I wailed and rent my son

April 18, 2005 4:53 PM

RentMySon is a subsidiary of ChildNet Services, with its corporate headquarters in San Diego, CA. In addition, we also maintain 4 regional offices across the United States.
RentMySon provides safe and trustworthy child-rental services in multiple metropolitan areas.
posted by kenko (42 comments total)

I wonder if there is a corresponding "RentMyDaughter?"

Preview: there's a valid url at rentmydaughter.com - wierd.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 5:00 PM on April 18, 2005

Has Jacko seen this?
posted by pieisexactlythree at 5:02 PM on April 18, 2005

About Me: I am in my senior year of high school. I am really good at making unattractive and overweight girls feel comfortable. I make a good prom date - I am in a band and have a lot of good stories and most people think I'm pretty funny.

Heh.
posted by fixedgear at 5:11 PM on April 18, 2005

See also rent-a-dildo.com. Or don't.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 5:11 PM on April 18, 2005

posted by karson at 5:14 PM on April 18, 2005

I went through several minutes of "WTF is this" before I found the Feedback page:

We recently used your services and I must say, you really saved the day! My 16 year-old daughter is a bit overweight and has always had a problem getting a date for her school dances. I had heard about your site through a friend of mine and decided to try it. We found a young boy in our area that was able to take my daughter to the dance, she had the best time and her attitude has done a 180 since! Thanks!

Oh dear... I wonder if they told the poor girl that her date was contractually obligated to go to the dance with her? I think that could undermine the attitude adjustment.

Also, regarding the legal info on the FAQ, I'm so glad they've managed to get aroud child labor laws. If this technique is legal -- subcontract to the parent who is legally allowed to employ the child -- why hasn't there been a huge rash of it? I could see kids putting a real dent in the mortgage instead of all that worthless schooling.
posted by rkent at 5:16 PM on April 18, 2005

this is a joke, right?
posted by selfmedicating at 5:18 PM on April 18, 2005

Armitage Shanks: Ahhh! They have Tera Patrick love dolls! I was about to ask why anyone would rent a dildo for $20 a month when they only cost about $35. Still... renting sex toys? *shudder*
posted by rkent at 5:22 PM on April 18, 2005

There's something unhealthy about the idea of renting sex toys... literally.
posted by clevershark at 5:24 PM on April 18, 2005

We pride ourselves in being a one-of-a-kind company with a near-perfect track record.

The words near-perfect scare the living hell out of me.
posted by dflemingdotorg at 5:31 PM on April 18, 2005

The words "child rental" did it for me.
posted by ontic at 5:37 PM on April 18, 2005

Hey, can I rent Sean when he turns 18, or will he have to have a massage license by then?
posted by WolfDaddy at 5:38 PM on April 18, 2005

"take my wife...please"
posted by infini at 5:55 PM on April 18, 2005

I call hoax.
posted by ori at 6:00 PM on April 18, 2005

"Zach enjoys playing in the park. He has gone on several afternoons with single men trying to attract women by looking like the "father type."

I can hear the first date conversation now:

Girl: So tell me more about your son.
Guy: Oh, I don't really have a son.
Girl: Really, who was the kid you were with when we met?
Guy: I dunno, I rented him.
Girl: You rented him?
Guy: Yeah, from the internet!
Girl: "Oh my gosh, that's so sweet. Wanna go back to my place and do it?
posted by yuppiepunk at 6:10 PM on April 18, 2005

I think the google ads are a big clue. Plus, some searching has lead me to believe there is no childnet services corporation. Faaaaake.
posted by Alison at 6:16 PM on April 18, 2005

I call hoax.

Well, yeah. Remember Rent-a-Negro? That was biting social commentary. This is lame.
posted by MLIS at 6:36 PM on April 18, 2005

I'll bet a beer that it's an alternate-reality game or a viral for some movie.
posted by NickDouglas at 6:38 PM on April 18, 2005

Supposedly in Tokyo there is a thriving Rent a Puppy market.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 6:42 PM on April 18, 2005

I dont believe it... but I do believe I'll be telling my friends....
posted by RightsaidFRED at 6:46 PM on April 18, 2005

Or for the seriously perverted: rent-a-german.
posted by AwkwardPause at 6:46 PM on April 18, 2005

I second NickDouglas. C'mon, that logo is gonna look great on a movie poster.
posted by maryh at 7:02 PM on April 18, 2005

Are you kidding? That logo would look awful on a poster.
posted by kenko at 7:10 PM on April 18, 2005

FWIW, they appear to be putting TrackBack spam into blogs. I just now deleted some from my own.
posted by pnh at 7:13 PM on April 18, 2005

Aw, c'mon. It's fake. The 'make a reservation' links don't work.
posted by graventy at 7:20 PM on April 18, 2005

graventy, they worked for me. I just ordered a boy for September event "involving pinatas".
posted by dobbs at 7:42 PM on April 18, 2005

I call ... Federal sting operation. Domain by proxy, pictures of kids under legal age, for rent, by state, all boys. A few low population centers thrown in, but San Diego, Miami and New York all stand out. Wouldn't doubt that it logs IPs, the first and last name you enter for 'renting', your email address, etc. - more than enough for law enforcement with any decent net education to track you down.
posted by kamus at 8:17 PM on April 18, 2005

I admit I was fooled...well made site though.

...looking at the kids profiles makes it pretty obvious. Reminds me of "The Onion" captions.
posted by apple scruff at 8:23 PM on April 18, 2005

I call ... Federal sting operation

I concur.

On the feedback page there's the bait... "Nancy Doherty - San Diego, CA --
We recently used your services and I must say, you really saved the day! My 16 year-old daughter is a bit overweight"

There's the hook: "Steve Pashley - San Marcos, CA --
I've been using your agency for about 6 months now and it's been nothing but positive experiences."

And the login page, well that's where you reel in the sickos...
posted by gagglezoomer at 8:39 PM on April 18, 2005

I think I saw a few of those kids at Technical Virgin as well.

Coincidence?
posted by yhbc at 8:46 PM on April 18, 2005

God, do you people bite at every lure? Of course this is a fake; those "kids" are clearly midgets.
posted by klangklangston at 9:04 PM on April 18, 2005

I'd like to see an option to rent-to-own. Short of that, I'd at least like to be offered an upgrade to the newest model when my rental expires...


Do you think they've got that "new kid smell?"
posted by Jon-o at 9:33 PM on April 18, 2005

Would the "new kid smell" be stale cheerios and the smell of poop? (If youve ever worked with toddlers/babies you know what I mean).
posted by Suparnova at 10:32 PM on April 18, 2005

I laughed my ass off when I saw the google ads on the site for renting party tents.

Actually I don't really know why I find that funny. I guess it's just the notion of renting a kid and a party tent. Now THAT'S a party!
posted by sveskemus at 1:07 AM on April 19, 2005

Oh...so...tempted...to start the pedophile jokes in this thread...
posted by ericb at 4:45 AM on April 19, 2005

I think pieisexactlythree started the pedophile jokes with the 'Has Jacko seen this' comment.
posted by sveskemus at 6:31 AM on April 19, 2005

They're just priming these boys for the big time.
posted by debralee at 6:43 AM on April 19, 2005

I smell an entry for the Contagious Media Showdown.
posted by patgas at 6:58 AM on April 19, 2005

love this - but it also goes to show that a pretty site (with credible writing and production) can sell almost almost anything...

...and i can't wait for the inevitable hysterical backlash a-la bonsai kitten...!!
posted by audiosonik at 6:59 AM on April 19, 2005

Isn't this how Jeff Gannon got started?
posted by maryh at 10:21 AM on April 19, 2005

Pffft. Parents ought to be paying me to take the little darlings monsters off their hands.
posted by deborah at 11:07 AM on April 19, 2005

Coincidentally, while walking the dog this afternoon I saw a sign for this company: Rent-A-Son.
posted by dobbs at 1:09 PM on April 19, 2005