You're an Ashcroft! No, you're the Ashcroft!

February 24, 2005 11:08 AM

You're an Ashcroft! No, you're the Ashcroft! Some airline passengers watching the Oscar-nominated film "Sideways" on foreign flights are, in fact, hearing Ashcroft as a substitute for a certain seven-letter epithet commonly used to denote a human orifice.
posted by grateful (31 comments total)

I am NOT drinking any Ashcroft Merlot!
posted by Arch Stanton at 11:15 AM on February 24, 2005

They show movies with full frontal nudity on airplanes?
posted by knave at 11:29 AM on February 24, 2005

I'd rather be called an asshole.
posted by gottabefunky at 11:29 AM on February 24, 2005

I'd rather be called an asshole.

Me, too.

...Now I'm going to have "Let The Eagle Soar" stuck in my head all fucking day. Great.
posted by salad spork at 11:35 AM on February 24, 2005

Looks like Argentina will be next up for "regime change".
posted by Target Practice at 11:38 AM on February 24, 2005

Too funny.
posted by caddis at 11:42 AM on February 24, 2005

At a previous job, I needed to create a dummy customer and users for internal testing of our software. So, I created users George Bush, Condi Rice, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, and John Asscroft (intentional misspelling). My coworkers thought it was funny. Unfortunately, this account later got used for a demo to execs. Oops.
posted by tippiedog at 11:46 AM on February 24, 2005

"Stick it up your Ashcroft... Sideways!"
posted by anthill at 11:47 AM on February 24, 2005

I don't have a copy around here, but I recall reading Gore Vidal's Myra/Myron Breckenridge back in the 1970's. It's been a long time, but I believe that Vidal replaced at least nine explicit and/or "vulgar" words with the names of the Supreme Court justices of the time. Myra's vagina, if I remember correctly, was her "Whizzer White."
posted by mmahaffie at 11:55 AM on February 24, 2005

I think they should show Deep Throat on the plane, with bad CGI cloths draped over the actors.

*wonders, would they censor clitorus?*
posted by Arch Stanton at 11:56 AM on February 24, 2005

"Excuse me, but you seem to have santorum leaking from your ashcroft..."
posted by stifford at 11:57 AM on February 24, 2005

Hahahahaaaaaaaa haha. Butt seriously, Ashcroft is such an Ashcroft.
posted by zekinskia at 12:00 PM on February 24, 2005

I don't have "Let The Eagle Soar" stuck in my head; instead, my brain is repeating "Myra's vagina Myra's vagina Myra's vagina" over and over.
posted by Specklet at 12:11 PM on February 24, 2005

Many, many bad jokes with Ashcroft, Santorum, Dick and Bush coming to mind.

Restraint failing, must close tab......
posted by fenriq at 12:13 PM on February 24, 2005

Number of times "Asscroft" has been used to bolster a political arguement on MeFi: 44

/sad
posted by dhoyt at 12:15 PM on February 24, 2005

"But I don't want to be exposed to Ashcroft!"
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 3:14 PM on February 24, 2005

It's been a long time, but I believe that Vidal replaced at least nine explicit and/or "vulgar" words with the names of the Supreme Court justices of the time.

Robert Anton Wilson did much the same in one of his books, replacing naughty words with the names of prominent feminists (breasts were "Brownmillers;" orgasm was "Millet") and justices ("Burger" meant "shit").
posted by kindall at 3:21 PM on February 24, 2005

No movie should be treated in such a manner. If I were the director I'd be insulted.
posted by camworld at 3:41 PM on February 24, 2005

Given that the dubbing was done using the original actors' voices (according to the article), I wouldn't be at all surprised if it were the director's idea.
posted by Aknaton at 4:24 PM on February 24, 2005

This is hilarious, but it doesn't compare to the numerous euphemistic renditions of "motherf*cker" you find on TV. I've heard everything from munkerfunker to monkey-feces to monkey-finger to mother-Frenchy to Mother Hubbard.
posted by jonp72 at 5:03 PM on February 24, 2005

jonp: don't forget "melon farmer".
posted by pxe2000 at 5:15 PM on February 24, 2005

"No Walter, you're just an Ashcroft!" - The Dude
posted by NationalKato at 6:25 PM on February 24, 2005

My favorite of all time.

Yippee-Ki-yea Mr. Falcon. Die hard 2
posted by filmgeek at 7:29 PM on February 24, 2005

filmgeek, that was the first thing that went through my mind.
posted by Arch Stanton at 7:36 PM on February 24, 2005

sorry, i can avoid the santorums and ashcrofts, but jonp reminded me of "mickey fickey" in "Do the Right Thing" on some cable network. that was one of the weirdest movie experiences i think i've ever had.
posted by sleepy pete at 8:01 PM on February 24, 2005

I've called him Asscrotch and Asscraft. BTW, dhoyt, insulting the political opposition is not attempt to bolster a political argument. It's an expression of frustration and an attempt to lighten the mood while we're living under the reign of delusional, spiritually-diseased, bible-thumpers and war-profiteers.
posted by VP_Admin at 11:56 PM on February 24, 2005

Do you see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens when you meet a stranger in the Alps?
posted by thecaddy at 12:20 AM on February 25, 2005 [1 favorite]

One more "euphemistic rendition of "motherf*cker" for your collection:

He's a mean motorscooter and a bad go-getter. -- "Alley Oop" by the Hollywood Argyles
posted by sighmoan at 2:33 AM on February 25, 2005

Personal favourite: "Forget you, you maggot farmer!" - Clint Eastwood in Heartbreak ridge.
posted by doozer_ex_machina at 6:03 AM on February 25, 2005

Samuel L. Jackson's parade of Bowdlerized MF's in "Jackie Brown" was always good for a few chuckles, as seen on broadcast TV. Heh: "Mother's Father," "Mighty Friendly," and the aforementioned "Melon Farmer" are my faves.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 8:53 AM on February 25, 2005

I caught this on the way over to Hong Kong. It is a testament to my total being-out-of-it-ness that it took me watching the film at least twice before I realized it was a dub.

That, and them talking about "getting loved" all the time.
posted by codger at 1:29 PM on March 14, 2005