Crappy CNN front page art.

November 30, 2003 11:19 AM

A collection of the god-awful news-art that CNN churns out for its front page.
posted by machaus (21 comments total)

In another lifetime I worked at MSNBC.com and part of my job was cover production. The highlight of our day was to see what heaping piece of poop CNN would come up with to "illustrate" the day's news. There were some that were so bad that folks I worked with were convinced one of us in multimedia had produced a fake cover for laughs. It's hard to believe anyone could be that consistently bad for that long.
posted by photoslob at 11:48 AM on November 30, 2003

I guess it could be worse
posted by omidius at 12:05 PM on November 30, 2003

I stand corrected.
posted by omidius at 12:07 PM on November 30, 2003

Hmm. Isn't this copyright infringement? Or is this covered with "fair use"?
posted by kaemaril at 12:12 PM on November 30, 2003

Fascinating—out of context, they range from the generic to the juvenile to the "what the hell?".
posted by DrJohnEvans at 12:29 PM on November 30, 2003

it really is "How Not to Use Clipart"
posted by amberglow at 12:33 PM on November 30, 2003

I can see the headlines now:

Electronic Immortalization pilot a success; Human test "right around the corner"
Iraq launches sole WMD as Najaf crushed
Bush outlines new targets in the War against Terror
Local metro transit system upgrades its surface vehicles; Peanuts will not be served
White House Rose Garden razed for cattle ranch; Move will be "profitable for the local economy," says Bush
MetaFilter re-opens new member sign-ups
posted by DrJohnEvans at 12:50 PM on November 30, 2003

I wish I knew what CNN had to say about Kerouac!
posted by Satapher at 1:20 PM on November 30, 2003

Look out Cosi...square melons!
posted by boost ventilator at 1:29 PM on November 30, 2003

These things write themselves:

Paul McCartney Totally Has a Crush on Someone. But He Won't Tell!
Women Archers Just as Confusing as Other Women
Worst Photoshop Ever Contest Winner Announced
Angry Squid Steals Copper Penny, Police Suspect May Hit Tennis Balls Next
Ugly Dogs Under Attack All Over US
US Military Drops Mother of All Soccerballs In Iraq
Disco Rats!
Opened Condoms Still Ok Say Researchers, Funding Pulled
iPod Users Totally Have Attitude
posted by will at 2:41 PM on November 30, 2003

I was going to do this exact thing a while ago, but i was counting on torrez to do it first.
posted by Hankins at 4:43 PM on November 30, 2003

will's post is funny enough, but DrJohnEvans has what must be one of the best Metafilter posts ever. I can't even try to compete with that.

Well, okay, here are a couple:
Operation Dark Storm successful: war with machines is imminent

Scientist invents new and improved "super-steroid," but athletes find recommended method of ingestion to be supremely unpleasant
posted by Prospero at 5:09 PM on November 30, 2003

Local Woman Stops Worrying, Learns to Love Bomb.

Economist Explains Benefits of Going Down on Fruit.

Beer is MY Anti-Drug!

(great idea, DrJohn!)
posted by kaibutsu at 5:59 PM on November 30, 2003

Study: Guns don't kill people, hands firing guns kill people
posted by soyjoy at 7:46 PM on November 30, 2003

Roaches invade Indochina; McNamara vindicated at last.
posted by Wet Spot at 9:08 PM on November 30, 2003

Office Web Cam Captures Gruesome Beheading Incident
New statistics reveal IT workers at greatest risk for disk-related injuries
posted by taz at 10:15 PM on November 30, 2003

machaus, thanks for the nice link. soyjoy and taz would get gold stars from me, if I had such a power. I had many more cnn images on a computer at an old job, but I didn't think I'd ever need them.

My favorite has always been the mosquito stinging all of America. Pre-9/11 it was about as apocalyptic as our imaginations got. I wish it wasn't captioned.
posted by djacobs at 10:53 PM on November 30, 2003

Office Web Cam Captures Gruesome Beheading Incident
New statistics reveal IT workers at greatest risk for disk-related injuries


I clicked on this thread because it said "2 new comments" and I completely forgot what the thread was about. Then I saw that link and I was like "Ohhhh yeah, that's the stuff I'm looking for." I've never been so disappointed.
posted by The God Complex at 11:09 PM on November 30, 2003

Sniper Targets "Teecher's Pets"
Forensics experts confirm 56 misspelled words in rambling letter to authorities
_________________________________

Military Analysts: "Brushing Alone Not Enough"
In a strongly worded recommendation to President Bush military advisors urged daily flossing for troops in Iraq
__________________________________

New Bio-engineered "Plant Battery" Reverses Positive, Negative; Marketing Experts Predict Limited Sales
__________________________________

Verdict: New "Surround Sound" Speakers for PC Prove Awkward, Unwieldy
posted by taz at 12:28 AM on December 1, 2003

Fool me once, shame on you... Fool me twice, fumminy fwippity bata--you can't get fooled again.
posted by The God Complex at 12:42 AM on December 1, 2003

Animal Protection Legislation Extended to Insects
Americans Shocked to Learn that Pencils Are Not Neccessary for Writing on the Web
Critics Ridicule Michael's Simplistic Rendering of House
Citizen Angry Over Mass Slaughter of Family and Friends
Books and Learning Remain Primary Threat in U.S.
"Dude! Did you see that bitchin' fire? It was like 'woosh' and we were like 'whoa'", says Fire Chief
Little Angels? Or Crack Whores? You Decide
"I, for one, welcome our new flying, super-intelligent, robotic overlords"
posted by Stauf at 12:43 AM on December 1, 2003