Remote Control Shark.

January 17, 2005 12:03 PM

Remote control shark.No mention of attaching lasers. Yet.
posted by mecran01 (12 comments total)

No mention of the technology actually working yet either.
posted by srboisvert at 12:16 PM on January 17, 2005

"I have taken nature's perfect killing machine, and needlessly turned it into a robot." --Dr. Quinn

TINFINS!
posted by stifford at 12:20 PM on January 17, 2005

I like that this dream was only considered feasible once we found a shark with a big enough nose. There aren't many mad scientist plots that require sharks with big noses.
posted by painquale at 12:32 PM on January 17, 2005

I suppose that protects most tiny-nosed people from being turned into robot zombies as well. Although I hear that Walmart will have the same effect. Does for me, anyway.
posted by mecran01 at 12:45 PM on January 17, 2005

Russell Franklin: Just what the hell did you do to those sharks?

Dr. Susan McCallister: Their brains weren't large enough to harvest sufficient amounts of the protein complex. So we violated the Harvard Compact. Gemini used gene therapies to increase their brain mass. A larger brain means more protein. As a side effect the sharks got smarter.

Janice Higgins: You stupid bitch!
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:25 PM on January 17, 2005

Meanwhile, innocent mefites are abducted by evil scientists hoping to perfect the remote control snark.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:36 PM on January 17, 2005

Screw the lasers...hang a bomb on that sucker, just like in Day of the Dolphin.
posted by alumshubby at 1:48 PM on January 17, 2005

PETA would have kittens.

Seriously, the "carrot and stick" approach to remote neural control seems a bit creepy. Combine irritating stimulus with a euphoric reward and poof! Stimulus-driven current junkie with a penchant to please. Yep, this won't be misused...

So, where's my droud?
posted by FormlessOne at 3:54 PM on January 17, 2005

Won't the wirehead shark get really pissed when it's turned off?
posted by sourwookie at 4:43 PM on January 17, 2005

Seriously, the "carrot and stick" approach to remote neural control seems a bit creepy. Combine irritating stimulus with a euphoric reward and poof! Stimulus-driven current junkie with a penchant to please. Yep, this won't be misused...

That's why we have advertising.
posted by mecran01 at 5:35 PM on January 17, 2005

If I go to walmart and there are large, remote controlled sharks cruising the aisles for bargains I'm going to be pissed.

(sorry--I can't stop)
posted by mecran01 at 5:46 PM on January 17, 2005

More true than I'd like to admit, mecran01.
posted by FormlessOne at 8:10 PM on January 17, 2005