Suck me up, Scotty!

May 1, 2005 2:56 PM

Introducing Residential Pneumatic Vacuum Elevators
posted by ontic (25 comments total)

If it weren't for the fact that it's a website, I would swear that this whole thing was a relic from the 80s.
posted by samh23 at 3:10 PM on May 1, 2005

this rock my world. thanks.
posted by Busithoth at 3:28 PM on May 1, 2005

I had a Micronauts toy of that once...
posted by bitmage at 3:32 PM on May 1, 2005

Despite all the safety assurances, all it'd take (at least here in California) is for a small earthquake to cause a tiny crack, equalize the air pressure and send the car plummeting to the bottom. I'll take cables please.
posted by vacapinta at 3:40 PM on May 1, 2005

Oh man, you have to get in an elevator box, not just be whooshed up from below like in Stranger in a Strange Land? I'm disappointed.
posted by Aknaton at 3:52 PM on May 1, 2005

i guess they'll have a safety device that jams the lift if it goes into free-fall (like normal operators)?

i'm surprised they can get it to work smoothly and reliably. an moving air-tight seal without stiction? sounds like it will need maintenance to me.
posted by andrew cooke at 3:56 PM on May 1, 2005

Well, It is one more place to have sex. Aside from that, get out and walk you lazy fuckers.
posted by jonmc at 3:58 PM on May 1, 2005

They mention that the car has a piston-type (or bladder) brake for just such a repressurization, vacapinta. Of course, you'd still be stuck in a tube.
posted by Nothing at 3:58 PM on May 1, 2005

Those are some riveting videos, however.
posted by stevil at 4:02 PM on May 1, 2005

Sorry everyone, the videos were working yesterday.
posted by ontic at 4:06 PM on May 1, 2005

shoop!
posted by sexyrobot at 4:09 PM on May 1, 2005

This seems rather pointless. The main reason to install an elevator in a house is for invalids.

Q: Can these vacuum elevators accommodate a wheel chair?
A: No, the cab is designed only for up to 2 people standing with a weight capacity of 450 lbs. It is possible to attach a fold-up chair for convenience. Wheelchair accessible models are currently being explored.

And really obease people have problems with stairs but there is a 450lb weight limit even if they can fit inside

b) Internal Cabin Diameter: 32" (2feet, 8 inches)

And what is with the noise level:

Q: How loud is the vacuum elevator ?
A:The vacuum elevator is 87 decibels, for a noise comparison chart please click on this link

Hmm, somewhere is loudness between heavy traffic, noisy restaurant, and a truck and shouted conversation
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 4:10 PM on May 1, 2005

Those are some riveting videos, however.

The classical music is a nice touch, but in my own head I was imagining something from the soundtrack of A Clockwork Orange.

If I had one of these, I'd hook it up to a fog machine. As I descended from my living quarters to greet my guests, my living room would be flooded with smoke. Maybe there'd be a short laser show too.
posted by hydrophonic at 4:21 PM on May 1, 2005

posted by wendell at 4:33 PM on May 1, 2005

" This seems rather pointless. The main reason to install an elevator in a house is for invalids."

Not all people who have great difficulty walking and, especially, climbing stairs use wheelchairs. This would be a godsend for me in this world in which so many damn houses are two and three stories.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 5:56 PM on May 1, 2005

These looks wider than some elevators I've been on in Europe. I hope that at least they make a cool swishing sound.
posted by Staggering Jack at 6:27 PM on May 1, 2005

I think it would be more fun if you actually got sucked up to the next floor, sans platform.
posted by greatgefilte at 6:40 PM on May 1, 2005

"Well, It is one more place to have sex. Aside from that, get out and walk you lazy fuckers."

It looks like it takes more time to get in that than walk up the stairs. However, if they make a model that makes a great swoosh noise as it slams you uncontrollably into the ground, or the ceiling of this thing just like at the bank drive-thru, I might consider buying it. All I would need then is a 6ft bic pen.
posted by gunthersghost at 7:48 PM on May 1, 2005

This clearly isn't meant for the handicapped; it's for the hardworking button-pusher returning from a grueling 3-hour workday at Spacely Sprockets.
posted by Tubes at 10:11 PM on May 1, 2005

is it just me, or do other people think this image from the web site looks like a giant penis?
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 10:19 PM on May 1, 2005

It looks pretty normal-sized, but I can only speak for myself.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:32 PM on May 1, 2005

The FAQ says the elevator makes 87 decibels of noise when in operation, making it louder than a ringing telephone and about as annoying as a garbage disposal or a blender, but fortunately if your baby starts crying somewhere in the house you'll just barely be able to hear it over the lift.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:55 PM on May 1, 2005

I'd imagine most people buying this thing are going to have a mechanical room that they can place the pump into which is where all the noise is coming from.

Besides it's not like this is going to be running non stop all day long. I'd bet in a lot of installations there are only a few cycles a day. A few going down in the morning as people decend from their bedrooms and a few going up at the end of the day. Something like this would be required for my father if we'd been foolish enough to build his house on two levels. He can walk around OK but more than a couple steps is unmanagable for him.
posted by Mitheral at 7:33 AM on May 2, 2005

anyone else having trouble with the link?
posted by Hanover Phist at 10:46 AM on May 2, 2005

Just made fark's front page, so it's probably down for the count.
posted by ontic at 3:00 PM on May 2, 2005