatic situation on her own terms and in a position of "power." (Naturally, we can imagine things don't work out so ideally with every trick, but these are the concepts, anyway.)

Now, assuming the prostitute never fully dealt with her trauma, or maybe that she completely repressed it, this makes even more sense. The subconscious has a tendency to lead the mind back to any unresolved trauma in an attempt to force the conscious to resolve it. So, the prostitute may be revisiting an area of past trauma to confront it.

It makes sense. Or does it? I'm only a layman who has done a little reading. Any professional opinions in the house?
posted by Shane at 5:31 PM on September 7, 2003

The subconscious has a tendency to lead the mind back to any unresolved trauma in an attempt to force the conscious to resolve it.

It does?
posted by five fresh fish at 7:55 PM on September 7, 2003

It does?

As far as I can tell, if you lock something up down in the basement, it generally tries to claw its way out.
posted by Shane at 8:02 PM on September 7, 2003

By that line of thinking, I must have had something traumatic happen to me on the computer because I keep clawing my way back to this infernal machine. Not that I mean to diminish your opinion, Shane. Everyone has a right to their opinion, but your statement is akin to saying the criminal always returns to the scene of the crime. If that applies at all, it may only apply to the criminals who inevitably get caught, and it's impossible to keep track of the ones who do not. I think some prostitutes may have sexual related trauma related to their childhood, but others do not. I doubt it's more than fifty fifty, but again it's impossible to measure this or quantify it.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:13 PM on September 7, 2003

I think some prostitutes may have sexual related trauma related to their childhood, but others do not.

Of course. Fair enough. Good point about the computer, heh. I have no idea about statistics on the phenomenon. Personal experience seems to bear it out to some extent, based on one previous girlfriend (at least one. There's my "trauma" that leads me back to this issue, heh.) Oh, and, Traci Lords's* childhood fits the pattern, too. But no pattern is universal.

It does give you a new perspective on prostitution and pornography, though. It really makes me stop and think, anyway. It makes me wonder how many people consciously choose these careers without related issues (or coercion). What's the real story in that porno flick?

*I'm almost curious to read her new book, after having read a couple of interviews with her. The title is a bit of sensationalism and tease, though.
posted by Shane at 6:02 AM on September 8, 2003

We've all been traumatized by MetaFilter. We should start a support group. Quick! Over to MetaTalk!
posted by five fresh fish at 9:13 AM on September 8, 2003