.

November 5, 2004 11:43 AM

We're so unbelievably sorry, everyone...
Seriously. We're not even kidding.
posted by Parannoyed (84 comments total)

I *heart* the internets.
posted by shoepal at 11:57 AM on November 5, 2004

really, really pathetic...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:08 PM on November 5, 2004

Is it possible to impeach someone for being a jackass?

just curious...
posted by Parannoyed at 12:09 PM on November 5, 2004

*buys stock in pacifier companies*
posted by konolia at 12:10 PM on November 5, 2004

That is fucking funny.
posted by adampsyche at 12:10 PM on November 5, 2004

Awww... democrats.
posted by Krrrlson at 12:16 PM on November 5, 2004

woah, somebody from my city beat me to it.

I'm proud to be represented by a snarling girl with orange hair.
posted by krazykity16 at 12:26 PM on November 5, 2004

If the "VERY goddamn sorry" girl fifth from the top wants to escape up here to Canada, I hereby offer her "asylum". There's only ONE catch...
posted by Electric Jesus at 12:42 PM on November 5, 2004

[This is fun]
posted by ginz at 12:42 PM on November 5, 2004

Is it possible to impeach someone for being a jackass?

Only if the opposing party controls Congress. See: Clinton.
posted by wah at 12:59 PM on November 5, 2004

Someone should buy wearenotsorry.com
posted by gyc at 1:11 PM on November 5, 2004

I guess someone already did.
posted by gyc at 1:12 PM on November 5, 2004

OK, you're getting pretty good at apologizing, perhaps this United States of Canada thing could work out.

*buys stock in pacifier companies*

*Buys stock in coffins and American flags.*
posted by Space Coyote at 1:18 PM on November 5, 2004

it is definitely a lot of gloating, for a 51% win
but it is better than 5-4, I guess

*snicker*
posted by matteo at 1:24 PM on November 5, 2004

[this is good.]
posted by rafter at 1:27 PM on November 5, 2004

I love democrats.
posted by Hildegarde at 1:31 PM on November 5, 2004

Quick, someone get Ruben Studdard on the phone -- we just found some more relevancy for "Sorry 2004..."
posted by teradome at 1:36 PM on November 5, 2004

*buys stock in Bibles and coat hangers*
posted by homunculus at 1:48 PM on November 5, 2004

OK, you're getting pretty good at apologizing, perhaps this United States of Canada thing could work out.

Of course they haven't passed the most stringent test of Canadianness yet: saying "Sorry" when someone steps on your foot.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 1:59 PM on November 5, 2004

FUCK OFF. ALL OF YOU.
posted by ParisParamus at 2:00 PM on November 5, 2004

Oh dear. You especially don't qualify, PP.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 2:03 PM on November 5, 2004

If only you knew who polite and civilized I am--when not confronted by a bunch of dangerously immature pseudo-intellectuals.
posted by ParisParamus at 2:16 PM on November 5, 2004

FUCK OFF. ALL OF YOU.

Wow PP... you're sounding more and more like your beloved George W. every day. Punch a homo in the face and you'll be practically as God-like as he is!
posted by BobFrapples at 2:16 PM on November 5, 2004

you're sounding more and more like your beloved George W. every day.

More like Cheney.
posted by homunculus at 2:22 PM on November 5, 2004

Let me get this straight: I'm supposed to believe that people under the age of, what, 25 (?), are wiser than older people, and deserve respect when it comes to deciding the great issues of the day? It would be nice if someone in college or grad school had the clarity to see how wet behind the ears they are, intellectually.
posted by ParisParamus at 2:41 PM on November 5, 2004

*buys stock*
posted by ginz at 2:42 PM on November 5, 2004

More like Cheney.

xox Oh man! xox
posted by thirteen at 2:42 PM on November 5, 2004

The sorryeverybody.com people are a helluva lot better at basic web page construction than the wearenotsorry.com people.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 2:50 PM on November 5, 2004

Let me get this straight: I'm supposed to believe that people under the age of, what, 25 (?), are wiser than older people, and deserve respect when it comes to deciding the great issues of the day? It would be nice if someone in college or grad school had the clarity to see how wet behind the ears they are, intellectually.

No, you're supposed to judge ideas on their merits, rather than by their sources. I don't see what kind of judgment you're showing by posting "FUCK OFF. ALL OF YOU." Why do you even bother typing that in? What are you trying to prove? Why do you deserve any respect? You're really taking the worst possible approach if you want to convince others of your beliefs. If you're just trying to be a dick, on the other hand, carry on.

If only you knew who polite and civilized I am--when not confronted by a bunch of dangerously immature pseudo-intellectuals.

Politeness and civilization are demonstrated by how you respond to those who are impolite and uncivilized. It's easy to be polite to other polite people. If a bunch of college students can provoke you to impoliteness by putting up a web page, it is safe to say that you are neither polite nor civilized.
posted by me & my monkey at 3:18 PM on November 5, 2004

it is definitely a lot of gloating, for a 51% win
Unfortunately, looking back on thepast 3 elections that is a high %.
posted by thomcatspike at 3:27 PM on November 5, 2004

Speaking of politeness, it is simply mystifying to the anti-Bush citizens of the world that any Americans -- no less a majority of us -- could believe, based on any and all criteria, that this planet is safer and better off with Bush in office. And to that extent I think these apologies, from those of us who agree, are in order.

(However, I would avoid the sort of message posted by the woman who pleaded "Sorry! Don't blow up Travis County in Texas Pleaaaaaaaaase!" This sounds like an apology to the terrorists. Democrats, liberals, progressives, leftists, Independents, moderate Republicans, and other groups into which those of us who voted against Bush fall, do NOT apologize to terrorists.)

And I think those pandas, although cute, could have at least bothered to pick up a few provisional ballots.
posted by jellybuzz at 3:27 PM on November 5, 2004

could have at least bothered to pick up a few provisional ballots.

Yeah, but their presinct only had like 3 on hand.
posted by Space Coyote at 3:30 PM on November 5, 2004

I've found this to be a curious element of this debacle; just how sensitive Americans are to the world's opinion of them, especially Europe. Curious, because a large majority of the EU thinks we're a bunch of rabid knuckle-dragging hee-haw cowboy racists anyway, no matter who's in office. Also it's just fodder for the Neo-cons to further gloat like um....I guess a bunch of rabid knuckle-dragging hee-haw cowboy racists.

Oh wait. I think I've answered my own question.

Well.

Carry on then.

Go go Metafilter!! Woohoo!
posted by Skygazer at 3:36 PM on November 5, 2004

Yeah, but their presinct only had like 3 on hand.

plus they received a very official-looking flyer about a week before the election that, due to a glitch, polar bears were to vote on november 2, pandas on november 3.

(yes, i realize pandas are not bears)
posted by lord_wolf at 3:39 PM on November 5, 2004

i realize pandas are not bears

Total tangent: is this really the case? I've heard it both ways now, and don't know who to believe.

I mean, here's bearbiology.com, which seems authoritative, listing pandas among other bear species.

Oh; nevermind, I just managed to google a reasonable answer. For those interested, here it is:

There is some taxonomic debate on placing the giant panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) . Some place it in its own family, Ailuridae, in which the red panda (Ailurus fulgens) is sometimes placed in this family with it. However, morphologically, giant pandas are bears in every respect, and it is the general consensus of the taxonomic community that they are, in fact, members of the family Ursidae. Pandas not only share their physical characteristics, but also share the unusual ursine reproduction, where the offspring are born prematurely.

It's Friday afternoon, and I'm bored at work...
posted by mr_roboto at 4:19 PM on November 5, 2004

You forgot Koala!
posted by Feisty at 4:44 PM on November 5, 2004

domo arigato, mr_roboto.

ya learn something new every day here on the big blue. ;-)
posted by lord_wolf at 5:28 PM on November 5, 2004

Do you know how to cure a chicken-killin' dog?
posted by homunculus at 5:33 PM on November 5, 2004

Answer re respect, etc: here are a bunch of arrogant, self-important people. They are so self-important that they find it appropriate and necessary to post their images with these photos apologizing to the "World." The same world that's in the habit of, whenever expedient, shitting on the US. Basically, these people don't have the decency and maturity to accept that their guy lost. Basically, they are acting as if the are oppressed by US culture and government. HOW FUCKING STUPID OF THEM. SHUT UP AND WAKE UP AND GET SOME PERSPECTIVE.
posted by ParisParamus at 6:26 PM on November 5, 2004

Stop shouting, Paris. You're setting off Cheney's defibrillator.
posted by amberglow at 6:28 PM on November 5, 2004

for some reason i always picture pp as looking like roscoe p coltrane from dukes of hazzard.

gu-gu-guhhhh! i'll get them duke boys! flash, quit eating boss hogg's freedom fries!
posted by bargle at 6:49 PM on November 5, 2004

You'd think he'd be happy.
posted by homunculus at 6:54 PM on November 5, 2004

So what happened to that site?
posted by gyc at 7:26 PM on November 5, 2004

This is the new America now, obviously this sort of behavior is no longer tolerated.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:47 PM on November 5, 2004

PP - would that be the kind of perspective that allows youthful indiscretion? The kind of perspective that realises that wisdom is not something given at birth but earned through experience?

You really are not very good at this whole "Argument" thing are you? Perhaps you would be better off in room 6B down the hall, the door marked "Abuse".

Please don't ever stop being you as I get very little entertainment at work but having you, the "Stalwart Challenger Of The Evil Left " to read each day perks me right up; like espresso for the soul.
posted by longbaugh at 3:08 AM on November 6, 2004

They seem to have lost their domain, but you can try:
http://www-scf.usc.edu/~zetlen/sorryeverybody/
posted by bashos_frog at 3:34 AM on November 6, 2004

I love how PP is babbling about how liberals are "psuedo-intellectuals" when he's spent the last three days sounding like they gave Special Ed from Crank Yankers a MetaFilter account.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:12 AM on November 6, 2004

Money talks, bullshit walks.

In 2005, millions of foreigners will move here to live under George Bush and the Republican Congress, and essentially zero Americans will move out to live in supposedly more enlightened precincts. That's all anyone needs to know about the supposed superiority of foreign governments.
posted by MattD at 7:05 AM on November 6, 2004

The millions that will be moving the the US to live under George Bush - are there any statistics about these people?

I'm not calling you out or anything MattD. My point being - what is it worth if 20,000 people are coming to the country to clean your houses or work at Mcdonalds when 200 scientists, doctors etc are leaving to pursue careers elsewhere?*


*this is not necessarily true, merely an illustration of a possibility.
posted by longbaugh at 7:49 AM on November 6, 2004

it's back up, but with glitches, cause they are getting a lot of traffic.

http://sorryeverybody.com
posted by jann at 7:58 AM on November 6, 2004

Keep thinking the way you do, and you will NEVER AGAIN elect a left of Center-Right president. You have to decide whether nominating a VERY LEFT OF CENTER candidate is worth winding up a loser every time.
posted by ParisParamus at 8:06 AM on November 6, 2004

Who are you talking to PP? What's with the CAPS LOCK?

Did you spill some coffee from your special "I <3 GWB!" mug and damage the keyboard in your frenzied excitement?
posted by longbaugh at 8:44 AM on November 6, 2004

try again, longbaugh.
posted by ParisParamus at 9:10 AM on November 6, 2004

An infinite number of monkeys?

Let me know when I am getting warm.
posted by longbaugh at 9:22 AM on November 6, 2004

Addendum -

Please don't let anyone assume the above viz. monkeys and "getting warm" has anything to do with monkey-bum-sex and AIDS.
posted by longbaugh at 9:24 AM on November 6, 2004

Actually, PP, you should be more scared. A Kerry victory, given the passing of hate-resolutions and election of more republican representatives. The Democrats are in the position of the Republicans were when Goldwater got his ass handed to him. They are now able to forget about governing for a little while, leave the republicans to screw up completely, and rebuild from within. Did the republicans regain power by becoming more moderate? Why do you then think it is necessary for Democrats to do so? No, what will arise is a much stronger, much more ruthless left, and will make you with for a DLC-era democratic party, if indeed your right-wing ism is more than simple knee-jerk contrarianism, which I'm unsure it is.
posted by Space Coyote at 11:31 AM on November 6, 2004

Space Coyote. Where to respond? You are just so deluded. I am Left-Center, or Center-Center. But I am not a freak who thinks people who pray are stupid, or that President George W Bush lied, or that Michael Moore is something other than a fat, ambitious deluded anti-semite. Something like 98% of all the counties voted for the President, and most of the people who did are not much more Right than I am.

The lies in this campaign, about the draft, about the munitions, about social security, about Tora Bora, and WMDs all came from the Left. And you don't have to be Mr. Right to realize that those lies were reasons enough to vote to re-elect the President.

Go further left? That would be unfortunate. That will just give rise to a third, moderate party.

Keep living in your little Leftist bubble.
posted by ParisParamus at 3:03 PM on November 6, 2004

Go further Left? you mean like those anarchist freaks in San Francisco?
posted by ParisParamus at 3:07 PM on November 6, 2004

Go further Left? Like vote for gay marriage? No thanks.

I think I'm going to go out and buy one share in Haliburton--what a great, noble company.
posted by ParisParamus at 3:11 PM on November 6, 2004

In fact, ten shares--if I can afford it.
posted by ParisParamus at 3:12 PM on November 6, 2004

Yes, further left, to be unafraid of their principles. The republicans were unafraid of expressing outright bigotry and that was interpreted as 'resolve' and 'values'. Two can play that game, and trying to appeal to reasonable people in the centre has failed, might as well try something else, just as the conservative revolution did.

PS. washingtonpost.com: US Concludes Bin Laden Escaped at Tora Bora.

The reality based community is a nice place, you can either come check it out or face a mirror of the republican revolution on the left.
posted by Space Coyote at 3:28 PM on November 6, 2004

I'm wasting my time here. You are ignorant and unprincipled (unless the principle benefits you immediately and directly).
posted by ParisParamus at 3:36 PM on November 6, 2004

A makes wild assertion (toro bora was a 'lie')
B posts article refuting A's assertion
A calls B 'ignorant and unprincipled'.

B wins.
posted by Space Coyote at 4:21 PM on November 6, 2004

Not when the Washington Post is the source of the article. By the way, the lie isn't that Osama wasn't caught then; it's that it really matters, or that Kerry didn't support the tactics being used.

No one knows where Osama is/was at any given time. Only irrational Bush haters really care. Terrorism will go on without him.

Then again, maybe he's dead--like Yasser probably is.
posted by ParisParamus at 5:05 PM on November 6, 2004

Caring about not getting Osama at T-B is, possibly on the list of the Top Ten Stupid Points That Lose Kerry The Election. Why do you insist on going there? Is that all you have, perpetuation of lies that lost the election for you? To paraphrase the Bee Gees, HOW DEEP IS YOUR DENIAL?
posted by ParisParamus at 5:16 PM on November 6, 2004

Tell us about the war of civilizations again, Paris.
posted by Space Coyote at 5:43 PM on November 6, 2004

Actually, it's more like the war between the Arroganti and everyone else. Guess which team you're on, and which team is winning?
posted by ParisParamus at 6:55 PM on November 6, 2004

I don't want to guess. Explain further.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:59 PM on November 6, 2004

*pours a glass of Arroganti, waits*
posted by trondant at 8:34 PM on November 6, 2004

arroganti

I like that. Maybe it will become one of the rubrics on my future blog?
posted by ParisParamus at 11:22 PM on November 6, 2004

Future blog? Hell, just write some more right now, right here. Explain your worldview. Make your case. Do it.
posted by Space Coyote at 9:04 AM on November 7, 2004

Not sure about that, but here's a thought:

It suddenly dawned on me why the Left can neither get two of President Bush's core elements of support. If the Left can't get the importance of going on the attack against the culture of terrorism, the web of thought-ties (as well as infrastructural ties) that connect Hussein, and Osama, and the Mullahs, and Assad, how could it possibly get the offensiveness of the attacks by Hollywood and the MSM on own culture?
posted by ParisParamus at 9:11 AM on November 7, 2004

ginz, buying stock is likely to be a mistaken reaction to the prospect of a third Bush term. The stock market historically underperforms under Republican administrations compared to Democratic administrations.

A study of presidential politics and market performance by the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco found that for the period 1871-1997, the average annual returns for Republican and Democratic administrations were 10.5 and 11.7 percent, respectively. More recently, since World War II, the average annual return under Republicans has been 13.1 percent and for Democrats, 15.3 percent.

Republicans: A drag on America's economy for 133 years and counting.
posted by NortonDC at 9:47 AM on November 7, 2004

Dear America

That's OK. Us here in the rest of the world will continue doing whatever it is that we do (which could be anything really, the world being a big place), mostly totally unaffected by your choice of government.

Many thanks

The rest of the world
posted by Summer at 4:35 AM on November 9, 2004

Dear Rest of World:

Yasser has been dead for a week. Why did you fall in love with a mass-murderer? And a guy from Mass?
posted by ParisParamus at 4:39 AM on November 9, 2004

(A liar from Massachussets)
posted by ParisParamus at 4:40 AM on November 9, 2004

Yasser has been dead for a week. Why did you fall in love with a mass-murderer?

I'm sorry, are you talking to ALL of us? You really think the Rest of The World is one country with one voice? Paris, you're not that stupid. Merely that delusional.
posted by Summer at 4:45 AM on November 9, 2004

No, I don't but since the premise of the thread is "we're" sorry, I'm going along.

Zell Miller is on Imus right now. What a great man.
posted by ParisParamus at 4:48 AM on November 9, 2004

I am so bookmarking your blog when it comes to fruition PP. It will truly be the greatest site in all of history.

all my love,

longbaugh
posted by longbaugh at 5:27 AM on November 9, 2004

If you want my blog to take flight, have all litigation attorneys you know in New York State contact me--I need to get my business going first.
posted by ParisParamus at 6:01 AM on November 9, 2004

You could get your name out there by doing some pro-bono work for RNC protestors who got slung in jail for no reason.

That'd be a start.

;-)
posted by longbaugh at 6:51 AM on November 9, 2004

And the world answers--Apologies Accepted
posted by amberglow at 7:40 PM on November 12, 2004

Actually, got $500 for "almost attending the arraignment of a poor slob who was caught up in the anarchy (paid for by his company)! Mu ha ha ha ha.

Apologies not accepted. Why don't YOU apologize to Theo Van Gogh?
posted by ParisParamus at 4:39 AM on November 13, 2004

Because I didn't kill him...?
posted by NortonDC at 3:25 PM on November 14, 2004