Whip 'n Chain Club vs. Britney

June 22, 2004 5:44 PM

"It was a bizarre club with cages, whips and other apparatus hanging from the ceiling"Jeri Lynn Ryan, "Star Trek: Voyager" actress and former wife of Illinois Republican candidate for US Senate Jack Ryan says Ryan pressured her to have public sex in S&M oriented clubs. Compare and contrast with this example of the advantages of power, Britney Spears' mother runs over Paparazzi : "....As Britney was leaving a pet store where she had just bought two new puppies, mother Lynne...struck photographer Calum Reavley [ note : with an auto ]......Britney was so hysterical that paramedics actually tended to her first, and left Reavley on the ground writhing in pain."
posted by troutfishing (84 comments total)

Ryan--the family values candidate (Smoking Gun--divorce papers)
posted by amberglow at 5:52 PM on June 22, 2004

You know, I'd form an opinion about this but as someone who hangs out in these clubs I sort of vapor lock at the idea of Jeri Ryan being a participant in the activities :)

Of course this was an accusation made during a custody trial, a time when all sorts fo wild accusations are thrown about so I don't really have any reason to believe it happened the way she described.

It is too bad though, she looked so good in that borg corset many of us sort of hoped she had a whip fetish.
posted by soulhuntre at 5:56 PM on June 22, 2004

For perversion purposes, please detail whether it is the Ben Affleck Jack Ryan or the Harrison Ford Jack Ryan.
posted by Stan Chin at 6:00 PM on June 22, 2004

Does he position himself as a "family values candidate"? If not, what difference should this make to the voters (unless he was using taxpayer money to pay for the trips)?
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:03 PM on June 22, 2004

She said she refused when Ryan asked her to perform a sexual act while others watched. ... In a statement released Monday, Jeri Lynn Ryan made no mention of the allegations, but said she now considers Ryan a good man and loving father.

Sounds like a typical custody battle, really.
posted by dg at 6:03 PM on June 22, 2004

Stan Chin, I thought you were dead.
posted by drinkcoffee at 6:05 PM on June 22, 2004

What he hell is it with men, power, and kinky sex? They seem to go together so often..
posted by Space Coyote at 6:16 PM on June 22, 2004

ah. one of his endorsements is from Bill Bennett--just perfect
posted by amberglow at 6:18 PM on June 22, 2004

Ryan is a devout (divorced?!?) Roman Catholic who is running, in part, on his belief in God and regular church attendance. In fact, there's been some obnoxious noise from the Ryan campaign needling Obama (Ryan's opponent) about how often he attends church. So yeah, this'll hurt Ryan. I wouldn't be surprised if his campaign is basically over.
posted by mr_roboto at 6:20 PM on June 22, 2004

Ryan has been a running joke here in Illinois for months. He lost the race a long time ago, the fact that a "family values" politician is really just another flawed kinky human speaks volumes about how the GOP and conservatives are wrong on stuff like "abstinence works" and a slew of other social issues.

Jack on the issues!

believe that marriage can only be defined as that union between one man and one woman. I am opposed to same-sex marriages, civil unions, and registries.

I believe that we are all equal before God and should be before the law. Homosexuals deserve the same constitutional protections, safeguards, and human dignity as every American, but they should not be entitled to special rights based on their sexual behavior.

The breakdown of the family over the past 35 years is one of the root causes of some of our society’s most intractable social problems-criminal activity, illegitimacy, and the cyclical nature of poverty.

As an elected leader, my interest will be in promoting laws and educating people about the fundamental importance of the traditional family unit as the nucleus of our society.

Funny guy. Where's the "lets fuck in a paris club while doped out of our minds in front of these frenchmen" tradition?

Another Jeebus GOP politcian turns out to be a hypocrite because his social philosophy is not only flawed but so against basic human instincts that its unattainable and counter-productive to actual families. This guys own problems with sexuality led to his divorce it seems.

Also, "gay people shouldn't get married, but I'm gonna bang seven of nine on the floor here!" Ah, that's what I call moral clarity we need for the 21st century!
posted by skallas at 6:26 PM on June 22, 2004

> ah. one of his endorsements is from Bill Bennett--just perfect

The perfect storm!
posted by skallas at 6:27 PM on June 22, 2004

Fuck; it's not just "gay people shouldn't get married, but I'm gonna bang seven of nine on the floor here!", it's "gay marriage threatens to destroy the sacred God-given holy sanctified sacrament of marriage, but I should be free to divorce my wife because she won't fuck me in front of strangers in a Paris sex club." What an absolutely worthless human being.
posted by mr_roboto at 6:32 PM on June 22, 2004

More info at The Smoking Gun...

"(He) took me to two clubs in New York during the day. One club I refused to go in. It had mattresses in cubicles."

Oh pleeeease. How'd she know if she didn't go in? And she didn't go into one such club, but three. You'd think it would be kind of obvious what kind of clubs these were before she became traumatized by seeing nekkid people having sex. Maybe the clubs name, clientelle, or the little platters covered in condoms and lube would be a hint.

I think it's important not to criticize Jack Ryan for this. Lying perhaps, or his stupid politics, sure, but not this. Why are Ryan's lies getting any more airplay right now than the lies of Cheney and Bush? I mean, here is a couple that were married for seven years and presumably knew each other's kinks... and the worst we can say about them is that they went to a few sex clubs together?

And how can you really fault Senator Ryan? Can any of you honestly say that Jeri Ryan wouldn't be dead sexy in bondage gear??! I can still remember what she did to that original Seven of Nine outfit...

(BTW, I want to take this opportunity to say how impressed I am that NYC has sex clubs open during the day for heterosexuals, as there is nothing like that in San Francisco. Throw in a cafe, a little bakery, showers, and WiFi access and you'd never have to leave!)
posted by insomnia_lj at 6:36 PM on June 22, 2004

what difference should this make to the voters

Because he is clearly judgement-impaired, running as a Republican while knowing this shit is out there. You want that guy making decisions for you?
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:37 PM on June 22, 2004

... I'm gonna bang seven of nine on the floor here!"

Well, resistance is futile, after all.
posted by jonmc at 6:41 PM on June 22, 2004

Wonkette's take:

GOP spokesman: "We feel this race will be decided on the issues."
Of course. Those issues being missionary versus doggie style, edible undies versus flavored lube, and fur-covered handcuffs versus knowing better than to risk your entire political career over some cheap exhibitionism.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:41 PM on June 22, 2004

Ryan--the family values candidate

I don't understand why what two consenting married adults do in S&M clubs would be against family values.
posted by gyc at 6:42 PM on June 22, 2004

Um, why should what two consenting married adults do in their home be against "family values"?
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:49 PM on June 22, 2004

And yet, Ryan was all "don't let the EVIL GAYZ get married because they would turn heterosexual marriage into a SHAM".

Don't get me wrong--I think that sex clubs are fine, but it's hypocritical for people to say that monogamous gay relationships are bad if they're also frequenting sex clubs, isn't it?
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:50 PM on June 22, 2004

whether it is the Ben Affleck Jack Ryan or the Harrison Ford Jack Ryan

[comic book guy]
Umm, HELLO? Alec BALDWIN! Hunt for RED OC-TOBER!

best... Ryan... EVER!
[/cbg]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:56 PM on June 22, 2004

Enough of the words, where is the video ?
posted by a3matrix at 6:57 PM on June 22, 2004

I dislike Republican hypocracy as much as anyone, but why is Jack Ryan being condemned for as-yet unproven, legal, consentual behavior with his wife?
posted by insomnia_lj at 7:02 PM on June 22, 2004

Seven of sixty-nine?
posted by bashos_frog at 7:03 PM on June 22, 2004

What he hell is it with men, power, and kinky sex? They seem to go together so often..

Oh, please. Your premise is HIGHLY flawed. For instance: I have no worldly power whatsoever. :-)
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 7:14 PM on June 22, 2004

Sex clubs sound pretty fun to me.
posted by Keyser Soze at 7:22 PM on June 22, 2004

they are, Keyser, but only once in a while. : >
posted by amberglow at 7:24 PM on June 22, 2004

and it's a bitch for the janitors.
posted by jonmc at 7:31 PM on June 22, 2004

You'll get great tips.
posted by yerfatma at 7:36 PM on June 22, 2004

mmmm


seven of nine naked.



um...what was this about again? (and how did this asswipe get seven of nine? - money?)
posted by Stynxno at 7:55 PM on June 22, 2004

Daily Kos has more on this, and that it may hurt other Repubs in the state.
posted by amberglow at 8:00 PM on June 22, 2004

It’s a life shaped by family values"
posted by amberglow at 8:08 PM on June 22, 2004

Vive la France! Please see this link to some of Paris's finest clubs.
posted by lometogo at 8:29 PM on June 22, 2004

Oh shit, I can't get the link to work. Anyway, here it is:
http://utenti.lycos.it/capdagde/links.htm
posted by lometogo at 8:30 PM on June 22, 2004

here's one: --L'overside--NSFW, obviously
posted by amberglow at 8:38 PM on June 22, 2004

I'm pretty much 100% with insomnia_lj here. I despise hypocritical republican family-values schmucks as much as the next guy, but this just seems like a bit of overblown Entertainment Tonight junk. Not seeing the issue.
posted by majcher at 8:41 PM on June 22, 2004

The issue is the hypocrisy of Republicans, and the obviously bad vetting process this guy went through, and his omissions, no? Neither party would have let him run for the Senate with this under his belt. But at least three GOP leaders are fuming over the disclosures, saying they do not square with what Ryan told them to expect.
State Republican chairman Judy Baar Topinka believes Ryan lied to her by suggesting the papers contained nothing embarrassing, a source close to Topinka said.
Former Gov. Jim Edgar was stunned to hear about Jeri Ryan's allegations after Jack Ryan called Edgar over the weekend to describe the files, but made no mention of the sex clubs. Based on that characterization, Edgar told reporters earlier in the day the files would not likely sink Ryan's campaign.
"Edgar kind of feels like he took this guy at his word and is kind of stunned it could be different from what he was told," the source said.
And Downstate U.S. Rep. Ray LaHood (R-Ill.) called on Ryan to step down. "I think there's no way the people in Illinois will countenance the type of information and activity he was involved with."
Ryan called the uproar over allegations that he urged his then-wife to have sex in front of others "a new low for politics" during a Tuesday morning appearance on Chicago's WLS-AM. "It seems to me it's just a new standard, and I don't think it's healthy for our democracy."
Ryan said he was fit for high public office, noting that the court documents reveal no violations of earthly or higher laws.
"I think my character has been proven by this," Ryan said in an interview on WBEZ-FM. "There's no breaking of any laws. There's no breaking of any marriage laws. There's no breaking of the Ten Commandments anywhere. And so I think if that's the worst people can say about me in the heat of a difficult dispute I think it speaks very well about my character."
posted by amberglow at 8:50 PM on June 22, 2004

"I think my character has been proven by this," Ryan said in an interview on WBEZ-FM. "There's no breaking of any laws. There's no breaking of any marriage laws. There's no breaking of the Ten Commandments anywhere. And so I think if that's the worst people can say about me in the heat of a difficult dispute I think it speaks very well about my character."

So I guess going to sex clubs is ok since there's no mention of it in the Bible?

Of course his last name, Ryan, already has a pretty bad reputation in Illinois politics, and a lot of people will confuse him with George Ryan, like Jim Ryan was in the last Gubernatorial election.
posted by gyc at 8:57 PM on June 22, 2004

Frankly, I'd steer a wide swath around both of them - and not for the kinky sex, either ( they're a scary pair, at least in public photos) : I'd bet she's at least a little complicit and busting him on it now for tactical reasons....

...but, Jeri isn't running for the US Senate on a "family values" ticket.
posted by troutfishing at 9:06 PM on June 22, 2004

this is what matters. vote.
posted by mapalm at 9:41 PM on June 22, 2004

WTF? Where are all the Britney Spears photos?

Could you people please try to stay on topic???
posted by soyjoy at 9:45 PM on June 22, 2004

love the L'Overside link, amberglow!

From 1.00, gogo dancers and strip-teaser girls will come and dance furiously in the disco place and will mingle with the crowd on the last fashionable rythms.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 10:05 PM on June 22, 2004

MetaFilter: dance furiously in the disco place
posted by bashos_frog at 10:15 PM on June 22, 2004

Umm, HELLO? Alec BALDWIN! Hunt for RED OC-TOBER!

You and your Harrison Ford non-worshippers make me sick to the stomach.
posted by Krrrlson at 10:28 PM on June 22, 2004

As far as I'm concerned, two mediocrities like the Ryans pretty much cancel each other out.

Sooner or later, the Dems are going to have to focus on winning elections on issues instead of oppo.
posted by RavinDave at 10:36 PM on June 22, 2004

One day in the Aeon Flux future sex will not be so bad.
posted by the fire you left me at 10:57 PM on June 22, 2004

it's hypocritical for people to say that monogamous gay relationships are bad if they're also frequenting sex clubs, isn't it?
What do the two have to do with one another?
posted by dg at 11:12 PM on June 22, 2004

I'd bet she's at least a little complicit and busting him on it now for tactical reasons

ISTR that both of them were fighting the release of the information, since it would be embarrassing to the kid they were fighting over. Wouldn't wanna be that kid in middle school. Hey, dude? I saw your mom last night naked? On my computer? And someone was boning her? Was that totally your dad?

You and your Harrison Ford non-worshippers make me sick to the stomach

Baldwin does a creditable imitation of Sean Connery in the flick. Ergo, [cbg] BEST! RYAN! EVVVV-ERRRRRR!

Ah, Jeri... the restraining order says "No," but your eyes say "Yes, yes."
[/cbg]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:29 PM on June 22, 2004

RavinDave: Dems are going to have to focus on winning elections on issues

Please enlighten me how, say, Obama isn't "focused on the issues."
posted by skallas at 11:31 PM on June 22, 2004

But that's the special charm of oppo, isn't it. (And does anyone here doubt that this isn't a timely opposition research tactic?) The beneficiary candidate often stands aloof and unsullied as his underlings dish the dirt and fan the flames.

I see no serious issue here and am not inclined to give such tactics (from either side) any credence.
posted by RavinDave at 11:47 PM on June 22, 2004

RavinDave: Even if it is oppo, Ryan deserves it like no other candidate. THis is the guy who hired somebody to follow Obama around with a vidcam, 24/7, to the point of waiting for him outside restrooms, and his home. This guy was even shadowing him close enough to overhear his phone calls.

I only wish Obama had hired someone to tail Ryan with a camera only to find him visiting the Hellfire club. That video would have been priceless.
posted by bashos_frog at 11:58 PM on June 22, 2004

Illinois has learned it's lesson from watching Gov. Thompson get re-elected three times running on good government management, and then declare a state fiscal emergency every time he was sworn in.

Illinois is the third most productive state in the union, and gets back 74% of it's federal tax contributions. The Senate seat that Ryan is running for was held by Peter Fitzgerald, a Republican who paid cash for his own campaign, and is so disgusted with his own party and how things are done he is fleeing after one term, an act that might allow him to compete with Obama if he did choose to run, because Illinois voters have decided they would rather have sensible people than party heads.

Don't be surprised if Illinois produces nationally influential candidates, one after the other, in the next few years.

And, no, that idiot Hastert doesn't count. This is the Land of Lincoln and Douglas, we've apparently decided to have higher standards than that.
posted by dglynn at 12:15 AM on June 23, 2004

bashos_frog ... Okay, fair enough. Never let it be said that I'm opposed to karma.
posted by RavinDave at 12:53 AM on June 23, 2004

You know, I can't see what good following someone around 24/7 with a camera would do. I mean, other then make voders discusted with you.

I mean really, who's going to do something stupid with a camera in their face all day, every day?
posted by delmoi at 2:12 AM on June 23, 2004

From amberglow's link, which really is great enough to be on the front page:

"To wear a sexy dressing is strongly appreciable in our club."

Back on topic:

does anyone here doubt that this isn't a timely opposition research tactic?

This has been rumored for months and months and was shopped around by Ryan's GOP primary opponents. It only made it to the papers now because a judge unsealed the papers after a long court fight. So yes, it's technically oppo, but it's internal party oppo and as to timely, it's actually too late for those who were pushing it. I'm not going to pretend I think the Obama people aren't psyched, but don't imply this is a nefariously timed document drop by them.
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:28 AM on June 23, 2004

God, I can't get enough of this sex club site:

"The choice of lounges wich our club owns, let each one realize his phantasms."
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:30 AM on June 23, 2004

thank lometogo--it's a link from the page he linked to..maybe we need a swingers en tout le monde post?
posted by amberglow at 4:39 AM on June 23, 2004

(NSFW) THIS is a little more than "avant-garde," no?

"The Greek lounge with its lateral seats and its central hexagonal bed is opened to all phantasms."
posted by bafflegab at 6:04 AM on June 23, 2004

Boy, with his love of S&M and his talent for lying, Ryan's a natural for ambassador to Iraq.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:11 AM on June 23, 2004

As a public service, I propose a MeFi investigative team to...err...penetrate these sex clubs and expose their inner workings. Who's with me?
posted by ChrisTN at 6:12 AM on June 23, 2004

In your phantasms, Chris.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:06 AM on June 23, 2004

"To wear a sexy dressing is strongly appreciable in our club." - I once asked a girlfriend ( now an ex-girlfriend, but not for that ) to wear a sexy dressing :

A Garlic-Tahini sauce, with Lemon and Cilantro - very delicious.

I don't think the dressing appreciated very much at all though.

I didn't stick it in the bank, I just ate it up.
posted by troutfishing at 7:22 AM on June 23, 2004

this is very funny -- just the other night I watched the "Lady Heather" CSI episode where Grissom falls in love with a beautiful dominatrix who could or could not have committed a few murders

re the GOP's vetting process -- nobody's perfect. even their well-oiled political machine has major flaws, after all. pessimistic Democrats should remember that -- their opponents are very good, but they sometimes get really sloppy. and sloppiness, in bare-knuckled electoral politics, often means defeat: Senator Obama, indeed

anyway thanks for ther link, trout

ps I second the Baldwin contigent -- he is Jack Ryan for me, Ford and (bwahahahahaha) Affleck just usurped his throne
posted by matteo at 7:22 AM on June 23, 2004

trout -- please don't marinate your girlfriends, it just isn't done
posted by matteo at 7:23 AM on June 23, 2004

Wow I guess she really was Seven of Nine.....

(wait for it)

THAT NIGHT!



hahahahahahahahaha!
(Somebody shoot me)
posted by lumpenprole at 7:31 AM on June 23, 2004

That's right, marinating is out, just slap a little barbecue sauce on just before eating.
posted by tommasz at 7:36 AM on June 23, 2004

I once asked a girlfriend ( now an ex-girlfriend, but not for that ) to wear a sexy dressing :

A Garlic-Tahini sauce, with Lemon and Cilantro - very delicious.

Just as long as it wasn't bleu cheese....
posted by jonmc at 7:43 AM on June 23, 2004

While Ryan's sexual interests may be of some interest to the more prudish of the Republican party, I don't think it matters that much to most voters. At least I hope it doesn't.

What *should* matter, however, is his insistence that the records remain sealed in an effort to protect his son. He knew that running for office would bring about tremendous scrutiny of his divorce proceedings. By playing the "protect my children" card, he hoped to dodge that scrutiny.

He hid behind his son, a child who suffers from a developmental disability, in an effort to foster political gain. That's truly disgusting.
posted by aladfar at 7:44 AM on June 23, 2004

Baldwin does a creditable imitation of Sean Connery in the flick...

RYAN: [in slurred Scottish brogue] 'Be careful -- some things back there don't react well to bullets.' [exasperated] I don't react well to bullets!

... somehow, I just don't see Harrison Ford pulling that one off.
posted by lodurr at 7:58 AM on June 23, 2004

Excerpts of letters to the editor of a local paper:


He never forced her and it's probably made up anyway. Hell, that's how you keep marriages exciting, offering options. Apparently, it was not exciting enough for her.
Jack, you are doing the right thing, if you lied, I would hate you. But I don't think you did.
You have my support, and my vote. Thanks for being straight.
Maureen Spurr
Chicago
====


Those claiming to be so pious and Godly are involved in judging a man for a non-criminal act. This in itself speaks volumes.
Even if Ryan was God Almighty, by running on the Republican ticket he would lose to the Devil.
Charles Payne
Metropolis

==

I will sit this one out. I will not vote for Jack Ryan.
Sorry, we are going to lose the Republican senate seat.
Linda Tomcsanyi
Greenfield

==

Letting allegations stand as fact is just another sign how low the press is sinking.
I think he is getting a royal screwing.
Pete Speer
Indian Creek


(I thought the point was he didn't.)
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:00 AM on June 23, 2004

He hid behind his son, a child who suffers from a developmental disability, in an effort to foster political gain. That's truly disgusting.

Exactly. As usual, its the cover-up, not the deed.
posted by goethean at 8:06 AM on June 23, 2004

From amberglow's link: 58 € for a couple, with a drink per head

Well, if that's the case... keep them drinks comin'!

oh, I am sooo ashamed of that one...
posted by GhostintheMachine at 8:35 AM on June 23, 2004

This yahoo news slide show mixes picture of Jack Ryan, the swinging politician, with Jack Ryan, the Tom Clancy character.

Life imitates Stan Chin.
posted by Mid at 9:00 AM on June 23, 2004

RavinDave: Actually, it's the Republicans in the state who are all up in arms about this. It was the Chicago Tribune (I think) that pushed for the unsealing of the records. Obama's response was basically "It's his personal business, not for me to comment on." If he is privately jumping up and down about the news, he's certainly not doing it in public.
posted by SisterHavana at 9:43 AM on June 23, 2004

well, since we're muckraking:

The Texas Abortion Tango
The unproven scandal that could have sunk George W. Bush
posted by matteo at 10:04 AM on June 23, 2004

It was the Chicago Tribune (I think)

It was the local ABC (Disney!) affiliate that filed a class action suit in California on behalf of Illinois voters. Which isn't to say that the Trib wasn't involved, only that it wasn't the driving force in this case.
posted by aladfar at 10:43 AM on June 23, 2004

Every story I have seen says both the Trib and WLS-TV filed the suit. Also, I don't think it was a class action -- just an ordinary media suit to unseal records.

See this story for more.
posted by Mid at 11:14 AM on June 23, 2004

"The judge said making the records public could harm the Ryans' son and embarrass the candidate. But he said the public deserved to know the contents."

Horse puckey. As a voter, I have no interest at all in allegations made during an ugly divorce proceeeding. I don't give a damn about it. And given that it's all "he said, she said" and it's their own personal business regardless of who's lying, I really think the judge should have left things sealed. The public deserves a campaign about actual issues, they don't deserve to go nosing through personal matters -- even if it will sell a few more newspapers.
posted by nickmark at 11:53 AM on June 23, 2004

Ah yes, the party of "family values." Wonderful. So ethically consistent.

Almost as entertaining as an American president and his supporters trying to justify the invasion of another sovereign nation because "Saddam's prisons are used as torture chambers."
posted by fold_and_mutilate at 12:04 PM on June 23, 2004

fold_and_mutilate :

Gene Callahan, at Lew Rockwell.com, says he's having a little "moral equivalence" problem with his wife :

"Other times, she'll bring up the extramarital affairs. OK, I admit, I've had a couple of dozen of them. However, contrast the anger she directs at me for my paltry number of escapades with her complete silence on the subject of Wilt Chamberlain, who boasted – boasted, mind you! – of having had sex with over 20,000 women.

And what about the other day, when she called me a monster for the severe beatings I sometimes give our kids in the evening, just to relieve the stress of a hard day of composing LewRockwell.com columns? It's all well and good that's she's in a huff about my behavior, but think about John Wayne Gacy for just a minute. He didn't merely beat children, he raped and killed them, and they weren't even his own kids! So, did my wife confront him in his kitchen and call him a monster? You can guess the answer."
posted by troutfishing at 1:09 PM on June 23, 2004

patriotboy hits one out of the park again on this: Ryan is a very bright guy. He saw the lavender menace infiltrating the centers of power in our country. He knew that the day was coming soon when there would be a great political battle fought between the forces of heterosexuality and homosexuality.
Ryan wanted to fight in that battle as a Senator. Given the direction society was heading, he worked quickly to establish his heterosexual bona fides. That's why he pressured his wife to have sex with him in front of an audience.
I wish other Senate candidates should do the same. That way, we could ensure that we're not electing Senators with dual loyalties as we consider the Homosexual Discrimination Constitutional Amendment.
As the Chair of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, you can make this happen by funding 30 second spots featuring Republican Senatorial candidates having sex with women. Now, thirty seconds may seem like a long time to be having sex, but you could put two Senators in each spot and then use the remaining time to discuss budget policy.
posted by amberglow at 4:03 PM on June 23, 2004

Now, there's a real patriot.

Go, PatriotBoy.
posted by troutfishing at 7:40 PM on June 23, 2004

Ryan is "reassessing his bid" now
posted by amberglow at 8:57 PM on June 24, 2004

BEST! RYAN! EVVVV-ERRRRRR!

With Harrison Ford at the post-Green Berets John Wayne stage of his sensitive he man career and Ben Affleck, well ...'nuff said. Jeri Ryan gettin' medieval on Alec Baldwin's ass is hands down for cross-over appeal here or anywhere.
posted by y2karl at 10:14 AM on June 25, 2004

According to CQ, Ryan is dropping out, to be announced today.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:37 AM on June 25, 2004