A manly, manly beard!

May 3, 2005 10:41 AM

Being the tale of a lad, and his quest for a beard. I've got visible vellus hair on my back (I got a couple of mirrors and checked). I've got shoulder hair. I've got bizarre hair high up on my cheeks. I've got some chest hair. I've got increased @#%$ hair (growing farther upward than it used to).
I had no idea some guys took facial hair this seriously. And then, while I was "combing" Metafilter for a duplicate post, I found this.
posted by malaprohibita (9 comments total)

Hey, malaprohibita, um, don't know how to say it, but, ah...how about a warning on "this"?
posted by jsavimbi at 10:47 AM on May 3, 2005

Remember, only one letter separates goatee from goatse.
posted by wendell at 11:47 AM on May 3, 2005

More facial hair? Weird. My ex-husband seriously wanted to find a way to permenantly get rid of his... I wonder if for these men, wanting more facial hair is equivalent to those women who feel that they are not "real" women unless they have at least C-cup boobies.
posted by Specklet at 12:14 PM on May 3, 2005

*Insert Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes joke here*

More facial hair?

I've got four bald spots on my face that prevent me from growing nice sideburns or a proper beard if I wanted to. The skin has always been very smooth in those areas though, so I'm guessing there are no follicles to regenerate in the first place. Ah well: th' wife would hate me in a beard anyway, but I would love to grow some sideburns that look connected to my hair without a side of the face variation on a combover...
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:25 PM on May 3, 2005

I wouldn't say I felt less of man or anything, but I simply couldn't grow a beard when I was younger (20s and into my 30s). It would come in uneven patches in inappropriate spots. I gave up on it and stayed clean-shaven until one summer about 5 years ago when I was an adult leader on a Boy Scout summer camp trip and forgot my razor. I still can't grow continuous sideburns on both sides, so I'm limited to a goatee. Do I obsess about it? Nah. But in this homophobic society of ours, some guys, especially in their teens, get picked on if everyone else has facial & body hair, and they don't have any. Guys like that (like I was at that time) end up being viewed as effeminate, which is not fun especially if you're *not* gay. (Prolly isn't much fun if you are, I suppose!)
posted by Doohickie at 12:35 PM on May 3, 2005

"Remember, only one letter separates goatee from goatse"
- I'm never going to live that down am I?

"get picked on if everyone else has facial & body hair"
You get picked on if you have too much too.
I look like an ogre with my shirt off. It doesn't make the beach fun.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:05 PM on May 3, 2005

I have too much hair. It often gets me mistaken for a real man instead of the web wussy that I truly am.
posted by meh at 1:07 PM on May 3, 2005

i hate shaving.
posted by blacklite at 6:13 PM on May 3, 2005

i hate shaving.

Wax.

It lasts slightly longer than shaving but tends to involve more blood than you might expect. At least for the first or second time.

Not as painful though. At least until you get to the upper lip.
posted by prak at 10:41 PM on May 3, 2005