Cell phone spermicide

March 17, 2004 7:56 PM

Are cell phones the next sexual revolution? The Nippit 3000 chip — although barely a micron in diameter — projects a high-intensity ultra-sonic electromagnetic "sound cone" that is inaudible to the human ear but fatal to any sperm cell within a range of six meters, or about 18 feet. Can this be real? When can I get one? (via SND)
posted by statisticalpurposes (10 comments total)

"Obviously," said Gliebman, "our dream partner would be Siemens."

--Satirist and author David Benjamin writes about technology, frequently from the Luddite point of view, from his home in Paris.
posted by chrisege at 8:00 PM on March 17, 2004

Damn. Well. Joke's on me.
posted by statisticalpurposes at 8:02 PM on March 17, 2004

The ethical and moral dilemmas of this technology are pretty far reaching don't you think? Will it be a crime in the future to kill other people's sperm just by pointing your phone at them?

What about countries with overpopulation problems? Will they use giant transmitters to rebroadcast this ultrasonic noise to control the population? Is that ok with us as a society?
posted by banished at 8:13 PM on March 17, 2004

The problem is, the people who need this invention most (if it existed in the first place) would be the least able to afford it or the least likely to use it.
posted by Ryvar at 8:26 PM on March 17, 2004

There should be a law to build one of these into every mobile home.
posted by dg at 8:46 PM on March 17, 2004

I'm concerned about what the phone hanging on my belt is doing to my sperm already...
posted by Jimbob at 9:05 PM on March 17, 2004

There should be a law to build one of these into every mobile home.

And the projects, too! What's with all those poor black folks having kids?!
posted by The God Complex at 9:55 PM on March 17, 2004

And you all laughed at me when I bought that pair of lead boxer shorts! Hah!
posted by antifreez_ at 8:50 AM on March 18, 2004

Well, antifreez_, you did get the ones with the little ducks on 'em.

Yeah, this is disturbing, but far from unexpected. Soon, they'll be able to fine-tune the frequencies to the point where certain other virii or organisms can be safely killed or removed from our bodies with either battery packs or transmitters, and then the world will be safe for us to rut like minks again.

Any time, people. My biological clock is a-tickin'.
posted by chicobangs at 8:57 AM on March 18, 2004

A "ventrilo-phone" that can "throw" the user's voice into inanimate objects, unsuspecting bystanders or passing poodles;
The above phone reminded me the back advertisements you find in comic books which pointed out its untruth.
posted by thomcatspike at 9:06 AM on March 18, 2004