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Papal conclave
April 6, 2005 11:14 AM   Subscribe

The conclave of cardinals will soon start the process of choosing a new pope. Have you filled in your brackets yet?
posted by Davenhill (51 comments total)

 
Bwahahaha. Sweet Sistine. and Duke!!
posted by smcniven at 11:17 AM on April 6, 2005


heh.. duke.......


seriously though I've got my money on the black guy.
posted by odinsdream at 11:17 AM on April 6, 2005


I'm hoping against hope that Father Ted Crilly makes it (oh please, oh please!). According to ABC News, the odds of Father Dougal Maguire of Craggy Island becoming pope are only 1000-1.
posted by Davenhill at 11:27 AM on April 6, 2005


Popapalooza?!

*bangs head*
posted by deborah at 11:27 AM on April 6, 2005


I'm still waiting for the Final Four to be determined... I mean come on, it's like 95% of basketball games, you can tune in at the fourth quarter and not miss the excitement.
posted by clevershark at 11:29 AM on April 6, 2005


I wonder about the match-up inside between Dario Castrillon Hoyos and Nicolas de Jesus Lopez Rodriguez in the first round. (I know the Hoyas took it all in 1984, but Hoyos remains a question mark in the eyes of many people.)

p.s. I even went to Duke, but this year I'd have to pick North Carolina.
posted by LeLiLo at 11:30 AM on April 6, 2005


Betting the Louisville Cardinal(s) will make it to the Final 4.
posted by thomcatspike at 11:33 AM on April 6, 2005


They're not going to interrupt American Idol for this are they?
posted by j.p. Hung at 11:34 AM on April 6, 2005


Joseph "Rimshaker" Ratzinger gets my vote.
posted by dflemingdotorg at 11:40 AM on April 6, 2005


Is Father Murphy available as a write-in? Wait a minute, he was just pretending to be a priest...How about Father Mulcahy?
posted by jonmc at 11:41 AM on April 6, 2005


This would be an ecumenical matter
posted by TheDonF at 11:48 AM on April 6, 2005


I said it already: my money's on Norberto Rivera Carrera, Archbishop Primate of Mexico City
posted by matteo at 11:48 AM on April 6, 2005


I'm disappointed that Father Guido Sarducci did not make the list.
posted by eggonstilts at 11:49 AM on April 6, 2005


I nominate Father Duddleswell.
posted by debralee at 11:49 AM on April 6, 2005


I'm wondering what will happen to those in my family that are simultaneously insanely religious and racist if Francis Arinze gets the nod.

Scanners?
posted by unsupervised at 11:53 AM on April 6, 2005


The advert on the bottom:

Sponsored by:
The new low-carb communion wafers
"I can't believe it's not Jesus!"
posted by Jikido at 11:55 AM on April 6, 2005


Why is everybody sleeping on Father Dowling? He can save souls and solve crimes!
posted by GreyWingnut at 12:00 PM on April 6, 2005


unsupervised : I'm wondering what will happen to those in my family that are simultaneously insanely religious and racist if Francis Arinze gets the nod.

Maybe we'll get the schism I'm hoping for.
posted by Mitheral at 12:01 PM on April 6, 2005


My money's on Cardinal Roark.
posted by delmoi at 12:03 PM on April 6, 2005


I nominate Father Fitzgibbon. He managed to get nominated for both Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor at the 1944 Oscars, so this pope nomination business should be no problem.
posted by goatdog at 12:04 PM on April 6, 2005


I'm hoping for black horse Bernard Cardinal Law. He would make the vatican a lot sexier.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:04 PM on April 6, 2005


No, I'm sorry. Dougal and Ted cannot be Pope for Father Jack was BORN to be Pope.
posted by Katemonkey at 12:05 PM on April 6, 2005


Never mind those guys--I faxed my resume to Rome this morning. If they are looking for a non-Catholic pope this time, I am a shoo-in. If I were any of you, I would start sucking up to me right now.
posted by LarryC at 12:08 PM on April 6, 2005


Martin Scorcese would be a fucking excellent pope.
posted by dodgygeezer at 12:14 PM on April 6, 2005


LarryC, too late, afroblanca is already Pope. Maybe next time? Or you could convince him to make a copy...
posted by schyler523 at 12:19 PM on April 6, 2005


Mark my words, it's all going to come down to Schoenborn of Austria vs. Hoyos of Colombia. (And eggonstilts, I agree: Sarducci wuz robbed!)
posted by scody at 12:26 PM on April 6, 2005


I want the Polish-French ex-Jew. If only he were black.

OK, I want the Nigerian guy, or the guy from Benin, where Vodun is an official religion. Black trumps French Jew. I, too, want to see racist heads explode.

No, wait.

> I'm hoping for black horse

Now that would be cool. The end is neigh!
posted by pracowity at 12:32 PM on April 6, 2005


GreyWingnut is on to something, but Father Downling is getting up there, and may not be able to get around like he used to. That is why I am praying for this guy.
posted by Tullius at 12:37 PM on April 6, 2005


Ya gotta like Duke. But what the hey, they're only a 4 seed?
posted by mygoditsbob at 1:17 PM on April 6, 2005


I'll give 3:2 odds on the king of pop. Gotta bring child molestation into the 21st century...
posted by AlexReynolds at 1:27 PM on April 6, 2005


My money's on Cardinal Roark.

Um, I hate to tell you this, but Roark was killed last week. This horrible monster of a man went on a rampage. God bless that Cardinal Roark.
posted by graventy at 1:32 PM on April 6, 2005


Why is everybody sleeping on Father Dowling? He can save souls and solve crimes!

And Sister Steve... ooh, Sister Steve...
posted by sninky-chan at 1:39 PM on April 6, 2005


I'm wondering what will happen to those in my family that are simultaneously insanely religious and racist if Francis Arinze gets the nod.

Whatever happens, just promise you'll videotape it and post it online.
posted by Kellydamnit at 1:46 PM on April 6, 2005


I heard they're looking to go gay this time, so the smart money's on Rupert Everett.
posted by gigawhat? at 1:55 PM on April 6, 2005


Ya gotta like Duke. But what the hey, they're only a 4 seed?

Cairo ain't exactly a home court advantage either.
posted by manicroom at 2:53 PM on April 6, 2005


This would be an ecumenical matter

It's the ecumeny, stupid.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:02 PM on April 6, 2005


Be sure to check the lines before you start filling out that grid, kids...
posted by Ogre Lawless at 3:19 PM on April 6, 2005


I'm rooting for the Cardinal of the Kremlin, although he is described as a man of divided loyalties.
posted by clevershark at 4:02 PM on April 6, 2005


I think I'm switching from Arinze to Madriga, who'll choose John Paul III as his name. Why? Honduran food rocks!
posted by moonbird at 4:35 PM on April 6, 2005


Cardinal Claudio Hummes looks like a front runner, but how about "Pope Ted," representing Ireland? I think the RC Church is due for a dose of informality.
posted by fixedgear at 5:16 PM on April 6, 2005


Guys, Father Ted is dead. Obviously he would have been brilliant, but the last zombie pope caused enough trouble - I don't think the world can stand another one.
posted by Soulfather at 5:33 PM on April 6, 2005


No, I'm pretty sure Matthew Baldwin [defective yeti] is pope.

posted by deemer at 5:34 PM on April 6, 2005


I suppose it must be a communion wafer but it really really looks like a pancake.
posted by jfuller at 5:51 PM on April 6, 2005


I suppose it must be a communion wafer but it really really looks like a pancake.

If you look closely, you can even make out the face of the virgin Mary and child on it...
posted by Davenhill at 6:49 PM on April 6, 2005


Given that the Catholic church needs money, maybe they'll place a bet on the long shot and vote him in?
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:09 PM on April 6, 2005


Why is there a Honduran in there with the Italians?
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:46 PM on April 6, 2005


I would make an aw3s0me p0p3z0r.

my first ex cathedra pronouncement:

The Sacred and The Profane are the Same.

second:

Nothing is True; Everything is Permissible.

That would mix it up, for sure.
posted by exlotuseater at 9:01 PM on April 6, 2005


You got Popesnogled.
posted by Buzz at 9:06 PM on April 6, 2005


Can someone in the know tell me is it inconceivable for there to be an American Pope? Any potential cardinals in the US?
posted by zardoz at 11:02 PM on April 6, 2005


feck!
posted by brettski at 1:41 AM on April 7, 2005


zardoz, a catholic told me today; how many more Americans do I need telling me how to live my life.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:07 PM on April 7, 2005


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