EP3 Trailer

March 10, 2005 10:09 PM

EP3 Trailer Awesome.
posted by jimjam (87 comments total)

As in Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith
posted by jimjam at 10:11 PM on March 10, 2005

'Bout time that particular festering corpse got around to rotting away completely.
posted by nightchrome at 10:15 PM on March 10, 2005

the torrent will be done in 30 minutes.

*crosses fingers*
please don't suck, please don't suck.

After the KOTOR2 debacle I need something really good to come out of LucasArts or I'm just going to kill myself.
posted by puke & cry at 10:19 PM on March 10, 2005

Alternate .mov link.
posted by Arch Stanton at 10:23 PM on March 10, 2005

Looks fantastic. /me melts into puddle of fanboy glee.
posted by muckster at 10:27 PM on March 10, 2005

I came. Repeatedly.
posted by keswick at 10:28 PM on March 10, 2005

so much for 30 minutes.

It looks pretty good, I like seeing the dark side kick everyones ass (Darkside KOTOR player here). I guess I have have to hold off on the suicide for a bit longer!
posted by puke & cry at 10:29 PM on March 10, 2005

That looks so incredibly awesome. I am now ready for the crushing disappointment.
posted by coriolisdave at 10:31 PM on March 10, 2005

What if... it's actually good? Wouldn't that be a lovely surprise. Or, maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up (again).
posted by kokogiak at 10:36 PM on March 10, 2005

See, that's how I'm trying to trick myself. It looks awesome, but historically disappointment is par for the course with these prequels. Therefore, if I'm expecting disappointment and it's actually GOOD....
posted by coriolisdave at 10:42 PM on March 10, 2005

It doesn't seem believable to me. How could someone who is married to Natalie Portman be so angry? Same problem I had with Closer.
posted by Arch Stanton at 10:49 PM on March 10, 2005

Boy, that looks grim. I sure hope Anakin doesn't succumb to the dark side.
posted by notmydesk at 10:51 PM on March 10, 2005

Jesus all of these have had enough stunning visual effects and little bits of good action to make a decent trailer.
posted by bitdamaged at 10:51 PM on March 10, 2005

ok everyone. It looks good, I know. We have to set ourselves up for disapointment. That is the true way of THE DARK SIDE.
/end SW geek.
posted by puke & cry at 10:59 PM on March 10, 2005

Is this "star wars" something I would have to have lived a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away to have heard of?
posted by Balisong at 11:17 PM on March 10, 2005

Lucasfilm credit. Star Wars theme. Titles. Awesome opening sequence.

The film rips.

A white screen. In ducks the head of Jar-Jar Binks. He gurgles and disappears. And he does so again, from another side of the screen. And then anothe side. And then again, and then again, and then again.

They multiply.

This goes on for two hours, with quiet, distant laughter being slowly mixed into the soundtrack. And the exits of the theater are locked.

Cut to black. End credits over the usual John Williams music.

On leaving the theater, each dazed, furious audience member is handed $200, and told to tell all of friends and family that Episode III was really, really awesome. The first person to balk is shot through the neck with a crossbow, and then the ushers tell everyone that if anyone else should disobey, then they shall be hunted down and killed as well.

And so spreads the lie that Episode III is really awesome and not at all just a white screen with Jar-Jar Binks popping out from the sides for two hours. Even in film books and newspaper reviews, and even in the stilted, terrified private conversations amongst those who have already seen it, no one admits what it actually was.

In a more perfect world, that is what Star Wars: Episode III would be. Indeed...it would be the most successful picture of all time...

On preview: I apologize.
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:20 PM on March 10, 2005

sticherbeast: don't apologize, this is the true path of the dark side. I can't wait to see my fellow patrons strabbed through the neck with the power of THE FORCE. That would make the movie even better.
posted by puke & cry at 11:29 PM on March 10, 2005

coriolisdave writes "That looks so incredibly awesome. I am now ready for the crushing disappointment."

laughed hard.

seriously, though. Every trailer has looked outstanding for each of these movies. Please don't forget, it was never really the light sabers or the special effects (with some exceptions) that were the problem with these prequels: it was the script and the acting and this one giant over-inflated bearded head hovering above a flannel shirt that kept getting in the way of all the good bits.
posted by shmegegge at 11:45 PM on March 10, 2005

Anyone seen a non-torrent link? I'm not on my regular computer and don't want to install torrent on someone else's computer.
The .mov link isn't working.
posted by BackwardsHatClub at 11:58 PM on March 10, 2005

This actually looks good. I would be amazed if it's half as dark as it seems. The trailer makes it look like it'll be like Empire, where evil wins out by the end of the film.
posted by mathowie at 12:02 AM on March 11, 2005

I've always said,

Flavor Flav is the JarJar Binks of rap.
posted by lacus at 12:17 AM on March 11, 2005

"Error downloading codec." Audio only. WTF?
posted by newton at 12:54 AM on March 11, 2005

Every trailer has looked outstanding for each of these movies.

Really? I thought the ep2 trailer looked awful. Didnt stop me from seeing it though.
posted by juv3nal at 12:54 AM on March 11, 2005

"It doesn't seem believable to me. How could someone who is married to Natalie Portman be so angry? Same problem I had with Closer."

*smiles knowingly
posted by schyler523 at 1:10 AM on March 11, 2005

Hated the first one.
Willed myself not to see the second.
Could care less about the third.

Don't you people know the definition of insanity? This film is guaranteed to stink. Please don't bother giving Lucas your money.
posted by quadog at 1:13 AM on March 11, 2005

It's coming in too fast!
posted by nthdegx at 2:20 AM on March 11, 2005

Jings! This means nothing coming from me but that looks really really good.
posted by nthdegx at 2:34 AM on March 11, 2005

A version with better picture quality (xvid, torrent)
posted by aksim at 2:36 AM on March 11, 2005

Episode III: Han Solo's Crazy Crazy Space High School

Episode III: Ewok Mayhem

Episode III: Easter Special

Episode III: Mark Hamill Comes Out Of Natalie Portman's Vagina
posted by Pretty_Generic at 2:51 AM on March 11, 2005

If you asked me 10 years ago how excited I would be at the prospect of the last-ever Star Wars film, I would never have answered "not very". However, the past two travesties have really impacted my ability to grow enthusiastic about this film.
posted by LondonYank at 2:51 AM on March 11, 2005

Movie poster.
posted by nthdegx at 2:58 AM on March 11, 2005

Bollux
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:06 AM on March 11, 2005

[SPOILER]

Also: Natalie Portman disguised as a Twi'Lek is a bit special!

[/SPOILER]
posted by nthdegx at 3:55 AM on March 11, 2005

Ok, if the E stands for Episode, what does the P stand for? Or are you just being a good marketing wonk and creating edgy acronyms where none exist?

Five to ten years ago, it would have been EP³.

Oh, and while I'm hatin' on Star Wars: I hate to break it to Lucas, but it's Episode Six. Just because it takes place in the past does not make it occur earlier in the series' Metatime. They were intended to be seen in order from 4-6 and 1-3. Which means the original Star Wars is still episode 1. If he doesn't like it, he should have shot and shown them in the right order.
posted by Eideteker at 4:26 AM on March 11, 2005

FYI, you're confusing ancronyms and abbreviations, Mr.
posted by nthdegx at 4:29 AM on March 11, 2005

For some reason the video portion isn't working. Well, it would make a great radio show...
posted by alumshubby at 4:30 AM on March 11, 2005

Does anyone else feel like everything will be better with the franchise when Lucas dies? Then, I suspect, those in charge of his estate will restore the films to their pre-special edition versions because they'll know that it'll be another billion dvd sales and possibly more theatre sales, even, and they'll go for the money.

If anyone else feels this way, do you also feel kind of bad for looking forward to it?
posted by shmegegge at 5:03 AM on March 11, 2005

Just gentle asking here [the vid looked sweeeet], but what differentiates a Star Wars trailer post from the PepsiBlue Napoleon/Robots Dance-off filter post of a few days ago? Is it the fact that the StarWars thingy is more "leaked" and less of a legit ad?

But, like I said, sweet.
posted by tpl1212 at 5:06 AM on March 11, 2005

Was anyone else reminded of Beavis' The Great Cornholio when Palpatine says "Are you threatening me?!"
posted by titboy at 5:07 AM on March 11, 2005

Argh, no torrent at work and Arch Stanton's link is dead. Little help?
posted by Plutor at 5:35 AM on March 11, 2005

Was anyone else reminded of Beavis' The Great Cornholio when Palpatine says "Are you threatening me?!"

Holy Christ, I am glad someone else thought that. I feel somehow less insane. On the flip side, your name is "titboy," so maybe I shouldn't check myself out of the hospital just yet.

Also, this trailer is very exciting. The film will be less exciting. I will still pay to see it, probably full price, because I am a sucker for stupid movies where stuff gets blowed up real good, and also because Darth Vader is, pretty much, the man.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:48 AM on March 11, 2005

The rawkness of the trailer is inversely proportional to how rawk the movie will actually be. This is based on the trailers for Phantom Menance and Attack of the Clones, but it can be applied to other trailers, too, you know.

Also, you just can't have a good trailer without someone yelling "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in it. That is all.
posted by WolfDaddy at 5:53 AM on March 11, 2005

75 EPIII Spoiler Pics with Commentary
posted by bugbread at 5:55 AM on March 11, 2005

Having read the "summaries" and seen the "spoilers", bugbread's link made me much, much happier.

I feel so gullible for having believed those other sites.
posted by NinjaPirate at 6:13 AM on March 11, 2005

Bugbread:

That link was awesome.

And, like everyone else commenting, I will still fork over my seven bucks to reward George Lucas for making another stinking pile of nonsense. The Star Wars prequels are the best argument yet for medical marijuana: with enough herbal enhancement, you might be able to make it through the wooden acting, stilted dialogue with only minimal nausea and be able to enjoy the eye-candy.
posted by bumpkin at 6:41 AM on March 11, 2005

Can I just point out that bit torrent rocks?
posted by signal at 6:55 AM on March 11, 2005

Yes, you can. And I agree. The files I've obtained make heyday Napster look like, well, modern-day Napster.
posted by item at 7:03 AM on March 11, 2005

Wasn't there originally some talk of two sequels as well, or was I deep in some web/pr0n/flu/apathy-induced coma which taunted me with visions of Christmas yet to come?
posted by NinjaPirate at 7:03 AM on March 11, 2005

luke, at that speed, will you be able to pull out in time?
posted by obeygiant at 7:07 AM on March 11, 2005

NinjaPirate: The original plan was for nine movies total -- the three prequels, and three more sequels. Consensus seems to be that Lucas isn't gonna get around to the last three.
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:13 AM on March 11, 2005

this trailer revives my naive hope that this movie will defy the past and actually be great.
posted by tsorgie at 7:18 AM on March 11, 2005

For more trailer geekery, here's the new Zelda trailer that was released yesterday.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:20 AM on March 11, 2005

Is there anything I can do about a broken codec? Something is about to feel a great disturbance in the force if I'm stuck with audio only.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 7:29 AM on March 11, 2005

I saw the first two, and I have no idea where we are in the story -- and I'm good at following plots. For instance, who the hell is Count Dooku? I know he's evil cuz his name sounds like poo, but who is he and why should I care about him? (Don't tell me; I don't really want to know.)

And as for Anakin's descent into evil -- where has it been? He's been occasionally impulsive. He has little temper tantrums. He whines like a teen. Is that it?

This whole series is working out to be like the first Godfather movie as it would have been had Michael Corleone sat around and done irrelevant things for the first two hours. Then, suddenly, at the end of the movie, he becomes a reallly corrupt mafia boss!
posted by argybarg at 7:37 AM on March 11, 2005

For the Bit Torrent codec, I would recommend trying ffdshow. I had the same problem of sound and no video from a torrent download and it fixed it.

The .mov link I posted above was working last night, I swear. :)
posted by Arch Stanton at 7:41 AM on March 11, 2005

These damn things never work. I always need a codec and it always fails to download. P.S. Lucas already said that this is a six-movie series period.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:41 AM on March 11, 2005

There's a whole slew of animated shorts called Clone Wars that were on the Cartoon Network. I think you can see clips from it here.

That may help to clear up some plot holes, argybarg.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:42 AM on March 11, 2005

Arch - that did it. Thank you.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 7:46 AM on March 11, 2005

"You were the chosen one! These are the ALL-o-gistics!"
posted by djeo at 7:52 AM on March 11, 2005

And as for Anakin's descent into evil -- where has it been?

The massacre of an entire village of Sandpeople in Episode II?

The willingness to join an organisation whose members regularly use mindcontrol to get their own way? The willingness to use a brainwashed clone army to fight his battles? (Oh wait, that was the entire Republican Government/Jedi - Who are the good guys again?)
posted by biffa at 7:53 AM on March 11, 2005

I think Anakin voted for Bush, too.
posted by Arch Stanton at 7:58 AM on March 11, 2005

See, if I'd been clearer about who was creating the clone army and why-- or, more importantly, why I should care -- I'd probably feel something about Anakin.

As for the sandpeople massacre, well, okay. It wasn't exactly a riveting scene -- as is typical of Lucas, we find out about it mostly from dialogue -- but it's there.

Again, think about Michael Corleone -- watching his son being baptized while we see, in crosscutting, the heads of the five families slaughtered one after the other. Is there any comparable scene in these movies? Any comparable feeling of a man being drawn in against his will?
posted by argybarg at 8:03 AM on March 11, 2005

Meh. I was only going to see Episode III if my buddy were still at ILM. Now that he's working for WETA on "King Kong," I won't get to see it for free like I did for Episode II, "Send In the Clones." Which means I won't see this abomination at all.

Which also means I won't have to curse George Lucas for simultaneously taking away two hours of my life and crushing my childhood memories. I'll probably get some yardwork done instead.

Also, if anyone tells me that this movie rocks, I'm going to keep an eye out for some LucasNinja with a crossbow.
posted by RakDaddy at 9:22 AM on March 11, 2005

This actually looks good. I would be amazed if it's half as dark as it seems. The trailer makes it look like it'll be like Empire, where evil wins out by the end of the film.

I've kept up with the spoilers and and there is very little about the film that is not bleak. Lots of death and destruction.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 9:29 AM on March 11, 2005

This actually looks good. I would be amazed if it's half as dark as it seems. The trailer makes it look like it'll be like Empire, where evil wins out by the end of the film.

Well, think about it...evil does win out at the end of this one. Vader is born, and the Jedi are taken out. This will be a dark one, and I can't wait.
posted by JaxJaggywires at 9:41 AM on March 11, 2005

Sorry but that doesnt look good. Yet this is still funny!

Oh and Star Wars Vs Star Trek!
posted by Niahmas at 9:53 AM on March 11, 2005

great link, bugbread.

i accidentally taped it off Fox last night, if anybody wants to come over and watch it.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:04 AM on March 11, 2005

I'm skeptical that Lucas has the artistic integrity to make the next movie as dark as the story line requires, and I'll be pleasantly surprised if he does.

The original plan was for nine movies total -- the three prequels, and three more sequels

I remember hearing this after Star Wars came out, and I think it's BS. I think it was an expectedly huge success and the other movies were afterthoughts. There are too many examples of lazy storytelling for me to believe in the whole nine movies business. (Sexual tension between Luke and Leia in Star Wars versus them being brother and sister in Return of the Jedi, Return of the Jedi being a cross between a redo of the first movie and an extended Ewoks commercial, the Force being mystical in Star Wars and physical in Episode I, and stormtroopers being various sizes in the original movies versus clones in Send in the Clones, for starters.)

Attack in the Clones was confusing, because "attack of the clones" sounds like something bad, but they were the good guys in the context of the movie.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:14 AM on March 11, 2005

And as for Anakin's descent into evil -- where has it been?

The massacre of an entire village of Sandpeople in Episode II?

He really whined those guys to death...

Perhaps the franchise could be saved if Lucas made several hundred trailers instead of full-length features with all that pesky "acting" getting in the way.
posted by unsupervised at 10:22 AM on March 11, 2005

There's still a bunch of plot holes I expect will not be addressed in this movie, chiefly, Han Solo--isn't he supposed to be a stormtrooper who has a crisis of conscience and saves Chewie's life, thus winning Chewie's loyalty? And what about Lando--shouldn't he make an appearance with regards to losing the Millenium Falcon to Han in some sort of contest? I always thought Han got kicked out of the Stormtroopers for saving Chewie, so he and Chewie started a freelance smuggling business with the Falcon, which Han won in a space-chess game with Lando.

/geek

Eh. We'll see. I'm excited, and completely prepared for it to suck.
posted by fandango_matt at 11:07 AM on March 11, 2005

No, Han was a member of the Corellian military, and widely recognized as an extraordinary pilot. He may have gotten dumped out for having saved Chewie, but he was never a stormtrooper.

Or so it was implied in in the Daley Han Solo books.
posted by Irontom at 11:52 AM on March 11, 2005

space-chess

Actually, matt, it was Sabacc.

Obviously. And by space chess, I assume you mean Dejarik Holo-chess.
posted by armoured-ant at 12:52 PM on March 11, 2005

I love you nerds. Big hug!
posted by NinjaPirate at 1:40 PM on March 11, 2005

Wookies were used as slave labor because they were both technologically adept and tremendously strong. Han was an Imperial cadet - likely in some sort of officers school since stormtroopers are now known to be clones. The StarWars.com website confirmed this, although various EU sources have contradicted it in a variety of ways. Solo was kicked out of the military (surprised the Empire wouldn't just execute him and be done with it) and Chewbacca swore a life debt to him. Basically that means that until you die a Wookie is going to be by your side as your protector. If he dies, another from his family takes his place.

What I want to see is the New Jedi Order made into films. R-rated films. =P

Unfortunately Lucas has stated that he is taking legal measures to ensure that the Star Wars universe is not tinkered with after he dies. Whether or not he can actually do this, I have no idea. But he clearly does not want anyone making films or tv series or whatever after he is gone.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 2:22 PM on March 11, 2005

P.S. Lucas already said that this is a six-movie series period.

Way back mumble years ago, ISTR Lucas talking about this being a nine-movie series. This will be the sixth film to be released, the third in the storyline, and my geeky middle-aged coworkers and I have had many good-natured arguments about how the story arc could play out over Episodes Seven through Nine -- something like a new Emperor trying to stage a comeback, Leia marrying Han and starting a new generation of heroes 'n' heroines, and the effort to rebuild the Jedi knight cadre.
posted by alumshubby at 2:28 PM on March 11, 2005

Weretable, Etc. writes stormtroopers are now known to be clones.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Then why are they so stupid? Hitting their heads on doors, shoot badly, rudimentary mechanical knowledge, etc. But, since they're clones of Jengo Fett, shouldn't they at least be able to duke it out for a while before getting shot and falling in a crevice? Or, is the cloning technology some Multiplicity-like clone of a clone thing where they're all mentally handicapped by the time the original series of films took place?
posted by Arch Stanton at 2:39 PM on March 11, 2005

Unfortunately Lucas has stated that he is taking legal measures to ensure that the Star Wars universe is not tinkered with after he dies.

I wish George Lucas would take legal action to ensure the Star Wars universe is not tinkered with by George Lucas while he's still alive. Dear George: Han shot first. Sincerely, your fans.
posted by fandango_matt at 3:28 PM on March 11, 2005

Arch Stanton a: I thought that the cloning idea explained thier crappiness in the original movies.

Maybe clones wear out faster, or maybe the clone producing company is like a space-haliburton, and once the empire gets locked into using clones they just start producing shoddier and shoddier clones.
posted by Iax at 4:43 PM on March 11, 2005

Of course there's going to be three more SW movies (postquels?)

When Lucas figures out how to completely rid himself of the need of anything but himself and his computer to make his movies, we'll get episodes 7-8-9.
posted by WolfDaddy at 5:06 PM on March 11, 2005

Can I just say I hate Star Wars and every vacuous, superficial, cold, thin, soulless, witless, charmless, empty-headed aspect of it so very, very much it makes my teeth ache?

No?

Sorry! My mistake!
posted by Decani at 6:29 PM on March 11, 2005

Decani : " Can I just say I hate Star Wars and every vacuous, superficial, cold, thin, soulless, witless, charmless, empty-headed aspect of it so very, very much it makes my teeth ache? "

Before 1999, no. Now, yes.
posted by bugbread at 6:39 PM on March 11, 2005

bugbread: I used to say it before 1999 too, but I confess that was at least 20% for the mischievous hell of it rather than out of any justified outrage. But come on - Ewoks? I think not. In fact I'm damned well certain not.

Tarkovsky's Stalker. Now that's an SF movie.
posted by Decani at 7:24 PM on March 11, 2005

What Decani said. Drawing the line between "good" and "bad" in such a way that the last two SW films fall on one side and the previous three on the other is rather like drawing it between having your pocket picked and being mugged with violence. Yeah, one sucks harder than the other but it's not like the other doesn't suck. I quote:

Han Solo: I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.
Princess Leia: I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain!
(Chewbacca laughs)
Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball!

And that's from the one that everyone considers the most well-written; not the one with the dancing teddy bears. The first and last thing I ever found to admire in Star Wars is the early Ralph McQuarrie concept art.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:37 PM on March 11, 2005

I've always known that Obi-Wan fucks up Anakin in a battle over a lava pit. That's just how it happened. I've known this.

Where did I learn that snippet of information from? Can anyone point me to it?

Anyway, I've been saying since Jar-Jar that I'd be willing to forgive if the battle between Obi and pre-Darth is worth it.

We'll see...
posted by Cyrano at 7:46 PM on March 11, 2005

What an awesome trailer! Now I don't have to go see the movie!

Thank god.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:39 AM on March 12, 2005

How could someone who is married to Natalie Portman be so angry?

"No matter how hot she looks, there's some guy out there who's tired of taking her shit"

posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:08 AM on March 12, 2005

Meesa excited!
posted by scarabic at 11:19 PM on March 14, 2005