Stuffed in more ways than one

November 13, 2003 4:29 PM

Just in time for xmas, it's Critters U Love: stuffed animals with robust genitalia. About as apealing as erotic cakes (funny, tho).
posted by mathowie (30 comments total)

NSFW...if you work at a pet store?
posted by scody at 4:38 PM on November 13, 2003

Flamingo? Somebody needs an anatomy lesson, I think....

weird, Matt. Very weird.
posted by anastasiav at 4:52 PM on November 13, 2003

Flamingo? Somebody needs an anatomy lesson, I think....

Clearly the work of Dr. Mephisto. You just can't see the five asses from that angle.

Me, I'll wait for the flamingo with nine asses and five schlongs.

Or an anatomically-correct (in all 14 dimensions) Cthulhu doll to hug and squeeze and call George and to keep me company as I gibber madly in the night.

Can I also just say that Domingo Flamingo and his Five Schlongs would be a great name for a jazz combo?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:12 PM on November 13, 2003

more coffee, ROU_X?
posted by anastasiav at 5:14 PM on November 13, 2003

ha! thats my xmas-shopping sorted.
posted by dabitch at 5:15 PM on November 13, 2003

They're all boys...
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 5:17 PM on November 13, 2003

Somebody needs an anatomy lesson

note: if your genitalia exhibits a colored, fuzzy growth, see a doctor immediately.
posted by quonsar at 5:24 PM on November 13, 2003

Okay. "Ding A Ling" the panda makes it all worthwhile.

And may I also say that this gives a whole new meaning to the expression "stuffed toy"?
posted by taz at 5:28 PM on November 13, 2003

Orgazmatang?
Masturgator?
Cumbo the Elephant?

This from the same poster who gave us Cat- Scan? I'm beginning to wonder about you, Matt.

Which raises a personal question: I have a lovely 12-year-old fifty-pound lab-mix dog, who, ever since she was spayed has gotten into the habit of humping (male doggy style) a plush tiger that's almost as big as she is... There's no way she could've picked it up from me and my ex-, because... well, there's just no way. Any animal (clears throat) lovers in the MeFi universe with a way to un-teach that old dog that embarrassing trick?

I think I de-railed the thread AND buried the train...
posted by wendell at 5:32 PM on November 13, 2003

Calling all furries!
posted by moonbird at 5:37 PM on November 13, 2003

Wendell, two words: Squirt Gun

Also, wash or throw away the tiger. Maybe both. It could very well be a scent thing, if she doesn't do it to any other objects in your house

or, she could have an itch
posted by anastasiav at 5:47 PM on November 13, 2003

for wendell:

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hound dare seize the fire?
posted by taz at 5:48 PM on November 13, 2003

Thank you, ana, but the squirt gun is already one of her favorite games. (I dread the day she might face a burglar with a real gun) Scent could be an issue, but there are other items she doesn't bother that should have the same scent (and , no, I will not elaborate on that). I'm starting to focus on localized itching, which means Somebody Needs a Bath! (besides me...)

And thank you, taz, but I think we need to save "poetic-posting" for one specific day of the week. I'll have to take it to MeTa, I know.
BTW, who was it that said: "More creepy: "nether regions", or "genitalia"? Tie."?

man, I'm better at derailing than a pot-smokin' Amtrak engineer...
posted by wendell at 6:12 PM on November 13, 2003

This was posted in July 2001, but the url has changed since then.

What I was really looking for when I searched was that long ago thread about the guy who liked to have sex with plush animals. Couldn't find it, but anyway I'm sure HE knows about this web site and finds these critters dead sexy.
posted by orange swan at 6:14 PM on November 13, 2003

did i ever tell y'all about a dog i once had, beezer. we taught her to hump leg vigorously on command. that's a great ice-breaker.
posted by quonsar at 6:17 PM on November 13, 2003

did i ever tell y'all about a dog i once had, beezer...
but did he feel pretty?
posted by amberglow at 6:22 PM on November 13, 2003

she was very pretty.
leave it to you to introduce gender blending into the mix!
posted by quonsar at 6:26 PM on November 13, 2003

You're right, Wendell, about nether regions versus genitalia, but you'll notice that I didn't directly address the question of "ding a lings". (Also, are you sure you parsed the poem thoroughly?)
posted by taz at 6:27 PM on November 13, 2003

taz, I think I missed something in your poem/post (after my last haircut, it's harder to notice things whizzing over my head), and fire is definately not what I'm worried about my hound seizing. But I did get the nether regions/genitalia quote off your user page. And I still hold out hope that the day comes when MetaFilter's "ding a lings" outnumber its "dicks".
posted by wendell at 6:37 PM on November 13, 2003

Would somebody please email Matt and tell him there is a double post on the front page that needs to be deleted. Thanks.

Oh! Ummm .... erm .... wait a minute....

I'm too tired to write in a way that's actually funny, aren't I? Oh, well....
posted by anastasiav at 6:51 PM on November 13, 2003

That they all have human-shaped prongs
throws the anatomy out of kilter.
(And though, taz, everyone here belongs
I'm the poet of MetaFilter!)
posted by troybob at 6:54 PM on November 13, 2003

troybob, as the poet of Mefi you take the cake; I was merely quoting Blake!

wendell, I was trying to be funny paraphrasing this, by changing "hand" to "hound" in the second stanza.

... Um. Okay, maybe not funny-ha-ha, but at least punny-funny, which, as usual, ever never works. But I never ever let that stop me.
posted by taz at 7:07 PM on November 13, 2003

It's a mark of my weakness, a mark of my woe
that you quoted Blake, and I didn't even know.
posted by troybob at 7:21 PM on November 13, 2003

I didn't know either, said the scurvy knave,
Who once won a high school poetry contest with a piece titled "Ogden Nash, No Doubt, Is Turning Over in His Grave".
posted by wendell at 7:35 PM on November 13, 2003

Plushies Picnic ("Sung to Teddy Bears Picnic")

If you go out on the web today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go out on the web today
You won't believe your eyes.

For every plushie that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the plushies have their orgy.
posted by m@ at 8:13 PM on November 13, 2003

[FOR CHILDREN AGES 18+]
posted by Down10 at 9:38 PM on November 13, 2003

"Robust Genitalia"?

This phrase will certainly give "Massive Johnson" a run for it's money.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:23 AM on November 14, 2003

Oh damnit. I thought my husband and I were being witty when we named a toy alligator we have "Master Gator".

However, the "masturgator" looks like a dinosaur. Or is that "dinosore"?
posted by Katemonkey at 1:33 AM on November 14, 2003

wendell: My fifty pound 1 year old female lab mix does the same thing, but, uh, not to any stuffed animals. She's fixed, and a girl, but that doesn't stop her from thinking it's her turn in the saddle when daddy sits down on the couch after dinner. If you figure out the secret anti-humping maneuver, please do let me know. I do know that "Not tonight, dear, I have a headache" doesn't work.
posted by rusty at 5:28 AM on November 14, 2003

Wendell--Your dog may have an infection of the Bartholin's glands.

That's kind of all I want to say about that right now.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:30 PM on November 14, 2003